American V8 Engines

 

I’ve commented on the Pontiac 400 cubic inch V8, and the Chevrolet 305 V8.  Now I want to ease back and give you bigger picture.

Pull the cord on a gas-powered lawn mower, and you’ve got a single cylinder gas engine spinning a blade around to cut your lawn.  Look under the hood of a Citroen Deux Chevaux (DCV) and you’ll see a flat two cylinder engine.  Most economy cars have 4 cylinder engines, mostly inline, with Saab, VW and Porsche making flat 4s, and V4s exclusively in motorcycles.  Their upscale brethren can usually be found with six cylinder engines:  straight six (favored by BMW), V6s (most of the others), and flat sixes (Subaru and Porsche).  But the most epic of these is the V8.  Eight cylinders, two banks of four, generally 90 degrees apart.  The V8 replaced the straight (inline) 8, which lasted until the mid 1950s.

Despite the advent of modern electric motors, gasoline V8s are still around and will be for some time.  Even if electric cars completely replace ICE (internal combustion engines) on showroom floors, that does nothing about the millions of existing gas powered vehicles which won’t be magically transformed into electric cars overnight – if ever.  That being the case, they are still relevant, and thus V8s are still relevant as well.

Straight Eights.  While the V configuration (two banks of 4 cylinders at a 90 degree angle) is most common – and I haven’t seen a flat (horizontally opposed) 8 (Porsche used one in racing cars, but no production cars) – inline 8 cylinder engines were popular in the 1930s, 40s, and into the 50s before being phased out in favor of V8s.  Most American companies made straight eights, though Cadillac stuck with V8s, V12s and even V16s.  Buick’s straight eight was distinctive for using a more modern overhead valve format, while the rest of the straight eights used flathead (L head) engines. 

Flathead vs. overhead valve vs. overhead cam.   Flathead engines have the valves (intake and exhaust) in the block itself, leaving the cylinder head little more than a cover through which the spark plugs poke into the combustion chamber.  OHV and OHC engines have the valves in the cylinder heads.  OHV engines locate the camshaft, which opens and closes the valves, in the block, linked to the valves by lifters, pushrods, and rocker arms.  OHC engines put the camshaft(s) in the cylinder head itself, directly opening and closing the valves.  Although the OHC system is marginally superior, Chevrolet still uses the OHV format for its current LS engines. 

Ford Flathead (1932).  While Chevrolet had an ill-fated V8 in 1916, the first popular V8 was the Ford Flathead, debuting in 1932.  Instead of being a luxury car engine, this was mass-produced, so most Americans could drive a car with this V8.  Not only were the cars themselves popular, but the V8 started the trend of hot-rodding, birthing the performance aftermarket.  The main two displacements were 221 (3.6L) and 239 (3.9L), maxing out at 85 HP.  Although Cadillac (1948) and Oldsmobile (1949) came out with their overhead valve (OHV) (modern style) V8s earlier, it was the Small Block Chevy V8 (1955) which toppled the Ford Flathead from the throne.  Ford phased out the flathead in 1953, replacing it with its Y block (OHV) series in 1954.

Small Block Chevy 1955.  Introduced in 1955 in 265 cubic inches, later growing to 283 (1958), 327 (1962), 350 (1967), and 400 (1970), with the 305 (5.0L) coming into the picture in 1976 as a fuel-economy variant.  The 400 was never very popular, leaving the 350 (5.7L) as the optimal size for performance.  The SBC went into Novas, Camaros (in which the 350 debuted), Chevelles, Corvettes, Bel Airs, station wagons, vans, and pickup trucks – plus marine versions as well.  By 1998 the LS engines took over and are now the favored hot rod engines.  But while the SBC is no longer under the hood of anything you can go into a GM dealer and buy today, it’s still available as a crate engine from GM (as is the LS).

Innovations of the SBC:  very light – even lighter than the stovebolt (Chevrolet) straight six; well breathing cylinder heads with stud-mounted rocker arms (though it was Pontiac which invented this innovation); and a one piece intake manifold which also covered the lifter valley (contrast with Pontiac’s two piece manifold).   Mass produced with excellent power for its weight, the small block Chevy knocked the Ford flathead off its throne.   

The Big Three.   That would be General Motors, Ford, and Chrysler.   GM consists of Chevrolet, Pontiac, Oldsmobile, Buick, and Cadillac.  Ford includes Mercury, Edsel, and Lincoln.  Chrysler also includes Dodge and Plymouth (also known as"MOPAR").

Other, defunct car companies also made their own V8s; of these, American Motors (AMC) lasted the longest.  Popular displacements included 304, 343, 360, 390, and the largest, the 401.  Like many V8s of a given series, they were the same size externally; like Pontiac, AMC did not have “big blocks” or “small blocks”.  Oddball AMC models like the Gremlin and Pacer could be purchased with the 304 – and hotrodded with the 401, which would otherwise be in the Javelin (muscle car) or full size models.  Studebaker, Packard, and International Harvester also made their own V8s.

