Crossing Swords

Those of us who love South Park will be happy to know that Season 23 will be forthcoming, the sooner the better.  In the meantime, Hulu is giving us some original programming in the form of a similar animated show, 10 episodes just under 30 minutes each, of “Crossing Swords”.  It features the adventures of Patrick, a squire in a mythical/fictional village.  As a squire his job is to protect the royal family, including the impulsive and high maintenance Princess Blossom, from its own consistently poor judgment. 

The characters have spherical heads, square bodies, and despite the absence of arms, no trouble manipulating objects.  There are also mythical beasts such as fairies, goblins, and a Minotaur, to name a few.

Characters (Voiced By…).

Patrick (Nicholas Hoult).  Arguably the only normal person with anything close to a decent character, and thus – to me – the only actually sympathetic character.  I hope for his sake he becomes a knight.

Sloane (Jameela Jamil).   Patrick’s love interest, a maid in the castle.  It turns out she may well be more.

Broth (Adam Pally).  Another squire, more enthusiastic than bright.  He trips on something hallucinogenic at the music festival.

Coral (Tara Strong).  Patrick’s sister, a pirate queen.

Blarney (Tony Hale).  Patrick’s brother, a clown.  Just as cynical as Krusty.

Ruben (Adam Ray), Patrick’s other brother, a Robin Hood type – in direct competition with Robin Hood himself.

King Merriman (Luke Evans).  The King.  Kind of a jerk.

Queen Tulip (Alanna Ubach).  The Queen.  Kind of a bitch.  Also highly sexually adventurous.

Princess Blossom (Maya Erksine).  The Princess, as noted above, extremely annoying and high maintenance as a matter of principle. 

Blinkerquartz (Seth Green).  The Wizard, somewhat of an average Merlin.  He also acts as the King’s de facto advisor, marginally more savvy than the King himself.  Not sure I recall him actually doing any magic.  The magic I did see performed was by the queen’s sister. 

Glenn (Brecklin Meyer), Patrick’s father.  Not particularly good as a father, but competitive with King Merriman, to the point where a movement erupts to replace the King with Glenn.

Doreen (Wendi McLendon-Covey), Patrick’s mother.  Very similar to Queen Tulip.  In fact, it reached the point where it seemed the King and Glenn, and Queen and Doreen, were essentially copies of each other.

Guests?  Alfred Molina (Doc Oc in the recent Spider Man film) voices Robin Hood, and Natasha Lyonne voiced Norah, the Indomitable Snowwoman.  

Indulgence.  Warning, like “South Park”, the language is consistently foul.  Like “South Park”, they can get away with lots of situations which would be pornographic if done in live action.  That includes the titular “crossing swords”, intimate interaction between two male characters, fortunately not a regular occurrence.  You have to have tolerance for this kind of stuff to enjoy it, though I have to say I do, and I did enjoy it.  That included a music festival at which Blossom falls in love with an ill-fated member of a death metal band. 

Season 2 is on its way, so we can expect more.  Oh, boy!  If “The Simpsons”, “South Park”, and “Family Guy” are any indication, we may expect more celebrities to show up…..