YOB & Lynyrd Skynyrd

Friday the 13^th?  Not a fan of the movies or the superstition itself.

Yet again I take a perverse pleasure in reviewing my two most recent concert experiences, bands which have absolutely nothing in common aside from playing music.

YOB, Metro Gallery, Baltimore.  This is a club north of the Pennsylvania Station with little in the way of seating (up against the wall facing perpendicular to the stage) and a stage facing away from the entrance, basically just a big empty room.  The band itself is a doom metal trio from Eugene, Oregon, consisting of Mike Scheidt (guitar/vocals), Aaron Rieseberg (bass), and Travis Foster (drums).   Opening acts were Bell Witch and some band not identified except in indecipherable logo on t-shirts for sale.  These acts did a good job of playing the stoner rock which us stoner rock fans know and enjoy, though their performances fell short of inducing me to purchase any of their material or pursue them further.  Sorry. 

Yob’s songs are long, slow, heavy, obnoxious, and truly radio-unfriendly as you might expect from any band referred to as “doom”.  Scheidt cites the following bands as influences:  Neurosis, Tool, Immolation, Saint Vitus, Soundgarden, Deep Purple, The Obsessed (Wino again), Judas Priest, Pentagram, Trouble, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath (de rigeur for doom bands), King Crimson, and Pink Floyd.  Some tracks do get a bit mellow and change up the rhythm a little to keep it from getting too oppressively doomy.  In that regard, however, Elder (who I still haven’t been able to see in concert) do a better job.  Both band’s newest albums are the best so far of their material. 

Albums: Elaborations of Carbon (2002); Catharsis (2003); The Illusion of Motion (2004); The Unreal Never Lived (2005); The Great Cessation (2009); Atma (2011); Clearing the Path to Ascend (2014); Our Raw Heart (2018).  All but the first album are available on Spotify.

Set:  Ablaze, The Screen, The Lie That Is Sin, Breathing From The Shallows, Adrift in the Ocean, and Our Raw Heart.  Six songs in about 90 minutes = 15 minutes per song.  [Their live album, Live at Roadburn (2010) similarly features four songs over an hour, again averaging 15 minutes per song].  Having driven up myself this show was straight edge for me, no inebriants of any nature.  Despite that, and despite the nature of the music, I enjoyed it from start to finish and even more remarkably had no trouble driving home from Baltimore.  Wonders never cease. 

Lynyrd Skynyrd, Jiffy Lube Live.   Prior to the show the ads conspicuously refused to acknowledge who the opening acts were, but they turned out to be:  Atlanta Rhythm Section, Foghat, and .38 Special.   ARS I ignored as I was picking out a t-shirt at the concession stand.  Foghat I enjoyed, particularly the only two songs I knew, “I Just Wanna Make Love To You” and “Slow Ride”.   .38 Special was a band I’d known of but never actually listened to, so I was fresh in my assessment of them being a slightly commercial copy of Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Skynyrd themselves?   I got into them in college, picking up the first two albums Pronounced Leh-nerd Skin-nerd and Second Helping on cassette from Kemp Mill Records, probably in spring of 1988, followed by Nuthin’ Fancy (last album with Ed King), Gimme Back My Bullets, Street Survivors (last original studio album, only one with Steve Gaines on it), the live album One More From The Road, and the bonus albums First…And Last & Legend, both of which are simply collections of extra tracks left around.   These five studio albums were the core released from 1973-77 and the only ones with Ronnie Van Zant on them.  Thus the classic original lineup was Ronnie Van Zant (vocals), Gary Rossington (guitar), Allen Collins (guitar), Ed King/Steve Gaines (third guitarist), Leon Wilkinson (bass), Billy Powell (keyboards), and Bob Burns/Artimus Pyle (drums).  RVZ and Steve Gaines died in the infamous plane crash.  That was when their charter plane, supposed to take them from South Carolina to Louisiana, ran out of fuel and crashed in the forest of Mississippi on October 20, 1977.   

In 1987 the band reunited for a tour, and after legal issues were resolved finally released a new album in 1991 with the remaining surviving members, remarkably Ed King returning as Allen Collins had died the year before.  From then until 2012 they released 9 albums:  Lynyrd Skynyrd 1991, The Last Rebel, Endangered Species, Twenty, Edge of Forever, Christmas Time Again, Vicious Cycle, God & Guns, and Last of a Dyin’ Breed.  Ironically, that’s almost twice the output of the original lineup, though not quite as productive in terms of albums/year.  Then again, during the 60s and 70s bands were pushed to release no less than an album per year PLUS touring, which obviously took its toll even on young, energetic musicians.  But now natural causes conspired to thin the herd, gradually and not in one fell swoop, e.g. plane crash: Ed King left after Endangered Species, Leon Wilkinson died after Christmas Time Again, and Billy Powell died after God & Guns.  Rickey Medlocke, best known as the singer/guitarist for Blackfoot, had actually been in LS before the first album came out, and joined the band for Twenty. 

