The Confederate Flag

God forbid I choose a relevant topic.   I just came back from Albany, and the Museum of New York loves to tell us how New York was the most important state for the Union (although they admit that as a percentage of its population, Vermont sent more soldiers to fight).  Part of a mural in the New York State Capital Building shows Union troops fighting Confederates, who are brandishing – guess what??? – the Confederate battle flag.  Let’s see if the furor will have workers erecting scaffolding in Albany to erase the offending image. 

Now, about the Confederate Battle Flag (hereinafter, “CBF”, please do not think I’m referring to the Brazilian Football Federation).  Yes, I know that it was never the actual flag of the CSA and was more like a military flag or naval ensign.  Though if you look at the actual “Stars and Bars” you can see what Georgia did:  it took advantage of the fact that most people only know the CBF and don’t recognize the actual flag of the CSA when they see it.

Let’s start by saying this is still a free country.  Any private individual should be free to express himself (or herself) with a CBF.  Fly it on your porch, from your pickup, or emblazon it on the top of your ’68-70 Dodge Charger.  Private sellers are free to stop selling it, and I imagine those which continue to sell it will laugh all the way to the bank.

Whether it’s included on the state flag (e.g. Mississippi) or flying on the state capital (South Carolina) should be up to the voters of that state to determine.   If they’re proud and want to give the rest of the country the middle finger, by all means vote to keep it.  If they’re ashamed, vote against it.  It’s that simple.

“OMG, what does it mean?”  I can understand those who sole purpose in showing the CBF is “southern pride”, which might not even necessarily be “white pride.”  I can see black people in the South as being proud of being from the South – they didn’t all move up to NYC or LA after 1865.  I find it hard to believe, though, that blacks would want to demonstrate “southern pride” by flying this flag.  And I can’t blame them for associating this flag with the Confederacy and its values. 

By the way: please, please, please shut up about “state’s rights”.  The only state’s right the Confederacy had any interest in defending was its “peculiar institution”.  So yes, the Civil War WAS about slavery, not state’s rights.  Does that mean flying the CBF is an explicit endorsement of slavery?  Not necessarily, but let me draw a potential parallel.

The battle flag of the Third Reich (above middle) is still available for sale.  It copied the old imperial German battle flag but changed the basic color from white to red and substituted the swastika in the center left in place of the imperial German eagle.  For that matter, you can probably still buy the flag of Nazi Germany:  red with the white circle and black swastika.  Instantly recognizable, as you might well imagine. 

Fly them, and then make the following claim.  “I don’t support or condone Nazi Germany, national socialism, totalitarianism, anti-Semitism, or any of the values of Nazi Germany.  I simply wish to show pride in the military prowess of the Wehrmacht (Heer, Luftwaffe, Kriegsmarine) and Waffen SS, as well as esteemed German generals like Erwin Rommel or Heinz Guderian.   That’s all.”   See how many people accept that argument.  React with shock and horror when Jewish people condemn you.  “They’re missing the point I’m trying to make!”  Uh, yeah.

Having said that, I do believe the “southern pride” argument is not that weak, and here’s why. Circa 2015 I can’t imagine that any appreciable percentage of people flying the CBF sincerely wish to (A) bring back slavery or (B) secede from the US.   Such goals were unrealistic back in the late nineteenth century when the Ku Klux Klan was born, and are no more realistic today than they were then.  Apart from angry voices in the wilderness, vague and empty threats of secession barked out on the Internet or Facebook, no one seriously proposes either of them.  So it would be a mistake to attribute this agenda to anyone waving the CBF in 2015.

There’s also a fair amount of defiance involved.  We’re a plural society.  “America” doesn’t necessarily mean one particular group.  Whites from the South don’t relate to New Yorkers, gangsters from Chicago, hipsters from Seattle, or trendy types in California.  Each subset of our country wants the right to be proud of their particular niche in American society. 

Does flying any such flag count as “fighting words” or “shouting ‘FIRE’ in a crowded theater”, which might merit some form of content-based regulation to keep the peace and avoid bloodshed and riots?   That would have to depend on the circumstances, but probably not.  The courts have protected the Klan’s right to march, as well as “Illinois Nazis” (free from being plowed off a bridge by a Mount Prospect, IL former cop car?) to march and express their values, as unpopular as they are.   So most likely the rights probably stand with the CSA/Nazi crowd on this one. 

