Lady Chatterley's Lover

Digesting the three ponderous and difficult volumes of Fifty Shades induced me to backtrack to what I perceived to be the original erotica, Lady Chatterley’s Lover (hereinafter, LCL), written in 1928 by D.H. Lawrence.   The book had to be censored, then republished much later in an uncensored version which survived a fairly high profile obscenity trial in the UK in 1960. 

After having finished the book, I watched the 1981 movie version with Sylvia “Emmanuelle” Kristel as the lead role (no one else particularly famous therein); she’s not nearly as skinny as she was in those films and has a much more normal, attractive figure.  Although it made quite a few changes, the basic plot and ending remained essentially the same.  Note: there is also a much more recent 2006 French version as well.

Story.   Lord Clifford Chatterley returns from WWI a broken man, unable to give his Lady the intimacy she deserves.  He seeks solace in the care of an older, matronly woman, Mrs. Bolton (a caretaker, as the relationship is necessarily platonic), while the Lady finds a tramp – the gamekeeper, Oliver Mellors, somewhat of a rogue.  Despite their class differences, the pair fall in love with each other.  Clifford’s position is somewhat difficult: he knows he can’t satisfy her, and has no heir, but assumed that if she did take a lover, at least he would be an aristocrat like himself and not a bourgeois like Mellors; he actually did earn a commission in the British Army in India, though I suppose bourgeois vs. proletariat is not all that pertinent so long as he’s not upper class.  To some extent Clifford wants her to have an affair and a child so Wragby (his estate) will have an heir, but he can’t reconcile himself to allowing Mellors to be either the lover or the father, partly due to objections about his class but also because he personally dislikes Mellors himself.  As noted above, the 1981 movie changes many of the details but remains true to the story.

Unlike Fifty Shades, which is pretty much a porn book – the plot is as laughably thin as the “screw the pizza delivery guy/pool repairman” ones of most porn movies, notwithstanding considerable pretention to the contrary in the books – LCL is a novel which has a fair amount of sex.  In fact, what I found remarkable about it is how un-bored I was by the substantial discussion of other issues which Lawrence touches upon and addresses at length.  The social, political, and economic issues of England post World War I – some references to anarchism and bolshevism, the nature of the male-female relationship, the various characters’ subjective motivations and concerns, and Mrs. Bolton is fleshed out into a more substantial character in her own right.  In fact, all the characters are more substantial than simply filling convenient roles in what might otherwise be a simple naughty story.  The novel says more than just “Lady Chatterley found a lover.” 

For anyone seeking simple naughtiness, the movie would suffice.   For anyone seeking true literature (albeit with some naughtiness), particularly the “Lady & The Tramp” type of story, the novel is probably worth the effort.

UFO

Eons ago, in a galaxy far, far away: College Park, Maryland, probably around 1988-90, at a place called Kemp Mill Records, an older, more arrogant student asked me if I knew of the band UFO.  “Nope.”  “Oh, you’re just a babe in arms.  UFO are awesome!  Michael Schenker, man!”  Something to that effect.  If he’d just left “babe in arms” out of his spiel, he would have sold me immediately.  As it was, I decided to pass on the band for the immediate future.

MUCH later, I purchased Strangers in the Night, their definitive live album, and Real to Reel, Tesla’s double CD of covers, which included “Rock Bottom”.  The solo went on so long I forgot I was listening to Tesla and not UFO.   Although “Doctor Doctor” is UFO’s signature song, “Rock Bottom” is much better.

Much more recently, I saw the band at the local club Empire, formerly known as Jaxx.   Schenker’s place as guitarist was taken by Vinnie Moore, but vocalist Phil Mogg and drummer Andy Parker were still alive and well – as was rhythm guitarist/keyboardist Paul Raymond.   The bassist was Rob De Luca, who I don’t recognize from anywhere; Pete Way is still alive, but from what I hear his years of hard drinking and partying have permanently retired him from touring and essentially left him a recluse.  Most bands’ 70s’ tour war stories, to the extent they mention UFO, invariably blame Pete Way for the same excesses which are attributed to Keith Moon or John Bonham.   Singer Mogg likes to talk a lot between songs, clearly impressed with his own wit.  He looks a bit like Vladimir Putin these days, but keeps his shirt on and doesn’t wrestle wild animals or write for the New York Times – at least not on stage.    Moore did a great job of mimicking Michael Schenker’s guitar solos, but the band has new material he wrote himself; of such material they only played a few songs off the new album, Seven Deadly.   Listening to that and Strangers in the Night pretty much covered the bases in terms of “studying” for the show.

