Asterix!

[Originally posted in 2007, updated in 2020.]

When we lived in Paris we got hooked on this comic, about a group of Gauls (Roman-era French) who resist Julius Caesar and Roman occupation of Gaul thanks to a magic potion, brewed by their druid Getafix, that gives them superhuman strength.  The village, though unique, doesn’t seem to have a name (just “the Gaulish village”).  The artwork is by Albert Uderzo and the stories by Rene Goscinny.  By now there are about 33 books since 1961 and several animated films.  The Wikipedia entry is damn good, so I’ll compliment it rather than copy it.

 Gauls (Main Characters)

Asterix – hero. Very short, with blond hair & mustache, and he wears the classic winged helmet.  Witty, shrewd, but basically decent guy, very likable.  He can usually be counted to figure a way out of any tight situation and outwit any enemy.

Obelix – co-hero with Asterix, his best friend.  He builds menhirs (bizarre stone objects with no known use) but has no real source of income (except in “Obelix & Co.” when he gets rich selling menhirs to the Romans).  He only cares about eating wild boar and beating up Romans.  He’s not particularly bright but he’s still decent and fiercely loyal to Asterix.  He fell in the cauldron of magic potion as a baby, so the effects are permanent on him.

Dogmatix – Obelix’s cute little white dog.  A constant, loyal companion and frequently of assistance; in “Asterix and Cleopatra”, for instance, he guided them out of a pyramid they had been trapped inside.  He faints if anyone hurts a tree.

Getafix – their druid, responsible for brewing the magic potion.  He has other powers which he rarely displays.  He’s kidnapped by Goths (“Asterix and the Goths”) and temporarily rendered incoherent (“Asterix and the Big Fight”).  He doesn’t have an apprentice and he’s rather old, so it’s unclear what will happen if he dies.  He appears to be the only druid who knows the recipe to the magic potion.

Cacofonix – the bard.  He’s forbidden to sing (!) and is usually tied up by Fulliautomatix to make sure he doesn’t do so.  He rarely has any role in any story, except “Asterix the Gladiator” and “Asterix and the Normans”.

Fulliautomatix – the burly, husky blacksmith.  One of the pair of comic relief guys, he’s often either joking with Unhygienix or fighting him.

Unhygienix – the chubby fisherman.  Despite the fact that the village is on the coast, his fish are frequently accused of being less than fresh.  He jokes with – but often fights – Fulliautomatix.

Vitalstatistix & Impedimenta – the pompous, self-important chief and his pompous, self-important little wife.

Geriatrix & his hot wife – An incredibly old man (very spry, though!!) with an improbably hot wife (who doesn’t seem to have a name, aside from “Geriatrix’s wife”).

All Gaulish men have names ending in –ix, usually something silly; the women's names end in -a.   Britons, by the way, have names ending in –ax, Goths have names ending in -ic, and Romans generally have names ending in -us.

 Major Romans

Caesar & Cleopatra – Caesar is the consistent Roman nemesis to Asterix but occasionally deals with him on friendly terms.  Like Montgomery Burns & Homer Simpson, he consistently meets Asterix but never seems to recognize him individually and refers to them collectively as “Gauls”.

Brutus – Caesar’s own nemesis, sometimes figures as a plot device.

The other Romans have silly names on Latin variants.  In “Asterix & the Goths”, the pair pretend to be Romans and take the names “Asterus and Obelus”, but don’t do this in “Asterix the Legionary” when they actually are Roman legionaries.

 Themes

            The most common theme is that something is wrong with the magic potion, or Getafix, and they need to fix it – or the Romans have some sort of bizarre plot to defeat them.  The Romans have 4 camps around the village.  They’re dressed in Roman empire legionary armor (iron plates and helmet with cheekplates) though it’s at the time of Caesar (i.e. they should be in chain mail and bronze helmets that look like a baseball cap on backwards).  Rome, of course, is damn big and impressive.  But even Lutetia (ancient Paris) is considered a “big city” by the Gauls of the various villages.

