Russell Peters

We finally caught an A-List comedian, at the Borgata Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey:  Russell Peters.  The Canadian of Indian (7-11 Indian, not casino Indian) origin gave a predictably hilarious performance, for about one hour (not the 1.5-2 hour performance we expect from a headlining musical group). 

What can we tell from him?   He was born and grew up in Canada from Indian parents who moved to Canada in the 60s.  They gave him a common name so he wouldn’t be ridiculed.  He’s been back to India several times but seems to prefer Canada (not much of a surprise).  He’s not good at “things that Indians are supposed to be good at”, like computers. 

Much of his routine involves making fun of whoever is in the first two rows, particularly if they’re mixed race or Asian.  We were several rows back, so we were safe in the darkness.  To that extent his routine has some improvisation, except that by now he can probably count on a certain ethnic mix in the audience – we saw lots of Indians, which was not a surprise.  Although he does make fun of Indians – particularly his parents – other targets are Chinese and Koreans.  According to him, Russian sounds like “talking backwards”. 

You’ll never get anywhere accusing an Indian of being cheap, he says.  The Indians simply consider this being smart.  Chinese are #2 in cheapness, with Jews a long distant third.  “I don’t know how they got that reputation,” he says, “as they’re nowhere near the same class of cheapness as Indians and Chinese.”

We’d seen several of his comedy specials on Netflix and YouTube, so we had some idea of what to expect, but if anything he’s gotten even funnier. 

By the way, a few months ago we caught a comedy night at a local club off 8^th Avenue in Manhattan.  This was a hole in the wall with no A-list comedians.  Even so, all of the comedians were funny and none were atrocious.  Whether we’ll be able to recognize them in a few years if and when they finally break it big, who knows.  Aside from a drafty window behind us, the show was definitely enjoyable.  

The Most Important Man of WWII

Hitler?  Stalin?  Churchill? Roosevelt?  Patton? Rommel?  Perhaps none of the above.   Perhaps it was…Richard Sorge.

December 1941.  The Nazi hordes were knocking on the doors of Moscow.   German General Heinz Guderian advised Hitler that if Moscow fell, it would be game over for the USSR.   The Germans assaulted the Soviet capital from the south and west, and almost took it.  Almost.

Stalin was uncertain about bringing troops from the east back west to face the Germans, because he was concerned about Japanese plans in Manchuria (northeast China), which had traditionally been an area of mutual interest and conflict between Russia and Japan, going back to the Russo-Japanese War in 1905. 

A German reporter in Tokyo, Richard Sorge, was ostensibly a German spy working for the Nazis.  Unbeknownst to the Germans, he was actually a double agent reporting back to Moscow.  And what he reported was that the Japanese actually had their hands full to the south and had no immediate plans in Manchuria.   This left Stalin free to transfer 15 infantry divisions, 3 cavalry divisions, 1700 tanks, and 1500 planes – including some very hardcore Siberian troops who were virtually immune to bitterly cold weather – westward to defend Moscow. 

Arriving in the fierce snowstorms of December 1941, these troops slammed into the Germans, smashing them away from Moscow.  The following spring, ignoring Guderian’s advice to resume the attack on Moscow, Hitler sent his forces southeast, towards the Caucasus and a city named Stalingrad.   That battle ended in February 1943 with the surrender of the Sixth Army, and by April 1945 the Red Army was in Berlin.

What might have happened, had Sorge not informed Stalin of Tokyo’s military intentions?  Very possibly, the Germans might have taken Moscow in December 1941.  From there, they could have consolidated their hold on the Russian capital and won the war on the Eastern Front. 

Having done so, Hitler could also transfer troops west to handle any possible Allied invasion of France.   The D-Day invasion might have been called off altogether, or attempted and failed.  It’s difficult to imagine a scenario in which the Germans win the Eastern Front war but still lose against the Allies (although that’s exactly what happened in World War I).   Most alternative history stories featuring a victorious Germany – In the Presence of Mine Enemies (Harry Turtledove) and The Man in the High Castle (Philip K. Dick) – assume that Germany defeated the Russians. 