Beginnings.  Before Schenker, the band had a guitarist Mick Bolton, and did three albums:  UFO 1, UFO 2: Flying, and UFO Live in Japan.   All three have been conveniently combined onto a two CD set called Beginnings.  This material is more spacey and bluesy than the mainstream, Schenker-era (i.e. classic) UFO, in much the same way as the Scorpions’ first albums were different than the later Matthias Jabs era (Lovedrive and subsequent material).  The first album has two covers, Eddie Cochran’s “C’mon Everybody”, sounding like “Summertime Blues” for obvious reasons, and “Who Do You Love”, probably best covered by George Thorogood.  The second album and the live album go off into jam band psychedelic smoke.   Not necessarily better or worse than Strangers in the Night, but definitely different.

Phenomenon.  This is the first album with Michael Schenker, and features both top tracks “Doctor Doctor” and “Rock Bottom”.  The rest of the tunes are far from filler, even if they can’t quite match the hits.   Whether as an auspicious beginning to starting a UFO collection, or an excellent album in its own right, I can heartily recommend this one for any fan of 70s hard rock.

The Schenker era is more mainstream mid to late 70s hard rock; not particularly unique or special, but certainly fun to listen to and competitive with their peers.  I actually hear some Scorpions (Schenker? I can’t imagine why) and Thin Lizzy in the mix as well.  Strangers in the Night has as much place in your collection as All The World’s A Stage, If You Want Blood You Got It, Frampton Comes Alive, Kiss Alive, etc.  Live, this band gets it done even now, playing to a crowd of 100 people in a club that can fill 300.  Including one jerk who screamed for “Rock Bottom” throughout the entire set – until the end of it, when they finally played the song.

Good Pimps

Rounding out my Dan Aykroyd film collection, I watched “Doctor Detroit” the other night, followed by watching again (for the first time in years) “Night Shift”, not a Dan Aykroyd film but having a similar plot.  Both are films about sympathetic pimps.

Night Shift (1982).   We had this on VHS ages ago.  My favorite line is when Chuck (Henry Winkler) tries to get Bill (Michael Keaton) to stop talking, so he shouts into Bill’s tape recorder, “this is CHUCK reminding BILL to SHUT UP!”

            Chuck Lumley works at the morgue in NYC.  Normally he’d be a financial manager, but he found that job too stressful, so he slummed down to the morgue, where nothing ever happens and office politics is non-existent.  The boss demotes him to night shift, to give his own nephew the cushy day job shift Chuck formerly had.   Much to his dismay, the quiet of night shift is rudely interrupted by his reckless, irresponsible new shift partner, Bill.  In addition to never shutting up, Bill also runs a limo service using the morgue’s hearses.  “What if we get a call?” asks Chuck.  “No big deal, the corpse isn’t going anywhere,” is Bill’s response.

            Eventually they cross paths with a sympathetic prostitute, Belinda (Shelley Long) (best known as Diane from “Cheers”, a role she’ll pick up soon after this movie) who also happens to be Chuck’s neighbor.   This causes problems with Chuck’s fiancé Charlotte (Gina Hecht) who is neurotic and not much fun, nor all that attractive either.  With Belinda’s pimp an early casualty of the story line – Chuck meets her when she’s at the morgue to identify the late pimp’s corpse – Bill gets the bright idea for the pair of them to act as pimps themselves.  They take 10% (instead of the customary 90%) and invest the girls’ earnings in legitimate business enterprises (no car wash, though).   The excrement hits the oscillating ventilation device when the local baddies – who had murdered the prior pimp – then try to kill Chuck.   The bigger story line is Chuck finally growing a pair and telling everyone – Charlotte, food delivery sleazebag, hostile apartment building dog – to f**k off.   

Doctor Detroit (1983).  I think of this as an early Dan Aykroyd film, and it is – but not that early.  It’s after “Blues Brothers” and only one year before “Ghostbusters”.   James Brown has a cameo in this one.  As you recall, he was in “The Blues Brothers” as well. 