 

 Travels

            Of course they go all over the place:  Helvetia (Switzerland) to find edelweiss to save the life of a poisoned Roman inspector; Egypt, to help build a palace for Cleopatra; Germania, to rescue Getafix from the Goths; Britannia, to supply their celtic comrades with magic potion in resistance to the Romans; Hispania (Spain) to return a small boy to his village, which is similarly resisting the Romans; Rome, to bring back Caesar’s laurel wreath to impress the chief’s brother-in-law; Greece, for the Olympic Games; Belgia, to compete against the well-fed Belgians in Caesar’s esteem; Corsica, to return an exiled Corsican warrior; India (Asterix and the Magic Carpet); the Middle East (including Israel) for – guess what? OIL!!!; ancient America, after being blown way off course at sea, an adventure which has them meeting both American Indians and Vikings (Asterix & the Great Crossing); Gergovia, near Alesia (site of Vercingetorix’s defeat by Caesar) (Asterix & the Chieftain's Shield); several trips to Lutetia; Norway/Sweden (land of Vikings) in both “The Great Crossing” and “Asterix and the Vikings”; and a tour of Gaul to get various different foods to impress the Romans with a banquet.  These trips give Goscinny and Uderzo a chance to parody the rest of Europe from the French perspective.  The Swiss are extremely clean; the Brits care for their tea and rugby; in Hispania condemned prisoners are thrown to the bulls instead of lions; the Belgians look just like Gauls except they eat insane amounts of food (a great adventure for Obelix); the Goths are extremely aggressive and warlike. 

             There are also a few adult references: Sean Connery (Roman spy druid Dubbleosix in “Asterix and the Black Gold”); Kirk Douglas (Spartacus the Greek in “The Galley of Obelix”); “Caesar”, the star of French writer Marcel Pagnol’s books, who plays bocci in Massilia and blocks a Roman patrol chasing Asterix (“Asterix and the Banquet”); a Briton bardic group of four guys with bangs, heavily popular with the ladies (“Asterix in Britain”); Don Quixote (see above) ("Asterix in Spain"); and they even stay in a manger in a small town in Judea, Bethlehem, because there’s no room at the inn....(Brian doesn’t show up, though).

             There is no sex, and no one dies – just Romans getting punched up.  To that extent they are pretty much children’s books, though very cleverly written.  A few are somewhat dark and cynical: “Asterix and the Laurel Wreath” and “Asterix and the Soothsayer”. 

 My favorites:

“Asterix and the Goths” – the Goths (Germans) capture Getafix with the idea of forcing him to make the magic potion for them so they can conquer everyone else.  They speak in “Gothic” (German old style text unintelligible to non-speakers) and are extremely militaristic, aggressive and nasty.  All Goths have a last name ending in –ic (Metric, Rhetoric, Electric, etc.) and have shaved heads and either a mustache or a beard.  They wear green helmets with spikes and horns.  Asterix, Obelix and Getafix brew the potion for several different overambitious Goths and provoke a civil war, leaving Germania in ruins, incapable of aggression against Gaul.  Individual Goths periodically show up in other stories but never as a main character.  This is one of the earlier stories, so the artwork and coloring are substandard; I wish they would redo it now that Uderzo has improved his technique dramatically.

 “Asterix the Legionary” – Tragicomix, a tall, handsome Gaul from their village, is shanghai’ed by the Romans to fight in their civil war in Africa between Caesar and Pompey, leaving his distraught (and deliciously attractive) fiance Panacea behind.  The only way to track him down is for Asterix and Obelix to join the legions themselves, so they volunteer for the Roman Army and get sent off to Africa, where they track down Tragicomix.  They have no use for the army food or discipline and drive their centurions (Roman officers) crazy.  They’re in a unit with other foreign volunteers including: an Egyptian (who only speaks in hieroglyphics); a fat Goth; a chubby Belgian with Tintin hairdo; a Brit with atrocious taste in food (the only one who loves the army food); a Greek; and an interpreter for the Goth and Egyptian.  After all the time they spend, adventure after adventure, beating up Roman legionaries, it’s a real hoot to see them, themselves, dressed up as legionaries.  They don’t beat each other up!

