John Carter, Warlord of Mars

A few years ago I read one of Robert Heinlein’s later books, Number of the Beast, which was a bit strange.  The crew members encounter fictional universes and fictional characters brought to life – even Heinlein’s own creations, Lazarus Long (from Time Enough For Love) and Jubal Harshaw (from Stranger in a Strange Land).  But the four main characters were Zachariah Carter, his wife D.T. Burroughs, her father Jacob Burroughs, and his wife Hilda Burroughs.  D.T. is short for “Dejah Thoris”.  This led me to read the books which apparently inspired Heinlein, the John Carter trilogy.

 The books are Princess of Mars, Gods of Mars, and Warlord of Mars.  Edgar Rice Burroughs, the author, is best known for his other creation, Tarzan.  These were written around 1913-16, and have a very stilted form of writing which even Tolkien and Moorcock don’t reach.  The closest is Robert E. Howard of Conan fame, but even Howard wasn’t this pompous and stuffy; nonetheless, I’d find it hard to believe that Howard wasn’t influenced by Burroughs.  Having said that, though, Howard’s stories are somewhat more Byzantine and complex than the John Carter stories, but it seems as though the John Carter stories definitely provided a solid bedrock of ideas and basis upon which Howard was able to craft Conan.

 Carter himself is a Civil War veteran from Virginia, who mysteriously finds himself teleported to Barsoom (Mars); how he got there is NEVER explained.  There he meets a warlike race of very tall green men with four arms.  He finds the gravity to be much lower than Earth, so he can jump around.  His warlike bearing and skill at arms soon earn him the respect of Tars Tarkas, one of the Jeddaks (chieftains) of the green men.  Eventually his travels take him to Helium, land of the “red men”, and he meets the Princess, Dejah Thoris.  He wins her love and her heart, and the rank of Prince of Helium, a title he uses in the next books.  By the end of the first story, he has to fix the atmosphere plant which provides the sentient races of the entire planet with breathable air – yet is suddenly and abruptly (again, never explained how) teleported back to Earth without knowing whether he succeeded or failed.

 In Gods of Mars he returns to Barsoom and meets black men – though they are not negroes, just apparently caucasians with black skin; and Therns, who are white men who wear blond wigs (see Carter disguised as a Thern, above middle).  This time he is catapulted 20 years into the future, and chases after Dejah Thoris, and meets his son by her, Carthoris.  Unwittingly, he has destroyed Barsoom’s major religion by revealing its goddess, Issus, to be mortal.  Dejah Thoris is imprisoned in a temple for a year, so we don’t know if she will survive.  Thus ends the second book.

 In Warlord of Mars, the story is wound up.  He continues to chase after Dejah Thoris (who did survive), who has been captured by a renegade black man and one of the Therns.  He finds jungle men (some variant of the red men) (what? No Tarzan?) and finally yellow men (not Asians, just white men with yellow skin) in the frigid wastes of the north pole of Mars.  There is a climactic battle in which his allies (of course) come to rescue him, very much the Martian cavalry of the story.  Like Conan, John Carter seems to enjoy a strikingly convenient supply of good luck which he, of course, is amply able to take advantage of to his benefit and the detriment of his enemies, who consistently underestimate him.

 While there are plenty of swords, I see no sign of sorcery.  Flying machines get their power from repulsion rays.  The flying ships are described and illustrated (see above middle) in a way which brings to mind the ones in “Return of the Jedi”.  All the technology has a curiously simple explanation like ERB simply made it up with a minimum of thought. Guns are rare; most of the fighting is with swords and spears.  Despite plenty of religion, no magic occurs and the one deity is exposed as a mortal.  Except for the green men, a race of plant monsters, and a race of white haired apes, all the races are pretty much different-colored Caucasians (no Blue Man Group, though).  The sex, to the extent there is any, is merely implied (how else would Carter have a son with Dejah Thoris?), although most inhabitants of Mars, including the women, are consistently scantily clad.  And ERB never explains how they got to Mars or whether any of the races are actually indigenous to Mars (unlikely, as they all need an atmosphere plant).  

Princess of Mars (DVD). Until 2012, this was the only actual film treatment of the stories.  Despite the fact that these stories were written before 1916 and have been known for ages, this film was made – apparently direct to DVD – in 2009.  John Carter is played by a soap opera heart-throb, Antonio Sabato Jr., and the only other major star is Traci Lords, the former porn actress, portraying Dejah Thoris.  I can appreciate her effort to find normal roles, but the reality is her acting stinks: she simply scowls 99% of the time like a female Clint Eastwood.  Although I found the overall acting in this to be equally bad, they did stick pretty much to the story.  Hell, they even came up with an explanation on how he got to Mars.  Give them a B+ for effort and a C- for execution.

 Recently Disney took a shot at this, with Lynn Collins & Taylor Kitsch (both in “X-Men Origins: Wolverine”) as Dejah Thoris and John Carter, respectively, which came out in 2012.  This had an all-star cast, which also included Willem Dafoe (as Tars Tarkas), Thomas Hayden Church, and Mark Strong.  I liked it much more than the prior attempt, but the moviegoing public seemed to prefer "The Hunger Games", which I refuse to see for that reason.  While they took a few liberties with the plot, overall it was extremely well done.  Even Bryan Cranston (Walt White) is in here as decrepit Union cavalry officer.  Good job; more people should have seen this tribute to one of the earliest, most original forms of science fiction, rather than waste their attention on the completely unoriginal "Games".