Here’s another idea.  In Harry Turtledove’s Timeline 191 series, the South wins the Civil War (the War of Secession, as it’s called), wins a subsequent Second Mexican War in 1881, but then loses World War I.  The US, allied with Imperial Germany, wins that war.  The Nazi Party never materializes, but an analogous party erupts in the defeated Confederate States: the Freedom Party.  This party takes the Confederate Battle Flag and reverses the colors, so it's a red cross on a blue field (above right).    You could fly that flag instead (assuming anyone sells it – it’s a purely fictional flag) but be warned.  In the stories, the Freedom Party took power in 1934 and started World War II in 1941 in the United States, invading Ohio from Kentucky and battling Pittsburgh.  However, the regime also began annihilating its blacks in concentration camps.  Does this sound familiar?   Even the Confederacy never tried doing that.  So a Freedom Party flag could be more provocative than a Confederate Battle Flag.  

Even so, the First Amendment protects free speech and freedom of expression, and that may include language we don’t like or agree with, or images we find offensive.  As a Union sympathizer, however, I will not be flying a CSA flag anytime soon.  Maybe I need a 35-state Union flag on the roof of my ’09 Charger.  

The American Revolutionary War

“Revolution” seems a bit of a misnomer: we had to fight a war for independence and then set up our own form of government after that.  War is a better word.  This is an early post, with July 4 coming up close at hand.

The whole thing began in New England in April 1775 with the battles in Lexington and Concord, Massachusetts, followed by the Battle of Bunker Hill in June 1775.  Rebel militia, if not defeating British Redcoat regulars, at least inflicted punishing losses.  Over the winter of 1775 the sides were stalemated, until March 1776 when the rebels brought up cannon, forcing the British to evacuate Boston.

Our own invasion of Canada – a campaign lasting from September 1775 to June 1776 – failed.  Blame Canada.

The British, remarkably enough, did not have conscription or a draft (except for limited press-ganging for the Royal Navy).  They relied on volunteers and when those fell short, German mercenaries, most of which were from Hesse, thus “Hessian”.   They also expected Loyalists (Americans loyal to the King) to help in bigger numbers, but consistently overestimated that help.  A substantial number of Americans actually stayed neutral, and Loyalists, in addition to being less numerous than expected, were also of little assistance unless substantial British regulars were nearby to protect their families back at home from harassment by rebel sympathizers.  That is, the Brits could only recruit Loyalist troops from areas under their control (e.g. New York and other coastal areas). 

NY & NJ.  The next phase took place mostly in New York and New Jersey.  In addition to Newport, Rhode Island, the British took Staten Island without a fight.  They swept Long Island until Brooklyn, at which point rebel resistance stiffened.  However, for some reason General Howe refused to finish off the rebels in Brooklyn – like Hitler’s mysterious halt at Dunkirk – and as at Dunkirk, the good guys managed to slip away to safety, in this case Manhattan.  The Brits chased Washington out of Manhattan, into New Jersey, where Washington managed to keep his army alive, conducting a fighting retreat, similar to Rommel in North Africa from October 1942 to May 1943.  At various points Howe had the opportunity to crush Washington’s army, but held off on doing so, even to Washington’s surprise. 

In December 1776 Washington crossed the Delaware into Pennsylvania, but came back later that month to surprise the Hessians at Trenton, and stayed for the winter at Morristown, New Jersey.

1777 opened with the Brits taking two separate – and uncoordinated – campaigns.  Down south, Howe took Philadelphia – without a fight – but did not coordinate with Burgoyne coming down from Canada to attack Albany.  Without Howe’s help, Burgoyne was defeated near Albany in September and October, a climactic battle at Saratoga.  This put an end to Burgoyne’s campaign and essentially defeated half of the British army in America.  That left it up to the other half to get things done.

For the winter of 1777, Washington camped at Valley Forge, just outside Philadelphia.  In addition to nurturing his battered army, Washington got Baron von Steuben to give it a crash course in military training:  meaning the US Army which emerged from Valley Forge in 1778 was a disciplined, trained regular army for once, although Washington never had enough regulars to avoid relying on militias and guerillas for the rest of the war.

