The Good Place

 Back to TV as a topic, in this case a show which recently wrapped up its fourth and final season on NBC and shown on Netflix.  And yes, it has an especially morbid subject matter: the afterlife. 

Several people die, and wind up in “The Good Place”, a euphemism for Heaven, Paradise, or whatever you want to call the afterlife where you go if you lived a good and moral life.  Which strikes these people as odd, as while none of them were candidates for “The Bad Place”, none of them were particularly nice either.  Eventually, by the end of season 1, we find out what’s going on, and over the next three seasons the characters navigate the politics of the afterlife.  The humorous part about it is that the people ostensibly running this whole shebang don’t seem to have it properly organized.  Millions of years and countless departed souls, and only now – with the assistance of these helpful, if imperfect souls – are they finally getting the whole thing sewed up properly. 

I don’t want to spoil anything for people who haven’t seen it, so I’ll try to keep my description brief and modest, though those of you reading this who have seen the show will know what I mean.

Eleanor (Kristen Bell, aka “Anna” from “Frozen”) (second from right in the above picture).  Garden variety selfish girl from Arizona, easily the least ethical of the group and the most puzzled as to her arrival.

Chidi (William Jackson Harper) (far right in the above picture).  A Senegalese philosophy grad student who cannot seem to make any decision.  He’s initially assigned as Eleanor’s soulmate.

Tahani (Jameela Jamil) (far left in the above picture).  An Indian girl, very tall, but also very vain – she can’t help name dropping.

Jason (Manny Jacinto) (second from left above).  From Jacksonville, FL, a big fan of Blake Bortles and none too bright. 

Michael (Ted Danson) (not shown).  The Angel assigned to watch over them.  His role changes as the situation does, but he remains sympathetic throughout, and eventually chooses to become mortal.

Janet (D’Arcy Carden) (center above).  Michael’s assistant, magically capable of granting wishes instantaneously, but needs a bit of help to get clues.  She has an evil twin.

The Judge (Maya Rudolph) (not shown).  Oddly, she isn’t God, but does have ultimate authority over the afterlife.

Shawn (Mark Evan Jackson).  Michael’s boss and frequent nemesis.

Ethics and morality are front and center here, plus the ultimate choice given to achieve – irrevocably – pure oblivion, or absolute death and peace of mind.   The bigger issue is that the souls in question achieve the prerogative to redeem themselves in the afterlife.   All four major characters are fairly young, none died of old age after living a life full of ups and downs and the ability to change ways after middle age became apparent.  Of course that also applies to children and babies who die well before they have the opportunity to develop a coherent moral system.

Since all of us are mortal, all of us ultimately will have to deal with the issues raised in what is otherwise a network (NBC) situation comedy.  That in itself makes the show remarkable, but I found it consistently enjoyable.  Now we’ll see what happens, won’t we?

The Satanic Bible

As promised, here is my analysis of this book.  It was published in 1969 by Anton LaVey, the founder of modern Satanism.  I originally read this in college (UMCP, 1986-90) at which time I was also reading another author, Ayn Rand.  The two authors are very similar, and LaVey admitted being influenced by Atlas Shrugged, Rand’s famous novel – which I’ve read three times.  This is certainly shorter and more concise than her book.  I’ve noted earlier that Satanism, as advocated by LaVey, could more accurately be described as a deliberately provocative form of atheism.  Re-reading it again as a 50 year old with almost 30 years of experience since finishing college, how does it hold up?

First Off, the Nine Satanic Statements.

1.         Satan represents indulgence, instead of abstinence!

2.         Satan represents vital existence, instead of spiritual pipe dreams!

3.         Satan represents undefiled wisdom, instead of hypocritical self-denial!

4.         Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates!

5.         Satan represents vengeance, instead of turning the other cheek!

6.         Satan represents responsibility to the responsible, instead of concern for psychic vampires!

7.         Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those which walk on all fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual developments”, has become the most vicious animal of all!

8.         Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!

9.         Satan has been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years!

Bravo, huh?  Here are a few more tidbits…

Book of Satan, Chapter III, Paragraph 4 states, “Are we all not predatory animals by instinct?  If humans ceased wholly from preying upon each other, could they continue to exist?”

Chapter IV, Paragraph 2 states, “There is no heaven of glory bright, and no hell where sinners roast.  Here and now is our day of torment! Here and now is our day of joy! Here and now is our opportunity! Choose ye this day, for no redeemer liveth!”

