Spanish-American War

Time for another round of “obscure wars no one cares about!” (except maybe Cubans, Filipinos or Puerto Ricans). This week:  the Spanish-American War of 1898.  Just as the Russo-Japanese War (1905) was Japan’s opportunity to defeat a European country (Tsarist Russia), this was America’s chance to knock down on Spain, which had by then deteriorated into just another half-assed European country with a bunch of overseas colonies it could no longer adequately protect.  Instead of fighting at home in Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, or out on the Plains against Indians (American type, not 7-11) the US was off to Cuba, Puerto Rico, and far off in the Pacific to the Philippines.

 Cuba.  The Spanish had been having problems with a native Cuban insurgency (the Army of Liberation) in the late 1800s.  By 1895 another one had erupted.  Popular sentiment in the US supported the insurgency.   Before Che Guevara (who was Argentinian, by the way), the popular hero of Cuba was Maximo Gomez, a general in the Army of Liberation.

            On February 15, 1898, the US battleship Maine, (built to compete with Brazil’s dreadnought the Riachuelo, which had scared the hell out of the Americans) anchored in Havana harbor, mysteriously exploded and sank.  Although no one knows who was responsible, the Spanish were blamed anyway.  By April 25, the US had declared war on Spain.

            As was so often the case with US getting into wars, the standing peacetime army was far too small, and a volunteer army had to be raised and trained from scratch.  The volunteers camped at Camp Alger, which was actually close by to where my office is now:  Route 50 west of Graham Road in northern Virginia. 

            On June 22, US forces landed in southeast Cuba near Santiago.  The harbor defenses were too strong to directly defeat, so a prolonged siege from both land and sea was what ultimately broke the Spanish.  The US fleet blockaded the Spanish fleet at Santiago, while various land forces, including Roosevelt’s Rough Riders, took on the Spanish forces on the mainland; by July 1, San Juan Hill was in US hands.  This completed the land-side siege of Santiago.  An attempt by the Spanish fleet to break out was unsuccessful.  On July 17 the garrison surrendered, which ended the war in Cuba.

 The Rough Riders.  Officially known as the 1^st US Volunteer Cavalry, led by Theodore Roosevelt.  Their uniform was a blue flannel shirt, slouch hat, bandana, and leggings; they used the Krag-Jorgensen bolt-action rifle, .30-40 caliber.  The Rough Riders attracted an amazing variety of adventurous characters:  American Indians, cowboys, athletes, anyone with some military experience (Civil War or Indian War) or horseriding skill, almost an American version of the French Foreign Legion.

 Puerto Rico.  US troops landed on July 25.  By August 13 the Spanish had surrendered.

 The Philippines.  As with Cuba, there was a native insurgency in the Philippines, the major player being Emilio Aguinaldo.  When the US entered war with Spain, Aguinaldo, who had been in exile in Hong Kong after the last rebellion, negotiated his return to the Philippines.  As with Cuba, the war against Spain in this area had a naval and land aspect.  On sea, Admiral Dewey defeated the Spanish fleet in Manila Bay on May 1.  On June 30, US troops debarked at Cavite; by August 13, the Spanish had surrendered.

            But this didn’t end the hostilities.  The Filipino insurgents, who had been expecting full independence in exchange for assisting the US invasion (liberation?) were shocked and disappointed when the end of the war simply transferred ownership from Spain to the US.  Then began an “insurgency” which lasted far longer than the original war; the locals put up a much tougher fight than the Spanish had.  The “official” end was declared in April 1902, but sporadic clashes with primitive Muslim Moro tribes continued on until the 1920s.  The US finally granted the Philippines independence on July 4, 1946.  Aguinaldo himself lived until 1964, age 94.

 Uniforms and equipment.  This was about the time the Navy switched from the older “Donald Duck” hat for sailors to the current Dixie Cup variety.  For its part, the Army was switching over from dark blue (since the Civil War) to khaki, a completely different color far better suited to the realities of modern warfare, and in much lighter, more comfortable materials.  The latter was important as for the first time US soldiers were fighting in tropical conditions different than experienced at home in the United States. 

            Spanish soldiers typically wore a cotton tropical uniform, called rayadillo, in white with narrow blue vertical stripes.  To modern eyes – or at least mine – they look like pajamas.  Their rifle was the 1893 Spanish Mauser (7mm Mauser), which was actually superior to the US rifles, both the obsolete trapdoor Springfields (.45-70, single shot) and the Krags.  It was the success of this rifle which led the US to adopt the Mauser bolt action system on the 1903 Springfield.  Another popular rifle was the Remington rolling block, typically in 11mm (.43) as used by the Spanish.     