            Borrowing heavily from Jerry Lewis’ “The Nutty Professor”, here’s the plot.  Chicago pimp Smooth Walker (Howard Hesseman) is in big trouble; he’s been embezzling money from his boss, “Mom”, a mafia godmother (Kate Murtagh).  So he cooks up a fictional competing mobster, “Dr. Detroit”, who he claims has been shaking him down.  All well and fine, but Mom decides she wants to bump ugly with this Dr. Detroit guy in person.  Now SW has to find a patsy to fill the role.  Enter Clifford Skridlow (Aykroyd), a mild-mannered English professor at a local college.  I’ve lost track of how many films feature a college desperate for money to stay in business, but this is one of them.  Although assured de facto tenure because his father (George Furth – the sourpuss guy in the “Cannonball Run” movies) is the dean, Skridlow is nonetheless on shaky ground because the school can only survive if a magnanimous benefactor, Harmon Rausehorn (Andrew Duggan) is persuaded to make a donation.  Skridlow himself is assigned by his father to sweet talk Rausehorn and persuade him to follow through on his promise.

            Although he has misgivings about filling the role of DD, Skridlow is persuaded by SW’s four girls:  Monica (Donna Dixon), Thelma (Lynn Whitfield), Jasmine (Lydia Lei), and Karen (Fran Drescher).  Of course now he’s having far more fun in one night than he’s had in a lifetime; onscreen he gets drunk and heavily stoned, plus the implied offscreen sex with the four women.   In addition to the challenge of portraying a pimp/godfather face to face with Mom, Skridlow still has to schmooze Rausehorn, who remains mercifully patient throughout this whole affair.   Finally it will boil down to a climax where he has to bounce back and forth between competing engagements - and identities - in the same hotel.  

Both films have an undeniable 80’s flavor to them:  the 80’s finally asserting themselves as a new decade and no longer looking like the 70s [in “Night Shift”, look out for: Ron Howard as the subway sax player who pressures Chuck into donating, and Kevin Costner as a frat boy at a morgue party.]   The pimps were drawn into the business almost by default, and share the issue of concealing this unconventional profession from their straight-laced peers who might not understand.   And naturally – hate to spoil the surprise – but their issues wind up successfully resolved.

“And there was much rejoicing…”

Camel

No, not the animal, nor the cigarettes (though that does come in briefly), but the English progressive rock band from the early 70s.  Founding member Andrew Latimer (guitar) has continued the band to the present day, as the only remaining original member, but the “classic” era covers 4 albums.

Classic Lineup.   Andrew Latimer (guitar & vocals), Peter Bardens (keyboards & vocals) (those two look almost identical!), Doug Ferguson (bass), Andy Ward (drums).

Camel.  The self-titled first album.  Mostly it's similar to Mirage.  To the extent I can possibly distinguish it from the later material, it's a bit more jazzy and improvisational rather than proggy.   An extra track is "Homage to the God of Light", a live 19 minute jam session of Bardens' prior solo material.   In that regard, Camel share something in common with King Crimson: a prog band that's also a jam band, because neither the Grateful Dead nor Phish (top jam bands) can really be considered prog, and many prog bands - e.g. The Moody Blues or Pink Floyd - really aren't jam bands.  

Mirage.  The second album, so overtly copied from the cigarettes – “CAMEL” spelt out in the same font – it may as well be a cig pack smashed into a square.  In fact, the tobacco company sued them, but the band reached an arrangement – including distributing free cigarettes at the shows.  Of course, originally this was on vinyl, so it was a large square.  It actually sounds a bit like King Crimson.  Flute addition does more for a Lizard comparison than anything sounding like Jethro Tull.  KC sax player Mel Collins actually joined the band much later.

Music Inspired by the Snow Goose.   This is their most famous album.  The author of Snow Goose, Paul Gallico, wasn’t a fan of smoking, so he objected to this band making a concept album based on his novel.  It’s still a good album, but kind of boring in some parts.

Moonmadness.  After Snow Goose they went back to a regular “group of unrelated songs” album, no concept except perhaps the moon.  The top two songs on here are “Another Night” and “Lunar Seas”, but the overall consistency is much higher than Snow Goose.

After Moonmadness, Doug Ferguson left the band.  Two albums later, Peter Bardens left.  As mentioned earlier, Andrew Latimer is the only original member left.  Two from Caravan (Richard and David Sinclair) later joined the band.

The sound on the first four albums is proggy – Mikael Akerfeldt, the singer/guitarist of Opeth, mentions Camel as a major influence.  I can’t comment on the later albums, on which Latimer may have strayed on and off into commercial vs. prog territory.   The guitar and keyboards, of course, are the meat and potatoes.  Like Crimson and ELP, they have to be heard to be understood.