Exercise

Exercise.  I started exercising in high school and have been doing so ever since.  The form has varied over the years, and I’ve tweaked it from time to time.

 High School.  I went to the American School of Paris from from 1982-86.  I played rugby, which was our school’s equivalent of football.  And for all but senior year I had to take P.E. (Physical Education).  Somehow, I have no idea how, I managed to survive the school-wide cross-country marathon.  I preferred soccer, but played whatever sports were inflicted upon us in gym class, with rugby being the only official team sport I was involved with.  I really hated running or jogging.

            This was also the time I started some form of strength training.  The US Embassy in Paris had a small gym in the basement, near the printing shop.  I figured out some sort of routine and kept to it when I was working various summer jobs, but I don’t recall ever going to the Embassy expressly to use the gym.

 College.  My buddy Jean (John) was working for IBM on a summer job, and they had a gym there.   His trainer gave him a workout routine which he passed along to me.  I used that as a framework.  University of Maryland, College Park, had various gym facilities, the largest of which was the North Gym (which I called the Norse Gym).  I recall going there with my suitemate Chris a few times.

            I also started jogging.  I’d jog 10 laps around the concourse of the Cole Field House, where the Terps basketball team plays.  It’s roughly a quarter mile around, for a mile for 4 laps, I started out doing 4 laps, then up to 5, then two sets of 5 laps with a cooldown walking lap in between.

            Unfortunately, college was also a time at which I paid zero attention to nutrition and ate whatever I wanted.  Roy Rogers, McDonald’s, and lots of Domino’s Pizza, plus a constant supply of beer.  I look at pictures of myself from college and cringe at how fat I look.

 Post-College.  As soon as I graduated from college, and started going to law school (fall ’90 to spring ’93) I moved to Virginia and lived at a co-op complex in Rosslyn, River Place.  It had an “entertainment” center complex with broken-down hot tubs, ping pong table, sauna, and a gym.  There were two (2!) treadmills, of which one was almost always broken, meaning we had to sign up on a sheet to use the one remaining functioning treadmill.  Sometimes I’d get fed up and jog down by Key Bridge and along the GW Parkway, but when it snowed or was icy, that was OUT, so I couldn’t do that consistently.   As for the weight machines, at any given point about 1/3 of them were broken, and it took them forever to fix anything.  Since we had to pay for the gym with our condo fees, I get the impression that the gym management assumed it had no competition and little incentive to do anything right.  

            My parents lived in Gaithersburg, in Montgomery Village near Lake Whetstone.  Sometimes I would go there and jog from the house to the entrance of the subdivision and back, or – more scenically – simply jog around the lake.  This is certainly more interesting than a treadmill.

 Gold’s.  In fall 1999 I started dating Leila, who was a member of Gold’s.  I was also fed up with the River Place gym and decided to join.  The Rosslyn branch was 3 blocks away from where I lived.  They had 20 something treadmills and I never had to wait.  The exercise equipment was state of the art and almost never broken.  Morover, I could use any Gold’s, and was no longer limited to simply one gym location.  Leila lived in Fairlington Village, so we’d both go to the Bailey’s Crossroads Gold’s, which is now my main branch.

 Diet and Supplements.  Sometime after law school (’90-93) I finally decided to start eating right.  Unfortunately I found that dieting – usually during Lent – really didn’t have much of an impact.  I started taking Chroma-Slim, which worked fantastically – at first.  I went from 195 down to 160 over a course of two months.  Eventually, however, the supplement stopped working, and I went back up in weight.  I found ephedra-based supplements, such as Stacker, were effective, but they also made me very nervous, irritable, overly emotional, and it felt like my heart was going to explode.  Not good.  They eventually took the ephedra out, but none of the natural replacements have been effective.  As of this date, I know of no supplement which works, and that includes Ripped Fuel, Hydroxycut, Xenadrine, or any of the others at GNC.

            As for “diet”, that usually consists of abstaining from fast food (McDonald’s, pizza, Chipotle, etc.), beer, non-diet soft drinks, etc. and focusing on salads, cold cuts, etc.  I’ve started eating low-gluten pasta and low-sodium pasta sauce, replacing sodas with green tea, and eliminating sugar from the diet.  I can’t survive without some form of enjoyable food, but I scale it back in direct proportion to its toxicity: pizza once a week, at most, and Cinnabons once a year.  Quite apart from Lent, I dramatically scaled back my beer/cider consumption in 2009.  We’ll see how that works.

