Courtney

I started off the morning with no blog topic in mind and a third of three discs of “Two and a Half Men”, Season 5, to finish watching so I could send it back to Netflix – and finish season 5 as well.  At this stage in the show Charlie Sheen is still there, playing Charlie Harper, and Alan Harper (Jon Cryer).   Their mother, Evelyn (Holland Taylor) is going to be marrying a rich older man, Teddy Leopold (Robert Wagner), who has an adult daughter, Courtney (Jenny McCarthy), as seductive and provocative as she ever is.  Eventually we learn what’s really going on.

 Her name, though, reminded me of my own first love, Courtney Weller.  This was back at St. Martin’s in Gaithersburg, 1977-78, when we were in fourth grade (Ms. Duffy’s class), and about 9 years old.  There’s not much you can do when you’re only nine, sex obviously being out of the question.  But a date at Shakey’s Pizza in Rockville (now a Miller’s Alehouse) and a brief kiss, were the extent of the romance.  For some reason I got upset with her in fifth grade (fall 1978) and our family moved to Paris in January 1979 (spring semester).  I believe my fifth grade class, including Courtney, gave me a card that spring, but thereafter I lost touch with my St. Martin’s classmates.  For that matter, I don’t know if any of them wound up at University of Maryland College Park, which would have been the most plausible college destination.

 There’s a unique film, “There’s Something About Mary”, in which the protagonist, Ted (Ben Stiller) decides, decades after his prom date goes horribly wrong, to track down the girl, Mary (Cameron Diaz).  He hires a sleazy private detective, Healy (Matt Dillon) who tracks her down to Florida.   For his part, when Healy sees how attractive Mary is, he reports back to Ted that the girl is overweight, etc., and Ted sensibly takes the report as a fraud and goes down to see her for himself.   I think most of us are familiar with this, right?   Well, I can’t say I’m sufficiently motivated to track down Courtney.   Is she married with grandkids?  Or lonely somewhere in Maryland?  If she resembles Jenny McCarthy I’d be highly surprised.   Who knows?    

Pontiac 400 V8

 

This morning I looked through the Oldsmobile V8 parts in my apartment: an Edelbrock Air Gap 455 aluminum intake manifold, an Edelbrock carburetor (essentially a copy of Carter AFB), and camshaft, lifters, water pump and timing chain from Mondello.  Ideally these will go on the 455 Olds in my 1976 Pontiac Firebird Esprit.  They reminded me of the Pontiac 400 cubic V8 I had bought years ago.

Umpteen years ago, I bought that 400 out of a 1977 or 1978 Trans Am.  The yard that sold it to me claimed it was “shot” (which I later confirmed) but since I didn’t have a suitable car to put it in, my plan was to simply disassemble it for the sheer enjoyment.

By now V8 engines are fairly common, especially in American cars.  Of the Big Three – GM, Ford, and Chrysler – only GM had its separate divisions making their own engines, with Ford and Chrysler sharing engines across divisions.  In 1981 GM decided to follow suit. 

By the way - engines are rated by displacement, either cubic inches or liter.  V8s tend to vary from 265 cubic inches (4.3L) all the way up to 500 cubic inches (the Cadillac) (8.2L) (= "ci").  In the effort to get more power, you can either add nitrous oxide ("NOS!") (highly impractical on a street car and only a good idea for a car driven in quarter mile increments at the dragstrip), you can pump more air in off the crankshaft (supercharger) or from an exhaust-driven pump (turbocharger), or you can simply use a larger engine (displacement).  Turbo V6s do an excellent job of matching or exceeding the power of normally aspirated V8s, as Buick owners know.  

