Friday, June 26, 2009

Formula Um!


I saw that Helio Castroneves, almost immediately after winning his tax case (acquitted of tax evasion) managed to win yet another Indy 500 race.  He had previously won in 2001 and 2002.  The Brazilian, from São Paulo, had been extremely competitive in IndyCar racing – and we know he can dance. 

 He’s not the only Brazilian associated with race car driving.
 Ayrton Senna.  Another one from São Paulo, probably Brazil’s most famous driver.  He died on the track in the 1994 San Marino Grand Prix.  He won three championships: 1988, 1990, and 1991.  He was popular not only for being a great driver, but also a nice guy.  It turns out his will left his huge fortune to children’s charities.  Whereas in the US we had “Elvis” sightings, in Rio de Janeiro, during his lifetime, there were plenty of “Ayrton” sightings.
 Nelson Piquet.  A carioca (from Rio de Janeiro).  Often considered a rival of Senna and Fittipaldi – or Nigel Mansell.  He never won the Indy 500.
 Emerson Fittipaldi.  Guess what – he’s from São Paolo.  He won the Indy 500 twice (1989 and 1993).
 Tony Kanaan.  From Salvador, Brazil, of Lebanese origin – but has never won the Indy 500.  Associated with Indy Racing League.
 Rubens Barrichello.  Also from São Paulo, and a protégé of Ayrton Senna.
 Gil de Ferran.  Won the Indy 500 in 2003, and then retired.  Born in Paris, France of Brazilian parents.

 At this point, it may be worth sorting through the different racing leagues to distinguish and explain them.
 Formula 1.  This is the top tier of open-wheel racing, using purpose-built race cars on tracks which turn left and right (not just in circles), which are called road courses.  It’s worldwide: the 2009 season will be 17 races around the world (sounds like “Speed Racer”) including Australia, Shanghai, Monaco, Istanbul, and São Paulo.  It began in 1950.  The top 4 teams have been from McLaren (part owned by Mercedes), Williams, Renault and Ferrari, with engines made by Mercedes, Honda, Renault and Ford.  Ferrari has been involved in every season and has the most titles; Michael Schumacher has been the most dominant driver in recent years.  The “minor leagues” are Formula 3, Formula Ford, Formula Renault, and GP2.  Although most of the races are held on purpose-built tracks, several take place in cities: Monaco (aka Monte Carlo), Melbourne, Valencia, and SingaporeIndia will have a Grand Prix in Delhi in 2010.  From 1950-60 the Indianapolis 500 was part of this series.  The cars run 2.4 liter V8s revving extremely high: 18-20,000 RPM, producing almost 800 horsepower, going up to 220 mph and cornering at 5 g’s.  Back before electronic fuel injection (EFI), these cars were running mechanical fuel injection.

 Indianapolis 500.  This is the Holy Grail (!) of Formula racing.  The track and race date from 1911, well before NASCAR or Formula 1 came around.  It’s so prestigious that both Americans and Europeans vie for the chance to race, and win there, and various lawsuits have flown back and forth about using the name. 
            Although the cars which race the Indy 500 are the same race cars of Formula 1 or CART/IRL, the pace car is a production car, which has been a Camaro (1967 and 1969) and a Trans Am, and often a Corvette.  In fact, the 1989 Trans Am pace car was the only Trans Am with a V6 – a turbo Buick V6 borrowed and modified from the Grand National.  This model was so fast, it outran the V8 models and did not need to be modified from street to track to do its job. 

 CART (Championship Auto Racing Teams).  This was formed in 1979 as an American equivalent of Formula 1, both to race in the United States – including the Indianapolis 500 – and to include American drivers.  Starting in 1905, the first sanctioning body for auto racing in the US was AAA -  yes, the same American Automobile Association that gives you clever maps and tows your car when you break down.  After 1955, AAA got out of the racing sanctioning business and turned to more mundane pursuits which concern the rest of us, leaving the sanctioning to the US Automobile Club (USAC).  But many people were less than impressed with the job USAC was doing, so they formed CART instead. Like Formula 1, this series uses purpose-built race chassis with low displacement, high-revving V8s putting out something in the neighborhood of 700-800 HP.

 IRL (Indy Racing League).  This was started in 1994, as a spinoff and rival to CART.  The Indianapolis 500 is the focus race, and this acts as an American equivalent of Formula 1, although foreign teams do enjoy competing at the Indy 500 race.  Ironically, although it acted as a competitor to CART (see above), by now CART has gone bankrupt and eaten up by IRL.  This was originally ovals-only courses, then added road course races – Watkins Glen, Infineon and St. Petersburg