This being the case, that makes Richard Sorge one of the most important men of World War II.  However, he did not live to see the VE Day in May 1945.  The Kempetai (Japanese secret police) became suspicious of him, arrested him, and tortured him.  Naturally he confessed.  Stalin refused to trade for him (note that Stalin also refused to trade with the Germans when his own son was captured by them), and the Japanese hanged Sorge in November 1944.  In the Japanese movie “Spy Sorge”, he’s played by Iain Glen, best known as Ser Jorah Mormont on HBO’s Game of Thrones.  

The White Album

It seems the Beatles album everyone goes nuts for is Sgt Pepper, but myself, John Lennon, and Charles Manson have a different preference, the self-titled double album released in November 1968, better known as simply the White Album.

My introduction to the album came from the “Blue Album” compilation, The Beatles ’67-70.  But only three tracks, “Back in the USSR”, “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”, and “Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da” made it onto that compilation – barely the tip of the iceberg. 

I did get it on vinyl – the American version, in stereo.  It included 4 portrait photos of the band and a poster, one pic showing John naked on a bed.  See that once and then fold up the poster forever.  Most of the material was written when the band was in India, but recorded in the UK when they returned.  Ringo quit the band briefly, later persuaded to return. 

Back in the USSR.  In March 1983 our school trip took us to the USSR – back when it still was the USSR.  I brought my Walkman (remember those?) and several tapes, including this one.  We all gathered in our room at the Hotel Bratislava in Kiev and listened to this one.  I seem to recall we even sang the chorus to “Rocky Raccoon”. 

Side 1.  “Back in the USSR”, “Dear Prudence”, “Glass Onion”, “Ob-La-Di, “Ob-La-Da”, “Wild Honey Pie”, “The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill”, “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” (with guitar by Eric Clapton), and “Happiness Is A Warm Gun”.   Of these, the opener and “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” are my favorites.  “Happiness” took awhile to grow on me, but I eventually accepted it.

Side 2.  “Martha My Dear”, “I’m So Tired”, “Blackbird”, “Piggies”, “Rocky Raccoon”, “Don’t Pass Me By”, “Why Don’t We Do It In the Road?”, “I Will”, and “Julia”.  RR used to be my favorite at first, but I immediately liked “Don’t Pass Me By” and got hooked on “I’m So Tired” on the Russia trip.

Side 3.  “Birthday”, “Yer Blues”, “Mother Nature’s Son”, “Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except For Me And My Monkey”, “Sexy Sadie”, “Helter Skelter”, and “Long, Long, Long”.   “Helter Skelter” is my favorite, one of the heaviest songs the Beatles ever recorded: thank you, Paul.

In fact, I liked “Helter Skelter” so much, that for a long time I never got around to listening to Side 4 [the same reason I ignored side two of Led Zeppelin IV, after the final track of side one].  I mean, how could they top “Helter Skelter”? 

Side 4.  “Revolution 1” [much slower than the single version of “Revolution”, which I prefer], “Honey Pie”, “Savoy Truffle”, “Cry Baby Cry”, “Revolution #9”, and “Good Night”.  #9 is one of the Beatles’ worst songs, and Yoko Ono’s role in this is probably why.  As annoying and unlistenable as R#9 is, your reward for continuing to the end is the delightful “Good Night”, sung by Ringo.  Nowadays with CD players and iTunes you can simply > to “Good Night”, but with vinyl you’re rarely motivated enough – even by R#9 – to get off your ass and move the needle. 

In addition to the trip of seeing Tony Iommi play guitar with Jethro Tull, and an excellent performance of “A Quick One” by the Who, another advantage of watching the Rolling Stones’ Rock’n’Roll Circus is to see “Dirty Mac” (Lennon, Clapton, Keith Richards on bass, and Mitch Mitchell on drums) play “Yer Blues”, although the usually talented Clapton completely drops the ball on the solo.  The Stones’ own performance is actually pretty good.  Brian Jones was still there, Keith plays a Les Paul Custom, and Mick has yet to degenerate into his androgynous persona of the 1970s.  They’re promoting Beggar’s Banquet, but the material is solid. 

