Concerts Again

Recently I had four concerts very crammed in together:  Metallica on 5/10 at M&T Bank Stadium, The Obsessed at the Ottobar in Baltimore (5/20), TOOL at the EagleBank Arena (5/24), and Iron Maiden (with Ghost BC opening) at Jiffy Lube Live on June 3.  My brother Matt went with me to Metallica and Iron Maiden, and paid for my ticket too – thank you!   I commented on Metallica earlier, I’ll comment on concerts in general now.

By now I’ve seen over 200 shows since the first in 1984.  Here are my general thoughts and impressions.

Alone?  My ideal companion is my brother.  We see as many shows together as we can.  Occasionally he’ll see Marillion, Transiberian Orchestra, or Jethro Tull by himself (or with his family), but generally we go together.  Now his kids are getting older, they can appreciate shows, so sometimes they come along.  Our parents did not like our type of music and didn’t go to concerts at all.  They were in San Francisco for their honeymoon in 1967 and did not visit Haight Ashbury.  So Matt is conscientious about including his kids – IF they are interested. 

On the other hand, if I’m the only one I know who wants to see a show, I’ll go alone.  All three Tool shows I went to by myself.   If I depended on everyone else, I’d miss a lot of fantastic shows.  It just requires more logistics in getting to and from the show.  But I don’t mind. 

Ages ago, December 2000, I was on the fence about seeing Wishbone Ash.   Andy Powell was the only remaining original member of the band, whose peak years were the early 1970s, including at least one headlining show at Merriweather Post Pavilion on the Wishbone IV tour.   A Namorada Brasileira did not want to go, so it was just me.  Finally I decided, “f**k it, I’ll go.”  Brilliant decision, because not only was Powell on top form, his #2 guitarist, Mark Birch, was also excellent, and the set featured many of their best songs.  To this date I’ve seen the band several times and they’re always fun to watch.    

The Asshole.   Every concert audience has at least one – hopefully the crowd is so large you don’t notice him.  At ‘Maiden it was a guy pushing his way up to the front.  At the UFO show it was a clown yelling for “Rock Bottom” between literally every song, yet “Rock Bottom” is a song the band is guaranteed to play, probably in the encore.  Basically it’s someone who isn’t truly enjoying himself unless he’s ruining it for everyone else.  Alcohol is almost always a factor. 

Generally weed makes the audience more docile and mellow, so the Asshole is almost never present at a Dead show.  In 1992 we had to fight the entire audience on the field for Metallica & Guns N’Roses, yet the audience on the field for Grateful Dead, the same venue, RFK, was cool and mellow.  The sad thing is that musically, I much prefer Metallica and GNR over the Dead; but the Dead audience is far more enjoyable to watch the show with. 

[As an aside:  the nastiest thing about mean drunks is that they KNOW they are mean drunks and they STILL drink anyway.  I say let out all the nonviolent drug offenders – which they should do anyway – and lock up the serial DUIs and drunk abusers.  Prohibition showed us that banning alcohol itself is waste of time, but we should do something about the worst abusers.]

Moshers.  A subset of this.  I don’t think all moshers are drunk assholes, however, too many of them are.  Occasionally the crowd is packed too tight to allow this to happen; also, you can’t do this up in the seated areas.  Other times, the mosh pit is thankfully further back from the stage, allowing those of us who paid to see the BAND PLAY can do so instead of fending off moshers crashing into them. 

At the Black Sabbath concert at Richie Coliseum in 1994, the moshers were out in force for Morbid Angel, somewhat subdued for Motorhead, but when Black Sabbath came on, they were downright obedient, everyone intent and focused on worshipping Tony Iommi.  As it should be.

It was only at a Danzig show in 1994 that I “accepted” the moshing – but still moved away from it. 

“Spinners” are the Dead show equivalent of moshers.  They’re generally SUPER HIGH or dosing and spin away, but generally on the arena concourse, and they don’t bang into each other.  Or it’s the guy on LSD who thinks he’s an amoeba.   Dude at the ELP show in ’86!   WOOHOO!

SHAQ.   If there’s an NBA player in the audience, chances are he’ll make his way to the very front of the audience, right up to the stage, and block everyone else’s view.  To be fair, Shaq is not expressly intent on doing so.  He wants to see the band like everyone else.   He can see over everyone else, but no one else can see over him.  “You make a better door than a window.”