 NASCAR.  This was began in the late 40s by Bill France, and originated from the races on Daytona Beach, which were the earliest land speed races before the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah became popular from 1936 onward.  Much of NASCAR’s origin and heritage came from Prohibition era bootleggers who modified their cars both to handle heavy loads of illicit alcohol and to evade the slower cars of the local police, particularly in Wilkes County, North Carolina.  Eventually the bootleggers started racing each other in local races, and it simply became a matter of institutionalizing these, starting with Daytona.
            Oddly, NASCAR’s premier race, the Daytona 500, takes place early in the season.  The top tier is Sprint Cup, followed by Nationwide (2nd Tier) and the Craftsman Truck series.  With a few exceptions, all the NASCAR Sprint Cup races are ovals, and most of the drivers are white males from south of the Mason-Dixon line, mostly from North Carolina.  There is no Shirley Muldowney (NHRA) or Danica Patrick (IRL – though there is speculation she will move to NASCAR or Formula 1 next season) to liven things up.  Unlike Formula 1 and IRL/CART, the cars are based on US production cars, Chevy, Ford and Mopar (except the Toyota Camry, a recent update) even if the cars themselves bear little resemblance, aside from name and shape, to actual street cars. The engines are 355 cubic inch V8s with carburetors.  On certain races on the circuit, restrictor plates are mandated between the carburetor and intake manifold to artificially reduce horsepower and slow the cars down.  With the exception of Infineon (Sonoma, CA) and Watkins Glen (NY), which are road courses, the 36 races are on oval tracks.
            The cars in NASCAR started out as production cars, but eventually developed into purpose built race cars with really only the shell of the car in common with the street versions.  Three Mopar production vehicles have NASCAR origins, however.  The Dodge Charger 500 replaced the recessed grill and rear window with versions flush with the body for improved aerodynamics, but this was not enough, leading to the Charger Daytona, with its beak and high spoiler (to clear the trunk decklid).  With these changes, the car could finally break the 200 mph mark; observers said the car sounded like a jet going around the track.  And Plymouth copied the Daytona with the Superbird, based on the Road Runner – complete with a decal on the side of the spoiler showing the Road Runner with a racing helmet.
            Years ago, the body shop near the law office I used to work at, in Falls Church, had an orange Dodge Daytona (or maybe it was a Superbird).  The hood was open, so I stood there admiring the 440 cubic inch V8, though recognizing immediately that it wasn’t the famous 426 Hemi engine.  A body shop guy walked up to me, and as if reading my mind, remarked, “shame it ain’t a Hemi, huh?”    

 NHRA (National Hot Rod Association).  This is drag racing – straight line acceleration on a quarter mile strip.  It was started in 1953 by Wally Parks as a way to get racing off the streets and onto sanctioned drag strips, often times former airstrips.  The top tiers are Top Fuel (dragsters), Funny Car, and Pro Stock.  Top Fuel dragsters run nitromethane, superchargers, open headers (zoomies), and typically finish the quarter mile in less than 4 seconds at over 300 miles per hour (the record is 330 mph).  The times for Funny Car are a little over 4 seconds and a little less than 300 mph, and Pro Stock at 6.5 seconds at over 200 mph.
            At the grass roots level is bracket racing, in which the cars do not compete “heads up” (both leaving at the same time) but have staggered starting times depending on the dial-in (estimated ET) of the two cars, so theoretically a 18 second Neon could beat a 12 second Camaro.  What I love about it is that you can race street cars, possibly your minivan or station wagon (!) although only race cars and dragsters are competitive in the top classes, and faster cars are more fun than slower cars.  I’ve brought my Formula to 75/80 various times from 1996-98, mostly low 14 second times from 95-98 mph.  Since the strips are quarter mile, the times correspond and compare, apples to apples, to the professional times, which is a nice touch. 
            While the NASCAR crowd loves to boo and hiss about the various racers, especially Jeff Gordon, I think the NHRA scene is more colorful.  Not only Shirley Muldowney, but also Don Garlits, John Force (whose daughter Ashley races), Connie Kalitta, Don “The Snake” Prudhomme, Jungle Jim Lieberman (and Jungle Pam…schwing!), among others.  “Heart Like A Wheel”, the Shirley Muldowney story (with the babacious Bonnie Bedelia as Muldowney) was an excellent view of this scene in the 70s and 80s.      

 IROC (International Race of Champions).  The idea here was, give every driver exactly the same car, so the better driver wins, so no whining about who had a better car, engine, stereo, etc.  Most of the winners were NASCAR drivers, but some open wheel drivers such as Mario Andretti and Helio Castroneves have competed as well.  The cars were Porsche Carreras (1974), Chevrolet Camaro (1975-80, 1984-89) (resulting in the Z/28 IROC), Dodge Daytona (1990-93), Dodge Avenger (1994-95) and Pontiac Trans Am (1996).  The races were from 1974 to 2006, with no races in 1981-83.  IROC is currently out of business. 

