Easter

Up until now I’ve never done a blog on Easter!  That oversight will now be corrected.  Easter is the Christian religious holiday celebrating Jesus’ death and resurrection, which follows several weeks of Lent.  Here’s Easter 101.

Cast of Characters

Jesus Christ.  Son of God. 

Peter.  Top Apostle, first Pope, denies Jesus 3 times.

Judas.  Bottom Apostle.  Betrays Jesus to the high priests for silver coins which he promptly discards and then hangs himself. 

Pontius Pilate.  The Roman governor who sentences Jesus to death, then washes his hands of the whole thing.  Sometimes played by Gary Oldman or Michael Palin.

Important Dates Etc

Fat Tuesday.  The Tuesday before Ash Wednesday.  Since Lent will begin the next day (Ash Wednesday) (see below on Lent) this is the last day to indulge in all those naughty things you’ve promised yourself you’ll give up for Lent.  Carnival (see below) takes Fat Tuesday, in time and concept, and stretches it out a few days.

Ash Wednesday.  The beginning of Lent.   You’re supposed to go to mass in the middle of the week and the get black ashes smudged on your forehead.  Easter falls on a different Sunday each year due to some lunar deal the Church decided on and no one knows why.  Since the days work back from Easter, Ash Wednesday also falls on a different date each year, but it’s always a Wednesday.

Lent.  Approximately 6 weeks between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday during which time the priest wears the same cool purple robes as Advent but we have to give up something and won’t be looking forward to a load of presents at the end.   What you “give up” for Lent is up to each individual, but it should be something substantial, like fast food or beer, and not something like opium or robbing convenience stores, something you aren’t doing anyway.  My dad said that for the purpose of Lent, Sundays didn’t count, but I thought that was a cop-out, so I’d follow the restriction all the way until Easter Sunday.

Palm Sunday.  The Sunday before Easter Sunday.  It’s about Jesus entering Jerusalem on a donkey, and the enthusiastic Jesus fans strew palms in front of his way, so at church we clutch a small palm and wave it around at each other.  Keeping it around is a good way to alert people that you’re Catholic.

Holy Thursday.  The day of the Last Supper, when Jesus announced to the Apostles that He would be leaving them soon, to honor Him with bread and water (body and blood), and that one of them (could it be...Judas?) would betray him.

Good Friday.  The day Jesus was crucified.  That means nailed on a cross to suffer a long, painful death.

Easter Sunday.  Three days later Jesus came back to life.  For the next 40 days He stuck around. 

Ascension.  After those 40 days, Jesus went back upstairs.  It’s celebrated on a Sunday, but no one really does much about it.

Carnival.  You may have seen this most recently in “RIO”.  Guess what?  It’s an Easter thing!   Yes, that includes both the Rio de Janeiro, Brazil festival and New Orleans’ festivities which they call Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday).  Typically it starts the Friday before Ash Wednesday and ends on Fat Tuesday, but the Brazilians have to top everyone by continuing the debauchery onto Ash Wednesday itself.  Note that São Paulo, Recife, Salvador, and other cities in Brazil have their own Carnival – though Rio’s is the biggest and most famous – and other places around the world do it too.   Cologne, Germany has one they’re proud of, though you’ll find German tourists in Rio for Carnival.  Remember, Mardi Gras is New Orleans, not Rio.   

    Although I’ve been to Rio five times, one was the winter (June-July), twice was New Year’s Eve, and the remaining two times were up to a week before Carnival, so I’ve never been there for Carnival itself.  However, the blocos – drunken street parties – do begin a week before Carnival and I have enjoyed those.  The Carnival parades feature a nonstop array of painted naked bodies, samba school hinos (theme songs) repeated over and over again, and an orgy of noise and confetti, as I call it, a psychedelic sex parade.  Cariocas (natives of Rio) would have you believe that for Carnival, the entire city shuts down and everyone is continuously drunk, on drugs, having sex, etc. literally nonstop without sleep from Friday to Wednesday.  That includes the two blue birds.

Basket & Bunny.  Instead of lots of presents like at Christmas, traditionally in the US, Easter means the Easter Bunny – like Santa, completely divorced from any Biblical basis – brings candy.  Right, after fasting for all this time, your reward is chocolate and candy.  This is probably a big reason why Easter isn’t as popular as Christmas.  That and the morbidness of the crucifixion.

Movies.  Unlike Christmas, the movies on an Easter topic are far more faithful to the Jesus-On-A-Cross idea.  The Easter Bunny doesn’t compel our attention nearly as much as Santa does.  I’d say the big three for Easter movies, in my opinion, are:

1)         The Passion.  Mel Gibson’s movie, in Aramaic with subtitles (because we ALL speak Aramaic, right?) gets it really down and dirty, gritty, violent, the whole nine yards.  If you want it REAL, this is the one to watch.  You may be inclined to give up everything for Lent after watching this – or take your self-imposed restrictions that much more seriously.  On the other hand, it is difficult to watch, it’s very long, and it’s in Aramaic.  I can’t imagine anyone watching it more than once. 

2)         Ben Hur.  For epic-ness, look no further.  While Jesus isn’t the star of this one, Charlton Heston’s portrayal – and that bad-ass chariot race – really do the job nicely.  Warning, though, it’s a LONG film.  The 1925 silent version is worth checking out, just out of curiosity, but the 1959 version is the definite winner.

3)         Monty Python’s The Life of Brian.  Here’s a delightfully humorous view, which falls short of blasphemy.  Please note: Brian (Graham Chapman) is NOT Jesus.  Fun bits:  “Blessed are the cheesemakers”, “Romani ite domum” x100, “The Judean People’s Front!” and of course “Always Look On the Bright Side of Life”.  Arguably it tops “Holy Grail.” 

** Please note: PASSOVER is a Jewish holiday which happens to fall around Easter.   That’s about the Jews leaving Egypt, so watch “The Ten Commandments” instead of “Ben Hur”. 

There you have it.  After the Easter there’s Ascension, Pentecost, and then we wait for Advent again (usually first Sunday after Thanksgiving) for Christmas.  If you didn’t know before, you do now.