Leaving aside a very unpopular 1916 Chevrolet V8, the first GM V8 came from Cadillac in 1948, Oldsmobile in 1949, Buick in 1953, and in 1955 Chevrolet and Pontiac began making theirs.  For Chevy that was the “small block” which started at 265 ci (4.3L), eventually went up as far as 400 ci (though the Chevrolet 400 was never very popular) and for which the 350 ci (5.7L) remained the best and most popular.  Chevrolet also made a big block, available in cars from 1965 to 1976 and trucks for many years after, ranging from 396 cubic inches (1965) through 454 (1976) actually sold in cars and trucks, and larger displacements, e.g. 502 cubic inches, available as crate engines.  After 1981 Chevrolet was the only division making gasoline V8s; Oldsmobile was restricted to diesel V8s, Buick to V6s (e.g. its very popular 3.8L, often turbo’d in the Grand National, GNX, and the 1989 Pontiac Trans Am Twentieth Anniversary Edition, the only V6 Trans Am), and Pontiac to 4 cylinders (2.5L). 

Pontiac never went for “small” or “big” blocks, although their displacement varied from smaller ones, 326 and 350 (actually 355) in mid-size cars, 389 and 400 in larger cars, and 421, 428, and 455 in full-size cars – i.e. the Bonneville and Catalina, but also including the Firebird.  All these engines have the same size block, the differences being bore (cylinder diameter) and stroke (distance the piston travels up and down the cylinder from bottom to top dead center).  The 400 has a 4.12 inch bore by a 3.75 inch stroke, and the 455 has a 4.15 bore by a 4.21 inch stroke.  It’s possible to “455 a 400” by boring it out .030” and grinding the 455 crank main journals down from 3.25” to 3.00”.  I have no idea how many people actually do that instead of simply swapping in a 455.  Back when I had a 1980 Trans Am, we pulled the 301 out of it and were going to swap in a running 455 from a Bonneville or Catalina, but the donor car owner sold it before I could give him the money.  That left me with a Trans Am without an engine in it and no replacement engine lined up.  D’oh!

Anyhow.  To make matters more confusing, both Buick and Oldsmobile also make 455 cubic inch V8s, and they are completely different.  Oldsmobile and Buick also make 350 and 400 cubic inch V8s, which are likewise also completely different from their Chevrolet and Pontiac equivalents of the same displacement.  In 1970 Chevrolet increased the displacement of the 396 cubic inch big block engine to 402, but since everyone already knew the 396, they referred to it as a 396, but there are stories of it being referred to as a 400, when Chevrolet had a 400 cubic inch small block.  However, small block and big block Chevy V8s can be distinguished by the intake and exhaust ports:  E II EE II E on small blocks and EI EI EI EI on the big block. 

Among Pontiacs the 400 is a popular engine.  It was the main engine on the GTO from 1967 to 1972.  For the first generation Firebirds (1967/68/69) it served as the top engine, producing the Firebird 400.  That car had hood scoops which were mainly closed, but if the buyer paid for the Ram Air Option they were open and active.  For 1968 and 1969 the engine itself was different from the standard 400 in non-ram air cars.  The Ram Air II and Ram Air IV variants came with round exhaust ports on the cylinder heads which far outflowed the standard D-port heads (exhaust ports being a semi-circle, thus “D”).  When Edelbrock developed aluminum cylinder heads for Pontiac V8s it used the Ram Air IV heads as the starting point.  From 1970-1979 the 400 was available on Formulas and Trans Ams with four barrels and Esprits with a two barrel.  From 1971-76 the top engine in Formulas and Trans Ams was the 455, a high performance version from 1971-74 and a lower performance, station wagon version, from 1975-76.  If you wanted an automatic transmission in a 1979 Trans Am, your “6.6 LITRE” was actually an Oldsmobile 403, the largest Oldsmobile small block engine (185 HP); all 1979 Trans Ams with 400 Pontiacs had a 4 speed manual transmission (220 HP).  They did not put big block Oldsmobile V8s (400s, 425s or 455s) in Firebirds. 

In my case there was no confusion.   I purchased an engine stand and put the engine on that and slowly took it apart.  I took the carburetor off, a Rochester Quadrajet, cleaned it out and rebuilt it.   Since I never put it on a running engine myself, I have no idea if I rebuilt it properly.