 SCCA/Trans Am.  These were races in road courses using cars which were very close to production models you could actually buy from the dealer. This was considerably more popular in the late 60s and early 70s than it is now. 
            It was so popular that several US production vehicles bear the name or some connection:
            1)         The most obvious is the Pontiac Trans Am, available from 1969 to 2002.  This was in continuous production for that time, and pretty much saved Pontiac’s ass in the late 70s.  More so than the GTO, the Trans Am essentially became the flagship for Pontiac.  Ironically, the 1969 Trans Am did not qualify for the race, as it had the 400 cubic inch V8s Pontiac was equipping its performance models with.  Plans for a qualifying 303 cubic inch V8 didn’t pan out.
            2)         Less obvious, but still having a connection, was the Camaro Z/28, which in its original years, from 1967-69, had a 302 cubic inch V8 with two Holley 4 barrels, 290 HP, revving so high that 7500 RPM was considered the optimal shift point – and only available with a 4 speed manual and no A/C.  The 302 was in order to meet Trans Am specs when its “brother”, the Camaro SS, was available with the much larger and street-friendly 350 and 396 V8s. 
            3)         Ford’s Mustang Boss 302 was Ford’s answer – not to be confused with the Boss 429 (a hemi big block), or the top street engine, the 428 Cobra Jet.
            4)         Mopar had the Dodge Challenger T/A and Plymouth AAR ‘Cuda, set up for handling as opposed to simply straight line acceleration.  
            5)         Even AMC had a Mark Donohoe Javelin. 
            Oddly, due to the different classes, there are classes where Mazda Miatas and Dodge/Plymouth Neons are competitive.  By now, though, as with most other motorsports, the cars which actually race in SCCA are specifically built to race and are not street legal.

Friday, June 19, 2009

The Franco-Prussian War (1870-71)


[Note:  updated on 3/20/20 and 4/2/21.]

Ready for another installment of “obscure wars no one cares about”?  Let’s go backwards!  There are plenty of WWII veterans still around, and WWII was largely caused by…WWI!  I’ve reviewed WWI at length.  I would imagine that, had someone paid attention to Bismarck and not taken Alsace-Lorraine from the French, odds are that WWI is much less likely to have happened, which makes WWII that much less likely too.  And since taking Alsace-Lorraine was part of this wrap-up of this war, it means that to some extent it actually does have some very remote relevance in the present day, insofar as anyone still cares about WWII.  Anyhow.

 Years ago I was in the train station of St. Lazare, in Paris, and noticed a curious memorial, which referred to World War I as the “Second Franco-Prussian War”, and World War II as the “Third Franco-Prussian War”.  WTF?  And lo and behold, it referred to this as the FIRST “Franco-Prussian War”.  Remarkably, the last French veteran, Seraphin Pruvost, died in 1955, and the last German veteran, Karl Glockner, died in 1953 – both living to see both WWI and WWII.  

 BackgroundFrance at this time was led by Napoleon III, aka Louis Napoleon, the son of Napoleon Bonaparte's older brother (i.e. his nephew), with most of his ambition but little of his talent.  Germany had not quite unified, but was rather a loose confederation of states dominated by Prussia.  Its effective leader was Chancellor Otto von Bismarck, an extremely shrewd statesman.  Ironically, Bismarck had little use for German nationalism, this idea that Germany should be unified.  What he preferred, and what he actually brought into being, was simply Prussia taking over the rest of Germany
            Aside from Prussia, the other German states were Baden, Bavaria, Brunswick, Hesse-Darmstadt, Mecklenburg, Saxony, and Wurttemberg.  Each of the others had its own army and uniforms, some appearing distinctly different than the Prussian uniform; and the leaders of these states likewise varied from eager to reluctant allies (some had even tried to weasel deals through back channels with the French).
            Bismarck orchestrated a series of nonaggression treaties with various different countries.  They basically said that these other countries would remain neutral if Prussia ended up in a war with a third country, provided Prussia was not the aggressor.  Then he tricked Denmark (1864), then Austria (1866), then France (1870) into attacking Prussia.  Deprived of allies, each of these countries was decisively defeated in turn by the upstart Prussians.  The war against Austria was definitely a David vs. Goliath contest.

 War.  At the eastern frontier of France, a series of battles took place: Wissembourg (August 4, 1870), Spicheren (August 5), Wörth (August 6), Marnes-la-Tour (August 16), Gravelotte (August 18), and Sedan (September 1) in which the French armies were repeatedly outmaneuvered.  The excellent French chassepot rifle, though superior to the Prussian Dreyse (“needle gun”) design, could not compensate for the Prussians’ massive Krupp artillery.  Metz was encircled and besieged; at the defeat at Sedan, 104,000 French soldiers were captured, along with Napoleon III himself.

 Siege of Paris.  Having defeated the French Army at Sedan in September, the Prussians proceeded to besiege Paris, avoiding a street war, beginning September 19.  Various attempts to relieve Paris by substantial leftover forces marshaled by the French Republic – one army totaled 500,000 soldiers - were ultimately unsuccessful.  On January 28, 1871, the French finally surrendered, and the Prussians occupied Paris for all of…48 hours.  Then they withdrew to the outskirts of the city.