Thus of the original band, only Gary Rossington is left.  Part of my reluctance to see the band in concert up to now has been the knowledge that Rossington is the only member left, although the replacement members are very much competent and the substitution is not one I’d be in a position to ascertain, having been a kid in the US well below concert attendance age in 1977. 

Of these newer albums I only have the two most recent: God & Guns and Last of a Dyin’ Breed.   Fortunately 1991 through Edge of Forever are all on Spotify for me to listen to when I get the chance.  The last two I have heard do a competent job of replicating what RVZ might have done had he survived 1977.  However, neither Gimme Back My Bullets nor Street Survivors seem to be as consistently heavy hitting as the first three, notwithstanding Steve Gaines pouring new energy into the band on the last album.  Figuring what post-’77 LS would look like with RVZ alive is speculation at best.  Who knows, maybe there’s a parallel dimension where their plane didn’t crash and RVZ decided to turn the band to disco or heavy metal. 

Current touring lineup, then.  In addition to Rossington, they have Johnny Van Zant on vocals.  Notwithstanding the lyric “my only son” in “Simple Man”, ZVZ is the younger brother of (sign of the cross here) Ronnie Van Zant, and their brother Donnie Van Zant is the singer for .38 Special.   Rickey Medlocke, who favors Korina Gibson Explorers, effectively takes Allen Collins’ place in the group.   The remainder are Mark Matejka (third guitarist), Keith Cristopher (bass), the appropriately named Peter Keys (keyboards), and Michael Cartellone (drums).   As noted they did their jobs to my satisfaction, there being no reason Gary Rossington couldn’t find capable replacements for his fallen comrades.

Set: Workin’ For MCA, Skynyrd Nation (only newer song), What’s Your Name, Travelin’ Man, That Smell, I Know A Little, Whiskey Rock-A-Roller, Saturday Night Special, The Ballad of Curtis Loew (deep cut added to the set to the audience’s immense satisfaction), Tuesday’s Gone, Don’t Ask Me No Questions, Simple Man, Gimme Three Steps, Call Me The Breeze, Sweet Home Alabama, and guess the encore:  FREEBIRD. 

Overall an excellent show.  JVZ talks a bit much, but not too much.  Some good footage on the screen behind them, particularly during “Breeze”.   CSA flags were in abundance among the audience, as you might expect, although the band themselves only showed it briefly in the screen footage.  JVZ’s banter suggested that the band is patriotic and loves America, but with no express exhortation to “Make America Great” or any references to our current President, I’m wondering if they didn’t vote for Gary Johnson.  I can’t imagine anyone in the band voting for Hillary Clinton.   

This gets us back to the CSA flag debate.  Skynyrd has never expressed any support for slavery, secession, subjugation of blacks, or any political position which might be asserted, directly or indirectly, by the overt display of what we commonly refer to as the Confederate flag.  They are from Jacksonville, Florida, and straddle the line of being a rock band which happens to be from the South, vs. a southern rock band, whatever that might be.  I’ve never heard of Ronnie Van Zant or any other band member expressing any political views which would be negatively associated with the CSA.  Anyhow.  I’d say this is a prime example where the CSA flag might well merit a pass.  The funny thing is, the audience was 99.99% white….

Twin Peaks The Return aka Season 3

I’ve finished a few series and will blog about each of them in turn, so be patient.  This entry is about “Twin Peaks: The Return”, what is effectively season 3 of the famously bizarre TV show, “Twin Peaks”. 

First off, while I was aware of the series when it originally aired, as noted in my prior blog on the topic I refused to watch it expressly because of all the hype.  I generally don’t watch a whole lot of network TV, and I wasn’t a big TV head back when this came on either.  As of today I rarely bother to turn on the TV, but I do like Netflix and watch much programming after the fact.  I don’t binge-watch, though – my patience runs out after a single drama episode or a few sit-com episodes.  Anyhow. 

In addition, my tolerance for bizarre and strange things increased exponentially since the show originally aired, which is how and why I was able to finally digest it decades later.   In the recent past I finally watched the first two seasons and the movie.  FYI, Kyle MacLachlan seems to work well with David Lynch and has been with him in “Dune” and “Blue Velvet”.  I’ve already done blogs on both Twin Peaks (3/24/17) and Kyle MacLachlan (4/14/17). 

Season 1.  8 episodes.  Originally aired April 8, 1990 through May 23, 1990.