 “Obelix & Co.”  A young Roman fresh out of Latin School of Economics, Caius Preposterous (modelled after a young Jacques Chirac) concocts the Romans’ newest scheme to defeat the Gauls:  corrupt them by purchasing as many menhirs as possible from them.  Soon not only Obelix, but the other main male characters – Fulliautomatix, Unhygienix, and Geriatrix -  begin selling menhirs as well.  Eventually Preposterous’ scheme breaks down when Caesar can’t seem to unload all the menhirs on the Roman market – the Romans themselves enter the market and drive down the prices (and NO ONE knows what menhirs are for – even Obelix!).  An interesting economics lesson, well-told and humorous (similar to the “underwear gnome” episode of South Park).  Also some adult subjects addressed: Geriatrix’s (still) unnamed wife becomes attracted to Obelix once he starts making money and becomes “the most influential man in the village” – and Obelix proves he’s not as stupid as he often appears to be.

"Asterix & Caesar's Laurel Wreath".  One of the more cynical stories, Asterix and Obelix wind up in Rome, of all places, to procure Caesar's famous laurel wreath for their chief Vitalstatistix to impress his arrogant brother-in-law, Homeopathix, a wealthy merchant in Lutetia.  In doing so they become slaves for a wealthy Roman family and wind up in the Coliseum itself.  Highly amusing though I scarcely think it's suitable for children. I got it for the brief bit in Lutetia which actually has a nice illustration of the city, which now is Isle de la Cite, the island where Notre Dame is.  The cathedral - the actual cathedral of the Catholic archdiocese of Paris - has a crypt beneath with Roman era items, which is an excellent prelude for visiting the cathedral itself.  Homeopathix' arrogance perhaps indicates Parisians' contempt for the rest of France, much as Londoners seem to look down on the rest of Britain.

Asterix & the Great Crossing.  Blown off course, Asterix and Obelix wind up in the New World, and meet the locals, though obviously they're at a disadvantage in terms of trying to communicate with the Native Americans.  They actually get along pretty well, to the point where the local chief's daughter takes a liking to Obelix (!!!).  Eventually a team of Vikings lands, finds Asterix and Obelix, and brings them back to Norway thinking they've captured a pair of Native Americans - until a Gaulish slave recognizes them as fellow Gauls.  

 They’re available in all different languages, not only French and English, but even Latin (for the “Roman Empire”). There is an Asterix theme park outside Paris – which is actually very well done, the usual theme park rides including an impressive steel roller coaster.  I’ve actually been there but not Euro Disney, which opened after I left.

Ben Hur

On Good Friday (for those of you who know what I’m talking about), this movie/movie/book should be an appropriate topic.

 I was first introduced to this story in the most mainstream fashion – watching the 1959 film in a movie theater on the Champs Elysees in Paris, sometime in the summer of 1980.  It’s a very long and very intense film – over 2 hours – and I ended up with a splitting headache.

 Very recently (27 years later) I watched the deluxe 4 DVD set.  Discs 1-2 are the 1959 movie (which is the format most people know about).  Disc 3 is the 1925 silent film, somewhat forgotten by now (interestingly impressive in its own right, but overshadowed by the 1959 version), and Disc 4 has the inevitable extra features – of which the most notable segments are Charlton Heston’s premiere appearances and Leslie Nielson (from the “Airplane” and “Naked Gun” films) auditioning for the role of Messala in full Roman gear.

 After digesting all that, I went a step further and read the original novel by Lew Wallace, written in 1880.  Wallace himself was a remarkable character: one of the few Union generals of the Civil War with any real talent and ability; Governor of the New Mexico Territory (met up with Billy the Kid in person); and US envoy to the Ottoman Empire (aka Turkey).  His own story is almost as remarkable as Ben Hur’s.