Hot Rodding.  An engine’s “displacement” is the cubic volume of its cylinders (leaving aside rotary engines, only made by Mazda, for the purpose of this discussion).  A cylinder has a height (stroke) and diameter (bore).  An engine makes power by bringing in air, mixing that with a specific ratio – 14.7:1 (stoichiometric) – of fuel, and igniting that mixture with a spark plug.  The larger the cylinder, the more air can be thus processed, and thus more power.  However, the bore and stroke are internal dimensions; the external dimensions generally remain the same.

Although Pontiac, unlike other GM divisions, did not have “small” and “big” blocks, it stratified its V8s into three parallel series.  The smaller engines, the 326 and 350, served as entry level.  The larger engines, the 389 and 400, were mid-level, and the larger engines, the 421, 428, and 455, were reserved for the full size cars – the Bonneville and Catalina.  However, all these engines are the same size externally.  One Saturday morning back in 1963, the Pontiac techs and engineers, led by John DeLorean, realized that the 389 V8 would drop into the entry-level sized LeMans in place of the 326 it was being sold with.  The 389-equipped LeMans was much faster and more fun to drive.  “Pity we can’t sell it with that engine,” they thought.  “Well, we can – as an option” – the GTO.  An instant success! 

GM vs. the others.  With Ford/Mercury and Chrysler, the corporate family shared engines across divisions.  Cadillac and Lincoln make their own engines, which have more in common with each other than with their division brothers.  GM, until 1982, had each division making its own, which caused some confusion.  Chevrolet, Pontiac, Oldsmobile and Buick all had 350 cubic inch V8s, all four being completely different.  All four had a 400 cubic V8, again all completely different.  Chevrolet’s largest big block was a 454, while Buick, Olds and Pontiac (“BOP”) all had a 455 – and all were different.

I have to laugh at this.  In the early 70s, GM started switching around V8s in its different divisions, without telling the customers, assuming they didn’t know or care – and many of them didn’t.  Until…one Oldsmobile customer (Joseph Siwek) brought his brand new 1977 Olds Delta 88 into the local Olds dealer for service.  The tech gave him back his Olds V8 parts, telling him the Chevrolet (not Oldsmobile) 350 V8 in his new car didn’t need them.  “Chevrolet V8?  But I bought an Oldsmobile!”  Tech shrugs, “I guess they’re putting Chevrolet V8s in Oldsmobiles now.”  This irate customer sued GM for false advertising and won.  They didn’t stop the policy, but the court ordered that they add a fine print disclaimer to the sales material warning customers that their GM vehicle might be equipped with an engine made by a different division of GM.  Automotive History: The 1977 Oldsmobile Chevrolet Engine Scandal – There’s No Rocket In My 88’s Pocket | Curbside Classic

The most pertinent example of this was when Pontiac stopped making V8s in 1981, and all 1982- (third and fourth) generation Firebirds wound up with a Chevrolet V8 under the hood.  This was even more tragic because until the 350 became available in 1987, the best Chevrolet V8 you could get in a Firebird was a 305, most of which struggled to reach 200 HP.  In addition to putting out considerably more horsepower than the 305, the 350 also puts out far more torque and responds much better to performance modifications, which is why it remains the most popular displacement of the classic small block Chevy V8. 

GM has a pecking order of its divisions.  The basic idea is that a GM customer would start out with a Chevrolet, and progressively upgrade to the other divisions as he/she got better jobs.  Trade your Chevrolet in for a Pontiac, trade your Pontiac in for an Oldsmobile, trade your Oldsmobile in for a Buick, and finally upgrade to a Cadillac.  Failing the last, most hearses (station wagons used to transport coffins) are made by Cadillac, meaning your last ride is likely to be in a Cadillac, even if you’re not alive to enjoy it.

Chevrolet.  I’ve already described the revolutionary small block.  In addition, there are two big block series.  The first was the W block variety, from 1958-64, in 348, 409, and 427 cubic inch displacements.  The 409 features in the Beach Boys’ song of the same name: “my four speed dual quad positraction 409”.  The valve covers look like inverted W’s, but the heads didn’t flow nearly well enough.  So they started from scratch with the big block (1965-76 in passenger cars), in 396/402, 427, and 454 displacements.  The big block remains in existence as a crate engine, a monster 632 cubic inch, 1000 HP behemoth, which will presumably drop in where a 396, 427 or 454 used to be. 

LS Engines.  With the notable exception of the ZL1 427, all Chevrolet V8s have iron blocks.  Corvettes received aluminum cylinder heads on its TPI engines, but the block itself remained iron.  In between the Tuned Port Injected 350 (L98) in Firebirds, Camaros and Corvettes was the LT1 V8, with aluminum cylinder heads, reverse flow cooling, and Optispark ignition, bringing power from 240 (L98) to 275 (LT1).  But GM started from scratch with an aluminum block for the LS engines, the current standard V8s.  4.8, 5.3 and 6.0L displacements are in trucks, 5.7L and 6.0L in Camaros and Corvettes, all the way up to 7.0L for its most powerful versions. 

