Baby Logan Lucky Driver

Two films I wasn’t sufficiently motivated to see in the theaters, although I saw the movie posters for Logan Lucky in the Paris Metro.  They’re both DVD-worthy but not much else.  Both involve cars & crime and have all-star casts.

Baby Driver.  Baby (Ansel Elgort) is a getaway driver permanently addicted to iPods and mixes.  As a driver, he’s quite effective, though it’s this annoying import drift s**t we’ve been smacked with incessantly in the “Fast & Furious” movies (ZZZ).  The mastermind is Doc (Kevin Spacey).   Baby dates the cute flapper chick from Downton Abbey (Lily James); here she’s a cute waitress.   Flea and Jamie Foxx have roles, as does Don Draper (Jon Hamm), against whom they later face off against.   Lots of action, some modestly clever dialogue, but mostly the convergence of multiple talented actors in a marginally entertaining “robbery & chase” flick.   Here Spacey is kinda phoning it in, as if Frank Underwood has a part-time job as a bank robbery mastermind; likewise, Hamm dials Draper’s moxie and arrogance up just a little as Buddy.  As you might imagine, the prior heists go fairly well, it’s the final one which goes FUBAR.  Baby’s ultimate destiny is probably the one thing which distinguishes this film from hundreds of other similar ones.

Logan Lucky.   A pair of brothers, Jimmy and Clyde (Channing Tatum & Adam Driver) conspire to steal from the Charlotte NASCAR speedway.  In particular, under the midfield there’s a cash receptacle from all the concession stands, which as you might imagine tends to accumulate a larger amount of cash during races.  With the help of a safecracker and his younger brothers (Daniel Craig + Brian Gleeson & Jack Quaid) they manage to weasel it through.   Lots of NASCAR stuff here.   The Winter Soldier, Sebastian Stan, is here as gluten-free NASCAR driver Dayton White, and Seth McFarlane plays a particularly obnoxious and unsympathetic Brit, owner of White’s team.   Darrel Waltrip and Jeff Gordon play themselves.  I’d say it comes together fairly well, so job well done.  By the way, with the beard, Channing Tatum looks like Doug Benson pumped up to XXL.  Maybe they should make a movie together.

I pick Adam Driver to play Roger Waters.  Is it a stretch to pick Leonardo DiCaprio as David Gilmour?  Hit me with your Mason and Wright casting choices.  If the Doors got a movie, we deserve one about Floyd.

House of Cards

I finally finished the second of two seasons of this Netflix Original show.  It’s based on a British show I have no patience or inclination to watch, as someday – like all other mortals – I won’t be alive any longer.  In fact, I’m not getting any younger.  Is anyone?  Anyhow.

It’s January 20, and US President Garrett Walker (Michael Gill) is being sworn in.   Behind the scenes, House Majority Whip (D-SC) Frank Underwood (Kevin Spacey) eagerly awaits the post of Secretary of State, his reward for doing so much to get Walker into the Oval Office.

Not so fast, Frank.  It seems the President has other plans.  Nope, no cabinet posts at all.  “We think you’ll do better right where you are.”  Huh?   Naturally, Frank is not happy.  Naturally, Frank plots his revenge.  Naturally, Frank does not tell the President about these plans.

Early on, he befriends an ambitious-but-cute Washington Post reporter, Zoe Barnes (Kate Mara), feeding her inside stories in between naughty time in her cramped and decrepit DC apartment, much to the jealousy of fellow reporter Lucas Goodwin (Sebastian Arcelus).  Did I mention that the NY bitch from “Boston Legal”, Constance Zimmer, is here too?  She is.  Sorry, no transvestite Uncle Ruckus here.

His wife Claire (Robin Wright, Forrest Gump’s slutty GF) does a good Lady MacBeth here, sharing his intrigue.  Short of sleeping with her twin brother – does she even have one? – she’s just shy of Cersei Lannister for sheer evil, the perfect companion for Frank.  And while he’s nailing Zoe, she’s got her own action with pretentious B&W artsy photographer Adam Galloway (Ben Daniels). 

Season 1 focuses mainly on Frank’s attempt to get a messed up, alcoholic cokehead Rep. from PA, Peter Russo (Corey Stoll, who will be in TWO new movies coming out, but looking exactly the same) elected governor of Pennsylvania.   Predictably, that goes down in flames, but it gets the VP to slide in as the PA Governor and Frank can thus take over as VP, just an embarrassing resignation-to-avoid-impeachment away from the top spot.

Season 2 focuses on an old chum of the President’s, Raymond Tusk (Gerald McRaney), a wealthy businessman from Missouri with big business in China - he even speaks Mandarin.  Never quite friends, it doesn’t take long for Tusk and Frank to start bumping ugly and pissing at each other.  After receiving a nonstop barrage of horrendous advice from Frank, which gets him impeached, the President finally suspects that Frank is up to something – too late.  D’oh!

Not since Iago from Shakespeare’s Othello do we have a villain so deliciously evil as Frank Underwood – yes, that includes Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish (Aiden Gillen) from “Game of Cards”, err… “House of Thrones”….err… “Game of Thrones.” 

Fourth Wall.   Here’s the real brilliance of this show:  Frank likes to talk to the audience.  He faces the camera and shares secrets with us.   It’s even better than Michael Weston’s (Jeffrey Donovan) voice-over narration in “Burn Notice”.   No one else does this, mind you, just Frank.  (Freddy faces the camera: “if they only knew I just went around to Safeway and bought these ribs, then sell them as my own.”)   No matter how evil Frank is, because we’re in on it with him, how can we help but like him?  We’re part of the conspiracy!  D’oh! 

Someone commented on the Net that the series was implausible, as Frank is a little TOO competent.  Even Reagan wasn’t this diabolical, was he?  Nixon?  Clinton?  Can we think of ANY of our Presidents who can compare with him?  Hmm, perhaps not.  Maybe that's a good thing...

But does it really matter?  We know dragons don’t exist, and that doesn’t stop us from watching “Game of Thrones”.  So sink your teeth into it and enjoy.   And wait for Season 3….