Cookie Monster

I had mentioned this earlier in my Thrash Metal blog, but it was brought home to me again after listening to a band called Baroness, their so-called Blue Album.  The music itself was excellent, yet it was completely marred by the atrocious singing, if you can even call it that.  Yet again, Cookie Monster showed up to sing. (Fortunately for this band, their recent Yellow/Green double album dials down the Cookie Monster considerably).

 Mastodon is a similar band with excellent music and terrible vocals.  Opeth has finally released a non-prog, regular album, Heritage, with no such vocals on it, and with the addition of songs from that album the live set has finally pushed the CM variety into the minority.   We can expect one song from Damnation, not the whole album, but at least the rest of the set is no longer mostly growls.  Which is even more peculiar, because Mikael Akerfeldt, the singer, actually has a damn good singing voice.

 Look at the Big Four of Thrash, finally playing together.  Of these, only Tom Araya (Slayer) has a gravelly voice; we can probably blame him for this trend.  “If he can get away with it, why can’t all these other idiots with zero singing ability?”  James Hetfield (Metallica) has the best of the four: a nasty biting, rasp which is still intelligible.  Dave Mustaine’s (Megadeth) voice is almost identical, full of venom and contempt but still recognizable.  And Joey Belladonna (Anthrax) can belt it – no subtitles needed. 

 I predict two things: (1) bands like Opeth will continue to sell more records and be more successful so long as the singer actually sings, and (2) the hardcore deathcore yahoos will sneer “sell-out” when a band moves out of the Cookie Monster box, a demographic which could fit into a small room, into the demographic of “normal, intelligent people” who prefer to hear real singing – you know, like Rob Halford or Bruce Dickinson.  Welcome to the real world at last.

The Twentieth Century

If nostalgia is looking wistfully at the past, the opposite is looking towards the future, although not necessarily wistfully – i.e. science fiction.  We’ve all heard of Jules Verne and H.G. Wells, the most famous late 19^th century science fiction writers.  Here’s a new entry:  Albert Robida, author of The Twentieth Century, which has only recently been translated into English (from French).  This is Robida’s depiction, from the point of view of 1882, of what France (and the world) will look like in 1952.  Robida not only wrote the book, he also illustrated it.  I found it…fascinating (arching single eyebrow).

 Telephonoscopes.   This is one thing which Robida got close:  video phones.  Voice, picture, music all come over the transmission lines – even full performances of operas and concerts.  Of course, these modern versions are interspersed with all sorts of modern adaptations to wake up the audience and keep it relevant and not boring.  Almost without exception, all of Robida’s 1950 technology was in existence, in some form, in 1882.  Even Edgar Rice Burroughs came up with technology which was nonexistent at his time – through the sheer imagination of simply making it up with no explanation as to how it worked.  Step by step….

 Style.  Indistinguishable from the late 19^th century, and completely different from what actually wound up in 1952.  I suppose the steampunk people might find it curious.  Heinlein, in For Us, The Living, at least predicted that in the 21^st century nudity taboos would be gone and we could wear anything at all – or nothing at all.  Ahead of his time, alas!

 Catering.  Food, wine, soup – all delivered to your home from a central plant by means of pipes!  Turn the faucet, and your dinner emerges!  Voila!  It’s so simple.  Well, there are still some bugs.  Two wealthy men, comparing each other’s catering companies:

            Ponto:  “…not to mention the steam choppers for vegetables, or the power hammer to mash potatoes…”

            Gontran: “Let me stop you right there with your power hammer.  This is precisely one of the reasons why I did not become a subscriber to your Great Company.  Surely, you remember that cook who was pureed along with this vegetables by that power hammer of yours.”

            Ponto:  “I do indeed, but that was a suicide.”

            Gontran: “Granted, it was, but the incident was not discovered until after dinner.  Your subscribers had the cook for supper!”

 Journalists.  L’Epoque is the top newspaper in France, delivered daily by telephonoscope to its subscribers.   The “defamation”/”corrections” department works by having aggrieved parties challenge the responsible journalist to a duel – the winner’s position prevails.  L’Epoque has a fencing instructor and weapons master on retainer to train its writers.

 Travel.  Not a single airplane!  Ground-based travel is a series of electro-pneumatic high speed tubes (an underground TGV), whereas air-based travel is through rapidly accelerating balloons: privately operated airships, intra city transport, and even intercontinental traffic.  The means of acceleration is not explained, but the balloons themselves, particularly the smaller ones for individual craft, are often fish-shaped.  Much of Paris is built up into the air for docking with airships, and almost 100% of this upward docking is festooned with advertisements of all types (similar to the opening credits of “Futurama”).  Italy, by the way, has successfully been converted into a theme park – the entire country.   A transatlantic tunnel is being built between America and Europe.

