Romances

I’ll try to keep this brief, discreet (no last names, DOBs, or SSNs), and as unobjectionable as I can.

I don’t consider myself a ladies’ man, particularly handsome or charming.  I’ve had a string of romances but have never married, and very possibly never will, not due to any principled objection to doing so but more due to the absence of willing brides.  Here are the ladies most worth mentioning, though not all the relationships were equally substantial – the order is purely chronological.

Courtney.   American.  We were very friendly in elementary school, at our peak during summer of ’78 between my fourth and fifth grades at St. Martin’s in Gaithersburg.  Just kissing – what more can you do when you’re 9 years old?  No clue where she is now.

Catherine.   American.  We were friends at Marymount in Paris, later American School of Paris, from fifth through tenth grade.  One date: “The Gods Must Be Crazy” (high school) at a movie theater on the Champs Elysees.   After that she was “busy”.  I believe she went to William & Mary for college, but I’m not sure.  No clue where she is now.

April.   American.  Redhead.   Friends in college, University of Maryland, College Park.  We worked together briefly at the ice cream shop at the Stamp Union, but she refused to date me – nor did I date anyone else during that time.  We chatted online after finding each other on Facebook, but I have not met her in person since college.  She lives in California.

Lee.  American.  Classmates at GMUSL.  Never dated as she didn’t like me.   I didn’t date in law school, but of all the girls I met during that time, I’d call Lee my favorite.  I met up with her at lunch at a CLE a few years back, and she shows up at the local GMUSL reunions although she lives so far down in Virginia she’s practically in North Carolina. 

From law school (graduated in 1993) until CACI in 1999, I went on a few dates but nothing past that.  Likewise, I’ve been on several dating sites over the years and have had as much success – and mostly failure – as anyone else can complain about.  Too many were crash and burn occasions where the lack of chemistry was obvious immediately (“check please!”).  I can avoid naming names because I can’t remember them anyway.  By the way – I’ve heard women complain about the duplicity and dishonesty of men on dating sites, the #1 complaint being that the guys in question are actually married and using the site to score side chicks.  I don’t know that I’d say the same about the women I met, but I did find too many of them dishonest in other ways.  The sad thing about it is that at the time when it’s most crucial to establish trust, the parties are the least honest. 

Leila.   Brazilian (carioca).  GF from late ’99 to late ’03.  Met at CACI in spring 1999.  Three trips to Rio de Janeiro together, then visited her in Rio in 2004 and 2005.  She moved back to the US in summer 2007.   The romance did not resume, although we remain friends.   I learned Portuguese from her and caught the soccer virus from her as well.  Linda e carinhosa.

Julia.  Romanian.  Met online.  Not really romantic, as she preferred another American guy who promised to visit her and never did.  Saw her in Bucharest: dinner in August 2006.

Gia.  Romanian. Met online.  My fiance in summer 2006.  Saw her in Bucharest, April then August 2006.   She was cheating on me with her Romanian BF, while married to a Dutch man AND just finished living with a French guy, who she was living with while still married to the Dutch guy.  She dumped me because the Romanian BF, who was married, promised her he’d leave his wife for her – and of course he didn’t.  D’oh!  As it was, the Dutch guy had a Dutch GF which pissed her off, even as she was sleeping with me.  Did I mention that her social life was extremely complicated?   In any case, sponsoring her as a fiancé was complicated by her existing marriage to the dude in Holland.  Ended in August 2006.  Presumably she’s still living in Bucharest.  (Classic line: “shut up and f**k me”)

Reggie.  Phillipina.  Met on dating site.  Dated September ‘06 to November ‘06.  She moved to Chicago permanently in January 2007.  No clue where she is now.  Remember my beef about dishonesty on dating sites?  She complained that “men on here aren’t serious”, yet when we started dating in September she knew she would be moving to Chicago the following January.  “Consistency is all I ask for.”

Thao.  Vietnamese.  Former secretary.  Dated a few times from 2003 to present, but never reached intimacy as she really didn’t like me and simply liked me to buy her dinner.  Looking at her watch constantly was a nice touch.  Eventually I got the clue and stopped calling her.  She wound up marrying some Viet guy and I drafted a prenup for her.

Huong.  Vietnamese.  Former secretary. September to November 2007.  Dumped me for a man who lived in same house as her, then switched over to a colleague of mine.  Presumably lives in DC area with him.  Who knows?

Karina.  Brazilian (from Recife).  Dated in May 2008.  Saw her briefly in November 2008.   I’m friends with her friend Jana, who lives nearby.  Either she lives in Brazil or Florida, never any place close by.  I can’t complain about her as she’s nice and our relationship didn’t work out because she lived too far away, not any fault of hers.

Sarah.  Chinese (Yunnan Province).  Dated November 08 to January 09.  The relationship ended because she decided she didn’t like me.  She married an American guy and has a son with him. They live in Virginia. 

Loni.  Chinese (Shanghai).  As proud being from Shanghai as Leila was being from Rio.  June 2009 to present, she lives in Northern New Jersey, just outside NYC, and works in NYC itself.  Her son has graduated high school, college, and is now in the USAF.  One trip to L.A. in 2010, several trips, including Providence & Newport, and the Jersey Shore on numerous occasions (including last weekend).  She stayed with me in Virginia for several months in 2011 when she worked at Harris Teeter near Leesburg.  Mostly I drove to New Jersey back and forth, and even waived into the New York Bar, which took three trips to Albany.  She has a nice figure (rare among Asian women) and somewhat of a temper (not rare among Asian women), but she’s certainly interesting.  But where is Mary?

Somehow it seems I end up with exotic, foreign women, although that’s not my preference, simply how my life worked out – very much at random.  I’ve actually never had an American GF, much less wife – then again, I’ve never been married.   Who knows what might happen in the future?  I’m as clueless about that as anyone else.