T-shirts Revisited.  The ideal concert t-shirt has the tour dates on the back, and some variant of the latest album cover, NOT a slavish replication thereof, on the front.  I’m conflicted – as I was at the TOOL show – when the optimal front design did NOT have tour dates on the back, whereas the tour-dates-on-back shirt had a dull and boring front design, in this case identical to a shirt I already had.  Ultimately I have to decide:  which shirt looks the best?  And feel free to abstain altogether if none of the shirts are worthwhile. 

Personally, I don’t like highly complex designs.  At the AC/DC show (Rock or Bust), I chose a Back in Black variant.  The others were a confusing mess.  Many of Maiden’s recent designs were a bit too busy.  The same was true of last year’s Black Sabbath shirts.

The other issue is lines.  I missed several songs of the Sabbath set just waiting in line for shirts, although I was fortunately able to hear them.   Then when you get to the front of the line, the shirt you want is out of stock.  And yes, this still happens at a show that’s the first on a tour. 

Kids.    Some people bring their kids to the show.  I have mixed feelings about this.  Very small children are unlikely to enjoy themselves.  Probably 8 or 9 is the youngest.  Moreover, you can’t expect the audience to behave itself simply because you brought your kids, so rampant foul language and possible drug use (usually just marijuana, and LSD and shrooms are orally consumed anyway) may compromise the experience.  I saw a couple bring their 8 year old boy, who did NOT appear to be really enjoying himself.  We’ll see if he changes his tune when he talks to his peers: (“you saw Iron Maiden on their last tour?? Cool!” “Yeah, whatever”). 

What’s That Smell?  You know what I mean:  either sativa or indica.   Sometimes you smell it and can’t identify who is responsible.  Though at Dead and Phish shows, the smell is almost ubiquitous.  

What’s He Doing Here?   I saw one guy at the Maiden show who appeared to be alone and none too excited about the show.  Maybe he was extremely stoned.   For the most part, the audience appears to be very much excited.  Hopefully not expressing that excitement by moshing.

Basic Format & Variations.   Generally the show is at night, with an opening act playing for 30-45 minutes, a brief break, and the headliner playing one 90 minute set, including the encore.  Checking Setlist Wiki, I see that Metallica has played many shows with multiple encores.  The encore is usually 1-3 songs, often the most popular, but sometimes a wildcard.  The Dead play two sets, both 90 minutes, with or without an opening act.  Clash of the Titans, 1991, had three headliners, Anthrax, Slayer, and Megadeth, each playing 45 minutes instead of 90 minutes.

Setlist.  I’ve noted this before:  most bands play the same set (list of songs) every night of the tour.  TOOL and Blue Oyster Cult vary this with one wildcard slot per set.  The Dead, Phish, Widespread Panic and other jam bands play a different set each night.  In the Rush documentary some fan bragged at seeing Rush 40 times.  That means multiple shows on the same tour:  when each night’s set is exactly the same.  Moreover, Rush make it a point to play their songs verbatim as they are on the albums.  Clutch and Pearl Jam are the only non-jam bands I’m aware of which play different sets each night.   Neil Fallon said, “sometimes even I don’t know what we’ll be playing…but it would be too boring playing the same songs each night.” 

“The Whole Album”.  That’s been a recent thing.  Judas Priest played all of British Steel; Rush played all of Moving Pictures; Jethro Tull played all of Aqualung.  Iron Maiden played a set of material from the first four albums (Iron Maiden, Killers, Number of the Beast, Piece of Mind) exclusively.  With the exception of Tull, which played the songs out of sequence and alternating with non-album tracks, these bands played the entire album from start to finish in the same sequence as the original album, which really takes the drama out of the equation.  (Yes, I’m the guy who doesn’t consult Setlist Wiki before the show.  I want to be surprised.) 

With regard to Maiden’s 4 album deal, the problem with that is that when it comes to those songs, it’s always the same songs, e.g. the only song from Killers is “Wrathchild”.  As a practical matter that meant they put “Phantom of the Opera” back in the set – though they’ve played it before with Bruce Dickinson.   In Rush’ case, since side A of MP gets heavy play anyway, it was adding side B (“Camera Eye”, “Witch Hunt”, and “Vital Signs”) to the set. 