Pontiac.  Its three series of V8s are noted above.  Add to this the 265/301 from 1980-81, a last-ditch effort, including turbocharging the 301 in Trans Ams and Formulas.  Pontiac brought its V8 out in 1955, the same year as Chevrolet.  As noted, Pontiac is closest to Chevrolet in the pecking order.  Oddly, when it came time to make the F body (Camaro and Firebird), Oldsmobile wanted in, but GM thought a third variant would thin the market out too much.  So they thew Olds the bone of allowing them to jazz up the Cutlass with the Hurst/Olds model in 1968, silver and black with the 455 V8.  Imagine an alternate universe where you have Oldsmobile F-bodies in 1967-69, 1970-81, 1982-92, and 1993-2002.  Mind.  Blown. 

As noted, Pontiac doesn’t have big or small blocks, and its V8s range from 326 to 455.  In addition to the small block, Chevy has the big block, generally in 396, 427, and 454 displacements.  Pontiac dropped 455s in Firebird Formulas and Trans Ams in the 1970s, from 1971-76, while Chevrolet never did the same with Camaros – and it phased out the 396 after 1972.  Dealers like Yenko (in Pennsylvania) or Baldwin-Motion (on Long Island) may have dropped 427s and 454s into Chevys themselves. 

Pontiac cylinder heads.  The standard heads have semi-circular exhaust ports, so-called “D” port.  The Ram Air II, IV, 455HO and SD455 heads have round ports.  The round port heads flow much better than the D ports, which is why those engines are the top Pontiac V8s.  When Edelbrock decided to make aluminum versions of Pontiac cylinder heads, they used the Ram Air IV heads as a starting point, although their aluminum heads actually have D ports – but the “D” is on its side.

My closest experience with Pontiac V8s came in 1998, when I purchased a 400 out of a Trans Am which had gone bad.  I put it on a stand in my parents’ garage and gradually broke it down to the block itself.  The machine shop confirmed that the block and crank were history, so they went into the trash.  The heads were “6X”, a later D-port variant (no Firebirds after 1974 have round port heads).  I took out all 16 valves and cleaned them, later having some of the parts bead blasted and painted.  I still have some of the parts (oil filler tube guide). 

Oh, and Pontiac is named after a famous Native American chief from the Detroit area.  Its earlier logo was an Indian head, and later switched to a down-pointing red arrowhead. 

Oldsmobile.  Oldsmobile was second, after Cadillac, to produce an OHV V8 (1949).  Small blocks include the 330, 350, and 403.  The 403 replaced the Pontiac 400 in 1979 Trans Am automatic transmission applications (“6.6 Litre”) for 185 HP, vs. the 4 speed manual Pontiac 400 (“T/A 6.6”) with 220 HP. Big blocks include the 400, 425, and 455.  Someone put an Olds 455 from a 1972 F-85 in my 76 Firebird.  Someday I might even get it running.  Olds V8s have rear mounted distributors and an oil filler tower in the front of the engine, as opposed to simply a cap on the valve covers most V8s use.

Oldsmobile’s logo features an uprising rocket, with “Rocket” frequently invoked in the name.  [Clutch: “My Rocket 88, fastest in the land, crucial, crucial, VELOCITY!”].    

Buick.  Small blocks range from their aluminum 215, all the way up to 350.  Big blocks include 400, 430, and 455.  Somewhat confusingly, the big block series replaced the first V8 series (1953-64) (the Nailhead, due to small valves) which ranged from 264 to 425 cubic inches, including a 401 cubic inch variant.  Buick V8s have front mounted distributors.    

Cadillac.  The first GM division to produce an OHV V8, in 1948.  This series lasted all the way the 1970s, ranging from 331 cubic inches all the way to 500 cubic inches, the largest displacement V8 engine ever available in a US car.  And since the Cadillac V8 isn’t much larger than any other, some hot rodders will drop a Cadillac 500 into another car. 

Northstar and Blackwing.  While the non-Chevrolet V8s – except for Oldsmobile diesel V8s – died in 1982, Cadillac, being GM’s luxury division, kept their own V8s.  For awhile these were the Northstar engines (1993-2011): all aluminum, shared with Oldsmobile, and capable of running without coolant.  The newest Cadillac V8 is a new design, the Blackwing, a 4.2L twin turbo OHC V8, from 2018-2020.