 Hall of Mirrors.  January 18, 1871, Germany was unified under Kaiser (Emperor) Wilhelm I of Prussia, in the Hall of Mirrors at the French royal palace at Versailles.  Of course, the country ended up being truncated after WWI (1919), the treaty also being signed at the same Hall of Mirrors, losing substantial territory to Poland; and then after WWII when Poland was shifted west.  One of the conditions on the re-unification of Germany – West + East – was that any claims on territory now owned by Poland, were waived.  Also, Austria was not part of this unification, though Austria was finally annexed by Nazi Germany in 1938.

 Paris Commune.  I’ve already covered this in my much earlier blog, “Paris Is Burning”.  It lasted from March to May 1871, at which point French government forces coming back from a brief rehabilitative exile in Versailles re-entered the city from the southwest and gradually subdued the National Guard and Communist forces.  The city, having been spared violence and war due to the Prussians’ siege and brief occupation, now suffered street fighting and fires as a result of this brief, urban civil war – the French themselves inflicted far more pain and damage on Paris than the Prussians did.

 Alsace-Lorraine.  These are the two provinces of France which border on Germany to the far east.  Due to the crossover effect, people from this area have an identity crisis.  Are we French?  Are we German?  In Forgotten Soldier, a Franco-German soldier, Guy Sajer, describes fellow German soldiers in WWII dismissing him as “an Alsatian who thinks he’s German” – he speaks better French than German, and speaks German with a French accent.  These provinces are also heavy in coal and iron, and were a prize the Germans could not resist taking from the French, despite Bismarck’s advice to leave it alone – for that exact reason.  Sure enough, just as Bismarck warned, the French burned with passion for revenge over the next 44 years, not only to avenge their shame of 1871, but also to retake these two provinces.  And so we got… World War I.

Uniforms.  Fairly similar to early WWI.  The French wore kepis, dark blue double breasted coats, and red pants.  The "Prussian" side varied, as each nominally independent entity had its own army wearing its own uniforms.  The Prussian uniform resembled the 1914 German uniform except that the jacket was dark blue instead of field grey.  The pickelhaube (leather spiked helmet) was here, albeit with an early tall version and a later short version, the latter we're familiar with from WWI.  

 Books.  I’m not aware of any movies made about this war, but there are two excellent books.  The Fall of France, by Alistair Horne, covers not only the leadup to the war (starting the “story” in 1867), but also the Paris Commune.  And a historical fiction novel by Robert Chambers, Romance in the Red Republic, written in 1895, tells the story of fictional characters who were on the government (anti-communist) side, although during the Paris Commune and not the war.   

April & the Extraordinary World.  This is a recent French steampunk animated movie (2015, well after this blog was originally written in 2009).  In this story, immediately before the war would have begun, Napoleon III dies suddenly, his son resolves matters with the Prussians amicably, and there is no Franco-Prussian War.  This means there is also no WWI and no WWII, and no Nazi Germany.  I'd recommend the movie in and of itself, but this is about the extent of the relevance thereof to the current topic.

Pigeon Post.  Carrier pigeons are remarkably reliable and effective as messengers, in this context allowing Paris to communicate with the rest of France during the four month siege of the city by the Prussians (late September 1870 through late January 1871), who had cut all the telegraph lines in and out of the city.  The lessons learned resulted in pigeons used later (e.g. WWI) but the Franco-Prussian War was the major conflict in which they were employed.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Minnesota Vikings


This is my favorite NFL team, despite the fact that I’m not from Minnesota and have never even been there.  I started liking the team in the 70s, a time at which I was growing up in the US and too young to appreciate anything more substantial than purple uniforms, cool helmets, Fran Tarkenton and 4 (lost) Super Bowls. 

 Origins.  The team was formed in Minnesota in 1961, as part of the NFL’s expansion at that time, and took Vikings as the mascot due to the high number of Scandinavian immigrants to that part of the country.  In 1970 the team was aligned in NFC Central Division.

 Fortunes.  The team made it to the Super Bowl 4 times, and lost all 4 times.  In 1969 they lost to the Kansas City Chiefs (23-7); in 1973 to the Dolphins (24-7); in 1975 to the Steelers (16-6), and finally the Raiders in 1978 (32-14).  Joe Capp was the quarterback in 1969 (Tarkenton was with the Giants at that time), while Tarkenton was present for the remaining three losses.  Nevertheless, they dominated the division during this decade.
            Since the 70s, they have reached the NFC Championship several times, but never won.  In 1998, despite a 15-1 record in the regular season, they choked, giving up the game at the end to the Atlanta Falcons, and in 2000 were crushed by the New York Giants, 41-0, despite being favored to win.
            The team is usually competitive in the running to either win the division or get a wildcard slot, but generally tending to lose in the first or second round of the playoffs.  Again, 2000 was the last NFC Championship appearance. 
 ** Aside for NON-NFL readers.  The Super Bowl is between the NFC Champion vs. the AFC Champion.  The AFC approximates the former AFL (American Football League), which merged with the NFL in 1970.  After 16 games of the regular season, 6 teams from each Conference enter the playoffs: the 4 division champions (North, South, East and West), and then the 2 teams remaining with the best records are the wildcard teams.  Each playoff game is “win or go home” – no aggregates (home & away) as often happens in soccer, nor “best of 7” series like baseball, basketball or hockey.  In soccer standings, a team gets 3 points for a victory and one point for a tie, as ties are not only common (including 0-0 ties) but also give the team a point.  Ties are almost nonexistent in the NFL.  