In 1778, the French, Spanish, and Dutch entered the war.  The French were willing to do so openly, while the Spanish and Dutch preferred to keep their assistance “under the radar”.   The timid and mostly ineffective General Howe was replaced in May 1778 with General Clinton, who abandoned Philadelphia to defend NYC.  Washington then marched back up to White Plains, but the British held on to Staten Island, Manhattan, and Long Island for the remainder of the war.

The British were also hampered in their war efforts in America by the need to defend their overseas possessions elsewhere, in the West Indies and in India.  A US attack on Newport in August 1778 failed, but by October 1779 the British had abandoned Newport anyway.  Over the winter of 1779 Washington’s army was again weakened, but British attempts to wipe it out were defeated by NJ militias.  Benedict Arnold defected in September 1780, but his last major act of any significance for the British was a failed attack on New London, CT in September 1781.

Their campaigns in PA, NJ, NY and MA failing, the Brits then attempted to gain some success down further south.  While they managed to take Savannah, GA and Charleston, SC, attempts further inland consistently failed.   Horatio Gates took over US forces, later to be replaced by Nathaniel Greene; Cornwallis commanded the British forces in this campaign.  He won several battles, but at costs which severely depleted his armies and forced him to retreat back to Wilmington, NC.   Thus by late 1780, only the coastal regions were securely in British control.

In early 1781 Cornwallis went up to Yorktown and established a base there, joined up by Arnold who had been raiding Virginia and received reinforcements from New York.  Washington sent Lafayette and Wayne down to oppose him.  The French sent a huge fleet to the Chesapeake – far larger than the British imagined or expected, effectively blockading Cornwallis from the sea.  With Washington facing him on land and the French blocking him from the sea, Cornwallis was trapped.  By October 19, 1781, he was forced to surrender.  In terms of active hostilities on land, the war ended at this point.

North’s Tory government in the UK resigned in March 1782, and the Whigs took over.  Initial peace treaties were signed in November 1782, with the Treaty of Paris in September 1783 finally ending the war and establishing American independence once and for all. 

Washington’s role is hard to overestimate.  He had to not merely command troops in battle, but also keep his army intact during retreats AND deal with a rudimentary government which had little power to assist him in anything.  America’s Fifth Column, its diplomatic efforts – e.g. Benjamin Franklin – also deserve immense credit.  Without help from Von Steuben in reforming the US Army, and direct (and indirect) help from the French, Spanish, and Dutch in keeping the Brits busy elsewhere and directly opposing them at Yorktown, the British may have been able to defeat the Americans.  Some credit also goes to Howe for being so timid in attacking US forces, basically the McClellan of this war. 

As an aside, check out A Transatlantic Tunnel! Hurrah!, an alternate history story by Harry Harrison (best known for The Stainless Steel Rat and Deathworld) in which the British won the Revolutionary War, and a descendent of Washington helps design – guess what – a transatlantic tunnel from the UK to America, very much in a steampunk vein.  Enjoy.

Sammy Hagar

The other night I watched – for the “umpteenth time”, Heavy Metal, the animated motion picture.  Aside from a few misses, the soundtrack is fantastic. In particular, I love the two Don Felder songs, one of which he played last summer at Jones Beach Arena.  And it was from that soundtrack, the title track, that I learned about Sammy Hagar.

Montrose.   This was his start, the singer for guitarist Ronnie Montrose (RIP).  He’s on two albums, Montrose and Paper Money.  Top songs are “Rock Candy” and “I’ve Got The Fire”, the latter which Iron Maiden covered, and the former he still plays on solo tours.

Solo.  Lots of albums by himself: Nine on a Ten Scale, Sammy Hagar, Musical Chairs, Street Machine, Danger Zone, Standing Hampton, Three Lock Box, VOA, I Never Said Goodbye, Marching To Mars, Cosmic Universal Fashion, Sammy Hagar & Friends, and Life Roast, plus 4 with the Waboritas [his solo backing band] Red Voodoo, Ten 13, Not 4 Sale, and Livin’ It Up. 