Season 2.  22 episodes.    Originally aired September 30, 1990 through June 10, 1991.

Movie:  Fire Walk With Me.  Released August 28, 1992.  Featuring Chris Isaak as the FBI agent before Cooper, whose disappearance Cooper was investigating.  Likewise, this goes into much more detail about why Cooper was investigating the town AND finally shows Laura Palmer’s death.  Either highly entertaining or tedious depending on how badly you still like the show.

Season 3.   This was on Showtime instead of network TV.    I started watching it there and finished with it on DVD.  18 episodes   Originally aired May 21, 2017 through September 3, 2017. 

Good news.  90% of the major characters are here, including Agent Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan).  In fact, you get not one but TWO Coopers:  a nasty, long-haired fully articulate but dangerous lowlife version, and a clean guy in suit and tie who is borderline catatonic:  he merely repeats the last word the last person said, which no one recognizes as mental illness and everyone accepts immediately as tacit understanding of the conversation. 

Diane, the recipient of Cooper’s tape recorded instructions, finally shows up, played by Laura Dern.  Log Lady is here, Andy and Lucy, Hawk, etc.  In fact, most of the original cast is still here – though obviously somewhat older – and Bobby Briggs is now a deputy with the sheriff’s office.  His father, Air Force Major Briggs, disappeared at the end of season 2.  In this regard you can count on it being Twin Peaks.

Bad News.  Weird to the point of being incoherent.  Even the ending made no sense.  As noted, my tolerance for weird-for-the-sake-of-weird has gone up big time since 1990, but even now I found much of it deliberately nonsensical.  If that’s what you want, knock yourself out with another 18 episodes of the same weird incoherence you knew and loved from the first two seasons and the movie.  Don’t expect much in the way of answers.  Well, at least now you have TWO Coopers AND Diane to be surly, petulant, and chainsmoking. 

Bonus: RIVERDALE.   Those of you who remember an older cartoon from the 50s and later, plus the late 60s animated series, might recall the mostly wholesome adventures of Archie Andrews, Jughead, Betty Cooper, Veronica Lodge, Reggie Mantle, Moose & Midge, Dilton Doiley, etc.  Well, take that, mix it into Twin Peaks, and you have “Riverdale”.  Season 2 just began.  FYI, the Veronica Lodge, Camilla Mendes – not just a brasileira, but a carioca (see last week’s lesson) – is super hot (gostosissima).   Also Jughead is actually pretty cool and not a glutton, nor does he swear off girls in favor of food – Cole Sprouse has grown up since “Zack and Cody”.  And not only does Riverdale wind up looking like Twin Peaks, Madchen Amick is in both; in “Riverdale” she plays Betty Cooper’s mom, Alice – get it?  Check it out. 

Romario e Seus Amigos

World Cup time again, perfect time to split up into Those Who Care and Those Who Don’t.   I’m sure you know which one you are.   

In the past I had a namorada brasileira (carioca orgulhosa) who got me into futebol.   We watched Brazil beat Germany 2-0 in the final in 2002, our comrades chanting PENTA CAMPEAO (five times World Cup champion) at the Summers in Arlington, first thing on that Saturday morning, followed by some street party in Adams Morgan.   From then on I’ve been watching and occasionally seeing the game in person, though I’ve yet to see any World Cup games in person.  I was not a fan in 1994 when the Cup occurred in the US. 

Flamengo vs. Fluminense, Maracana, February 2004.  The same day as the famous Janet Jackson Super Bowl which was actually between the Patriots (Tom Brady) and Panthers (Jack Delhomme).   Maracana is famous as the world’s largest soccer stadium and is in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.   We were in the lower deck – the upper deck was the insane fans.  One half in red & black chanting MEN-GO and the other half in dark green and maroon chanting NEN-SE.   Flamengo went ahead by 1, Fluminense scored three goals – game over, right?  Not so fast.  Flamengo came from behind to make it 4-3 MENGO.   Romario was playing for Fluminense in this game.

FYI, Brazil has a STATE of Rio de Janeiro, as well as the CITY of Rio de Janeiro.  Until Brasilia became the country’s capital in the late 1950s, RJ (as it’s called) was the country’s capital.  People from Rio are called cariocas.  The city has four major teams:  Flamengo (colors red & black, horizontal stripes), Fluminense (colors dark red, white, and dark green, in vertical stripes), Botafogo (colors black and white in vertical stripes, white star on black shield); and Vasco da Gama (colors white with black diagonal sash and red Maltese cross) (yes, the famous explorer).   I’ve been to the complexes of Flamengo and Botafogo.  What’s interesting about Brazilian teams is that the franchises also include teams of other sports, mainly basketball, volleyball, fencing, Magic: The Gathering, and martial arts - the UFC dudes are Brazilian, remember?  Imagine the Patriots having a baseball team, a basketball team and a hockey team. 

