Fantastic Magic

I recently saw “Fantastic Breasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald”, the sequel to the earlier Harry Potter prequel movie, “Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them”.

I actually read the original seven Harry Potter books and did a blog about them in 2007, around the time of Order of the Phoenix (#5) and before Half Blood Prince (#6) and the pair of “Deathly Hallows” films, which cover book #7 but serve as movies 7 and 8.   I haven’t read anything after Deathly Hallows.

I was pleasantly surprised by “FB” and also liked “Grindelwald”.  Both are prequels and neither feature Harry Potter himself.  Younger Dumbledore makes his appearance in “Grindelwald”, played by one of my favorite actors, Jude Law.  Johnny Deep plays Grindelwald himself.  Warning, Dumbledore describes his relationship with Grindelwald as “closer than brothers”, meaning, “they’re gay, but don’t worry, we won’t see them kissing.”  [“Not that there’s anything wrong with it.”]

Both focus on Newt Scamander, played by Eddie Redmayne, and here’s why I like it: almost all of the characters are adults AND the movie takes place in New York City.  FINALLY we have some acknowledgement that the United States exist.  As for adults, I suppose had I been a kid when the Potter books came out I’d have liked them more.  But no, I’m an adult, and to me these are kid’s stories and movies.  So pushing the focus on adult characters really pushes it more into my preference range.

The third thing is PARIS.   “Grindelwald” starts off in NYC again – 1927, so even the Chrysler Building isn’t around yet – but gives us some London (ZZZ) but lots of Paris.   And this is a Paris rich in Art Nouveau.  I’ve gone off about Paris umpteen times, mainly because I used to live there.   The Paris angle I DON’T LIKE is this 1920s “American in Paris” crap with Hemingway, Stein, and all the pretentious expatriate writers hanging out there after World War I.   And “Midnight in Paris” with Owen Wilson was all about that – except when his female friend Adriana (Marion Cotillard) dragged him to 1890s Paris.  Anyhow.  Fortunately the movie makers give us more Art Nouveau than Art Deco and spared us Hemingway and his friends.   Thank you!

Part of the fun is giving us young Dumbledore (Law) and many of the writers of the Hogwarts textbooks as actual characters in their youth.  While I can’t say I have the patience to re-read the original 7 books to catch up, many of the names sound vaguely familiar. 

Note: there will be a third film released in 2020, for a total of five films.  I have to wonder where the next three will take place, because we’ve hit NYC (Fantastic Breasts) and Paris (Grindelwald).   May I suggest Rio de Janeiro?  And what about magic in communist countries?  Dare we see what Moscow looked like in 1928, with Stalin and Trotsky still battling it out for control of the Soviet Union?  What does the MagiCheka look like? 

Better yet, if the series continues into the 1930s, in particular past January 30, 1933, perhaps Berlin could be a setting.  Because we all know that the Nazis’ fascination with the occult is a topic which is long overdue for a movie, right?

Stay tuned.

Old Man

“…and we liked it!”  was Dana Carvey’s refrain on SNL, eons ago, as the grumpy old man accusing today’s youth of being soft, citing his own generation’s implausibly difficult circumstances.  Ironically, Carvey himself must be getting on in years but hasn’t been visibly active on screen these days, at least so far as I can see.

I hit the big 5-0 back in January.   Naturally that has me thinking.  Here are some of those thoughts.

Middle Aged?  For some reason I took as a given that life expectancy was a nice, round 100.   And many people do live that long these days, but so far as I know current life expectancy in the First World remains around 75.   So 50 isn’t middle aged, it’s 67% of the way through.  Oops.

Reincarnation.   PROG Magazine features a column by none other than famous keyboardist Rick Wakeman, whose commentary is invariably humorous and witty, but in this case he went on about reincarnation.  I find the whole premise of reincarnation so thoroughly implausible and ridiculous as to be not worth discussing even in theory.  There are billions of people alive today, far more than have ever died.   Reincarnation as a human is a non-starter.  For his part, he was discussing animals, which in addition to being implausible is also silly.  Funny how no animals, even dolphins, have made any effort to communicate with us.   If Uncle Ted was reborn as an animal, wouldn’t he tap, in morse code, somehow?    Really a total waste of time for anyone to consider.

