Saturday, November 14, 2020

Friends Revisited


 I initially posted a tribute to a high school friend, but due to his military status, and at his request, I deleted it.  I don’t want to cause him any problems by sharing more information than the general public has a right to know, even if it is positive.  I also note that I addressed the “friends” issue in general back in 2013, so to redo everything I’ll have to reconcile the two to avoid embarrassing friends or repeating my prior blog.  To the friend in question, “das tut mir leid. Entschuldigen Sie, bitte.”  Sadly, circa 2020 he’s the high school friend we meet up with most often. 

 The other high school friend, PH, now lives in Colorado.  He’s never been in the military, but I’ll keep things discreet and refrain from referring to him by name (just initials).  We visited him in Colorado twice, and sometimes his job brought him back to the East Coast, in which case we’d meet up for drinks to catch up. 

 When we grew up in Maryland, we went to Catholic school.  Oddly, none of our neighborhood friends went to that school; all our friends from school lived elsewhere in the Gaithersburg area.  As of 2020 I am not in contact with any of the neighborhood kids anymore.  The nearest neighbor, Paul, went to UMCP initially and I met up with him at the Ellicott cafeteria, but soon thereafter transferred to another college and I haven’t heard from him since.   Of the St. Martin’s crowd, I chat with KR on Facebook but have no other contacts.

 That brings me up to law school.  I’m still friends with JG who lives down in Virginia Beach, and JR who lives near Fair Oaks.  JG has a general practice, whereas JR is mainly in immigration, but licensed in Virginia so he can handle other cases which cross his desk as suit him and his clients.  My close friend JB, with whom I mowed lawns the summer after first year and attended the Grateful Dead at RFK in 1992, moved down to NASCARolina and seems to be doing well there. 

 Question Marks.  My buddy Ken, with whom I went to college at UMCP from 1986-90, disowned me in 2008.  From 1991 to 2008 I visited him in Bloomfield, Ford, and Hillsborough, New Jersey multiple times and attended various concerts with him.  However, in 2008 his wife left him and I made a comment which he took badly.  Everyone else I talked to said the comment was unobjectionable and his reaction was abnormal.   He’s also unfriended me on LinkedIn, of all sites.  I have not physically abused him, insulted him, attacked him, cheated him, or done anything to deserve his contempt.  I just seem to upset him very easily. 

 It’s sad, because Ken turned me on to Blue Cheer, Alice in Chains, King Crimson, and many stoner rock bands, plus he gave me a heads up for the Black Sabbath concert at Richie Coliseum on the Cross Purposes tour in 1994.  More than anyone else I know, he shares my love of obscure and bizarre bands, many of whom he turned me onto.  Sadly, he refuses to even communicate through mutual friends.  Well, that’s his business.  I wish him luck and good fortune wherever he might be. 

 The other is Baron, with whom I went to college.  Here’s a guy who lit up the room and dominated the conversation with an extremely strong personality and immense charisma.  We hung out considerably and got along fine.  After college he moved to New York City and I lost contact with him. 

 What’s strange is that he is completely absent from the Internet, from Facebook, and from LinkedIn.  His background is in finance, not the military or intelligence, so his complete absence from social media is a major mystery.  I’m not aware he had any legal troubles or run-ins with the SEC, which would be the most plausible issues to induce him to keep a low profile.  And he was far from shy or introverted.   

His legacy is “choose to miss out.”  Back when he was a stock broker, he’d have to cold call clients to get them to invest, and naturally not all of them were ready to throw money at him just so he would earn a commission.   But he also had a habit of making an offer which was mostly in his best interest, not yours, and when you declined, he’d shake his head and reply, “sorry you chose to miss out.”   Now we laugh and use the expression whenever we decline similar offers not in our best interests.   

For his sake, I hope Baron is ok, wherever he is, and not in Witness Protection or hiding for any reason.  Maybe he can hook up with Ken – with whom he was friends – and they can share their UMCP memories, such as they might be. 

Without me.      

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