Moving off from General Motors…

Ford.  Ford eventually phased out its flathead V8 and joined the rest.  Then it came up with a variety of different families and displacements.   302 (5.0L) is probably the most popular, winding up with a carburetor and then EFI in 1979-93 Fox body Mustangs, often with the 5 speed manual (5.0 5 speed).  The 351 can either be a 351 Windsor (same family as the 302) or Cleveland (different family).  For larger engines, there’s the 427, the 428 (including the 428 Cobra Jet), 429 (Cobra Jet and BOSS), and the 460.  Then they phased out the 5.0L in favor of a new design 4.6L, and then went back to 5.0L displacement for a new version of the engine.  To be honest, I’ve never been much of a fan of Mustangs.

Ford V8s – Post Flathead.  Part 1: Y Block (1954-64).  As noted, the Flathead was retired in 1953, replaced with the Y block, which was a more modern OHV design.  The Y blocks have a strange intake setup where the ports are on top of each other rather than side by side.  The lifter design, solid lifters adjusted by the rocker arms, was the most troublesome part of the design.

Part 2:  Windsor/90 Degree (1964 – present).  260, 289, 302, 351W.  Of these the 289 was common in the first Mustangs, and the 302 more common in Fox body Mustangs as the “5.0L”. 

Part 3.  335 Series (1970-75).  351 and 400, with the 351 Cleveland (named after the factory they were made in) the most popular.

Part 4.  FE Series (1958-76).  390, 427, and 428 are the most famous examples.  And the most famous of these is the 428 Cobra Jet, arguably the best street V8 Ford made in the muscle car era (1964-75).

Part 5.  385 Series (1968-75).  429 and 460.  The largest engines Ford made.  These include the Boss 429, the closest thing to a hemi engine Ford made. 

Chrysler.  Small blocks:  318 (5.2L), 340, 360 (5.9L) are the most popular displacements.  The small block Mopar V8 can be recognized by its rear-mounted distributor.  Big blocks: 383, 413, 426, and 440 are the most popular displacements. These include the 440 Six Pack (three two barrel carburetors) and the 426 Hemi.  A 360 will drop in place of a 318, a 440 in place of a 383, but the Hemi heads are so much larger and the engine so much wider, that fitting a Hemi in car that didn’t come with it is not an easy task.  There was actually an earlier Hemi V8 in the 1950s, distinguished by its rear mounted distributor; the 66-71 Hemi has its distributor in the front. 

In 2006 MOPAR resurrected the Hemi as a modern, fuel injected engine in 5.7L and 6.1L (later 6.4L) displacements in the Magnum, Charger R/T, Challenger R/T, and Chrysler 300.  All have two spark plugs per cylinder with individual coils on each cylinder.  I had a 2009 Charger R/T from 2015 to 2020, which had the standard 5.7L Hemi (370 HP).  The SRT8 version, in 6.1L, had 420 HP.  Then they upped the ante with a supercharger, the Hellcat, putting out 700 HP.  Although MOPAR has announced the end of gas engine Chargers and Challengers, the Hellcat V8 is available as a crate engine – should you have the $$$.

Again, the trend seems to be to phase out ICE engines for electric motors, but given the extremely limited recharging infrastructure and length of time necessary to recharge – compared to filling up your gas tank in 5 minutes – the full transition is years down the road, so to speak, if ever.  And crate engines suffice if we need to replace an older V8 with a new one.  LS swaps have become more common and popular among GM owners, as the LS engine is light (all aluminum), reliable, and not only powerful in stock form, but respond well to a richly developed aftermarket. 

Tuned Port Injection

 Back to cars again.  I joined a TPI site on Facebook and was surprised to see how many enthusiasts there still are for this GM variant of port fuel injection, which only came on Camaro Z/28s/IROCs, Firebird Formula and Trans Ams, and Corvettes, and only between 1985 and 1992 on 5.0L and 5.7L V8s.  With GM’s LS-series V8s being the current performance standard among the GM crowd, that tuned port injection still has many adherents is a remarkable surprise.  My own L98 is still languishing in a machine shop in Fairfax, Virginia, rebuilt, balanced and blueprinted with a new camshaft and aluminum cylinder heads since the donor vehicle (intense weeping) burned up in 2012. 

Carburetors.   Before any form of fuel injection, there were carburetors to mix air and fuel so an engine could make the car go.  Carburetors use a venturi inside the barrel to suck gas up and mix it with air.  They’re sized in “barrels” depending on the engine they go on.  Four and six cylinder engines typically get one barrel carburetors, six and eight cylinder engines get two barrels, and V8s usually get four barrels.  The Rochester QuadraJet is GM’s most popular and common four barrel carburetor (and what’s on my ’76 Firebird’s Olds 455 right now), the Carter AFB (Aluminum Four Barrel), now made by Edelbrock, is a popular alternative, and Holley has traditionally made aftermarket four barrels.  The ’67-69 Firebird Sprint had an overhead cam straight six with a four barrel (QJet) – Delorean was proud of that, but no one else seemed to care. 

