Iron Mike and Uncle Joe

I’ve been reading another book about Josef Stalin (“In the Court of the Red Tsar”, by Simon Sebag Montefiore, but the title sounds like “Crimson King” to me) and he bears an uncanny resemblance to the former coach of the Chicago Bears, Mike Ditka.  They both have abundant heads of hair (much to George Contanza’s envy) and full mustaches – and are the men of Iron and Steel.  And the “national animal”, the mascot of Russia is…the Bear!  Coincidence?

 Mike Ditka.  Born October 18, 1939 in Pennsylvania.  He played in the NFL from 1961 to 1972 with the Bears (’61-66), Eagles (’67-68) and Cowboys (‘69-72) – and was on the Cowboys team that won the Super Bowl in 1971.  More recently he was the coach of the Saints from 1997-1999, well before Sean Peyton brought them glory this season.  He was sacked as the Saints coach, then appeared in an “early retirement” Super Bowl commercial immediately thereafter.  Nice.

 But he is mainly known as the hard-charging, balls-of-steel, no-nonsense coach of the Chicago Bears from 1982-1992, including their famous Super Bowl victory against the New England Patriots in 1985.  This was the team that featured Jim McMahon (always wearing his sunglasses – well, almost always…see above right) and “Refridgerator” Perry (who got all the publicity) as well as Walter Payton and Mike Singletary.  The funny thing was, back in 1986 we could not watch Super Bowls in Paris, where we were living.  But the Chicago Pizza Pie Factory had recently opened on the Champs Elysees, and to say they were proud of the Bears would be a massive understatement.  So 99% of our awareness of Ditka and the ’85-86 Bears comes from that restaurant.  Later on, Ditka was constantly named in the George Wendt & Chris Farley SNL sketches.  “Bears in a bus in the Indy 500.”  “Who’s driving?”  “Ditka.”  “Da BEARS!”

 Josef Stalin.  Born Josef Vissarionovich Djugashvili December 18, 1878, in Gori, Georgia, died March 5, 1953.  Supposedly he got his famous name – itself an homage to his hero, Vladimir Ulyanov “Lenin” – from a former girlfriend, Ludmilla Stal.  After a brief spell in a seminary in Georgia, where he picked up atheism and Marxism (the priesthood was considered a better deal than shoemaker, which was his father’s profession) he joined the Bolshevik movement which he supported robbing banks, writing poetry, and chasing skirts.  He was sent to prison and exile several times, though “exile” simply meant “taken out to some remote village with only a single cop looking after him”.  After a few times in which he simply got back on a train west, Okhrana (the Tsar’s secret police) finally got a clue and shipped him so far north of the Arctic Circle that he couldn’t get back, until 1916 when they brought him back to draft him into service in WWI – and even then he was exempted due to poor health.  D’oh!

            “Country Joe”, of Country Joe and the Fish, the 60s band which featured at Woodstock in 1969 with their “Fixin’ To Die Rag” (“one-two-three-what are we fighting for? Don’t ask me I don’t give a damn, next stop is Vietnam!”) is named after Stalin; his parents were Berkeley leftists. 

            During the Russian Civil War he had some role in the fighting in Tsaritsyn (better known as Stalingrad).  After Lenin died in 1924, Stalin spent ’24-29 consolidating power, winning the power struggle against his major rival, Leon Trotsky, who was forced into exile and later murdered in Mexico City in 1940 by Stalin’s assassins.  By 1929 he was considered the USSR’s ruler.  In the late 20s and early 30s he industrialized Russia by means of brutal 5 Year Plans, which starved peasants by the millions and forced the kulaks (rich peasants) who survived onto collective farms.  In 1937 he murdered thousands of his own party members, NKVD agents, and Red Army officers in brutal purges; better kill innocents, they thought, than let a single traitor go free.  He successfully led the Soviet Union through its “Great Patriotic War” in WWII, and eventually died in 1953.   His full body count is extensively chronicled in The Black Book of Communism.

 I can hardly imagine that Mike Ditka is capable of murdering millions of innocent civilians, or even fellow Bolsheviks, not to mention Vikings or Packers, but I do like his gruff manner and straightforward style; very much the “Stalin” of the NFL.  Another major deal is that Stalin was fairly short and never particularly healthy or robust, which kept him out of the Tsar’s Army, although he did like fishing and hunting.  Ditka, of course, was a tall, imposing figure and a successful NFL player.  Stalin enjoyed the arts, particularly poetry, and even wrote his own poetry.  I can’t imagine Ditka having any use for such things.  While he’s described as an arch-conservative, very Republican, Ditka passed on running for the Senate slot which ended up becoming Obama’s; our current President might be McCain if Ditka had successfully challenged Obama for the Illinois US Senate position.  The irony, then is that Stalin was more powerful and ruthless in terms of his impact on the world around him and his own country, whereas Ditka was physically and personally a much more substantial and powerful person. 

Minnesota Vikings

This is my favorite NFL team, despite the fact that I’m not from Minnesota and have never even been there.  I started liking the team in the 70s, a time at which I was growing up in the US and too young to appreciate anything more substantial than purple uniforms, cool helmets, Fran Tarkenton and 4 (lost) Super Bowls. 

 Origins.  The team was formed in Minnesota in 1961, as part of the NFL’s expansion at that time, and took Vikings as the mascot due to the high number of Scandinavian immigrants to that part of the country.  In 1970 the team was aligned in NFC Central Division.

