Game of Thrones

Having recently trashed 50 Shades of Grey, and also having finished Dance of Dragons, the 5^th installment of George R. R. Martin’s popular Game of Thrones series of books – also a very popular HBO series - it’s time to review the latter.  Anyone seeing my Facebook posts will know that I rate GoT considerably higher than 50 Shades.

I started by watching the HBO series on DVD, finishing season 1.  My access to season 2 has been limited to watching it on my brother’s iPad at his house, as I don’t have HBO and the DVDs won’t be out until February.  So, voracious and insatiable reader that you all know I am, I started reading the books, of which there are now five.  #6 and 7 are due out in the distant future.  Don’t ask when, as Martin takes his time writing these things.  I’ll keep my comments brief to avoid spoiling anything.

Think of it as Lord of the Rings with lots of intrigue, backstabbing, and juicy sex – LOTR + Fifty Shades, in fact.  Those of you who thought hobbits prancing around Middle Earth was dull, may find much more to watch and enjoy with this show.

It takes place in a fantasy world.  The main continent is Westeros, with another continent to the east called Essos.  Control of Westeros is nominally by the king, who sits on the Iron Throne.  As the story begins, that king is drunken, pompous and lusty Robert Baratheon, of the Baratheon family.  Robert stole the throne from the dragon-oriented Targaryens, who are now exiled to Pentos, a city on the eastern continent.  Robert’s “Hand” (his executive officer) Jon Arryn has recently died under mysterious circumstances, and he promotes his good friend Ned Stark (played by Sean “Borimir” Bean) to the position.   It’s probably best to reduce the analysis to a review of the various major houses/families.

Starks.  “Winter is coming” is their motto, and the dire wolf is their totem animal.  The Starks hold the most northern territory, their home castle is Winterfell, and they are essentially the “good guys” of the series.  Ned is the dad, Catelyn the mom.  Robb is the oldest son, followed by Bran (young boy), Rickon (very young boy), daughters Sansa (spoiled, self-centered princess) and Arya (bad-ass fighting tomboy), and a bastard son Jon Snow, who is about Robb’s age. 

            The Starks are unique in this series.  Not only are they the only family who are consistently good – there doesn’t appear to be a living Stark who is anything less than decent – but they seem to be the only ones in touch with their totem animals (with the big exception of Danaerys Targaryen, see below).  They actually find dire wolf puppies, which they adopt; they also dream of being wolves, which turns out to be more substantial for Bran than the rest of them.  I didn’t see Theon dreaming of krakens, Tyrion dreaming of lions, or Renly dreaming of stags. 

Lannisters.  “A Lannister always pays his debts”, as Tyrion likes to say.  He’s the #2 son, a dwarf, also called “The Imp”.  He is easily the most interesting character in the entire series.  He’s a regular brothel customer (most women wouldn’t have him without gold) but also talks his way out of trouble and consistently has an entertaining viewpoint.  Impressively cynical but still good-hearted.

            The Lannisters are easily the “bad guys” of the series.  Twins Jaime and Cersei have a cozy brother-sister relationship – a bit too cozy.  Married to Robert Baratheon, Cersei is the Queen,– a cold, ruthless, arrogant, beautiful 1000% bitch.  Jaime is an excellent knight and warrior, but somewhat unscrupulous and arrogant, but he can’t quite match his sister or father’s evil.  They have a younger brother Joffrey (complete brat bastard), a sister Myrcella, a younger brother Tommen (both of whom are young, innocent, and pretty much just pawns on the GOT chessboard), and an archduke of evil father Tywin.  Think of him as Asmodeus.

Baratheons.  In addition to King Robert, there is another brother Stannis – kind of an unpopular stick in the mud – and the youngest is Renly, who is actually fairly cool, even he does play for the other team.  These three do NOT get along with each other. 

Greyjoys.  Up in the Iron Islands west of Westeros, the Greyjoys’ totem is the Kraken, and their motto is “we do not sow”.  They’re pretty much brutal Viking bastards who prefer taking what they want by force (“the iron price”) vs. buying it (“the gold price”).  Theon, the heir, is a ward of the Starks; although nominally a hostage, they treat him well.  He repays their kindness…well, you’ll see. 