Brazli's national team, the Seleção (CBF), has been in every World Cup since 1950, and never failed to qualify.  It won the whole thing in 1958, 1962, 1970, 1994, and 2002, and as runner up in 1950 (lost to Uruguay) and 1998 (lost to France).  Its worst showing was exiting in group phase in 1966 (UK).  

   

Brazilian players love this “one name” deal, and here are some of the most popular.  Most start out with a famous Brazilian club, get famous and signed by top European teams, then wind down back home in Brazil.

Ronaldo (Ronaldo Luiz Nazario de Lima).    The original, from Brazil, not to be confused with Cristiano Ronaldo.   From Rio de Janeiro.  He played for major European teams Real Madrid, Barcelona, AC Milan and Inter Milan.  He started out with Cruzeiro (Belo Horizonte, Brazil) and ended with Corinthians (São Paulo, Brazil).   He scored both of 2 goals in the 2002 final against Germany.    

World Cup appearances for the Seleção (Brazilian National Team): 1994, 1998, 2002, 2006, 2010.  

  

Ronaldinho (Ronaldo de Assis Moreira).  Younger and darker skin, nowadays trying to marry two girls at once.  Originally from Porto Alegre, down south where Gisele Bundchen comes from.   Back when I was paying more attention he was playing for Paris St-Germain – Neymar’s current team – and then Barcelona.  I saw him play for the latter team in an exhibition game against AC Milan at RFK.  I recall he was on 2002 World Cup team.  He started with Gremio (southern Brazilian team), and went to Flamengo and Fluminense on his way back down.

World Cup appearances for the Seleção (Brazilian National Team): 2002, 2006, 2010. 

Rivaldo (Rivaldo Vitor Borba Ferreira).  From Recife, northeast Brazil.  Started out at Palmeiras (green team from São Paolo), then Barcelona and AC Milan, then back to São Paulo FC and São Caetano back in Brazil.  I remember him doing this “faking injury” BS which soccer players are so notorious for.

World Cup appearances for the Seleção (Brazilian National Team): 1994, 1998, 2002. 

Romario (Romario de Souza Faria).  Now in the Brazilian legislature, born in Rio de Janeiro, so he’s a true carioca.  Spent time at PSV Einhoven (Holland) and Barcelona.   Of the four RJ teams, Botafogo is the only one he never played for. 

World Cup appearances for the Seleção (Brazilian National Team): 1990, 1994, 1998.

Pele (Edson Arentes de Nascimento).   Famous from the 1958 and 1970 teams – I think he was injured in 1962.  He’s still famous and generally in the public eye.  Hasn’t run for president of Brazil…yet.   For a long time he was the only soccer player any American knew about.   Oddly, he stayed with Santos (São Paulo port city) team for his entire Brazilian career, then played briefly with the New York Cosmos in the late 70s to try get Americans to give a s**t about soccer. 

World Cup appearances for the Seleção (Brazilian National Team): 1958, 1962, 1970.

Garrincha (Manuel Francisco dos Santos).  Famous for playing for Botafogo.  Small and bowlegged with a remarkably complex and tragic social life, another one of these players as famous off the field as on it.

World Cup appearances for the Seleção (Brazilian National Team): 1958, 1962, 1966.

Zico (Arthur Antones Coimbra).   Most closely associated with Flamengo - and another carioca.  Pele considers him "second best" - guess who Pele considers the best?   Well esteemed though with the misfortune not to be associated with a World Cup winning national team.  
World Cup appearances for the Seleção (Brazilian National Team): 1978, 1982, 1986. 

Coming back to the present…

Neymar (Neymar da Silva Santos Junior).   A Paulista, he started with Santos (Pele’s team), signed with Barcelona, and is now with Paris St-Germain. 

World Cup appearances for the Seleção (Brazilian National Team): 2010, 2014, 2018.

Cristiano Ronaldo.   I’ll add him here just for clarification – because he’s Portuguese and not Brazilian.    The majority of his career has been with Manchester United and Real Madrid.  I have a few of his jerseys – including a purple Real Madrid I’m wearing right now.  

Way Up High

No, NOT a weed reference – this time.  Recently I saw two things which piqued my interest in this topic.  The first is watching the Netflix show “Marseille”, and observing one particular building dominating the French city’s skyline atop the tallest hill in the city, the Notre Dame de la Garde.  The other was seeing a photo of spectators watching the Yankees vs. Pirates World series game in Pittsburgh from the Cathedral of Learning at the University of Pittsburgh.