 Prison.  The enlightened criminologists of 1952 decided to coddle inmates in luxurious garden parks hoping to rehabilitate them with kindness and compassion.  The results?  A mixture of Alex’s smarmy, insincere promises of remorse (“A Clockwork Orange”) and the Daumier thief stealing from his own attorney.  

 Decennial Revolutions.  France has reached the point of institutionalizing revolution:  every ten years the government automatically changes amidst faux revolutionary festivities: muskets with blanks, a barricade competition (you can’t have a revolution without barricades, can you?), and all the pomp and glory of the revolutions of old with none of the unpleasantness or bloodshed. 

            Women have complete equality in all professions, and there is even a very powerful Feminist Party and a Ladies’ Stock Exchange. In fact, female attorneys are particularly well esteemed, particularly for criminal law, as their emotions are considered apt for provoking similar responses, eliciting sympathy for criminal defendants.

            Politicians are accompanied at all times by monitors, who are simply ordinary citizens charged with the responsibility of babysitting their elected representatives to make sure no illegal, unethical, or immoral activity occurs.

 America Divided, Mormon England.   Similar to The Man in the High Castle (Philip K. Dick): west coast US is taken over by China, the capital being San Francisco, aka New Nanking, the east coast is a German America (with the original Deutschland becoming the colony), capital New Berlin (New York City) and the rest of America squeezed into the middle.   The American Indians have all adopted modern clothing and have completely phased into 1950s style; their civilization is modern and thriving (no mention of casinos, though).  The Japanese, too, have completely adopted Western dress and culture to the exclusion of their own.

            The Mormons, for their part, left en masse for England, which they took over from the English, who for their part had all left for India.  But polygamy is so rife in England now, that bachelors visiting the country are in danger of forced into marriages or thrown in prison.

            Robida correctly predicted a civil war in China in the 1940s, but missed the boat on fascism and communism.

 Robida injects a heavy dose of humor to the mix, which makes the book that much more enjoyable; fortunately it had annotations, as much of the text refers to matters more familiar to late 19^th century readers than myself.  Technologically, he isn’t really visionary; his virtues lie more in politics and society, extrapolating from what he perceived to be late 19^th century trends. 

The Unarmed Citizen

This week’s contributions to The Unarmed Citizen, a monthly installment in the Unarmed American, which is published by the National No-Rifle Association.

 *          After a recent burglary, Ethel Berman wasn’t going to be taking any chances.  The 70 year old grandmother fired up the Kenmore range and cooked up a batch of Tollhouse cookies.  Sure enough, another would-be burglar broke into her house from the back door intent on making off with her life savings.  Ethel was ready this time:  a plate of hot, steamy, gooey chocolate chip cookies dissuaded the masked intruder, filled his tummy, and sent him on his way with a smile on his face.  [Boston Pravda, 9/22/11.]

 *          A string of rapes in the Potomac neighborhood put retiree Alice Dukakis on notice: something had to be done.  Instead of locking and loading, or stocking up on 9mm or .45 (or even mace or pepper spray), this smart woman did something much better: she bought a Barry White CD, some scented candles, and a three pack of condoms in case the rapist was particularly persistent or aggressive.  When the serial rapist broke into her bedroom, Alice was ready – lights turned down, candles burning, and soft jazz with a deep voice gave the intruder a warm welcome.  Stunned by this unusual approach, the masked man jumped out the window and fled.  [Rockville Head Examiner, 9/11/11.]

 *          UC-Berkeley liberal arts major Steve Murray’s semester in “Alternatives to Violence” truly paid off.  When accosted by a lowlife criminal in Oakland in a dark alley, Murray was able to hold off the thug with a long-winded diatribe on the irrationality of violence in solving problems and the superiority of nonviolent solutions.  After 30 minutes of enduring pacifist ideology, the crook could stand it no more, turned his gun on himself, and took his own life.  [Oakland Worker, 9/18/11.]

 *          Yet again, quick thinking defused a potentially dangerous situation with a positive outcome.  Sharon Davis was approached at gunpoint after leaving her ATM on Broad Street with a substantial sum of cash.  Eschewing phony heroics, she cleverly “disarmed” her opponent by throwing the entire wad of cash at him and immediately fleeing the scene.  [Falls Church Open Mind Press, 9/20/11.]

 *          Scott Breuer was convinced, as all right-thinking, rational persons are in American society, that ownership of handguns and other dangerous weapons is properly restricted to the military, National Guard, and local police.  So when he was stopped at gunpoint by a mysterious stranger, it was his sheer luck that a US soldier carrying an M-16, a National Guardsman also carrying an M-16, and an on-duty DC police officer armed with a service Glock 17 automatic assault machine pistol, just happened to be passing by when the crime was in progress in plain view of them.  The would-be mugger fled the scene immediately and Breuer was rescued.  [Washington Paper of City, 9/15/11.]