I removed the harmonic balancer with a puller – it’s pressed onto the end of the crankshaft, with 4 bolts as opposed to the small block Chevy’s 3 bolts.  I removed the water pump and the timing chain.   I unbolted the intake manifold.  This was a heavy cast iron model, not an aluminum Edelbrock version.  I removed the valve covers.   Taking the cylinder heads off was an adventure, as the 5 bolts under valve covers were so covered in slime and grudge, all that had to be scraped off before I could even see the bolts.   I would imagine the cylinder heads had never been off this engine since it was installed in the car back in 1977.  I’d have to smash a breaker bar with a hammer.

These cylinder heads were cast iron, D-port heads, the so-called 6X heads.  Among Pontiac faithful, the best factory cast iron heads are round port.  I did have them cleaned but not ported, nor any 3 angle valve jobs.  I used a spring compressor and removed all the valves.   I purchased carb cleaner, which comes in a large can with a basket, and cleaned all 16 valves, springs, retainers, keepers, rocker arms etc.  I did not reinstall the valves.

Of course I removed the camshaft and all 16 lifters and pushrods. 

I removed all 8 pistons, then the main bearings, then the crankshaft.  At that point I could see that on some main bearing journals, the bearings slid one inside the other, wiping the main bearing journals.  The local machine shop confirmed the block was toast.   My father and I threw away the block and the crankshaft.  When stripped down to its bare essential, the cast iron block is liftable by two adult men.  The crankshaft is heavy, but liftable by a single person.  The cylinder heads, cast iron as noted above, are fairly heavy.  None of the items on this engine were aluminum or aftermarket. 

Due to the mixup on the 1980 Trans Am, I sold it, and when I did so, I included many of the working parts from the 400 V8 which were cleaned and salvaged. 

Hopefully I can get the Esprit running again and those Edelbrock and Mondello parts installed.  Then I can blog on that and its Oldsmobile 455.   

The Good Place

 Back to TV as a topic, in this case a show which recently wrapped up its fourth and final season on NBC and shown on Netflix.  And yes, it has an especially morbid subject matter: the afterlife. 

Several people die, and wind up in “The Good Place”, a euphemism for Heaven, Paradise, or whatever you want to call the afterlife where you go if you lived a good and moral life.  Which strikes these people as odd, as while none of them were candidates for “The Bad Place”, none of them were particularly nice either.  Eventually, by the end of season 1, we find out what’s going on, and over the next three seasons the characters navigate the politics of the afterlife.  The humorous part about it is that the people ostensibly running this whole shebang don’t seem to have it properly organized.  Millions of years and countless departed souls, and only now – with the assistance of these helpful, if imperfect souls – are they finally getting the whole thing sewed up properly. 

I don’t want to spoil anything for people who haven’t seen it, so I’ll try to keep my description brief and modest, though those of you reading this who have seen the show will know what I mean.

Eleanor (Kristen Bell, aka “Anna” from “Frozen”) (second from right in the above picture).  Garden variety selfish girl from Arizona, easily the least ethical of the group and the most puzzled as to her arrival.

Chidi (William Jackson Harper) (far right in the above picture).  A Senegalese philosophy grad student who cannot seem to make any decision.  He’s initially assigned as Eleanor’s soulmate.

Tahani (Jameela Jamil) (far left in the above picture).  An Indian girl, very tall, but also very vain – she can’t help name dropping.

Jason (Manny Jacinto) (second from left above).  From Jacksonville, FL, a big fan of Blake Bortles and none too bright. 

Michael (Ted Danson) (not shown).  The Angel assigned to watch over them.  His role changes as the situation does, but he remains sympathetic throughout, and eventually chooses to become mortal.

Janet (D’Arcy Carden) (center above).  Michael’s assistant, magically capable of granting wishes instantaneously, but needs a bit of help to get clues.  She has an evil twin.

The Judge (Maya Rudolph) (not shown).  Oddly, she isn’t God, but does have ultimate authority over the afterlife.

Shawn (Mark Evan Jackson).  Michael’s boss and frequent nemesis.

