Fireworks

This July 4 I stayed home, as usual, but watched the fireworks on TV.  That is, the Macy’s NYC fireworks being blown off of ships on the East River between Manhattan and Bronx/Queens/Brooklyn.   As fireworks go, they were fine, and watching them on TV spared me the necessity of going to Bronx/Queens/Brooklyn or East Manhattan – as they were NOT visible from Fort Lee, New Jersey, which has an island of buildings called Manhattan blocking the view.   

Kid.   I recall when I was very small and young (both) we lived in Monkey Village, G-Burg, Maryland, USA, Earth, Solar System.  Our house had a good view of Lake Whetstone.  The local fireworks were launched from an island on the lake.  They went up in the sky, exploded, and made a noise which frightened Little Baby Me, so much so my Dad had to take me inside and miss the fireworks himself.  But soon thereafter I got over my fear and began the trek to being jaded and bored.

DC.   One year (probably in the early ‘90s) my friend Phil, Mariano, and I went down to the National Mall in DC near the Washington Monument and watched the fireworks for July 4.  These were big.  Huge.   Fabulous.  Make your head spin.   However, we got a Rain of Ashes, which was not good.  Nor was the huge crowd all trying to get on the Metro at the same time to go home.  I’m not aware that they ever televise the DC fireworks.

Paris.   In Paris, they celebrate their own version of July 4, which is Bastille Day, July 14.  On that day the gendarmes (cops) let everyone fire their own s**t.  That included us, in the Parc de Bagatelle.  And there may have been fireworks.   I don’t remember.  Maybe on July 14, 1989, which was their BiCentennial, 200 years since the sans-culottes stormed the infamous prison on the east side of Paris, liberating King Louis XVI’s political prisoners and starting the French Revolution.   We got to hear the Marseillaise over and over again.  Who knew there were multiple stanzas?  We found out.  Incidentally, I like the Marseillaise, as national anthems go it’s better than the Star Spangled Banner.   If I were the Trumpo, Supreme Asshole, I’d make “America The Beautiful” the national anthem.  Stay tuned in case that happens.

Meanwhile, back on July 4, we’d go to the Boulogne Compound and the Marines would BBQ fireworks and set them off.  That was cool.   Modest but fun.

Rio.   In Brazil, fireworks are for New Year’s Eve.  In 2001 and 2003 I was there, in Rio de Janeiro, for NYE.  In 2001, it was raining, but they went off anyway – which I thought was a miracle.  Then we had the same issue getting home, huge crowds, packed buses, trying to get to where we were staying in Ipanema.  In 2003 it was clear, and we were staying two blocks from the beach, which made getting home considerably easier.  They launch the fireworks from boats off the beach, at various “posts”.  They’re fairly impressive.  Everyone wears white for NYE.

By now, however, I’m “been there, done that” about fireworks.   Up they go:  BOOM!  Maybe some variations, but nothing new or different.  The Japanese fireworks I posted were a remarkable change, plus that earlier post about an accident when they inadvertently (or maybe deliberately, I suspect) set them all off at once, resulting in an immense fireball (San Diego, CA, 2012;  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXmvLf0DjqY).

Were it not for issues of fallout, I’d suggest using nuclear weapons as fireworks.  (E.g. Tsar Bomb, 1961, 50 megatons: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNYe_UaWZ3U).   Launch them offshore, or in remote locations.  Someone can figure it out.  Get working, people.