Stem Cells.   I had a chiropractor in my office and we discussed this.   According to him, nerve damage from even minor accidents is permanent.  After puberty, these types of cells do not regrow.  I asked him if stem cells could fix that, and he said that in principle they could, but the technology to allow them to do so is decades away. 

Then I asked him about immortality, and he gave me the “good news”/”bad news”.  The good news is that in theory, stem cells could allow us to replace aging tissue and ensure, effectively, eternal youth.  The bad news is that the state of stem cell technology as of 2019 is such that even if it ever did reach that point, anyone alive today, and certainly him and I, would be long dead by that time.  Sigh…

Falling Apart.   My metabolism has gone down substantially.   My weight has gone up.  I used to be able to run on the treadmill at 7 mph.  Now I’m lucky to be able to do a brisk walk at 4.5 mph, or briefly run for 5-10 minutes at 6 mph.  As for strength, though, I’m lifting as much as I ever was at 25.

My hair still seems to be hanging in there, though some of it (less than 25%) is grey.   I’m feeling more aches and pains than ever before, not sure whether it’s wear and tear, arthritis, or – as the chiropractor suggested – auto accident injuries manifesting themselves years after the accidents occurred.  Unfortunately ObamaCare effectively pushed me out of the health insurance market:  $300 a month with an $8000 deductible, such a bad deal that the adjusters told me not to bother with it.  Whatever health care I do get is paid out of pocket as I go.  

Fortunately in other departments I’m still doing OK.   President John Tyler, #10, who served from 1841-45, remarkably has living two living grandsons today [https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/heir-raising-experience/].   I’ve long since given up hope on having children – and even if I somehow fathered any today, I would be 70 when they were in college.   My interest at this point is more the obvious part of the childbearing procedure from the male perspective and no real expectation of producing children. 

On the other hand, the Romans were big on adoption, refusing to rely on the randomness of childbirth AND having children who weren’t screwups; they interviewed decent kids of other parents and adopted the ones they felt were worthy.  Not a bad idea….

Mind Reading.  Not sure if this belongs here, but it's a minor power I seem to have picked up in the last year or so.  I've noticed when watching TV or a movie I've never seen before, I'm able to predict what the characters will say, sometimes verbatim.  And no, we're not talking about common catchphrases.  I picked one from "Two Mules For Sister Sara" (remarkable western with Clint Eastwood and Shirley MacLaine) literally word for word.  I suppose there's a finite array of vocabulary and maybe a critical mass of movies which makes this possible, who knows.  Not that I'm complaining.

Cassettes

I originally addressed this issue in a blog from 2008, when cassettes were still a dead and obsolete format.  Now, after vinyl, cassettes are making a comeback.   I addressed the vinyl comeback in 2014, now I’ll tackle this second resurgence.

First, I’d like to address vinyl one more time.   I think I’ve found the reason so many people swear that vinyl sounds better than CD.  Rather, two reasons.

“The Emperor’s New Clothes.”   The Vinyl Prophet cynically believes that arrogantly asserting a counterintuitive claim – “I’m wearing clothes when it appears I’m not” OR “vinyl is superior to CD” – can be achieved with a surplus of confident arrogance.  “I know something you don’t!” i.e. only people as smart as I am can recognize that I’m right. 

There is NO logical reason why vinyl should sound better than CD.  CD technology is more advanced – digital, from the 1980s and later – whereas vinyl technology, in the form of 33 1/3 RPM LPs, dates from the late 1940s, and the basic technology dates from the early twentieth century.   180 grain vinyl is still the same technology, just a thicker slab of vinyl, that’s all.  It’s purely analog no matter how thick the vinyl.