Ethics and morality are front and center here, plus the ultimate choice given to achieve – irrevocably – pure oblivion, or absolute death and peace of mind.   The bigger issue is that the souls in question achieve the prerogative to redeem themselves in the afterlife.   All four major characters are fairly young, none died of old age after living a life full of ups and downs and the ability to change ways after middle age became apparent.  Of course that also applies to children and babies who die well before they have the opportunity to develop a coherent moral system.

Since all of us are mortal, all of us ultimately will have to deal with the issues raised in what is otherwise a network (NBC) situation comedy.  That in itself makes the show remarkable, but I found it consistently enjoyable.  Now we’ll see what happens, won’t we?

Van Halen 2020

 The news on October 6 gave me this weekend’s blog topic.  Within minutes on Facebook, it seemed that literally everyone had heard of, and acknowledged, the untimely death of Eddie Van Halen, the famous guitarist for the band of his name.  I’m ill-inclined to simply tell everyone what they already know, so I’ll try to address the issue in a way that gives some form of personal perspective.

Those who know me personally know I grew up in Paris, France, attending high school at the American School of Paris, from 1982-1986.  These were the tail end years of the classic David Lee Roth era for Van Halen, though the first Sammy Hagar album 5150, came out when I was still at ASP.  As 1984 was the first VH album that came out after I got into the band, Diver Down must have been the most recent when I did, and my recollection is that it was Diver Down which was my introduction to the band.  I was shocked to read EVH saying he didn’t like the album, mainly because about half of it is covers long after the band learned how to write its own material – for which he blamed that singer guy, David what’s-his-name.

Of course I got the first album, and VH II.  At some later point I got Women & Children First and Fair Warning, but could never keep straight which was #3 and which was #4.  1984 and the later albums we got when they came out, except for anything after For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.

Live-wise, I didn’t get to see them in concert until Hagar was singing:  1988 (OU812 tour, Van Halen’s Monsters of Rock at RFK Stadium in DC) and 1991 (For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge Tour, November 1991, for which Layne Staley era Alice in Chains were the opening act).  Much later, in 2012, my brother and I caught a DLR-fronted lineup, with Wolfgang on bass, at the Verizon Center in DC (reviewed in more detail in my prior blog, “Van Halen 2012”, which was mostly about that show in particular rather than the band in general).  So no, I never saw the DLR & Michael Anthony lineup live.  And of course I didn’t see them open for Black Sabbath on the Never Say Die tour.

Roth vs. Hagar.   I have a slight preference for Roth, but Hagar certainly gets the job done on his own merits.  Each is so different as to be different to make a fair comparison.  The singer I completely zoned out on was Gary Cherone of Extreme. 

Influence?  Actually, slim to none.  My favorite two bands are Black Sabbath and AC/DC, thus Tony Iommi and Angus Young are my primary influences.  Sometime in college I discovered The Heavy Guitar Bible and blues/pentatonic scales, and once I learned those, all those Iommi and Angus solos suddenly came into focus – including “The Warning” and “Overdose”.   EVH is all over the place.  Here’s a guy with such an immense intuitive knowledge and natural talent that he essentially writes all his own rules for guitar.  I think I learned “Eruption” – all that double-tapping – and “Black & Blue”, and that was about it for learning anything by Van Halen on guitar.    

I read Hagar’s autobiography, and naturally Eddie figures in it.  Unfortunately, he had all sorts of issues which interfered with simply being a guitar player and keeping a band together consistently.   However, he didn’t die from a heroin overdose, or from alcohol-related issues, or even COVID19; it was garden variety cancer which punched his clock.  Whether we had V H tattooed on us and listened to the material every day, or were – as I was – shocked into reminiscing by his death and only now pulling out our Van Halen albums again to listen to in his honor, we all will be in mourning for awhile.  

Fender Stratocaster (Revisited)

 

Here was a topic I covered back in 2006, when my blog was on Myspace.  The earlier blog entries such as that one didn’t make the transition to Blogger, so I’ll redo it. 

