The White House

Yet another instance where a local attraction – the White House – has remained unvisited despite its close proximity until relatives from out of town – my sister and her two daughters – requested a tour.  My Mom and my brother Matt also went along.   Matt had gone earlier with his family.  My parents actually used to work there:  my mom was the nurse for President Johnson (Lyndon, not Andrew or Gary), and my dad worked for BOB.  That’s probably how they met.

Just the Basic Facts (Can You Show Me Where It Hurts).   It’s in DC, on Pennsylvania Ave.  To the west is the Old Executive Office Building.  To the east, the Treasury Dept. Building.  To the north, Pennsylvania Ave and Lafayette Square.  To the South, the Ellipse and Constitution Ave.  If you see a square edifice with four columns, that’s the NORTH Portico, which looks out onto Lafayette Square.  If you see a semi-circular edifice (e.g. the photo above), that’s the SOUTH Portico, which looks out onto the vast expanse of south lawn and the Ellipse.  It was built during Washington and Adams’ administration, and Adams (John, Chief Executive #2) moved in at the end of his term, thus Jefferson was the first President to live there for a full term.   During the War of 1812, the British torched the place when they captured Washington, DC, but it was rebuilt soon thereafter.   The West Wing dates from the early 1900s, and during Truman’s administration the whole building was completely rebuilt. 

NOTE:  The Oval Office, the press room, and all the offices, are in the West Wing – so the “business” of the country, insofar as it occurs on the President’s watch – as opposed to Congress’ or the Supreme Court – occurs in the West Wing.  What occurs in the White House proper are social gatherings and functions, e.g. Grover Cleveland’s wedding, formal dinners, and dead Presidents (Lincoln & Kennedy) lying in state. 

A few warnings are in order.

Warning #1.  Approval & Access.  You cannot simply walk up to 1600 Pennsylvania, ring the doorbell, and ask to be let in.  You have to apply in advance and then, a few weeks and a background check later, you will be approved for a date and time, for the specific individuals identified in your party (i.e. bring ID).   Keep this in mind if you have a DC trip coming up.   Also, the form letter articulating the guidelines (helpful advice like “don’t bring weapons or pot” alongside the less obvious but still significant stuff mentioned below) is your entry pass.  Don’t chuck it after reading it, you’ll need it to gain access. 

Warning #2.  Waiting in line.  First you wait in line on Fifteenth Street, on the street with no cover – better hope it doesn’t rain.  Then you wait in line for your first ID check.  Then you’re let in to wait in line for a second ID check.  All of this is with no shelter from the elements.  Then you wait in line to be x-rayed or whatever by something you simply stand next to.  Presumably it weeds out Mystique, Odo, and other shapeshifters.  Finally you wait in line for a regular “empty your pockets” metal detector thing.

THEN you can enter the East Wing.  From there you enter the bottom floor of the main house, go up the stairs, tour the middle floor (top floor off-limits) and eventually emerge from the North Portico which faces out to Lafayette Park.  The stretch of Pennsylvania Avenue running in front of the White House is now closed to vehicle traffic.

Warning #3.  No access to bathrooms.   Make sure you take care of business first.  The Visitor Center located in the north part of what we’d consider the Department of Commerce building has bathrooms and a gift shop (though the dry-your-hands blowers are a sad joke). 

Warning #4.  There is no visitor parking for the White House itself.  It’s downtown, so street parking is nonexistent.  The nearest Metro station is several blocks away.   However, there is a large parking garage in the Ronald Reagan Building across from the Dept. of Commerce, and there are a few other parking garages scattered around the area, a few blocks away; it helps if you know where they are and plan ahead of time.  I took Uber both ways and that worked out fine.

Warning #5.   West Wing.  The Oval Office and all that stuff is off-limits – as is, most obviously, the Lincoln Bedroom (is there a Clinton Bedroom?).   When you think about it, the fact that the Presidential Mansion is open for tours at all is actually somewhat remarkable.   Theoretically the First Family is upstairs (second floor off-limits) and the Big Guy is in his office over in the West Wing – or on a golf course somewhere else – but all us snoopy tourists are ooh-ing and ah-ing around, mostly taking 10000 cell phone pics in front of literally every room that is available.

Warning #6.  That’s it?   Since the areas you can visit are the East Wing, and two floors of the main house, it doesn’t take much to complete the tour – especially if you’re not conscientiously taking pictures of literally everything and everyone in your group in front of something.   Objectively, I found the White House to be somewhat small.  We’ve visited Vanderbilt mansions in Newport, Rhode Island which seem larger – though no one actually lives there anymore. 

We did not meet the President, Vice President, First Lady, or anyone else famous, though there is no shortage of Presidential portraits, even some of the VPs and First Ladies.  Despite his ego, Trump is but one of many Chief Executives depicted in his Palace.  I actually overdressed – perhaps for the remote possibility of being made Great by a meeting with the Donald himself – in shirt and tie, as most of my fellow tourists were dressed accordingly, i.e. fairly casual.  Go in a t-shirt and jeans, as no one cares what you’re wearing. 

Did I enjoy it?  Yes.  Would I do it again?  Probably not.  Would I recommend it to others?   Sure, IF you keep those warnings in mind, and thus your expectations in check.   Thank you, Sarah for arranging this.