Halloween & Elections

I decided to add two otherwise unrelated topics together as neither would be timely the week after.  And since Election Day is traditionally the first Tuesday in November, naturally that comes right on the heels of Halloween, which is always October 31.  If your party did poorly in the Election, the mock fright and terror of Halloween turn into something more real and substantial just a few days later.

 Halloween.  Surprise, surprise, I did not go trick-or-treating this year (no, not even as Angus Young).  I handed out candy to the boys and girls coming to my brother’s doorway, as his wife took his three children out to the neighborhood in search of free candy, solicited by means of the following costumes: iPod, Jango Fett (minus helmet you can’t see out of) and pink Batgirl.  They were all very cute, as were the charming children who graciously accepted the candy I dispensed, all name-brand and none of it raisins, apples, or other “nature’s candy” (which leads itself more to tampering than the standard candy does).  The parents were discreetly behind them. 

 For my part, I recall T-or-T’ing in Montgomery Village growing up.  Our costumes were purchased from the local People’s Drugs (now known as CVS) and came in cardboard boxes.  They had a plastic mask covering the face and secured by a flimsy rubber band stapled to the mask, plus a one-size-fits-most kids coverall fastening in the back.  Casper (the Friendly Ghost), Popeye (the sailor, can of spinach not included), Spiderman, Superman, Batman, were all the costumes I remember.  We’d get in fights if two boys showed up as the same superhero: “I’m the real one.  You’re a fake!”

 Some of the kids T-or-T’ing in my building were on the teenage side.  I recall in Paris, the kids couldn’t abandon T-or-T’ing soon enough as “ah, that’s for kids”.  Now it seems at least some of them – probably Middle Eastern kids who didn’t have that growing up in Iraq of Afghanistan – would prefer to bury their pride and enjoy themselves.  Amen to that, I agree 100%.

 In fact, why not bifurcate it?  Allow the adults to dress up too, and go door to door with their children.  Their bag gets filled from a separate stash:  cigarettes, condoms, free Viagra and Cialis samples, you know, adult stuff.  Why should the kids have all the fun?

 Years ago I did go to a costume party for adults, dressed as Angus Young (of course); as a costume, it’s fairly simple: I already have black shorts, black sneakers (often the same Reeboks that Angus wears), a blue blazer, and plenty of white shirts and ties.  Although I wouldn’t carry a $800-$1600 Gibson SG around, I do have the same guitar he plays – and bought it because I’m such a big AC/DC and Black Sabbath fan.  My friend sneered, “no one will know who you’re supposed to be.”  It turned out the only one who didn’t know, was his own friend Paul, dressed as a “naughty vicar”.  Everyone else referred to me as “Angus!”

 Another year we went as KISS.  I was Gene Simmons, Matt was Ace Frehley, and Phil was Paul Stanley; I suppose if Ken had been around he could have been Peter Criss.  We wore wigs, but the elaborate stage costumes were well beyond our capability.  No matter, the makeup was so well done – Phil even put an authentic topknot in my Gene wig – that the results were still stunning.  It’s too bad we can’t find the pictures we took.

 I also learned that Europe now celebrates Halloween, which strikes me as very ironic.  To me, Halloween is a custom harking to medieval Europe, not modern America, in spirit if not historical tradition.  It would be like us having a Pharoah Day, with Anubis, Set, Osiris, Isis, etc. and pyramids everywhere, and only years later would Egypt follow suit and start to do likewise.

 Voting.  Topic two, coming just days after Halloween.   My ballot consisted of one person-vs-person election (US House of Representatives), a bond issue, and a few dull and arcane constitutional questions (I picture Graham Chapman in Zulu garb, repeating once again in an Indian accent that “we are still holding out for a constitutional settlement.”) 

            They changed the polling location.  I was not notified by mail – I had to find out at my old polling place.  I was told they posted a notice on the bulletin board in my building, but I ignore those notices which are mostly about deaths of people I don’t know or more solicitations to trade in traditional incandescent bulbs for the new compact fluorescent ones.  Be that as it may, I found the new place, which wasn’t very far away.  Some of the old people had trouble choosing “machine or paper?”  If that choice stumps you, voting may be even harder.  Imagine the poor guy stuck in line after Brett Favre.

            Jim Moran is my entrenched Democrat Congressman, who was faced by Patrick Murray, the Republican challenger.  If Murray fails, it’s not for lack of exposure: his road signs were huge and ubiquitous.  While I did see Moran signs around, I think his followers probably assumed their man would win anyway and didn’t try too hard.