Targaryens.  The Dragon family is the only one who can get away with incest: they typically married brothers to sisters.  By this time Prince Viserys (arrogant asshole) and Princess Danaerys (cute virgin girl) are stuck in Pentos.  Viserys sells his sister to the horse nomads, the Dothraki, in the hopes that these warriors will bring him back to the throne that Robert Baratheon stole, but Khal Drogo, Danaerys’ husband, has other plans.  The majority of the Targaryen story winds up taking place on the eastern continent, even if they were originally from Westeros.  Danaerys comes into possession of three dragon eggs, which actually do hatch by the end of book/season 1, although at this point they’re baby dragons and too small for her to ride.  By book 5 she’s become the center of attention, with no less than 3 major characters attempting to either find her or marry her.

There are lesser families which are “vassals” and “bannermen” beneath these higher ones:  the Tullys (Catelyn Stark’s family), the Arryns, the Karstarks, the Boltons, the Freys, the Ulmers, the Martells of Dorne (far southeast, desert and Mediterranean), the Tyrells of Highgarden (southwest), the Tarleys, etc.  These lesser houses shift allegiances between Starks, Lannisters and Stannis Baratheon as the winds blow, so much of the intrigue is centered on efforts of major characters to secure alliances, e.g. through marriage, from the lesser houses.  

Religion.  There seems to be three tiers.  The “Old Gods” are worshipped in “godswoods” and “heart trees”, essentially a primitive spirit worship with no tangible benefits.  The Seven are the more modern group; it’s a collection of seven different deities.  They actually have temples and priests and priestesses (septs and septas), and is the most mainstream and widely followed religion.  There is a new religion, a Red God, Rh’llor, gaining converts; their deal is fire.  Stannis Baratheon has a red witch, Melisandre, who preaches this religion and claims to see the future in holy flames.  Theon Greyjoy’s uncle Aeron is a priest of the Drowned God, a water-based religion which doesn’t seem to have any worshippers beyond the Greyjoys.

Maesters.  These are what passes for doctors and scientists.  They wear grey robes and a chain around their necks, with links of different metals representing mastery of different sciences.  They train at an academy, the Citadel, located in Oldtown, Highgarden.  There is at least one “dark maester”, somewhat of a necromancer, Qyburn, who works for Cersei Lannister.

The Wall.  North of Winterfell is a massive wall of ice which protects Westeros from various threats.  The most mundane threat are barbarians called wildings led by a “king beyond the wall”, Mance Rayder.  Although very savage with no laws, the wildings are human and have no particular magic qualities.  The darker threat are “Others”, essentially undead wights.  The wildings typically attack the Wall.  The Wall is defended by the Night’s Watch, a motley brigade of misfits and losers, Westeros’ equivalent of the French Foreign Legion.  Given the alternative of execution or “taking the black” (joining the Night’s Watch), many choose the latter option.  They can’t marry or have children, but they aren’t eunuchs and don’t exactly have a vow of chastity. 

Sex.  Sex is a major part of GOT.  Whores, maids, rape, “moon tea” (GOT contraceptive), and raunchy language and behavior are prevalent.  Marriages cement alliances and the bride has to be a “maid” (virgin). 

Again, it’s interesting how injecting sex into a fantasy story does wonders for attracting female viewers.

HBO Series.  Now that I’ve read the books I can compare one with the other.  The series takes substantial liberties with the dialogue and injects a fair amount of nudity and sex which is absent from the book, particularly Renly Baratheon’s “relationship” with Ser Loras Tyrell.  On the other hand, they are essentially faithful to the characters and plot, and the book has more than its fair share of nudity and sex anyway.

The stories are told in the third person, but from the viewpoint of specific characters, and it jumps around considerably.  Books 4 and 5 are almost, but not quite, parallel.  At this rate, the HBO series may well catch up to book 5 before Martin finishes writing book 6.  Some characters disappear and reappear later, while others….I’ve never seen an author like Martin who is so ruthless about dispatching sympathetic characters in a surprising way.  You really never know what will happen next, which makes his stories literally impossible to put down.  Of course, the rutting, whoring, raping, drinking, etc. are also part of the fun.