Showing posts with label more. Show all posts
Showing posts with label more. Show all posts

Friday, March 29, 2013

A Tale of Two Toms: Becket and More


How about this for an abrupt swerve from last week: the stories of Thomas A Becket and St. Thomas More, as told in “Becket” and “A Man For All Seasons.”

Becket” (1964).  Peter O’Toole plays English King Henry II; Richard Burton plays Saxon Thomas Becket, an old drinking and whoring buddy of the King’s.  Becket warns his friend that the Church in England is getting too powerful: powerful enough to challenge his sovereignty.  Henry’s solution: to replace the recently deceased Archbishop of Canterbury with none other than Becket himself.  The only problem with this is that, once anointed Archbishop, Becket suddenly finds himself taking the job seriously. 
            Conflict arises almost immediately:  a priest is accused of molesting a young girl (some things never change).  The church insists that its priests are subject to canon law and courts, not garden variety civil law.  But the local noble takes the matter into his own hands and has his men murder the priest without even a trial – civil OR canon. Becket’s reaction, as appropriate for his position, is to excommunicate the noble.  In retaliation, Henry then has his own goons murder Becket in his own cathedral.  Bad move.  Becket was essentially murdered for following his conscience and acting as the Archbishop should have.
[Getting back to Oscar issues: the film won the Oscar for best adapted screenplay, although it had been nominated for eleven other awards.]

A Man For All Seasons” (1966).  Fast forward a few centuries – same country, though – and a few Henry’s.  Now it’s Henry VIII’s turn to behave badly.  England needs a male heir, but Catherine of Aragon, the Queen, doesn’t seem to be able to pop out any babies – male or female – for the king.  He’s extravagantly played by Robert Shaw (probably best known from “Jaws”).  Paul Scofield, looking like the 60s version of Christoph Waltz, plays Thomas More, an upright, Catholic lawyer who is very calm and low key – probably never the King’s whoring wing-man.  A petty weasel, Richie Rich (no, not the cartoon character), played by a very young John Hurt, implicates More, who then goes on trial.  Only at trial, faced with the patent injustice of the situation, does More finally explode and express some form of passion.  Essentially More won’t bow to Henry and accept his “marriage” to the presumably more fertile Anne Boleyn.  So his head gets chopped off.
[Perhas the competition at the Oscars was less two years later, as this film won six Oscars, including best picture and best actor.]
            Adjusting the audience’s attention to the “chick flick” factors, “The Other Boleyn Girl”, with Eric Bana as H8, and Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson, was a juicier take on the same topic – indeed, with Thomas More completely absent from that film.

In the battle of Henry vs. Thomas, the Henrys are 2-0.  Each Thomas was motivated by his conscience, and took down just himself.  H8 at least went through due process, as farcical as the trial was.  I would imagine the distinction was due to a major event between the two.  Becket was executed in 1170, More in 1535 – and More himself cites the intervening factor, the Magna Carta, signed in 1215. 

In “The Meaning of Life”, Graham Chapman plays a Protestant man who explains to his wife that the difference between the Catholic and Protestant churches is that the latter allows him to put a condom on his “willie”.  The more accurate difference is that the Protestant church not only allows vicars to marry, but also for couples to divorce.  The church’s origin stems from H8’s need for a male heir.  

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Gigli v. Plan 9


Another X v. Y comparison, this time regarding two supposedly horrible films, each notorious for being total turkeys. Which is worse?