Some of these, like the examples just given, are not particularly tall in and of themselves, but rise up high simply by virtue of being on the tallest part of the city, i.e. a large hill.  For the genuine skyscrapers I’ve listed heights.

George Washington Masonic National Memorial (Alexandria, Virginia).  The Heights of Buildings Act in 1899 restricted the heights of Washington, DC buildings, after the Cairo Hotel freaked everyone out.   Technically the tallest structure in the city is the Washington Monument.  The law was prompted by the Cairo Hotel and doesn’t have anything to do with the Washington Monument, which I don’t really consider a building.   Mind you, Baltimore has its own Washington Monument, but theirs is much smaller.

Rosslyn, Virginia, across Key Bridge from DC, has a fairly decent array of skyscrapers, though the tallest of these is still only 381 ft and nowhere close to what they have in NYC or Chicago.  Mainly you see them from Georgetown.

My own condo building, Skyline Plaza, at Bailey’s Crossroads, is 26 stories and about 333 feet tall.  Across George Mason Drive is One Skyline Tower, a building of similar height which stands higher due to having a base 50 feet higher.  The latter is a government office building with no observation deck nor access granted to ordinary people.  My building, and the South building next door, have impressive observation decks, and the view from my own 20 floor balcony is also pretty nice.  On the other hand, in periods of immense fog you literally just see a solid wall of white, which is weird but cool.

The George Washington Masonic National Memorial (Alexandria, Virginia) sits on top of a huge hill.  There’s a free tour which sends you up each level and tells you all about how Washington was a Mason.  Both the tour and the view are worth checking out.

Arlington County Circuit Court, in Arlington, Virginia.  12 stories, with a fairly decent view from the top of the surrounding area.  Though for most non-lawyers, a trip to the courthouse is probably going to be an unpleasant experience.

Empire State Building and World Trade Center, New York City, NY.  I’ve been to the ESB a few times, and both the original World Trade Center (Twin Towers) and the new single tower version, its impressive observation deck – much better than the previous one.  The ESB, at 1250 feet, was the tallest building in the world at the time of its completion in 1931,  surpassed in 1973 by the WTC at 1368 ft. itself replaced by the Sears Tower in 1975.  The new WTC is 1776 feet tall.

Willis (formerly Sears) Tower, Chicago, Illinois (1450 ft).   I haven’t been to Chicago.  In “The Blues Brothers”, the pursuing Nazis accidentally drive off an unfinished overpass and somehow drop down past the Sears Tower on their way to  street level. 

Cathedral of Learning, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  Apparenlty not all that tall in itself, but up high above the city.  IF I’m ever in Pittsburgh I’ll see about visiting it.

That’s it for America the Great.  How about around the world?

Eiffel Tower (1063 ft), Sacre Coeur, Tour Montparnasse, and Tour First (Paris, France).  Of these four, I’ve only been to the first two.  Of course the Eiffel Tower is famous, and was the tallest building at the time of its construction for the 1889 World’s Fair in Paris.  It was originally intended to be taken down in early 1900s, but fortunately they changed their minds and let it stay up.   I visited in April 1979 and more recently in October 2017.  Sacre Coeur (Sacred Heart) stands up on the highest part of the city, Montmartre, the scene of where the Paris Commune broke out in March 1871.  The view is actually pretty nice.   Tour Montparnasse is relatively recent (1973), and although the Left Bank building does have an observation deck, I haven’t been there yet.  Finally there's Tour First at La Defense.  The Eiffel Tower is still the tallest building in France.

Notre Dame de la Garde.   On top of the tallest hill in Marseille, the second largest city in France and right on the Mediterranean.  I haven’t been to Marseille yet, though we drove by it on our trip to the south of France in summer 1979.

Burj Khalifa (2717 ft), in Dubai, UAE.   This building is now the tallest building in the world since its completion in 2008.   It was designed by the same firm that did the Sears Tower and the current WTC.  If anyone knows what the view is like, let me know – I haven’t been there.

Cristo Renentor (Christ Redeemer), Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.  Corcovado, the huge hill upon which Jesus spreads out his arms over the city of Rio, is already well above the rest of the city and had an observation platform before the statue was erected in the 1930s, a gift from the French.   No statues for London or Berlin, sorry.  Although you can’t go up inside Jesus, the area around it gives a nice view of the city, accessible by cable car or a long and winding drive.  Enjoy.