 Back Pain.  From ’96 to ’99 (I can’t remember the exact years) I took aikido classes, eventually earning a black belt.  Before every class we would stretch.  When I joined Gold’s in fall ‘99, I gave up the aikido classes – and gave up stretching.  In 1999 and 2000 I started having nasty back pain.  Eventually I went to a chiropractor (after I was working as a personal injury attorney) and he figured the back pain was probably because I wasn’t stretching before workouts.  I don’t know for certain, but I do know this: after I started stretching, I haven’t had back pain since. 

            By the way, the chiropractor was 100x better at fixing the back pain than the doctor.  The doctor simply diagnosed, “muscle spasm”, and prescribed Darvocet (pain-killer – almost completely ineffective except to take some edge off), Naproxen (anti-inflammatory), Flexeril (muscle relaxant), and Valium.  Of these, only Valium was any use – it removes 100% of your worries without making you loopy, i.e. you have 100% of your mental faculties intact.  This is why it is so addictive and popular.  The other three medications imply induce a “space cadet glow” without doing anything to get rid of the pain.  You simply no longer care.  The chiropractor cannot prescribe drugs – all he can do is various muscle stimulations and spine adjustments, but these are incredible; I sit up from the table with NO pain, and can think straight.  He gets my vote.

 Weightlifting.  I’m lifting far more now than I did when I was in college.  I’m usually focusing on the pectorals, deltoids, triceps and biceps.  I don’t do any workout, e.g. barbells, which require any partner to spot for me.  I haven’t had a workout partner since my law school buddy Bloss, who also lived at River Place.  Back at River Place my bench press with dumbbells was 50 lb., by now it’s up to 85 lb.  Other exercises have either been added or increased substantially in weight. 

 Abs.  I’ve added this in a few years ago, though omitting beer from the diet is probably far more effective than any ab exercise.  Imagine an "Abs of Steel" video where the instructor appears briefly, looks at the audience, tells them, "STOP DRINKING BEER!" and then leaves abruptly - thats it! A 5 second workout!  The secret to "six pack abs" is - no more six packs!

 Treadmill.  This is the main deal, 30 minutes on this horrible machine, at somewhere between 6.0 and 7.0 mph, depending on what shape I’m in.  More than anything else, this extended workout really breaks out a sweat.  Sometimes my kidneys hurt, sometimes my legs, but whatever it is, I just keep on going.

 Frequency.  I used to go 3 times a week – Monday, Wednesday, Friday, doing the full workout.  Then I staggered it to treadmill one day, strength the next, followed by a day off, repeat again.  Then I went back to the full workout each time, but every 3 days, but this didnt make much of a difference, so I had to increase it up to 3 times a week, which is now beginning to show more promise.  Even when I was unemployed, I was never going every day.  First off I wanted to give my body time off to recuperate.  Second, I didn’t want to “live” at the gym or become overdeveloped.  But third, I didn’t expect to be unemployed indefinitely, so I wasn’t going to establish a routine I couldn’t continue when I got a job. 

 Gold’s in Rio.  Yes, there is one – but it’s not part of the chain.  The owner started the gym in Copacabana (there is only one location) some time in the 70s, stealing the name.  The real Gold’s had no interest in expanding to Brazil and expressed no concern over this.  It is NOT air conditioned, which is a major issue in December and January (summer there).  I’ve noticed that Rio has two tiers of “academias” (athletic clubs) – the lower tier like Gold’s, sweaty (windows open, no A/C), grimy, antiquated machines and 20 year old treadmills (but they do work!) and an upper tier more like the Gold’s in the US, air-conditioned with aerobics classes, etc.  Brazilian women pay attention to their bodies, especially in Rio de Janeiro, where the beaches and bikinis are a major attraction.  Though I did see a fair amount of women who do not meet the standard, the standard IS very high, and the city does live up to its reputation.  The most tangible results can be seen during Carnival, when the dancers parade down the Sambodromo in almost nothing. 

 Results.  I’m still accused of having a gut, by some women.  Others focus on my derriere, with much appreciation.  I don’t know anyone who can’t tell that I exercise.  I will never be skinny, no matter how I try.  The best I can do is try to amplify my muscles and minimize my flab.  Inevitably there will be some difference of opinion as to how effective that is.