Helter Skelter.  We can’t do this without mentioning Manson, can we?  Vincent Bugliosi, the L.A. prosecutor who put Manson and his family behind bars, studied Manson’s views extensively to develop his theory on the case.  Why did Manson order his followers to murder Tate & her friends, and the LaBianca couple?  Since Manson himself did not murder anyone, Bugliosi had to have some sort of explanation for a conspiracy.

            Manson believed that a race war was inevitable between blacks and whites in California.  The blacks would win, of course, but they needed some encouragement.  Manson hoped that attacking affluent whites, while having his lunatics scrawl “PIGS” and such on the walls, would convince whites that blacks were behind this and stoke up white hatred for blacks.  Instead, everyone just realized the killers were crazed lunatics, regardless of what race they were.  By the way:  Manson’s plan was that after the blacks took over, they would be clueless on how to rule.  The Manson family, having hidden out in Death Valley while the war was going on, would emerge safely, confront the blacks, and put them in their places telling them to “go back and pick cotton”.  Yes, that was what the Beatles supposedly told Manson in “Helter Skelter”. 

Sgt Pepper is an excellent album.  And coming right after Revolver, it blew people’s minds.  Hell, I can even enjoy “Within Without You” (though when it comes to Harrison’s Indian-flavored material, I prefer Revolver’s “For You To”).  The White Album is all over the place.  While it has two of the worst songs (“Wild Honey Pie” and “R#9”) it also has some of their best, including “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” and “Helter Skelter”.  I suppose after being treated to a concept album, this heterogenous mix is a letdown; I beg to differ – leave consistency to concept albums and allow the rest to be enjoyed as they were meant to be, as a collection of songs which may have nothing to do with each other but share excellence.  To me it’s an epic masterpiece, and deserves more recognition and respect relative to Sgt. Pepper.   Enjoy.

Shaggy Dogs and Lawyers

The Shaggy Dog (1959).  This was actually Disney’s first live-action comedy, in black & white.  A young teenage boy, Wilby Daniels (Tommy Kirk) discovers a mysterious Italian ring with a Latin inscription, “in canis corpore trasmuto” (“I change into the body of a dog”) allegedly an artifact of the Borgias, the famous medieval Italian family.  He turns into a sheepdog several times.  As a dog he overhears bad guy discussing plots to steal weapons plans (Cold War, remember?) but manages to foil the plot.  The movie is based on an older novel, The Hound of Florence, by Felix Salten, who is better known for having written Bambi (yes, the story about the deer).  Without having read it, though, I can’t comment on how much the story is changed.  It is entertaining.

I did watch the first episode of “The Borgias”, the recent miniseries with Jeremy Irons as Rodrigo Borgia, aka Pope Alexander VI.  His daughter Lucrezia does NOT turn into a dog.  Sorry, no magic.  So much for that show.

The Shaggy D.A. (1976).  This is actually a sequel.  In fact, I recall seeing “The Shaggy Dog” in the US around the time this movie came out.  Before VCRs and cable, the most likely explanation is that the 1959 film was broadcast on TV to tie in with the release of the sequel in the movie theaters.

            Daniels is grown up now, played by Dean Jones, with his wife played by Suzanne Pleshette (most often seen on “Newhart”).  He’s a private attorney but strongly encouraged to run for district attorney (D.A.) because the incumbent, John Slade (Keenan Wynn) is not merely incompetent, but corrupt: in cahoots with local gangster Roshak (Vik Tayback, aka “Mel” from “Alice”, plus “A Piece of the Action”, etc.).  The magic ring gets discovered again, so Daniels starts turning into a sheepdog again – apparently at random, but at the most inconvenient times.  Tim Conway plays the local ice cream man whose dog he turns into, and his would-be fiancé is a roller derby chick.  Here he can actually talk, even as a dog.

The Shaggy Dog (2006).  My initial impression of this was, “oh no…Tim Allen is going to ruin this.”  Not quite.  Despite the title, it’s more of a remake of “D.A.” than “Dog” because the character is a grown man, not a teenager, and he’s an attorney, Dave Douglas.  He’s actually an assistant D.A., hoping to take over the top position from Danny Glover’s character – who presumably is getting too old for this.    