 Plot.  Judah Ben Hur, Jewish prince, meets his childhood friend Messala, a Roman officer, recently returned from Rome and intent on quelling an incipient Jewish rebellion in Judea, then a Roman province.  When a tile falls from the Hur estate and almost kills the new Roman governor, Messala makes an example of Ben Hur and his family: he has Judah himself sent to the galleys to certain death as a slave; has Ben Hur’s mother and sister locked up in the dungeon, to waste away forgotten; and confiscates the Hur estate, dividing the proceeds between himself and the governor.

 In the galleys, Ben Hur beats the odds and survives three years – when the life expectancy is one – kept alive by hate and vengeance.  His ship is engaged in a naval battle with pirates, yet he survives, and saves the life of the admiral, Quintus Arrius.  The admiral takes him back to Rome, adopts him as his son, and Ben Hur enjoys a lavish lifestyle in Rome, hanging out with the Emperor himself and future Judean governor Pontius Pilate, even gaining experience as a gladiator and chariot driver.

 He returns to Judea seeking revenge against Messala and to find his long-lost mother and sister.  He gets even with Messala by defeating him in a dramatic chariot race – both the 1925 and 1959 movies are great at this – and finds his mother and sister, now lepers.  He also hooks up with a slave girl, Esther.  In the 1925 film she’s played by Mary McAlvoy, a boring white actress.  In the 1959 films she’s played – far more convincingly – by Haya Harareet, an Israeli actress (who doesn’t appear to have done any other movies).  Esther is actually the daugther of Simonides, who was Ben Hur’s father’s slave, but she loves Ben Hur as a man.  Unfortunately for her (at least in the 1925 movie and the book), Ben Hur considers her as a little sister (similar to David Copperfield’s view of Agnes) until the very end.  His attention and affection, for the most part, are attracted to Iras...

 Iras, the Egyptian.  One of the Three Wise Men, Balthazar, is an Egyptian, and survives the other two (Gaspar and Melchior) to witness Christ’s crucifixion.  He also has a beautiful daughter, Iras, who is completely absent in the 1959 movie, has a minor role as Messala’s girlfriend in the 1925 film, and a major role as a competitor with Esther for Ben Hur’s affections in the book.  Basically she plays the seductive evil woman (with Esther the good, yet forgotten woman) plying secrets of out Ben Hur while secretly serving her true love, Messala.  

 Last but not least, enter Jesus.  He’s mostly in the background in the 1959 film (with the exception of his crucifixion, which is fully portrayed, though not with the crisp, pungent realism of Mel Gibson’s treatment), has a somewhat larger role in the 1925 film (the scenes concerning him, Mary & Joseph are colorized), and is most prominent in the novel – the subtitle of which is “A Tale of the Christ”.  He gives water to Ben Hur as the character is led off to the galley; and eventually his crucifixion comes to center focus towards the end of the book.  In particular, the hope Ben Hur and his followers have that Jesus will be a true “King of the Jews” and lead them to overthrow Rome and re-establish a glorious Israeli kingdom is dashed when Jesus is captured and crucified.  Only by inspiration and introspection – and some divine assistance – does Ben Hur realize what Jesus’ mission truly is.  For their part, the mother and sister have faith that Jesus is the Messiah, and thanks to this faith, their leprosy is cured by him (handled differently in the book, the 1925 film, and the 1959 film, but always with the same result).  For this reason, the story is very much an Easter story, which is why I posted this entry at this time.

 Book vs. Two Films.  The 1959 film is by far the best.  The naval battle and chariot race of 1925 are both extremely well done, especially by those standards.  In fact, this movie was compared to “Intolerance”, which I mentioned earlier.  It’s tempting to write off the silent movie, but taken in context it is damn good.  The director of the 1959 movie, William Wyler, was a cameraman for the chariot scene in the 1925 movie.

            The 1925 Ben Hur, Ramon Navarro, does an OK job, but Charlton Heston truly assumed and defined the role.  His Oscar for the role – the film swept the 1959 awards – was well and truly deserved.  Hell, he even learned how to actually DRIVE the chariot for the race scenes. It’s tempting today, particularly among liberals who can’t stand his politics, to write him off, but this was stellar acting on his part.  Forget Moses & the “10 Commandments”; forget “Planet of the Apes” or “Soylent Green” – THIS is Charlton Heston at his best, in a truly classic and epic movie. 