Just this last Tuesday, I took my Gibson SG to the guitar shop in Falls Church, Virginia, Action Music, for a setup (restring, intonation, etc.) and saw they had various Stratocasters and a Twin Reverb amp.  A week or so before, I’d visited Fox Music – within walking distance, down Lee Highway, of Action Music – and saw they also had several Stratocasters – brand new (!) – as well as a Twin Reverb.  

Before I go on about Stratocasters, I’ll comment briefly on the Twin Reverb.  I’m a Marshall guy, with a 2554 Jubilee 25/50 watt combo (1x12”) and a Dual Reverb (4100) 100 watt head, 1960AV 4x12” cabinet half stack.  I love the rich, full distortion sound.   But for an amp with “reverb” in its name, the Dual Reverb (JCM900) has an extremely weak reverb sound, practically nonexistent.  A few years ago I tried out the Fender amp at Guitar Center, out of pure curiosity, and the reverb was incredible.  If there’s an amp that makes a clean sound good, it’s that one.  They started out at 85 watts, Fender boosted it to 130 watts, and then dropped it back down to 85.  If I ever wind up with another $1000 to spare, I might well buy one.  Not today.

To make matters even more interesting, marginally so, I put off finishing up the blog until after I’d done what I had to on Friday, which included a trip to Fairfax County’s courthouse.  I swung by the Fairfax location of Guitar Center, now re-opened, as it’s listed as the only Northern Virginia authorized Rickenbacker dealer.  Sure enough, high up in the rafters is a 4003 bass, and off to the side is a used Ritchie Blackmore signature Stratocaster: white, black pickups, scalloped rosewood fretboard and large headstock – for $949.  Of all the signature models, his is my favorite.  But I prefer my own Stratocaster, modified over the years (2000 to present) to my own specifications.

History.   Up until the 1930s, there were no electric guitars, only acoustic.  In the ‘30s, pickups – the electromagnetic device which captures the strings’ sound so they can be amplified - were invented, and slapped on acoustic guitars.  However, two men, Les Paul and Leo Fender, realized that a guitar with pickups doesn’t need an acoustic chamber and can, in fact, be simply a solid plank of wood.  Les Paul developed his own model, brought it to Gibson, but they laughed at him.  Leo Fender, oddly enough not a musician himself, developed the Telecaster (originally called the Broadcaster) and his invention, the first solid body electric guitar, introduced in 1948, was a hit.  Gibson realized their mistake and brought back Les Paul, who gave them the guitar which bears his name, in 1952.  In 1954, Fender upped the game with an improved model, the Stratocaster.

Initially the Stratocaster had three single coil pickups, a tremelo/vibrato bar, and was available in two color sunburst with a maple neck (to my eyes, a pale yellow).  By the late 50s, solid colors (e.g. black) became available; in 1959 the rosewood (dark brown) fretboard was introduced.   By 1965, Fender was in bad health and sold his company to CBS, the TV network.  That company enlarged the headstock, a design which lasted from 1966 to 1981.  Since then the standard headstock has been small, with various reissue models available.  The Strat also became available with double coil pickups (aka humbuckers), which are usually associated with Gibsons. 

Single vs. Double Coil.  Single coil pickups are thinner, more of a twangier sound, whereas double coil pickups have a thicker, meatier sound.  However, overdriven sufficiently, even an otherwise insubstantial single coil bridge pickup will sound almost as nasty as a humbucker.  Jimmy Page likes to remind people that the classic sunburst Les Paul he’s so often associated with, wasn’t on his agenda until Led Zeppelin II, and the first Led Zeppelin album, including “Dazed and Confused”, was recorded on the Telecaster he was using in the Yardbirds. 

Famous Players.   Jimi Hendrix, Ritchie Blackmore, Eric Clapton, Robin Trower, Jeff Beck, Mark Knopfler, David Gilmour, Dave Murray, Don Felder, Uli Roth, Yngwie Malmsteen, among many others.  Hendrix took right handed Stratocasters, flipped them over, and played them left handed (although there were lefthanded Stratocasters by then). 