Generally a well-tuned four barrel is all a V8 needs, but some have even more.  The Pontiac Tri-Power (1964-66 GTO) and Mopar Six-Pack set up had three two barrels.  For idle and part throttle, the engine ran off just the middle (inboard) two barrel carburetor, and at larger throttle openings up to WOT (wide open throttle, pedal all the way down to the floor) the outboard two barrels would open up, for a total of six barrels.  Some engines went even further: the ’67-69 (first generation) Camaro Z/28 had two four barrel carburetors on its fairly small 302 cubic inch V8, and the 426 Hemi had two Carter AFBs, a total of 8 barrels, aka a “dual quad” setup.   I haven’t seen a dual quad setup with QuadraJets, though.  Listen to “409” by the Beach Boys, citing the “four-speed, dual-quad, positraction 409”. 

Mechanical Fuel Injection.  Engineers weren’t satisfied with carburetors and tried mechanical fuel injection in the late 50s.  The Corvette, some Pontiac Bonnevilles and Chrysler 300s, got this deal, but mechanics were hard-pressed to work on them due to their rarity.  Mercedes insisted on putting mechanical fuel injection on all their cars from 1959 to the early 70s, at which point they switched to electronic fuel injection.   And literally all diesel engines, by design, have mechanical fuel injection.  Diesels inject the fuel directly into the cylinder on the firing stroke, which ignites immediately upon hitting the highly compressed hot air in the cylinder.  Mechanical fuel injection never managed to effectively compete with carburetors. 

Electronic Fuel Injection.   Carburetors are actually fairly complex, as they have to handle all the different fuel needs of the engine mechanically.   For cold start conditions, there’s a choke.  For idle, when the throttle is closed (e.g. at a stoplight) there’s an idle circuit.  For off-the-line boost, there’s an accelerator pump. 

But imagine if you simply had 4, 6, or 8 injectors, connected to a computer, which pulse on and off to inject fuel.  The computer could ascertain how much pulsewidth to use, and simply pulse the injectors on and off.  If the engine still doesn’t have enough fuel for its needs with the injectors continuously open, simply upgrade to larger injectors or higher fuel pressure.   Moreover, a performance makeover is as simple as replacing the EFI chip (PROM) or reprogramming the ECM (electronic control module) with a unit designed for that purpose.  And if any sensor is reporting back bizarre readings outside its normal range, the computer can shoot back a trouble code, to give the engine some self-diagnostic capability.

EFI got its start in the 1950s, but back then computers ran on vacuum tubes, not nearly as small or fast to run an engine in real time.  Bendix, which had started the whole thing, sold its rights to Bosch.  When transistors came around in the 1960s, Bosch was finally able to develop a practical ECM, and thus K-Jetronic debuted on 1968 model year VWs.  In 1972, Mercedes switched over to EFI on all its cars, and in 1976 Cadillac and Lincoln started as well.  In the early 80s, computers had gotten even better, so the Big Three could finally put EFI on more mundane cars like Chevrolets, Pontiacs, Fords, Dodges and Plymouths.

Throttle Body Injection.  Port fuel injection has an injector at each cylinder.  When I bought my 1992 Pontiac Firebird (not the Formula), it had a 5.0L V8.  On top of the engine was the familiar circular air cleaner with the snorkel.  Huh?  This 1992 car has a carburetor?  Nope – spin the wing nut off the air cleaner cover and voila – two egg-like things with wires pointing down in what looks like a carburetor but isn’t: the throttle body supplying fuel to all 8 cylinders.  TBI is a mid-range system in between carburetors and port fuel injection.

TUNED PORT INJECTION.  Finally getting to my subject.  By 1985 GM had developed a performance port fuel injection system for the Corvette, Camaro and Firebird.  Dropped onto the small block Chevy V8 in 5.0L (LB9) and 5.7L (L98) size, the system made between 205 and 230 HP on the LB9 (the higher rating on T5 manual engines) and 225 and 245 HP on the L98.  Most of those got the 700R4 automatic transmission, as GM knew only Corvette owners would be willing to pay $3000 just to get a five speed manual ZF transmission. 

The TPI setup has a baseplate, a pair of runners, a plenum, 8 injectors on a fuel rail with a fuel pressure regulator, and a throttle body.  It has a distributor, HEI, either in-cap or external coil.  Supposedly the whole setup is optimized for 5.0L V8s and is a bit restrictive on 5.7L V8s.  Naturally the aftermarket has made larger runners, a larger baseplate (apparently the plenum is not the choke point) and larger throttle body plates.   My own L98 was upgraded with SLP parts: larger, siamesed runners, plus headers, a larger throttle body, 3” exhaust, a performance PROM, etc. for a total of 50 HP over the stock rating, thus 290 HP.  On my watch I added a TPIS baseplate and upgraded the transmission and rear end (3.73 rear ratio).

Again, 1992 was the last model year any GM vehicle had this system, and the LS motors are GM’s current performance standard.  But I’m still seeing strong interest in TPI engines, often transplanted into trucks and other cars other than Camaros, Firebirds or Corvettes.  Naturally those cars are also getting LS swaps. 