Ideally the band should add in songs which have never been played live: “The Necromancer” (Rush), “Thrill of it All” (Black Sabbath), “Strange World” (Iron Maiden), etc.  Rob Halford joked about playing “Run of the Mill” again, but they did add “Never Satisfied” back in recently.  Priest’s early albums have a much different feel which I – and many Priest fans – love. 

Having said all that, the bands I’m referring to are mostly older, and Facebook shows us older rock stars seemingly dropping like flies.  Sabbath had to tour with Tommy Clufetos on drums because Bill Ward was unfit to tour (and has been for decades).  I appreciate that they tour at all, so I can’t give them too much grief for unimaginative setlists.   Keep up the good work, as long as you can, and we’ll keep seeing you, as long as we can.    

Concert T-Shirts

I had addressed this issue briefly in my Tool & Concerts blog, but now it’s time to go into a little more detail.

Concert t-shirts seem to be available for any major artist who tours, but they are the specialty of rock bands, particularly metal bands.  You’ll see Maiden shirts worn around, but when’s the last time you saw someone wearing a Janet Jackson shirt, a Mariah Carey shirt, or a Madonna shirt?  The black tour shirt is undeniably associated with the likes of Metallica, Ozzy Osbourne, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Motorhead, Slayer, Anthrax, AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Dio, Motley Crue, Skid Row, etc.

I’m not a manager and don’t pretend to grasp the economics of rock bands, but my understanding (especially after hearing of Marillion’s dispute with a venue over this issue) is that bands make a considerable amount of money on t-shirts and other merchandise sold at the venues, more so than the albums or concert tickets.

So it’s a little bizarre when it seems some bands, notably Wishbone Ash and Blue Oyster Cult, seem to offer a spectacularly poor and dull array of t-shirts – indeed, almost as an afterthought.  “Oh, by the way, here are some t-shirts you might want to buy.”  The WA shirt was a baseball-style (white with long black sleeves) that simply had “Wishbone Ash” in baseball-style script, whereas BOC usually give us the first album graphic yet again, or simply their Cronos/Saturn cross logo with the band name (ZZZ).  Occasionally Godzilla or the Reaper will reappear, but by now those are too traditional and boring to catch my imagination.  Iron Maiden and Judas Priest, however, appear to put far more imagination and creativity into this “art form”, you might call it.

Front.  The least imaginative image to grace the front of a metal t-shirt is simply the album cover of the most recent album, but this appears to be the default.  Some bands will screw around with this and offer some sort of clever variation (again, Maiden are the best for this).  Jethro Tull seem to default to Aqualung or Ian Anderson standing on one leg playing his flute, or Broadsword and the Beast; Floyd tend to pull out the ubiquitous pig or Dark Side prism.  Occasionally something really remarkable will fly out from the twisted brains of the t-shirt designers.  I still have my Metallica “Metal Up Your Ass” shirt I bought at Donington in 1985 (the ONLY shirt Metallica was selling – as if I had a choice!) with the hand coming up from a toilet with an army knife.  And long lost, and long missed, is my Scorpions “Crazy World” shirt with the “scorpion” made up of various provocatively built and dressed women.  The all time best for sleazy and inappropriate is, of course, Whitesnake’s Lovehunter, which I had in shirt form before I was even aware the album existed, which shows a very well built, and very naked, woman, riding a very large snake coiled up and arching its hood at her.

Back. Unchained from the “album cover” motif, the back of a shirt is the band’s opportunity to draw on a tabla rasa and give us something special.  A blank back is a real cop-out.  Actually, as unoriginal as they might be, I prefer tour dates on the back, unless it’s something knock-down, drag-out amazing.  Examples: Yngwie Malmsteen (“Yngwie FUCKING Malmsteen!”), Motorhead (“Born to Lose, Live to Win” with the Ace of Spades), and my favorite, Monster Magnet (“Space Lord MOTHER FUCKER”).  From a European tour of Pink Floyd (Delicate Sound of Thunder tour – a tour of a live album??) the map of Europe with each country filled in with its flag, and PINK FLOYD in Cyrillic lettering.

Variants.  For a long time, the baseball jersey – by which I mean, white shirt with long black sleeves – was popular.  In more recent years, colors other than black or white popped up.  My brother got a great shirt in deep, dark navy blue from Marillion, and I got grey shirts from Tool, Queens of the Stone Age, and Orange Goblin.  Back in 1986, when Accept were on their Russian Roulette Tour, they even offered shirts in olive drab.  Actual baseball variants – with buttons down the front – have popped up, and Metallica had a very pricey hockey jersey.  Iron Maiden – again, thinking outside the box! – has issued several soccer jerseys.