 Fortunes.  The team made it to the Super Bowl 4 times, and lost all 4 times.  In 1969 they lost to the Kansas City Chiefs (23-7); in 1973 to the Dolphins (24-7); in 1975 to the Steelers (16-6), and finally the Raiders in 1978 (32-14).  Joe Capp was the quarterback in 1969 (Tarkenton was with the Giants at that time), while Tarkenton was present for the remaining three losses.  Nevertheless, they dominated the division during this decade.

            Since the 70s, they have reached the NFC Championship several times, but never won.  In 1998, despite a 15-1 record in the regular season, they choked, giving up the game at the end to the Atlanta Falcons, and in 2000 were crushed by the New York Giants, 41-0, despite being favored to win.

            The team is usually competitive in the running to either win the division or get a wildcard slot, but generally tending to lose in the first or second round of the playoffs.  Again, 2000 was the last NFC Championship appearance. 

 ** Aside for NON-NFL readers.  The Super Bowl is between the NFC Champion vs. the AFC Champion.  The AFC approximates the former AFL (American Football League), which merged with the NFL in 1970.  After 16 games of the regular season, 6 teams from each Conference enter the playoffs: the 4 division champions (North, South, East and West), and then the 2 teams remaining with the best records are the wildcard teams.  Each playoff game is “win or go home” – no aggregates (home & away) as often happens in soccer, nor “best of 7” series like baseball, basketball or hockey.  In soccer standings, a team gets 3 points for a victory and one point for a tie, as ties are not only common (including 0-0 ties) but also give the team a point.  Ties are almost nonexistent in the NFL.  

 Uniform.  The home uniform is purple with yellow stripes (unlike soccer, where we have Real Madrid, Santos, and Tottenham with white home jerseys, no NFL team has a white home jersey – except for the 1964 season when the white jerseys were the home jerseys) and white away jersey with the stripes on the shoulders.  The throwbacks uniform has the 70s style stripes.  The helmet is purple with “horn” decals on the side.  Compared to many other teams, especially the Broncos, Bucs, and Patriots, the Vikings uniform has remained fairly constant, and the current helmet is – in style if not in construction – almost identical to the original 1961 helmet.  The team is far too new to have ever played with the leather helmets or sweater-type jerseys of the older teams.

 Stadium.  Originally they played outdoors in Metropolitan Stadium, until they moved into the Metrodome in 1982.  As it is, the Bears and Packers play outdoors (Soldier Field and Lambeau Stadium) whereas the Lions (Ford Field) and Vikings play indoors.

 Rivals.  Up until the realignment in 2001, the Vikings were in NFC Central with the Green Bay Packers, Chicago Bears, Detroit Lions and Tampa Bay Buccaneers.  Since 2002 the NFL now has 32 teams, and is aligned into 4 divisions with 4 teams each, changing what had been Central to North, pushing the Bucs out and leaving the Packers, Bears and Lions as consistent rivals.  I tend to think of the Packers as the biggest rivals, but the Bears and Lions also qualify.  On the other hand, of the 4 teams, the Vikings are by far the youngest. 

            The Packers were founded in 1919 by Curly Lambeau.  The Packers have 9 pre-Super Bowl NFL Championships and won the Super Bowl three times, not only in the late 60s with Bart Starr at QB and Vince Lombardi as coach (’67 and ’68), but more recently with Brett Favre at QB and Mike Holmgren as coach (’97). 

            The Chicago Bears, along with the Arizona Cardinals (originally from Chicago), are one of the few remaining original NFL teams from the league’s formation in 1921.  They have 8 NFL Championships before the Super Bowl era, and beat the Patriots in 1985 in Super Bowl XX – back when Jim McMahon was the QB and Ditka the coach – and lost recently, with Rex Grossman at QB and Lovie Smith as coach, to the Colts. 

            Originally from Portsmouth, Ohio, and called the Spartans, the Detroit Lions moved to Detroit in 1934 and became the Lions. The Lions have never been to the Super Bowl.  They have only been to the playoffs 9 times since 1957, the year they last won an NFL championship.  After an abysmal NFL record 0-16 season, it doesn’t look too good for them this season either.

 Players.  Fran Tarkenton is by far my favorite, quarterback #10 from 1961-66 and 72-78.  I even have a Vikings jersey with his name and number, which I bought ages before the Beckham and Ronaldo jerseys.  During the 70s, the defensive line of Carl Eller, Jim Marshall, and Alan Page were notorious.  More recently, John Randle was a heavy duty lineman.  Cris Carter and Randy Moss were stellar wide receivers.  I liked Gus Frerotte, was not impressed with Tavaris Jackson, and was hoping that Brett Favre would sign on.  The #1 washout was Herschel Walker, obtained from the Cowboys at heinous expense (giving the Cowboys a lock on the Super Bowl for several seasons) and then hardly ever used.  They’ve had Warren Moon (who I associate with the Houston Oilers) and Jim McMahon (#9 with the Bears) at QB slot for brief times.  Brad Johnson, who won the Super Bowl with the Bucs, started and ended with the Vikings.

 Coach.  The current coach is Brad Childress.  The original coach was Norm Van Brocklin, who was eventually replaced by Bud Grant in 1969.  More recently Dennis Green brought the team to the playoffs several seasons, but could never quite manage to get them to the Super Bowl. 

 Outlook.  They still have Adrian Peterson, the fantastic running back.  At quarterback it seems to be a toss-up between recently acquired Sage Rosenfels and prior starter Tavaris Jackson – assuming Brett Favre doesn’t sign up at the last moment.  The Vikings always appear to underachieve, never quite matching their potential considering that the team usually has consistently strong players; unfortunately, the whole appears to be less than the sum of its parts.  I can only hope this season will be different.  At least we’re not the Lions!