 Uniform.  The home uniform is purple with yellow stripes (unlike soccer, where we have Real Madrid, Santos, and Tottenham with white home jerseys, no NFL team has a white home jersey – except for the 1964 season when the white jerseys were the home jerseys) and white away jersey with the stripes on the shoulders.  The throwbacks uniform has the 70s style stripes.  The helmet is purple with “horn” decals on the side.  Compared to many other teams, especially the Broncos, Bucs, and Patriots, the Vikings uniform has remained fairly constant, and the current helmet is – in style if not in construction – almost identical to the original 1961 helmet.  The team is far too new to have ever played with the leather helmets or sweater-type jerseys of the older teams.

 Stadium.  Originally they played outdoors in Metropolitan Stadium, until they moved into the Metrodome in 1982.  As it is, the Bears and Packers play outdoors (Soldier Field and Lambeau Stadium) whereas the Lions (Ford Field) and Vikings play indoors.

 Rivals.  Up until the realignment in 2001, the Vikings were in NFC Central with the Green Bay Packers, Chicago Bears, Detroit Lions and Tampa Bay Buccaneers.  Since 2002 the NFL now has 32 teams, and is aligned into 4 divisions with 4 teams each, changing what had been Central to North, pushing the Bucs out and leaving the Packers, Bears and Lions as consistent rivals.  I tend to think of the Packers as the biggest rivals, but the Bears and Lions also qualify.  On the other hand, of the 4 teams, the Vikings are by far the youngest. 
            The Packers were founded in 1919 by Curly Lambeau.  The Packers have 9 pre-Super Bowl NFL Championships and won the Super Bowl three times, not only in the late 60s with Bart Starr at QB and Vince Lombardi as coach (’67 and ’68), but more recently with Brett Favre at QB and Mike Holmgren as coach (’97). 
            The Chicago Bears, along with the Arizona Cardinals (originally from Chicago), are one of the few remaining original NFL teams from the league’s formation in 1921.  They have 8 NFL Championships before the Super Bowl era, and beat the Patriots in 1985 in Super Bowl XX – back when Jim McMahon was the QB and Ditka the coach – and lost recently, with Rex Grossman at QB and Lovie Smith as coach, to the Colts. 
            Originally from Portsmouth, Ohio, and called the Spartans, the Detroit Lions moved to Detroit in 1934 and became the Lions. The Lions have never been to the Super Bowl.  They have only been to the playoffs 9 times since 1957, the year they last won an NFL championship.  After an abysmal NFL record 0-16 season, it doesn’t look too good for them this season either.

 Players.  Fran Tarkenton is by far my favorite, quarterback #10 from 1961-66 and 72-78.  I even have a Vikings jersey with his name and number, which I bought ages before the Beckham and Ronaldo jerseys.  During the 70s, the defensive line of Carl Eller, Jim Marshall, and Alan Page were notorious.  More recently, John Randle was a heavy duty lineman.  Cris Carter and Randy Moss were stellar wide receivers.  I liked Gus Frerotte, was not impressed with Tavaris Jackson, and was hoping that Brett Favre would sign on.  The #1 washout was Herschel Walker, obtained from the Cowboys at heinous expense (giving the Cowboys a lock on the Super Bowl for several seasons) and then hardly ever used.  They’ve had Warren Moon (who I associate with the Houston Oilers) and Jim McMahon (#9 with the Bears) at QB slot for brief times.  Brad Johnson, who won the Super Bowl with the Bucs, started and ended with the Vikings.

 Coach.  The current coach is Brad Childress.  The original coach was Norm Van Brocklin, who was eventually replaced by Bud Grant in 1969.  More recently Dennis Green brought the team to the playoffs several seasons, but could never quite manage to get them to the Super Bowl. 

 Outlook.  They still have Adrian Peterson, the fantastic running back.  At quarterback it seems to be a toss-up between recently acquired Sage Rosenfels and prior starter Tavaris Jackson – assuming Brett Favre doesn’t sign up at the last moment.  The Vikings always appear to underachieve, never quite matching their potential considering that the team usually has consistently strong players; unfortunately, the whole appears to be less than the sum of its parts.  I can only hope this season will be different.  At least we’re not the Lions!