C4 (1984-96) Corvettes have a clamshell hood which hinges up from the front, not only on top but around the sides, leaving the top of the front tires exposed.  In Camaros, the TPI intake flows straight forward and splits into two inlets in front of the engine.  On Firebirds, the TPI intake takes a 90 degree right turn and winds up taking its air from a box at the front right corner of the engine compartment.   Camaro TPI air filters are small and square, while the Firebird TPI air filter is a short cylinder. 

More power.  For those wanting more, there were nitrous setups for TPI engines, bolting on between the throttle body and the plenum.  Nitrous is really only practical for drag racing cars, though.  Paxton and Vortech both made supercharger setups which bolted to the front and pumped air into the throttle body.  Of course, nowadays the most often advice would be to swap in an LS motor.  Not having driven any late model GM cars (1998 or later) with those engines I can’t comment.  And I’m still trying to find an ’88-92 Firebird Formula to drop in that rebuilt L98 sitting in the machine shop….

Pontiac Builds Excitement?

Ehh, not so much.  Until the late 50’s, Pontiac was little more than a conservative, boring, upscale version of Chevrolet.  With Bunkie Knudsen, Jim Wangers, and John DeLorean, Pontiac truly did build excitement.  The GTO in 1964, the Firebird in 1967, the 1969 Grand Prix, the Trans Am throughout the 70s (especially with the Screaming Chicken hood bird), the TPI Formula and Trans Am from ’87-92 (and the 1989 20^th Anniversary Trans Am with the turbo Buick 3.8L V6), the LT1 and LS1 Formula and Trans Am, the ’04-06 GTO, and finally the supercharged Grand Prix and Bonneville SSEi.  These were all bad-ass cars.  They really were exciting, far more so than Chevrolet as an aggregate, which has to be all things to all people and is thus nothing to anyone.  Sure they have the Corvette, but the Camaro has always paled compared to its flashier and more interesting Pontiac cousin.

Now what do we have?  The Firebird was killed in 2002.  The GTO was let go after the 2006 model year.  The Solstice doesn’t come with a V8.  There are no plans for a ’09-10 Firebird (despite the Camaro’s return) or a new GTO.  And let’s look at the 2008 model year lineup.

G5.  Coupe and GT version.  Looks like this is the Sunbird >> Sunfire, given the new numerical name (like BMWs and like the idiotic 1000/6000 deal during the 80s).  Even allowing for being the same car, “G5” doesn’t hit me in the nuts like Sunfire does, not that that name is really all that great either (but it does beat Sunbird).

G6.  Coupe, sedan, and convertible.  This is the Grand Am, which has always been a boring car, made even duller by reducing it to a number.  Is a Grand Am convertible really so special?  I don’t think so.

G8.  Formerly the Bonneville – which evokes the image of the high-speed salt flats in Utah – and now just vague number, and now the flagship since the GTO was abandoned after the 2006 model year.  The GT model has the 6.0L V8 putting out 361 HP.  Nice power and balls, but still not as exciting as the Solstice.

Grand Prix.  Not quite 1969 with a 428, but OK.  The sedan gets the 200 HP 3.8L V6 which was the base Firebird engine.  The GXP gets a 303 HP 5.3L V8.  I do like the styling of this one, particularly the GXP.

Torrent.  SUV-type POS.  Who in his or her right mind would buy a Pontiac SUV?  That just boggles the mind.  Why not let GMC make a Solstice variant – a “professional grade” heavy duty work roadster?  Come on.   I guess the idea was that they needed a Montana replacement but felt an SUV was better than a minivan.  But I’m as hardcore a Pontiac loyalist as anyone else, but if a gun was put to my head and I had to buy a minivan or SUV, I can’t see myself justifying a Torrent purchase out of mere loyalty to Pontiac.

Vibe.  Aka the Toyota Matrix.  A station wagon that thinks it’s cool.  No, it’s a station wagon.  I suppose we should be grateful it’s not the Aztek, but that doesn’t say much.  Maybe they thought they’d let the Scion Xb take the prize for ugliest car on the planet.  Advice: UGLY is not a substitute for EXCITING.

Solstice.  The GXP version has a turbo, knocking the I4 up to 260 HP.  Not bad, but according to anyone who’s tried, a V8 slips into a Solstice with no problem.  So why isn’t it offered from the factory with a V8?  One word: CORVETTE.  DeLorean tried to do this back in the 60s, and GM slammed him down and made him adapt the Camaro, which became the Firebird.  DeLorean later admitted that GM was right.  But now, we have no more GTO and no plans to make a Firebird, so giving the Solstice a V8 makes sense.  Come on: Corvette enthusiasts are always going to buy Corvettes; and the market for a V8 Solstice is there, doing so would help Pontiac without hurting Chevrolet.