“Thank you, Colorado.”  Another reason may be that the listener is enhanced by THC.   You can’t listen to vinyl in your car, at the gym, walking down the street.  You have to listen to it at home, on a turntable going through a stereo.  When you’re at home you’re also at liberty to indulge in any herbal remedies you might otherwise enjoy in that private environment.  Combine the two together and you have a rich and enjoyable musical experience, but perhaps also the erroneous conviction that vinyl is better than CD.   Nope, that’s the THC talking, another example of what I call “recreational stupidity”.  Not that weed makes you stupid, temporarily or otherwise, but to non-stoners it may appear that way, especially when you utter faux-profound statements under the influence which impress only others feeling the same way.

Cassettes.  Back to these.  In the 1950s, the prevailing methods of listening to music were vinyl and reel-to-reel.  Neither of these were practical for cars, which up to this point were limited to radios.  Bill Lear, of Lear Jet fame, invented 8 track cartridges (the “car” in “cartridge” referring to automobiles) expressly for the purpose of having a format which was practical in cars.  By 1962, Phillips had invented cassettes, and by the late 1970s cassettes defeated 8 tracks as the preferred format for car stereos. 

Cassette Deck.  I have a Pioneer dual deck, which I wound up removing since I wasn’t listening to tapes anymore.  It still works, it’s just gathering dust in my closet.  Crutchfield sells a TASCAM dual deck for $500 which will allow you to convert your cassette tapes into digital files. 

Car Stereo.  I got my driver’s license in 1986, and my first car, a 1984 Chevrolet Cavalier, in 1988.  It had a Delco (OEM) auto-reverse deck which worked most of the time.  My 1992 Pontiac Firebird (base model, loaded with all the options) had a deluxe tape deck, my 1992 Pontiac Firebird Formula 350 (only option: the 5.7L V8) the bare bones OEM tape deck, which I replaced with a Pioneer unit from Crutchfield.   I remember my buddy Phil with his early 70s Mercedes 450SLC with only a radio.  Aside from hearing Pink Floyd’s “One of These Days” for the first time thanks to either DC101 or 98 Rock, mostly the distinction was not having a tape deck. 

My current car, a 2009 Dodge Charger, has the stock CD player.  I’m seeing cars these days from the factory with no CD player at all, just AUX and USB inputs for iPods, etc.  Fortunately Crutchfield is still around… 

Boom Box.   A large, portable cassette deck with big speakers.  Ostensibly de rigeur for those whose relatives originally came from Africa and now prefer to share their urban-oriented music with everyone else within earshot, you could of course boom anything from a boom box:  “Sinner”, by Judas Priest, or classical music should you be so inclined.  But not everyone will appreciate your sharing….

Walkman.  In the early 1980s Sony came out with the Walkman, the first practical and popular personal cassette player with headphones.  I got one for my confirmation (Catholic thing) gift.  It kept my school bus journeys in high school more fun, then later trips on the SNCF (French railroad, local commuter lines) to school as well.   With headphones, this meant that unlike a boom box, you could enjoy your music more discreetly without involuntarily inflicting your particular taste in music upon everyone else around you.   

Mix Tapes.  If you’ve seen “Guardians of the Galaxy” you’ll notice Star Lord (Chris Pratt) has his mix tape and even in the distant future, across galaxies, keeps a cassette deck – probably the only one in the universe – for the express purpose of listening to his cherished tuneage.  Before CD-Rs came by, this was a major selling point for cassettes.  I myself made a few, a Heavy Mix and a Ram Air Mix.  Maybe someday they’ll use mine for the third GotG movie’s villain to inflict Black Sabbath, Sleep, and other noxious stoner rock upon everyone.