            Then there is Stephen Boyd as Messala.  In both the book and 1925 film, Messala is somewhat older than Ben Hur; you don’t really get a sense that they were ever really peers or friends.  The 1959 film actually changes this in a way that works BETTER than the original.

            With Stephen Boyd and Charlton Heston, they appear to be of the same age, and equals.  The friendship is so obvious and so strong, that it almost has some subtle homoerotic overtones.   In fact, Gore Vidal claims that Boyd had been instructed that the backstory was that Ben Hur and Messala were lovers as younger men, then when they met each other again, Messala wanted to resume the relationship and Ben Hur declined – thus spurned, Messala took his revenge against Ben Hur and his family.  Vidal also claims that Heston was not told about this, thus Boyd was acting on this subtext without Heston’s knowledge or participation.  Others, including Heston, dispute this story, but it seems plausible when you watch the way the actors play the roles.  There are also hints of this in the book, in which Messala describes Ben Hur as extremely handsome and “my Ganymede” (Zeus’ lover boy – a reference which is not only homoerotic but also puts Messala as an older partner to Ben Hur).

            A second improvement of the 1959 movie is Messala’s end.  In the 1925 movie we don’t see what happens to him after his chariot breaks apart.  In the book, he’s crippled, ruined, and dishonored, but doesn’t meet Ben Hur in person after that (Iras meets with Ben Hur on behalf of Messala).  The 1959 movie gives us the dramatic confrontation between Ben Hur and Messala, in which the Roman, with his last breaths, choosing death rather than to have his legs amputated, reveals to Ben Hur that his mother and sister are still alive.  Another remarkable departure from the original which works 10x better. 

            The book is somewhat long-winded and affects the stilted language of late 19^th century English and American writers.  But it also gives a substantial background on all the different topics, including, but not limited to, the Roman dominance over Judea, Judean politics, the city of Antioch, the circumstances of Joseph & Mary coming to Bethlehem, the Three Wise Men, among many other topics, none of which could nearly be addressed by any movie.  The three complement each other well.

 Rome & Israel.  This is a subtext which is fairly latent in the 1959 film, comes up a bit stronger in the 1925 film, but is full-blown in the novel.  Knowing that Jesus is “born to be King of the Jews”, Ben Hur and his comrades, his slave Simonides (a wealthy merchant) and Sheik Ilderim (the Arab whose horses and chariot Ben Hur rode to victory against Messala) plot to support Jesus’ predicted rise to power to overthrow the Romans and bring a Jewish kingdom back to glory.  Among them, only Balthazar realizes early on that the “kingdom” will be spiritual and not temporal. In the 1925 movie, Ben Hur even raises two legions in support of this short-lived rebellion, and appears wearing armor and carrying a spear.  Of course, Jesus’ “kingdom” is not of this Earth, and he is crucified.

            The irony of this is that much, much later, the Roman emperor Constantine first converted to Christianity, then made it the official religion of the (then-waning) Roman Empire.  Among the remaining pagans, a disgruntled theory was that Christianity itself doomed the Empire.  If that were true, then Jesus did, very indirectly, bring about the fall of Rome which they were hoping for centuries earlier; though Rome’s decline was due to far too many different factors to attribute its conversion to Christianity alone a significant factor, if indeed a factor at all.  In any case, Rome, in the form of the Vatican, is the capital of the Roman Catholic faith – de facto Christianity until the schism with the Eastern Orthodox Church (and later Protestant schism in western Europe).  And Israel finally became a country in 1948, fighting off successive waves of hostile Arabs in 1948, 1956, 1967 (the Six Day War), 1973 (the Yom Kippur War), going right up to the present. 

             The book is long and difficult to digest, but contains far more information and background than either movie.  The 1925 movie is worth seeing simply by comparison, and it is a great movie of that era.  But the 1959 movie, with Charlton Heston, really tops all three.