Next year?  An El Camino variant of the G8 (the “sport truck”); the G8 GXP (essentially the GTO engine dropped into an equally lamely styled G8); and the Solstice Coupe, which gets a targa top, which actually makes sense and looks better than the Solstice convertible with the top up.  Unfortunately the coupe still doesn’t get a V8, and GM claims no plans for a Firebird or GTO for 2009-2010.

Can Am and Jim Wangers.  The August 2008 issue of High Performance Pontiac has an article on the Can Am, which was a 1977-only version of the Le Mans, with two doors, white with red/orange stripes, the Trans Am Shaker Hood, and the Trans Am Pontiac 400 cubic inch 200 horsepower V8 (6.6L) (except for California and high altitude, which got the Oldsmobile 403).  It was a terrific and popular car at a time when performance was almost completely forgotten.  Jim Wangers, frequently associated with the GTO, was also involved in its development, and was even interviewed for the Can Am article.  When asked if Pontiac would make something like that today, his response (echoing my own sentiment): “…You have to understand Pontiac’s marketing philosophy today….As you know you, the way it’s thinking over there now, it doesn’t want anything to do with the heritage of the Wide Track era of the 60s.  There’s no Bonneville, no Grand Prix, no LeMans, no GTO, no Firebird, no Trans Am.  It wants to distance themselves from those wonderful ‘Glory Days.’”

Red Is The Color

I’ve just finished watching a few of Michael Moore’s movies, and my earlier conclusions and suspicions are confirmed. He is Red, Red, Red.

Roger & Me. This was his first movie. He went to Flint, Michigan (where he grew up) and busted on General Motors for umpteen minutes. GM created Flint, but also – so he claims – destroyed it by shutting down plants. As if it was GM’s duty to keep plants open just to give people jobs. I found his arguments less than persuasive.

Canadian Bacon. Fiction: the US trumps up a war with Canada when the Cold War peters out and the Russians refuse to play along. A bunch of stupid Americans try to invade Toronto, believing it to be the capital (try Ottawa) and various SCTV people get a chance to be in a movie. Dan Akroyd was quality as the trooper who advises them to repeat the nasty anti-Canadian slogans in French as well as English. Given that we haven’t invaded Canada long after the Cold War ended, I’d say this idea was pretty stupid, though it probably served to amuse a few Canucks.

The Big One. Moore goes on a tour of the US promoting his books, and stopping by various corporate headquarters along the way to hassle, harass, and embarrass various corporate PR people and media escorts. Not much happens, the highlight being his meeting in person with Phil Knight of Nike. Honestly, the odds of finding a plant full of Americans willing to put sneakers together for $5.50 an hour is pretty damn low.

The analysis here shouldn’t be how low Indonesian Nike wages are compared to US minimum wages, it should be how they compare to other wages in Indonesia. If they were paying less than the prevailing wage in Indonesia, why would anyone there work for Nike?

Then there’s this business of prison labor. How sorry are we going to be for prison inmates doing telemarketing or customer service for less than minimum wage? They’re in prison! I suppose the alternative is someone in India doing the same. Should I wonder, “hmm, this person doesn’t sound Indian. Are they in prison?” Does it really matter? Again, if Americans were willing to do this for the same price, we wouldn’t be hiring prisoners or Indians. Economics, pure and simple – and nothing wrong with it.

Bowling for Columbine. Thanks to Moore, we know who to blame for the shooting in Columbine. No, it wasn’t the two boys. No, it wasn’t Marilyn Manson. Hold your seats, people, it was K-MART! Yes, the chain was responsible. Lovable, boring, big-ass and cheap K-Mart was the merciless murderer of those poor kids in Colorado. We had no idea. Who will K-Mart murder next? Stay tuned.

Fahrenheit 9/11. More propaganda. In Mein Kampf, Hitler describes propaganda as, “don’t fight fair, fight dirty. Never acknowledge the other side’s points. Don’t argue rationally. Just cram your message down their throats, repeat the lies, and shout louder than the other guy. It’s a war.” Similar deal here. Whether it’s busting on Bush for Carlysle group connections or Saudi ties (which applied to past presidents, administrations, and Democrats), blaming Bush for Oregon’s State Police budget (try blaming Portland instead), trying to get us paranoid about FBI or sheriff’s snoops on harmless peaceniks (who were never even arrested) or simply busting on US troops in Iraq, Moore strikes out on every issue. Far from being left with a damning, smoking gun no-brainer indictment on 9-11, we simply have an incessant string of vague innuendo, tenuous connections, and mysterious allegations. When’s Moore going to tackle the Kennedy Assassination? I guess he hasn’t figured out which American multinational company to pin the blame on.

Sicko. Here he takes on the US health care system. All well and fine to slam the US system – which does have its faults – but to suggest we adopt what they have in France or Cuba? Come on. There is NO WAY the US taxpayer would accept the 90% tax rate necessary for these so-called “free” health care systems (which aren’t free, of course). So we’re back where we started.