            There was no Libertarian running in my district.  The only third party candidate was an Independent Green – independent of who?  Beijing?  Havana?  Or North Korea?  The Greens are obviously Red.

            This gets me to my major issue with this.  I don’t fault people for voting against Libertarians if they are sincerely hostile to the party’s pro-capitalist ideology and plain do not agree with them.  What I have a problem with are Republicans (and some Democrats) who (A) are aware of the Libertarians and what they stand for, (B) agree with the Libertarian candidate’s platform 80-100%, and (C) are well aware that neither major party sincerely advocates its own positions, who (D) STILL vote Republican or Democrat because “the third party doesn’t have a chance.”

            I look at the Republicans and Democrats, and from what I can see, 95% of the candidates have no sincere desire to advance any particular political agenda (in Hillary Clinton’s case, I’d say that’s actually a good thing).  For every Ron Paul or Paul Wellstone who really cares, there are dozens of other Jack Johnsons and John Jacksons who simply want to be elected for the sake of a JOB. 

            The GOP wraps itself in the flag, but doesn’t even give the soldiers body armor or support veterans’ rights.  They talk about supporting “capitalism” and opposing “socialism”, but support big business getting bailouts, protectionism, and all sorts of cronyist corporate welfare bullshit.  Ayn Rand once noted that the one thing worse than being capably attacked is being ineptly defended, and the Republicans defend capitalism in a way which suggests they’re not really trying.  It was their bailing on the “Contract With America” in 1994 which pushed me firmly into the Libertarian camp.

            The Democrats try to turn cowardice into a virtue; and they don’t care about the common working man or the environment.  They would have us believe that Joe SixPack is finally going to get a fair deal under their administration, but once in power their blue collar supporters are quickly forgotten.  We should also recognize how much money big business pours into Democratic candidates – hedging their bets by supporting both sides.  Wake up: both sides are in bed with big business and no meaningful change will be forthcoming so long as that is true.  This business of the Democrats supporting the American working class is just more bullshit.

            Probably the most onerous segment of the Democratic camp is the teachers’ unions.  Talk about SCUM.  These people claim to have the childrens’ interests at heart, yet they oppose voucher systems, oppose any reform of the public school system, oppose anything which threatens their own economic interests.  The Democratic leaders insist that ordinary American parents send their children to crappy public schools, then put their OWN children into private schools.  Note: it’s not the teachers per se I have a problem with, it’s their damn unions.

 Close Calls.  There’s a lot of talk about “rational indifference” in the elections, where wide margins mean that individual votes have hardly any impact, so why bother voting?  Yet in 2000, we woke up the next morning after Election Day and they STILL didn’t know who won.  And in this election, several elections were still undecided the next day.  All I can say is: your polling station is probably just a few blocks from where you live – assuming you even registered to vote – bring a good book in case there’s a line, and VOTE.  If it makes a difference, fine.  If not, there’s another election in 2 years.

 School Elections.  Back in school it was fairly obvious that elections were essentially popularity contests.  But look at our own Presidential elections:  Obama, who was popular, beat McCain, who was not.  Bush, who was popular, beat two colorless dweebs that only equally colorless dweebs felt any passion for.  Dukakis and Mondale were candidates only left-wing Democrats could love.  Rand Paul has 10x the charisma of his father, who appears to favor freedom only because the alternative “costs too much”.  I fail to see how the grumpy old man who doesn’t want to pay for anything was going to beat Chocolate “WE CAN!” Jesus. 

            The Monarchist Party at the University of Maryland put the whole thing in proper perspective: they treated the whole thing as a huge joke.  King Tom’s key platform?  A moat of beer around the campus.  Needless to say, we’re still waiting.  But once in power the Monarchists simply did what the prior administrations did: distribute the student activities funds to the various student organizations, a fairly trivial and mundane task which each such administration could handle without much drama or fuss.  This was true whether it was the Monarchists, or some other party which claimed to take the whole thing seriously and make all sorts of grandiose promises made with a straight face, none of which they could actually deliver, any more than the Monarchists had any real ability to provide that moat of beer.  This is why I consistently voted Monarchist across the ballot.  Unfortunately, I’m not aware that any of the Monarchists actually entered politics in Maryland or elsewhere, but I’d certainly vote for whoever came across a ballot in front of me.  They’d probably be Libertarian anyway.