Tie Dyes.  Typically this is the realm of the Grateful Dead, though some other bands try to lock into this genre.  The Allman Brothers are probably the #2 band for this; I find Ratdog (Bobby Weir’s band) or Phil Lesh & Friends to be derivative of the Dead and part and parcel of the same act.  Usually you conceive of a tie dye as being appropriate for a jam band like GD or AB, so when AC/DC or KISS tries to do it, it seems a little stupid.  Having said that, I’ve bought an AC/DC tie dye – only because it looked so damn good – and a Jethro Tull tie dye (because it was the best one of any shirt they had for sale).  I have a Hawkwind tie dye from the Space Bandits tour, unfortunately a time when I was still buying shirts in L and not XL.

Sizes & shrinkage.  The other thing is washing the hell out of your black t-shirt to give it the “veteran dark grey” look.  One of my favorites is my Iron Maiden “Trooper” shirt which definitely fits that description.  We used to get shirts in M or L back when we were teenagers.  Now that I’m older and a little bigger (!) than I was in 1988, I buy in XL and find they usually fit OK, even after a few runs through the dryer at maximum heat (permanent press?  What’s that?).  A well-worn, dark grey shirt that clearly used to be black shows the rest of the metaleiros that you’ve been going to concerts for some time and didn’t buy your t-shirt at Macy’s or Sears (right, they were opening for Hannah Montana in a store concert).

What to wear, what to wear?  I mentioned earlier about the food court druids at metal shows, who can’t be content to simply wear the usual metal uniform of “black concert t-shirt and jeans” but have to do this trench coat, eyeliner crap, or for the ladies, the fishnet stockings & Doc Martens deal.  The comic “Cathy” would have us believe that it’s only men who have no self-consciousness, but I’ve seen too many girls at metal shows who dress provocatively, only to demonstrate how many meals they haven’t missed.   For every Tawny Kitaen (inevitably there with her Lorenzo Lamas-lookalike biker boyfriend) there are 4-5 Kirstie Alleys, there with their Comic Book Guy boyfriends. 

            These days I’m too jaded to bother even wearing a concert t-shirt and just wear whatever I happen to be wearing that day, usually a soccer jersey.  In the past I might have worn a shirt from the band I’m actually going to see.  Is that some sort of violation, a metal fashion faux pas? (Droz: "You're wearing the shirt of the band you're going to see?  Don't be that guy!").  Sometimes it seems the goal is to wear the oldest shirt you have, in some sort of pissing contest with the other veterans.  “You have a Born Again tour jersey?  I have Never Say Die!”  “Pssst, I have you both beat! I have a Polka Tulk tour shirt!”  Ultimately, though, since we usually buy a shirt at the show, and it’s more convenient to wear a shirt than to carry it around with you (and maybe lose it) you end up putting it on over whatever shirt you so carefully picked out at home and end up looking exactly the same as 50% of the audience who are doing exactly the same thing.

After the show.  Now we’re in our late 30s, with regular jobs.  We’re not in high school anymore.  Metal shirts aren’t even acceptable as casual wear, more like “here’s what you wear when mowing the lawn, painting the house, or changing the oil in your minivan.” It’s reached the point where the only place you can wear them is...at metal shows!  I joked that they need to make concert ties for us to wear with suits – or better yet, entire suits (jacket and pants).  If you can get a real tattoo at an Ozzfest, why not a tailored suit?  Well, at the AC/DC show we’ll make sure the suit pants are actually shorts, so you can go to work the day after an AC/DC show in the Angus outfit and instead of shocked stares, you get “whoa, cool, Angus, man!” in the hallway.

Come to think of it, the demographic at a KISS or Aerosmith show is fairly skewed towards the older edge of the age spectrum.  The Ozzfest does attract the teenagers, mainly due to all the Slipknot, Disturbed, and other crappy bands that pass for metal these days; we may disagree with Sharon Osbourne fairly often, but she does know which bands draw in the under-20 demographic.  I saw Tesla in 2004, and the person I went with – all of 20 years old – was still young enough to be the daughter of the average audience member.  (Rolling Stones: Steel Wheelchairs Tour!  Jethro Tull: Too Old To Rock’n’Roll, Too Young To Die).