TV Nation/The Awful Truth. I caught a few episodes of these, but did not watch them consistently. The one that sticks out in my mind was when Moore painted a tractor trailer red with a yellow hammer & sickle, and drove by various truck stops trying to elicit some sort of recognition from the trucking proletariat. Nope, not much class consciousness along the highways of US.

He also wrote an article for The Nation years ago (I wish I could find it) in which he slammed US leftist intellectuals for being snobs who wouldn’t deign to have a beer, bowl a few pins, or (God forbid!!!) hunt with Joe Sixpack, the American Proletarian. These are the American workers: how are you going to win them over writing obscure books full of Marxist jargon 99.99% of these people will never read? Don’t talk about “bourgeois”, “proletariat”, “capitalist imperialist exploiters”, etc. Simply ask them if they think they’re getting a raw deal from management. Paul Wellstone had the right idea. Fortunately for us, the Wellstones are few and far between.

Books. I haven’t read any of his books. His movies are annoying enough, why go through the hassle? Hell, it took me ages to see “Fahrenheit 9/11” because I wasn’t keen on giving Moore any of my money.

Ralph Nader. Before Moore, there was Nader, causing a stink. I recently heard him speak at one of these eco/green conventions in DC, badmouthing corporate America as usual. I’ve read his book Unsafe at Any Speed. Granted, GM was being a major dick with him, and the Corvair was a shitty car – an idiotic competitor to the Mustang, and far outclassed by the Camaro and Firebird which should have been GM’s answer in the first place. But he seems to ignore Volvo and other companies which voluntarily introduced safety features without government mandates. The reality is, if people want to pay for safety they will. But the fact that Volvo doesn’t have a lock on the market suggests that consumers sometimes have other priorities than safety. Maybe they’re not Nader’s preferences, but who cares what Nader wants in a car? He doesn’t speak for anyone except himself and the tiny minority of leftists. However, I do hope he runs again and draws off Osama/Clinton voters so McCain can win (even though Ron Paul is my choice).
Both Moore and Nader are clearly lefties (to use the food analogy I brought up last week, watermelons: green on the outside, red on the inside). Moore never met a corporation he liked. I suppose if you wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, you could say that he simply wants to hold corporate America accountable and expose bad companies.

Fine. But why not show us good companies too? We know they’re out there. Why not show us a company that treats its employees fairly – or even one that’s employee-owned (you NEVER hear about them from Moore and Nader). The obvious reason for this is that his ultimate motive is to make us mistrust corporations as an aggregate and capitalism as a system. For that matter, neither have I ever seen Moore do the obvious thing: purchase stock in a company and show up at its annual shareholders’ meeting to bitch and gripe.

Nor does he spend much time talking about unions. Many leftists (including many of America’s various socialist parties) dislike unions because they represent an attempt to work within the capitalist system instead of overthrowing it. It’s a sellout to The Man, they claim. To the extent workers get tangible benefits and a decent wage from a union, that shows the system works, right? Why give us a totalitarian North Korean regime – or even watered down “market socialism” like Denmark or Sweden with 90% taxes – when we can get what we want within the US capitalist system?

I see the European model as being philosophically incompatible with American culture. Americans are the adults who moved out of their parents’ house in the 17^th century and grew up. Europeans are the 30-somethings still living at home, living off mom & dad. They pay 90% taxes and keep a small, nominal allowance. Mom & Dad pay their health insurance, rent, education, etc. and provide for their needs. After that, what more do they need?

Paul Weaver. Having busted on Moore, I’ll mention Weaver’s book, The Suicidal Corporation. (I’m still reading John DeLorean’s book, On a Clear Day You Can See General Motors, which I’ve momentarily misplaced and will finish when I find it). Weaver started out as a neoconservative who felt that Big Business got a bum rap from Nader and the left, and went to Ford in the late 70s to help them set the record straight. Once there, however, he learned that much of the shit that Big Business catches is well-deserved, and most of it brought upon itself by its own idiotic political maneuvering. Moreover, there was NEVER a “Golden Age” in which Big Business was pro-capitalist; for the most part of its history, since the late 19^th century, business has behaved badly, has never been pro-capitalist or pro-market, and has constantly sought government favors and protection. He describes a corporate atmosphere reminiscent of Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand) with Cuffy Meigs, Orren Boyle and Jim Taggart, and uncomfortably close to Mussolini’s Italy. The book is dated from 1988, the tail end of the Reagan era (he wasn’t phenomenally impressed by Reagan) and is 20 years out of date. But many of its points are well taken, so I won’t call Moore and Nader 100% off the mark.

So where does that leave us? Capitalism does work, although it also, quite obviously, has problems. But that doesn’t mean the solution is revolution, as Moore and Nader so quietly shout (don’t get me started on Rage Against the Machine).