The Last Kings of France

A weird confluence yet occurs.  I had been planning on posting this last week, yet the Caps’ Stanley Cup victory over the Las Vegas Golden Knights was a more pertinent and timely subject, whereas French kings who haven’t reigned since 1848 were somewhat less so.  Then, in the interim, Netflix saw fit to send me Disc 2 of Season 2 of PBS Masterpiece Victoria, featuring the improbably babacious Jenna Coleman as the young Queen Victoria.  Episode 2 of this set chronicled the Queen’s quest to France to persuade French king Louis Phillippe not to marry his son to the Spanish queen.  Victoria reigned from 1837 to 1901, LP from 1830 to 1848, so the period 1837-1848 was an overlapping period.  Given that this segment takes place around the time of the conception of her third child, Alice, born April 1843, it must have been summer of 1842. 

Louis Phillippe was played by Bruno Wolkovich, but he looked a bit like Bryan Cranston.  No matter how faithfully the man portrays LBJ or other characters, I will always fondly think of him as Walter White.  “England is not the danger.  I AM THE DANGER”.  Anyhow.  I would hope more substantial elements of my own life fitted together as conveniently as Netflix rentals and blog entries, but that’s a matter for me to take up with the Man Upstairs on my usual Sunday visits to the area’s Catholic churches. 

In addition, I’ve been reading Les Miserables (in English) and it’s been dredging up the July 1830 Revolution. This was the three day trouble which evicted Charles X and put in Louis Phillippe.  At the same time I wondered whatever happened to Louis XVII.  Thanks to Wikipedia, here we go again…

Louis XVI.   Supporter of our cause of independence, L16 had the bad luck to be King when the Shit Went Down in 1789.  However, it wasn’t until January 21, 1793 that he met the Guillotine in the Place de la Concorde in Paris. 

Louis XVII.   Knowing about L16 and L18, I always wondered why there was no L17.  It was because although he existed, he never reigned as king.  Born in 1785, he was 4 years old when the revolution broke out in 1789 and 8 when his father was executed.  By that time he was kept under guard nonstop and generally mistreated.  He died of tuberculosis in 1795 at age 10, most likely due to being kept in unsanitary conditions.  Usually we think of princes and princesses leading lives of utmost comfort, being spoiled and told they’re gods, etc., but in his particular case he had the misfortune of growing up during a revolution, among some pretty rough characters who really disliked the royalty.  We don’t even know what he would have been like as king.  Truly tragic.

Anyhow.

Louis XVIII (1814-1824).  L16 had two sons, but both of them died before they could actually take the throne.  L18 was L16’s younger brother and next in line by French rules of succession.  L16 was deposed by the Revolution, which was followed by the First Republic, then the First Empire (Napoleon), finally winding down with Napoleon’s first defeat in 1814.  L18 had fled France and bounced around from various palaces until 1814, when he came back to Paris with the victorious Allied armies which had defeated Napoleon.  The Allies wanted France to be a constitutional monarchy and found L18 an acceptable candidate, as well as the actual heir to throne, so they installed him.  Aside from Napoleon’s 100 day return with its dramatic conclusion at Waterloo, after which Napoleon was more securely detained, L18 was the king from 1814 to 1824. 

He served without much drama or problem until his death in 1824.  He never got along with his wife – mutual disgust – and had no children.  He wasn’t particularly brilliant or skillful and had no notable redeeming qualities, so as a monarch he was somewhat mediocre.  Having said that, mainly Louis XVIII’s job was to manage France so it neither invaded Europe again nor collapsed into chaos, and as such he did it properly.  He was the last French king whose reign ended with his death.

Charles X (1824-1830).   L18 died in 1824 without children, so his younger brother Chuck – also L16’s brother - took over at that time.  His most notable accomplishment was beginning the French invasion of Algeria, though that didn’t become complete until 1875.  He didn’t seem to have much in the way of people skills or political savvy, so by 1830 he pissed everyone off enough to cause the Three Days of July (27, 28, and 29), referred to in Les Miserables.   He was forced to abdicate and his cousin, Louis Phillippe, took over as a constitutional monarch.

By the way.   I’ve been to Place de la Bastille and seen the July Column.  All I knew about it is that it stood where the infamous prison had been.  Long before Haussmann & his boss Napoleon III expanded the city to its current 20 arrondissement size in the 1860s, the inner rim of arrondissements would place Bastille at the southeast edge of the city limits, straddling numbers 4, 11, and 12.  The prison was demolished, replaced first by a fountain (1793-1813) then by a huge plaster elephant, described in Les Miserables.  That stood until 1846.  LP had the July Column erected in 1840, meaning that between 1840 and 1846 both the column and the elephant were there.  Set the Delorean for 1843…. 