            This time around the cause of the transformation is not a magic Borgia ring, but rather a serum derived from another dog, Po, who is 300 years old.  Douglas is prosecuting an animal rights activist, Forrester, accused of vandalizing the lab of Grant & Strictland.  G&S is trying to extract Po’s essence to cure aging.   Po bites Douglas, which makes him somewhat of a were-dog.   Too bad for Douglas, in this film he can’t talk as a dog, but he does figure out how to deliberately change into a dog (though he never figures out how to change back).  His wife is played by Kristin Davis (Charlotte from “Sex & the City”), and I recognize Shawn Pyfrom (Alex Van De Camp from “Desperate Housewives”) as the teenage daughter’s boyfriend. 

            The bad guy here is Tony Stark himself, Robert Downey Jr, playing the #2 scientist at G&S, Kozak.  Everything comes to a climax at a “Liar, Liar” type trial scene.  

Baltimore Riots!

Timely, não é?  Incidentally, this isn’t the first time Baltimore has had riots.

1861.   Immediately after the Civil War broke out, CSA sympathizers rioted.  Union troops coming from Pennsylvania on their way south to defend Washington, DC, had to march through downtown Baltimore from the President Street Station, west down Pratt Street to the Camden Street Station.  It was along Pratt Street that white protesters, i.e. pro-CSA crackers, attacked the Union troops.  Toll: 4 soldiers, 12 civilians dead. 

1968.  From April 6 to 14, 1968, riots swelled across the country in the wake of Martin Luther King Jr’s assassination in Memphis, Tennessee.  In Baltimore, Governor Spiro Agnew had to call out the Maryland National Guard, and then ask for Federal troops from President Johnson.  The toll wound up as 6 dead, 700 wounded, and $12m ($77.5 in 2015 dollars) of property damage.

By the way….

Fairfax, Virginia.  This shooting went completely off the radar:  in August 2013, Fairfax County Police Officer Torres shot and killed John Geer, who was standing in his front door, even though all the other cops at the scene insist that Geer had his hands up and was not threatening anyone.   Geer’s family brought a lawsuit, which was recently settled.  Remarkably, as of today, there have been NO charges filed against Torres.  None.  Not only that, he’s still on Fairfax’s payroll. 

Riots in Fairfax?  ZERO.   Outcry in Fairfax?  ZERO.   I only found out about this when I read that the case had been settled.  Perhaps Geer’s race is part of the reason: he was white. 

Update on the Michael Brown case in Missouri.  My prediction in my earlier blog notwithstanding, the US Dept of Justice has declined to bring any chargers against Officer Darren Wilson.  Hmm.  If there was a single shred of evidence, any possible chance of a conviction, I cannot imagine the DOJ not bringing charges against Wilson.  Unlike DA McCulloch, the Feds have no dog in this fight, and if anything, have an incentive to step in and fix things, if they do need to be fixed.  But their decision seems to vindicate Wilson.  The Feds had the luxury of plowing through the grand jury testimony and evidence and making a decision without having to worry about a riot erupting on them, so they could be more objective than the local DA.  

            Brown’s family has filed a civil wrongful death suit against the Ferguson PD, and with a lesser standard in a civil case (a preponderance of the evidence, vs. beyond a reasonable doubt) it’s possible that either a settlement or a judgment for the family will be forthcoming.  Stay tuned. 

Baltimore.  Now we have riots in Baltimore.  Naturally I’ll give my impression of that, too:  from a nucleus of peaceful protestors who honestly believe Freddie Gray was murdered by the police while in custody – which is not a fanciful assumption or belief – the opportunistic rioters latched on and made a mess of everything.  As I noted earlier, this unfortunately discredits what might otherwise be legitimate concerns of the black community of Baltimore and reinforces the polarity between those who mistrust the police and those who fall in step behind them no matter what the circumstances. 

Fact: there are criminals.   Dangerous criminals.  We depend on the police to protect us from them.

Fact: there are bad cops.  Dangerous bad cops.  And far too often, the police community closes ranks to protect them from public retribution (due credit for the FCPD cops who supported the Geer family’s position instead of lying to protect Torres).    

Bottom line: we should be safe from criminals – without accepting an unaccountable police state.