Vs. Telecaster.  I never liked the Telecaster and have never even played one.  The lack of an upper horn, the headstock shape, etc., it still looks like Leo’s first practice attempt at a solid body electric guitar, which is what it was. 

Vs. Gibson.  As noted below, most of my guitars are Gibsons, which is Fender’s main US competitor.  Fender can and does put double coils on Strats, and Gibson has its own single coil pickup, the P90, which went on Les Pauls before the humbucker came out, and continues to feature on Specials and Juniors.  I like both companies’ guitars, and see no reason why anyone’s collection has to be exclusively Fenders or Gibsons absent budget constraints or an arbitrary preference.   

My Strats.  By now I’ve had several of my own.  I have 5 guitars: 4 Gibsons (Firebird, Explorer, SG, and Les Paul) and one Strat.  I’m not inclined to acquire more than one of any model, but rather pick what I consider the best version of that model, and the Stratocaster is yet another example.  So my progression was as follows…

1.         Applause Stratocaster Copy.  In September 1985, following my brother’s cue, I started learning to play guitar: first song I learned was “Saints & Sinners”, by Whitesnake.  And almost immediately I fixated on the Stratocaster.  But US made versions were expensive, and I had only just learned to play.  So I worked at the Visa Section of the US Embassy in Paris over Christmas holiday 1985-86 – under the guidance of a French guy, Bernard, who turned me onto Hawkwind - and in January 1986 I bought this.  Cherry sunburst with a maple neck.  Not great sounding, and the only “Strat” I ever had with a maple neck, but I was happy for awhile.

** Copies.  I may as well address this issue here.  The Stratocaster may well be the most copied guitar in the world.  In addition to faithful copies like my Applause, companies such as Ibanez, Jackson, and even Gibson have produced Strat-shaped guitars by the thousands.  Our own first guitar was an Ibanez Roadstar II, black with three single coil pickups.  I’d just as soon have a real Stratocaster, even if it was made in Mexico and not ‘Merica (California).  As Fender’s quality control went up and down over the years, some feel that there are many copies which exceed Fender’s quality.  Maybe, maybe not.  That being the case, I’ve never owned a Squier, which is Fender’s budget brand. 

2.         Fender Stratocaster (made in Japan).  By fall 1986 I was at college, University of Maryland, College Park.  My parents agreed to buy me this for Christmas 1986.  It was a Fender Stratocaster, made in Japan, black, rosewood fretboard, small headstock with standard logo.  It had a locking tremelo.  I liked it, and considered it a major improvement over the copy.  Eventually, though, I wanted a US made model.

3.         Fender Stratocaster, ’62 Vintage Reissue (made in the US).  I gave my Jap Strat and my Strat copy to my guitar teacher, Joel, who sold them for me, in June 1990.  I used the money to buy this, a US-made reissue model:  black, rosewood fretboard, three single coil pickups, small headstock with “spaghetti” (pre-CBS) logo.  Very nice, much better than the Jap Strat.  I made no modifications to this.  By January 1990 I had purchased my first Marshall, the 1x12” tube combo, 2554 Jubilee edition, so I had a nice combination – in addition to the Gibson SG ’62 reissue I’d bought in May 1989. 

4.         Fender Stratocaster, Fat Strat Deluxe (made in Mexico).  My current model.  By summer 1999 I’d fallen in love with the larger, CBS-style headstock, and saw this at the Ozzfest:  black, black pickguard, humbucker in the bridge position, rosewood fretboard, and the large headstock.  By January 2000 I succeeded in trading in my Vintage Reissue model for this – at Guitar Center in Seven Corners - and have been happy ever since.  I replaced the stock humbucker with a DiMarzio Tone Zone zebra coil (one black, one, white), replaced the stock tuners with locking tuners – just pull the string through and it catches, and stays in tune better than stock tuner – and the standard Fender tremelo with a Super Vee Blade Runner.  Pepper Keenan, in DOWN, can be seen playing what looks like one in the live video, “Diary of a Mad Band”.   Humbuckers on a Strat?  Yep, some of us like it that way, especially through a Marshall….