Friday, June 5, 2009

World War I


I’ve never been in the military, or any war, but I’m fascinated by them anyway, particularly the US Civil War, World War I, and World War II.  I’m not aware that I have any relatives who fought in the Civil War, as ¾ of my family came from Poland around the turn of the century, and my uncle tells me that our ancestor in Brooklyn was in the fire dept (FDNY – protecting the city from the scourge of Confederate terrorists!) and exempt from service.  I’m also not aware of any relatives who fought in Vietnam.  I have several uncles who fought in WWII (my father was too young) and Korea.  And my mom’s dad did fight in World War I, in the US Army.  We have a picture of him in the “campaign hat” which was replaced in the trenches by the flat helmet we shared with the British.

 This is one of the strangest wars – far stranger than WWII.  Artillery blowing men into bits.  Puttees.  Biplanes, poison gas, and bizarre shaped, primitive tanks.  Of course any original footage of the war is in grainy black & white (while there is plenty of color footage of WWII) and the herky-jerky timing with everyone walking way too fast.  There had been wars between the Civil War and WWI: the Franco-Prussian War (1870-71), the Spanish-American War (1898), the Boer War (1900-03), the Russo-Japanese War (1905), two Balkans Wars (1912-13).  But this was a twisted mix of primitive and modern war.  The major weapons which were perfected in WWII – planes & tanks – were invented and introduced, in crude form, in this war.

 Background.  In 1914, Europe was spoiling for a fight.  France wanted Alsace-Lorraine back from the Germans, and had their Plan XVII (what happened to Plans I-XVI?) to retake that territory lost during the Franco-Prussian War (1870-71), complete with lots of maps of Germany and no maps of France.  Germany wanted to take out France with a large swing around west of Paris, and come back and smash the French in Alsace-Lorraine, then dash off to the east to fend off the Russians – the so-called “Schlieffen Plan”, which assumed that the Belgians, whose country was inconveniently in between Germany and France, would simply step aside and let the Germans pass through (“you don’t mind, do you?” “No, of course, go right ahead.”). 
            As we well know, the whole thing was triggered, so to speak, when a Serbian, Gavrilo Princip, assassinated the Austrian Archduke Franz Ferdinand (no relation to the band) in Sarajevo in June 1914.  After this, a chain reaction of ultimatums and mobilizations pulled Austria-Hungary, Germany, Russia, and France into war together, with England sitting it out initially until Belgium’s neutrality was violated.  Italy also declined to get involved with her allies Germany and Austria-Hungary, instead entering the war on the Allied side in 1915.  Remarkably, Princip was not executed for his crime, as he was under 18 when it occurred and Austria-Hungary had a law against executing minors, and they didn’t make an exception for his case.  Amazing: he killed the heir to the throne, and he’s simply locked up in jail.  He lived to see the war escalate, and died in jail of tuberculosis in 1918. 
            Of course, nothing ever goes according to plan.  First the Belgians decided to resist after all (as hopeless as it may have been – “resistance is futile!”).  Then the Russians mobilized a little too fast, forcing the Germans to switch forces east, leaving them not enough to go west of Paris, so von Moltke, the German commander, adlibbed Schlieffen’s plan (he had died in 1905) and passed by to the east of Paris.  For their part, the French couldn’t seem to break through the German lines defending Alsace-Lorraine, but a few of their more “think outside the Plan XVII” officers were noting large German formations going westwards through Belgium and wondering if maybe someone should start paying attention there – and were told to SHUT UP because…it wasn’t part of the Plan!  Ultimately, though, Gallieni mobilized the taxi cabs of Paris to ferry forces to the front, smashing into the German flank at the Marne, and they fell back to the Aisne.  Then both sides raced to the sea, setting up trenches from Switzerland to the English Channel.  And the slaughter really began.

 Trenches.  These were mainly on the Western Front, which was the major theater of the war.  Common ingredients: firebays, traverses, zigzags, communication trenches, dugouts, latrines, firesteps, lice, rats, trench raids, half-buried rotting corpses, lots of mud, etc.  French trenches were often designed a little shabbier than British, while the Germans tended to overengineer theirs (the BMW Trench! New 1916 Model!).  The cratered, barbed-wire infested, corpse ridden killing zone in between the two lines, where machine guns consistently mowed down both side’s armies in droves, was No Man’s Land.

 Puttees.  For some reason, these were prevalent in this war, and almost nonexistent before and after.  Hardly anything else epitomizes the typical WWI uniform than puttees.  These are the spiral leggings from the ankle up to below the knee.  Not only British and French, but also American forces traded their canvas leggings in for these.  Even the Germans, known for their jackboots, used them.  I never figured out what the deal was with these.

 Helmets.  In 1914, every nation went to war with some form of cloth hat for head protection.  The Germans had their unique pickelhaubes (spiked helmets – but of leather, not steel)(bottom right), the French had kepis, and the Brits, Japanese, and Russians had peaked caps (see “Legends of the Fall” for the early British uniform).  Someone figured out that these things weren’t the best to keep shell fragments and bullets from shredding the human head, so by 1916 most of the nations had introduced steel helmets.  The Germans had a larger, goofier version of the helmet they used in WWII, with two large lugs like Frankenstein (bottom left); the British and Americans used a flat helmet (see “Braveheart”)(top and middle rows, second from right) of medieval origin, and the French came out with the “Adrian” helmet, which I can’t stand.  Also, the French went from navy blue greatcoats with bright red pants (which dates back to 1867) (middle row, far left), to “horizon blue” uniforms which were much more practical – though aesthetically, I prefer the 1914 uniform.