FYI, here are the mixes for GotG1 and 2.  The story is that his mom made these of songs she liked, and he keeps them because they remind him of her.   Sadly, with all the great bands around during the 70s to choose from – Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, the Grateful Dead, Grand Funk Railroad, KISS, etc. – his mom had to listen to the following mediocre mom-rock tunage. “Awesome Mix”?  Not even close.  See below:

GotG1.  Hooked on a Feeling (Blue Swede); Go All The Way (The Raspberries); Spirit in the Sky (Norman Greenbaum); Moonage Daydream (David Bowie); Fooled Around and Fell in Love (Elvin Bishop); I’m Not In Love (10cc); I Want You Back (The Jackson 5); Come And Get Your Love (Redbone); Cherry Bomb (The Runaways); Escape (The Pina Colada Song) (Rupert Holmes); O-o-h Child (The Stairsteps); Ain’t No Mountain High Enough (Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell).

GotG2.  Mr Blue Sky (Electric Light Orchestra); Fox on the Run (The Sweet); Lake Shore Drive (Allotta James Jeremiah); The Chain (Fleetwood Mac); Bring It On Home To Me (Sam Cooke); Southern Nights (Glen Campbell); My Sweet Lord (George Harrison) (a good song, but come on – not his best); Brandy (You’re A Fine Girl) (Looking Glass); Come A Little Closer (Jay & The Americans); Wham Bam Shang-a-Lang (Silver); Surrender (Cheap Trick); Father and Son (Cat Stevens); Flash Light (Parliament) (I’d have gone with “Maggot Brain”); Guardians Inferno (The Sneepers).

Comeback.  Speaking of stoner rock.  Those bands seemed most inclined to release their material on vinyl.  Case in point, my most recent acquisition, SLEEP live at Third Man Records, a 4 LP set.  Now in addition to vinyl, these bands are releasing their material on cassette.  As noted above, there are plenty of useful idiots pedantically claiming that vinyl is a superior format to CD and digital.  The next person who expresses any such opinion with regard to cassettes will be the first.  So far as I can tell, this is an indulgence purely for nostalgic purposes. 

Of my own collection, a recent review shows that 95% of what I have on cassette I have on CD.  Of the 5% remaining, that’s almost all bootlegs, which I haven’t listened to in ages – one Pink Floyd, a few Blue Oyster Cult (1976, Eric Bloom bitching to Carter about the 55 mph speed limit), Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, etc. – and few mix tapes.  The little boom box I have next to my bed has a tape deck, so I should listen to these again….

Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules For Life - An Antidote to Chaos

This is Jordan Peterson’s bestselling “how to” book on life.    I recently finished it at the request and/or suggestion of my brother Matt, with whom I generally share not merely interests and genes but also values.   His part of the bargain is to complete the Three Body Problem trilogy.   Ahem.

Almost all of these are fairly straightforward and could be described as “enlightened self-interest”. 

Oddly, throughout this whole book, absolutely no reference is made to Ayn Rand, though the essence of his advice is the same:  look out for your own interests but not at anyone else’s expense.  I notice many references to fascism and communism, not in favorable terms; those discussions were enjoyable on their own merits.  Also, there’s a fair dose of religion in here, but more as a reference and not as a source of morality.  Dante referred to “virtuous pagans”, and sadly too many religious people tend to be hypocrites and less “moral” than others who affect either atheism or merely an indifference to organized religion and going to church every Sunday.   Peterson fits right in here, advising us to be moral – above all, consistently so – without invoking God or retribution to back it up, virtue for its own sake.  Throughout the whole thing I found little or nothing to disagree with. 

Here are the 12 Rules:  

Rule 1.  Stand up straight with your shoulders back.

Rule 2.  Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.

Rule 3. Make friends with people who want the best for you.

Rule 4. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.

Rule 5. Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them.

Rule 6.  Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world.

Rule 7. Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient).

Rule 8.  Tell the truth – or at least, don’t lie

Rule 9. Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t

Rule 10.  Be precise in your speech.

Rule 11.  Do not bother children when they are skateboarding.

Rule 12.  Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street.

Fairly straightforward and sensible enough.   He really needs to wake up and read Atlas Shrugged.