Louis Phillippe (1830-1848).   When I lived in Paris, I was oblivious to this man.  When I returned last fall to Paris, I recognized him at Versailles and the Louvre – in paintings, not in person (our personal encounter at the Louvre was none other than Madame Macron herself, France’s First Lady).  He took over from C10 and lasted until another revolution, the famous 1848 revolutions which sprung up around Europe, the Communist Manifesto being released at that time.  He’s got the mutton chops, huge belly, and fancy pants of the mid-1800s – a French version of the famous John Bull personification of England.

He was a colonel in the French army in the early revolutionary period, apparently of strong bravery and good skill.  Bravo!  But during the Terror (1793) he had to flee overseas.  Thus began the Louis Phillippe Tour:  Switzerland, Germany, Scandinavia, Finland, then a 4 year US tour including Philadelphia, NYC, Boston, and meeting A’Ham and G’Wash.  Then off for a brief Cuban jaunt, followed by 15 years in England from 1800 to 1815.  With his cousin L18 on the throne he would have been safe to return to France again. 

With the July Revolution of 1830, LP took the throne.  He tried to be unpretentious and humble, but he identified too much with the bourgeois, and his policies favored them over the poor.  Ultimately France was caught up in the same revolutionary fervor of 1848 which swept across Europe, with socialism and communism finally expressly articulated in Marx’s Communist Manifesto.   He discreetly abdicated and moved to England to finish off his life in peace – having survived no less than seven assassination attempts during his reign. 

For those of you more intrigued, by all means check out Episode 5 of Season 2 of PBS Masterpiece Victoria, which should give you a nice show of interaction between Queen Victoria and Louis Phillippe.  Nothing that would make Prince Albert jealous, however…

Hockey

I had been planning to discuss the last Kings of France, but when the Capitals won the Stanley Cup Finals in game 5 against the Vegas Golden Knights last night, I decided this topic was more timely.   Those of you sitting on the edge of your seats dying to know about Louis XVIII, Charles X, and Louis Phillippe, will have to wait a week.  Hockey was not a big thing in France from 1814 to 1848.  Sorry.

Despite being from the DC area, I’ve never been much of a Capitals fan.  They’re affectionately known as the Caps.  I’d suppose they might be referred to as the Craps in Las Vegas, were it not that this word means something quite different in that city due to its main source of income.   

They share the same venue, the Verizon Center, as the basketball team, the Wizards.  That team was formerly known as the Bullets, until the crybabies whined that the name was a sad reflection on DC’s unsuccessful experiment with gun control.  I’d have renamed them the 9mm Jacketed Hollowpoints, but no one asked me. How many people died in DC because the basketball team was named the Bullets?  How much magic has occurred in DC since they renamed the team?  Zero on both counts.  Anyhow. 

I’ve been two a total of TWO hockey games in my life.  In the late 70s, a group of my young male colleagues were treated to a game at the Capital Centre in Largo, Maryland, between the Caps and the now-deceased Colorado Rockies.  I can’t remember who won the game, but I recall being modestly entertained.   Since we moved to Paris soon thereafter, any interest in seeing hockey in person would have been curtailed by its absence in Paris. 

The second game was in March 1991 when I was visiting my high school buddy Sean in Ottawa, Canada.  He correctly ascertained that a visit – however brief as a weekend, as mine was – would not be complete without a hockey game.  We watched – and enjoyed – a game between the Ottawa ‘67’s and the Sudbury Wolves.   As enjoyable as the experience was, it did not compel me to see any further games of any teams.   Then again, my most likely reason to visit a hockey arena is to see a band play, not watch a hockey game.

What I know.  This will be brief.

1.         It takes place on ice, in a venue which probably also holds basketball games.  Not at the same time (though that might be more entertaining).

2.         It began in Canada in the late 1800s.  The NHL began in 1917, but the NHL had its major expansion in the late 1960s.  Up to that point it was essentially six teams:  the Montreal Canadiens, the Toronto Maple Leafs, the Boston Bruins, the Chicago Black Hawks, the Detroit Red Wings, and the New York Rangers.   All of Toronto's championships date from this era.    

3.         Like basketball, and unlike football and baseball, there’s no real offense and defense, those switch with whoever has possession of the puck.

4.         The goal is to hit the puck into the opposing goal past the goalie.

5.         Trophy.  It’s big and tapers down to a large base.   Joe Elliott learned this the hard way, but we all know what a major hockey team Sheffield United is, right? 

6.         Goalie.  He wears a mask, so he looks like Jason from Friday the Thirteenth. 

7.         Penalty box.  Generally the sport is fairly brutal (“I was at a bar and a hockey game broke out”).  If you are TOO brutal you wind up in the penalty box for some time, meaning your team is now down by one player.

8.         Finals.  Best of 7.   Probably a reason I’m not a fan – I prefer this one-and-done stuff like the NFL playoffs and Superb Bowl, where every game is effectively game 7.