In the next chapter, LaVey claims that “it is a popular misconception that the Satanist dos not believe in God.”  He then proceeds to describe a system best known as “deism”, which means “I believe in God, but this God is passive and does not interfere in – or care about – the lives of Men.”  By this definition, the Founding Fathers were Satanists.   Go figure.  In any case, we’re on our own to live, love, fight, die, etc. with no expectation of forgiveness or salvation from any higher power.  Deism is, for all practical purposes, another word for atheism.

Indeed, he says, “all religions of a spiritual nature are inventions of Man.”  That being the case, why bother with Satanism?   LaVey answers that “man needs ceremony and ritual, fantasy and enchantment.  Psychiatry, despite all the good it has done, has robbed man of wonder and fantasy which religion, in the past, has provided.  Satanism, realizing the current needs of man, fills the large void between religion and psychiatry. The Satanic philosophy combines the fundamental of psychology and good, honest emotionalizing of dogma.  It provides man with his much needed fantasy.  There is nothing wrong with dogma, providing it is not based on ideas and actions which go completely against human nature.”   I suppose you could call it hedonism wrapped in ritual, rational self-interest provocatively flavored with historically taboo imagery but with no actual belief in a dark lord of evil downstairs.

Sex.  I’m too young to remember when LaVey and his gang were more famous and notorious – presumably this was during the late 1960s – but there is a chapter here about sex.  And it’s fairly common sense.  Satanism welcomes any and all sexual desires and activities but exclusively with consenting sexual partners.  This includes homosexuality, sadism-masochism, and group sex, but excludes children, animals, or partners who otherwise do not or cannot consent.  Masturbation, which presumably does not invoke issues of consent, is perfectly fine. 

Overall, the gist of this is pretty much the same as Ayn Rand’s Objectivism:  what we do with our 80-odd years on this planet before we die is our own business so long as we don’t hurt anyone else.   Aside from his brief reference to “preying”, which suggests deliberately abusing others, LaVey appears to echo the Non-Aggression Principle (NAP) which Libertarians center upon, which is “don’t initiate the use of force on others, but if attacked you are privileged to defend yourself appropriately.”

The second half of the book is absolute bullshit about Satanic rituals and the Enochian Keys, which I recall from the half-assed Necronomicon of days gone by.   The sole element of the book which makes any real, practical sense winds up, as I said before, being simply rational self-interest provocatively dressed in anti-Christian rhetoric.

The truly stupid thing about this whole thing is this.   There are TWO possibilities on this planet.  #1 is that there IS a Good Guy Upstairs and a Good Place, and a Bad Guy Downstairs and a Bad Place (as “The Good Place” TV show seems to show us, with Kristen Bell and Ted Danson, among many others).   #2 is that there is NO Good Guy Upstairs, no Good Place, nor any Bad Guy Downstairs nor any Bad Place.   When we die, whether we were the nicest person on the planet who died saving children, or the nastiest bastard who existed who murdered millions, is exactly the same:  permanent oblivion.

Let me address the second scenario first.   Classic Rock Magazine, up until 2018, had this Q&A thing at the end of the magazine in which they ask rock stars a bunch of deep questions.  “What can you do better than anyone else?”  “Any regrets?”  and 80% of the time, “do you believe in God?”  A surprising minority flat out state that they don’t believe in God.  A similar proportion, also a minority, state that they DO believe in God and identify as Christian.  The rest tend to say something like “I believe in a higher power, but not an old guy in a white beard, or organized religion per se.”  George Thorogood joked that “I pray when I fly”.  

One particular guy, who I can’t recall, said something remarkably different: “Logically, I know there is no God and no afterlife.  But emotionally I can’t accept a world without a God or an afterlife.  So I’ll choose to believe in them anyway.”   To me, that was the best and most honest answer anyone gave.

If scenario #2 is the true situation, then all this nonsense about Satanism, dogma, ritual, etc. is just that: nonsense.  Ayn Rand, who essentially believed and argued the same things as LaVey did – and as noted earlier, clearly influenced LaVey – avoided all that and kept things real.  For all her arrogance and hypocrisy, she didn’t give us this idiocy.   If there is nothing wrong with consensual sex, with masturbation, with enjoying yourself while you live without hurting anyone else, why accept the mantle of evil, of Satan?  “If good’s on the left, I’m sticking to the right.”  Rand wouldn’t accept that.  And neither should anyone else.

And if scenario #1 is the true situation, LaVey, who died in 1997, must be rather warm right now….