 Machine Guns.  Whether it be the German Spandaus, the British Vickers and Lewis guns (which the Germans liked so much, they converted captured models to fire the 8mm Mauser round), or the French Hotchkiss models, these proved to be more than capable of reducing human waves of attacking forces into little more than another class of corpses.  See also, Artillery.

 Artillery.  Excellent for turning the countryside into a desolate moonscape, and blowing men of any nationality into oblivion.  The barrages would drive men crazy with despair, those it didn’t obliterate.  But ironically, despite week long artillery attacks, after which it was assumed no one from the other side would be left alive, somehow enough forces had either pulled back, or successfully sought shelter in dugouts (often reinforced with concrete and immune to even direct hits) that more than enough survivors could come out of the ground, man the machine guns, and turn the oncoming attack into yet another wave of dead bodies.  By the end of the war, armies were experimenting with “creeping barrages” which screened in front of the attacking forces, forcing the defenders – in theory – to keep their heads down.  But even these didn’t work too well.

 Poison Gas.  Chlorine, phosgene, and mustard gas were the main ones used, not only by the Germans, who started this mess, but also the Allies.  Of course, the reaction to gas – the gas masks – were equally bizarre.  The German masks look like what we think of as gas masks, with eye pieces and a canister (e.g. the animated denizens from “Pink Floyd the Wall”), whereas the French M2 mask, surprisingly effective, was simply a bag with two eye pieces and a small mouthpiece, again evoking piglike children from “Pink Floyd The Wall”; (see middle row, second from right, being used by US troops).  Although gas has been used since WWI, no war is as closely associated with it as this one.

 Tanks.  The Brits started with their own, bizarre rhomboid tanks with the treads going all the way around (Marks I-V), introduced at the Battle of the Somme in 1916 (see above, far right corner).  The French Renault model was smaller and had a turret (the US used these), whereas Germany’s only tank, the A7V, was a monster box monstrosity (middle row, far right – with the skull & crossbones, it looks like the Delta Tau Chi float from “Animal House”).  The Germans also captured substantial numbers of British tanks, trained on them, and turned them around to make up the majority of their own tank force, such as it was.  All the tanks were slow and lumbering, frequently breaking down.  Only by the end did the Allies have enough to make a difference, but even there, tank tactics left much to be desired – as Liddell-Hart and Guderian soon decided.

 Biplanes.  It’s not WWI without the knights of the air, including Germany’s Red Baron and their colorful Flying Circus (from which Monty Python got their name).  Black? Red? Green? Purple?  Great colors for planes.  And I love the Maltese crosses on the planes.  The Brits had their Sopwith Camel (w/o Snoopy), the French had Spads & Nieuports, but I love the German Albatros the most.

 Major Battles.  Tannenberg was the major German victory on the Eastern Front, with Brusilov’s offensive the only victory for the Russians there.  On the Western Front, the battles of Verdun and the Somme, both in 1916, were the most important. 
            Verdun was a fortress town in Eastern France, the pride of France, site of forts Douamont and Vaux.  Douamont, the largest, was captured by a German sergeant who found it mostly empty, as the garrison had been severely depleted to go fighting outside.  Vaux was captured after its garrison was reduced to drinking its own urine out of severe thirst.  But the German plan to bleed France white defending the area backfired, as the Germans ended up losing almost as many troops themselves in the process.
            The Somme battle was England’s attempt to take the heat off the French at Verdun by distracting the Germans, and their chance to debut their new tanks, wasted away piecemeal fashion.  Moreover, the weeklong artillery barrage not only didn’t wipe out the Germans, sufficient Germans survived to mow down 60,000 British soldiers, and 20,000 on the first day alone – the bloodiest day in British military history.  Both battles simply killed thousands of soldiers yet provided no strategic benefit to anyone. 

 In The Navy.  Despite competing with the Royal Navy in the years leading up the war, the German surface fleet really didn’t do much, fighting one inconclusive sea battle at Jutland in 1916, then retreating into its own ports for the remainder of the war.  The German U-Boat fleet, however, began making its historic record, in an almost (emphasis on “almost”) successful attempt to starve out Britain from much-needed supplies. Yet sinking the Lusitania in 1915 backfired, pushing much public opinion in otherwise neutral America against the Germans.  For its part, the Royal Navy’s blockade of Germany was far more effective.