 Gigli. Jennifer Lopez plays a lesbian "hitwoman" and Ben Affleck is the oversexed "hitman", both assigned to watch over a mentally challenged younger brother of a Federal prosecutor, really as a hostage to force the US attorney to drop charges against a crook – who is played by...Al Pacino! Throw this one into the "Love at First Hate" category, which we could see a mile away. While Affleck’s character gives us is "you’re the cow, I’m the bull"-shit, Lopez’ gives her own variety of Zen Buddhist lesbian ideology – each being somewhat entertaining on their own terms even if you can’t really take them seriously. Ultimately they figure they can’t knock off the kid, who has grown on them (especially his endearing devotion to "the Baywatch").
 Redeeming factors? Pacino, who basically reprises his Satan character from "The Devil’s Advocate"; Christopher Walken, with a brief part as a local cop (similar to his "Pulp Fiction" role); and Lopez, who is so hot in this film it cancels out her complete nonsense. She reminded me of an Asian chick I used to date, but truth be told, Lopez is 10x hotter than her, particularly in this film. Perhaps the ladies aren’t going to consider that much of a offset, unless they feel the same way about Ben Affleck. He does get to show off some beefcake, if that’s your scene.
However, overall I don’t think the movie is "shit" or "bad", it’s nothing worse than merely mediocre. I’m puzzled why it has such a terrible reputation.

 Plan 9 From Outer Space. The classic Ed Wood sci-fi/horror low budget masterpiece from 1958. Hmm. Aliens from another planet come down in a flying saucer and bring the dead to life! We’ve combined sci-fi and horror in the same movie! Vampira lurks around with an improbably slim waist, huge hands awkwardly probing in front of her, neither scary nor attractive (not much competition to Elvira or Morticia); the vampire guy simply holds his cape in front of his face (hiding the fact that he's a vampire??), and walks at what looks like a snail’s pace (can’t anyone outrun him??); and the zombie police chief simply scowls - "ooh, scary, spooky!" as Count Floyd, the Canadian vampire from SCTV might say.
 It turns out the aliens – who look like humans in Flash Gordon gear - are disturbed that humans have developed the atom bomb, and it’s only a matter of time before these stupid, puny humans ("all humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo!!!") learn to explode solar atoms, which will create a chain reaction to destroy the sun itself and then the whole universe. Uhh, yeah (in Bill Lumbergh voice). The heroes are a Pentagon officer, the local police detective, and a commercial airline pilot (Will Ferrell for a remake?). They manage to smash up some of the aliens’ machines (which look like vacuum tube computers – space travel with vacuum tube technology, something we expect from the Russians!) and set the flying saucer on fire. Boom! That’s it for the threat. So much for superior alien technology.
 Is this really such a bad film? I suppose I’m the wrong person to judge, as I generally don't like horror films. To me 99% are crap, with only a few such as "The Thing" (Carpenter version) and "The Sixth Sense" being awesome enough to trascend the genre and merit serious consideration as real movies. It certainly wasn’t unwatchable or damnably laughable. I thought it was entertaining, which is what movies are all about, right?
Neither is "worse" because neither was really "bad" after all. What’s the big deal?

 I’ve never felt a movie was so bad that I actually left the movie theater before it was over. The closest to this was "The Thin Red Line", the atrocious WWII movie with Jim Caviezel. It came out at the same time as "Saving Private Ryan" but wasn’t anywhere close to as good. The action sequences weren’t bad at all. What was frustrating was that the film was so damn long. Just when you thought it was over, they’d go back to some stupid sequence of naked kids swimming on some idyllic tropical beach, like this was some deep-ass philosophical bullshit countering the blood and mayhem with which it was alternating. No, it was just plain annoying. I was tempted to leave early, but decided to stick through it.

 A movie I actually returned without finishing was "The Valley", the movie for which Pink Floyd’s album Obscured By Clouds was the soundtrack. Plot? Incredibly stupid. A bunch of idiotic hippies have some stupid gay feather, and they’re looking for more of these feathers, on an island which has a portion which – like Skull Island in "King Kong" – is perpetually covered by clouds and thus only attainable on foot. I got fed up about halfway through, so maybe they did meet a huge ape or some dinosaurs (though I doubt it). No sign of Jessica Lange or anyone as hot as her. I’m as big a Pink Floyd fan as anyone else, and I do love Obscured By Clouds (particularly "Free Four") but this movie was too much to endure. "More" is a far better film – a better plot, even if it does end somewhat abruptly. LSD & heroin on Ibiza? Pot in Paris? And a good soundtrack? This film IS worth checking out.