9.         Canada is the country most associated with hockey, but competitive players come from Russia and Eastern Europe as well.  There was a player named Satan, which I found amusing. 

10.        The Miracle on Ice.  The US is typically not competitive in Olympic Hockey.   Oddly, despite 5 World Cup victories, Brazil has ZERO gold medals in Olympic soccer.  Anyhow.  In 1980, at the Winter Games in Lake Placid, NY (we had boycotted the Summer Games in Moscow) we managed to beat the Soviet team and win the gold medal.  And there was much rejoicing. 

I realize there is a certain amount of subtlety to any sport where you have to skate on ice, but so far as I can tell, ultimately hockey is still about smacking the puck into the opposing goal, which you do skating on ice and knocking your opponent out of the way without being sent to the penalty box.    

Eddie Murphy

Recently, the criminal action against Bill Cosby reached a verdict:  guilty of sexual assault.  And this is apparently not the first or only victim.  As yet he has not been sentenced, but that hearing will be coming up soon enough.   So we’ve moved beyond mere allegations to an actual conviction by a Pennsylvania jury. 

This reminded me of Eddie Murphy’s earlier comedy routine in which he made fun of Cosby chastising him for using foul language in his comedy act (Raw, 1987).   This is the one which starts with Murphy (as Cosby) declaring that, "I would like to talk to YOUUU [dramatic pause] about the things that you say [another dramatic pause] in your show."  To date, Murphy’s only crime has been an accusation, which fell short of a criminal act, much less a conviction, of picking up a transvestite, Shalimar Seluli, in 1997.  Murphy’s story is that he was only giving the person a ride.  Given his history of heterosexual relationships and no other accusations of similar behavior, I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. Think of him as an unsuccessful Uber pioneer.

According to deposition transcripts of civil actions against Cosby for similar behavior, this pattern of behavior goes back to the 1970s.  So it was going on when Cosby criticized Murphy.  SMH.

Anyhow.  I still consider myself a big fan of Eddie Murphy even though his more recent track record of performances has been less than it was back in the 80s, when he was at his peak. 

Basics.  Born in Brooklyn and grew up on Long Island.  Consider him a New Yorker.  Amen.

Saturday Night Live.  He was on the show from 1980 to 1984 and among its best stars at the time.  His major characters were Buckwheat (“O-tay!”), Gumby, and Velvet Jones.   I’m ambivalent about SNL.  I’d say the quality of the actors generally exceeds the quality of the writing, and Eddie Murphy is no exception.

48 Hours.  His first major role, while he was still on SNL.  He and Nick Nolte try to track down a criminal (James Remar).  Entertaining and worth watching. 

Beverly Hills Cop.  Now there are three, with a fourth due out.  His character is from Detroit but goes to L.A. to solve crimes, assisted by the uptight locals, Judge Reinhold being the more amusing of the two.  Serge was also funny.  I’m not as much a fan of the films as others might be, but I still like them.

Trading Places & Coming to America.  These are my two favorites.  In “Trading Places” he teams up with SNL comrade Dan Aykroyd and Jamie Lee Curtis to take down the Duke Brothers.  In “Coming to America” he teams up with Arsenio Hall to find a suitable bride to be his queen.  Where?  In Queens, of course. 

Stand-up.  I never had the pleasure of attending his shows and being stunned speechless by his bad language, but two of them made it to high quality performances caught on VHS/DVD:  Raw (1987) and Delirious (1983). 

Shrek.   Although his more recent films have been poorly received – though I haven’t seen the “Dr Doolittle” ones – he’s been stellar as Donkey in the “Shrek” films.  Hell, l like Donkey far more than Shrek (who, let's face it, is essentially just a big green asshole), and I’m sure many others feel the same way.

Dreamgirls.  I saw this once and forgot about it.  He actually has a dramatic role he does extremely well, similar to Adam Sandler’s performance in “Spanglish”.   Worth checking out for him alone, though his character is second tier in terms of importance.

Vs. Richard Pryor.   Murphy cites Pryor as a major influence.  For that matter, he also cites Cosby.  As for Pryor, I’ve never been a fan of his and don’t really care for any of his comedy or movies.  He seemed more mean spirited than funny.  I will make one exception and strong recommendation, though:  check out “California Suite” (1978), which has him teamed up against Bill Cosby.  While there are plenty of other stellar teamups in this film, e.g. Maggie Smith (Professor McGonegall from “Harry Potter”) & Michael Caine, Jane Fonda & Alan Alda,  Walter Matthau & Denise Galik, I thought the Cosby vs. Pryor matchup was the funniest.