 Eastern Front.  This was much more fluid due to the more open spaces in Poland and Ukraine.  The Austrians didn’t do much except compete with the Russians for incompetence.  The Germans were led by the killer twin team of Ludendorff & Hindenburg, whereas the Russians only had Brusilov of any value – Rennenkampf and Samsonov hated each other, and their dispute allowed L&H to defeat them at Tannenberg.  When Brusilov actually spanked the Germans in 1916 – the only victory of the Russians – the Romanians hopped in the war on the Allied side, only to be thoroughly spanked in turn by the Germans, who then walked into Bucharest.  In February 1917, Kerenksy took over in Russia, but continued the war [note: Kerensky survived not only the later revolution, but outlived Trostky, Lenin, and Stalin, and died in 1970!].  The Germans helpfully smuggled Lenin into St Petersburg, where he bumped Russia into its second – Bolshevik – revolution in late 1917.  Lenin signed the Treaty of Brest-Litovsk, and Germany actually WON the Eastern Front war in World War I.  This allowed them to move forces west in 1918 for a spring offensive…just in time to meet the Americans.

 Middle East.  I covered this in the “Al Aurens” blog entry about T.E. Lawrence, aka “Lawrence of Arabia”. 

 Africa.  The Germans had Cameroon, south-west Africa (now known as Namibia), and Tanzania.  The first two were easily captured by Allied forces, but in the latter, a brilliant German general, Von Lettow-Vorbeck (above in slouch hat), waged a guerilla war against the Brits and remained undefeated until the Armistice.  In “The Young Indiana Jones”, the young Indiana Jones bumps up against him several times.  (Yes, it’s just a TV show.)

 Asia.  Oddly, in WWI the Japanese were on the Allied side, and fought against Germany.  Basically this consisted of the Japanese divesting the Germans of their colonies in China (e.g. Tsingtao, as in the beer – the artillery attack is shown above in the bottom row, second from left) and the Bismarck Islands.  The Germans had their hands full in Europe and weren’t really in a position to defend these farflung possessions.

 US.  The US entered in 1917, but troops didn’t end up fighting until 1918.  Unlike WWII, where the Americans came fully equipped and ended up supplying practically everyone else on the Allied side – including the Russians – with weapons and equipment, and completely equipping the Free French Army, in WWI the Americans were “hey, can I bum this off you?” with helmets from the British, machine guns, tanks, and artillery from the French, and pretty much simply provided warm bodies and aggressive soldiers who weren’t worn out by years of fighting and were eager to tear the Huns a new asshole.  In the movie “The Lost Battalion”, a German junior officer complains to his captain, “these Americans don’t retreat when they’re supposed to!”, to which the jaded German captain simply replies, “how inconsiderate of them.”  The Springfield rifle, with its action copied from Mauser, was less common than the Enfield.  The Chauchat machine gun, borrowed from the French, turned out to be incorrectly adapted to the .30-06 cartridge, and was more reliable in its original 8mm Lebel caliber.  The Browning Automatic Rifle (BAR) made its debut late in the war.  US troops traded their campaign hats for British style helmets, and their canvas leggings for puttees.  US soldiers stationed next to British troops used Lee-Enfield rifles.  Black US soldiers were often issued Adrian helmets and French rifles and equipment, and fought under white officers.  US forces also fought in Italy.  The North Russian Expeditionary Force, sent to make sure Allied material didn’t fall into the hands of the Bolsheviks, used Mosin-Nagant rifles and Vickers machine guns. 

 Books.  My favorite, of course, is All Quiet on the Western Front, though translated into English from Am Westen Nichts Neues.  The war also inspired tons of poetry -  and Lord of the Rings, by Tolkien, who served as an infantry officer in the British Army during the war.  The Guns of August, by Barbara Tuchman, is an excellent review of the opening chapter of the war, before the Race to the Sea and trench warfare began.

 Movies.  By far the best WWI movie is “All Quiet on the Western Front”, the 1931 B&W version.   For some reason, color movies of WWI, e.g. “The Lost Battalion” or the 1970s version of AQotWF, don’t seem to really fit the war that well.  Although it’s in black & white, I can’t recommend the Sgt. York movie with Gary Cooper in the lead role, as 80% of the movie is his background in the US and only the last tail end of the movie actually takes place in the military, or even over in France.  “The Fighting 69th” has James Cagney.  “Wings” was probably the best WWI biplane film, though I did like “Flyboys.”  I already reviewed “Joyeux Noel”, the movie which covered the Christmas Truce of WWI.
 Perhaps the idea sum up here is to pull back into a reference from the Python blog two weeks ago: “12 Monkeys”.  There was a brief scene in the movie where Bruce Willis’ character, who is traveling through time in an effort to save humanity from a virus which wiped out the majority of the population, accidentally winds up in a French trench during the middle of a battle during WWI.  The French are wearing gas masks and all hell is breaking loose, and WHOOSH, Bruce Willis comes from out of nowhere, freaked out and disoriented, and for his part freaking out the French as well (“who is this guy?? Where did he come from?  Is he German??”) and finally he’s whisked out, only to find out later he has a German Mauser bullet lodged in him somewhere.  WHOA….