            We liked VOA, particularly “Dick in the Dirt” and “I Can’t Drive 55”.  Street Machine features “Highway Wonderland”, a tribute to the late 70s Trans Am and its “6.6 liter”.  Three Lock Box and Standing Hampton were the only others we bothered to get. 

I never did get the only Hagar-Schon-Aaronson (the Dust bassist) -Shreve (HSAS) album, Through The Fire, which is half live.  Neal Schon went back to Journey, and Hagar continued his solo career. 

Van Hagar.   Apparently Eddie Van Halen and Sammy Hagar shared the same mechanic, which is how they claim Hagar joined Van Halen.  By that time, I already knew who he was.  He survived for four albums, 5150, OU812, For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge, and Balance, before leaving.  OU812 was one of the first albums I bought on CD, and we saw that tour in summer 1988, followed by the For Unlawful tour in October 1991, at which Alice in Chains (with Layne Staley) opened up.

            I can’t say I prefer this to Roth-era VH, but I do like it.  My favorite song is “Black & Blue”.  It’s funny that even Hagar now refers to this as “Van Hagar”, even though he knows most VH fans don’t mean it as a compliment.  You can call it commercial, but only if you ignore how commercial all those David Lee Roth albums were. 

Chickenfoot.  This was his “supergroup” with Joe Satriani (guitar), Michael Anthony (bass), and Chad Smith (Will Ferrell’s doppleganger, on drums).   The name is a slang term – which I’d never heard before – for the peace symbol.  They have two albums, self-titled and III, the latter being a joke on albums with numbered names.  The material is not bad; I think it sounds more heavy like AC/DC than the commercial crap you might otherwise expect.

The Circle.  I suppose Chad Smith went back to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, so Hagar got Drum Slut Supremo, Jason Bonham, to fill in.  Old friend Michael Anthony – out of his main job ever since Wolfgang Van Halen learned to play bass – is on bass, and some guy I’ve never heard of, who looks like Tom Morello, Vic Johnson, is doing a great EVH imitation.  They have a live album which is actually pretty good.  Because of Bonham, they do a few Zed Leppelin covers, but they also do some Van Hagar and some solo material, like “Heavy Metal” and “I Can’t Drive 55”. 

Red Rocker.  Hagar obviously likes the color red, but clearly has no leftist tendencies.  He also likes fast cars, which hardly distinguishes him from anyone else who likes Ferraris and Trans Ams.  As I mentioned earlier on my blog about Van Halen, Hagar strikes me as a regular guy who would join you for a beer and hang out, whereas David Lee Roth would probably screen you with a David Spade “and you are…” handler and bask in his phony persona.  Nowadays Hagar seems to prefer t-shirts than those goofy jumpsuits he wore in the early 80s.

Mauser Rifles

From the late nineteenth century, all the way up to World War II, the most commonly used military rifles in the world were designed and built by Mauser.

One of the three bolt-action rifles I own is a German World War II issue Mauser 98K.

[Update 1/27/24:]  A few months ago I saw pictures of Vladimir Putin visiting Germany, and the Bundeswehr honor guard were presenting Mauser 98K rifles.  Well, an honor guard isn't a combat unit (at least not in that context) so the rifles are purely ceremonial.  Are they issued live ammunition?  Somehow I doubt it.  In any case it was amusing to see a familiar WWII rifle in a contemporary context.  

In the beginning.   Shortly after the Franco-Prussian War (1871) the Mauser Brothers developed a new rifle.  It seems the Prussian’s Dreyse “needle gun” was much inferior to the French Chassepot design.   Rifles by this point were finally breech-loaded, but it was Mauser which developed a gun firing a fully-enclosed metallic cartridge (the Dreyse and Chassepot used a packet of powder which disintegrated when the round was fired) – although still in black powder.

Early designs (pre-WWI):

1871.  The first design.  11mm black powder metallic cartridge, single shot.  Not a winner.

1871/84.  Second design, but with an 8 round tubular magazine (like lever action rifles have, and the Lebel has – see below). 

1886 Lebel.  Not a Mauser, but still important: The French – damn them! – yet again topped the Germans by making the first rifle which fired a metallic cartridge with smokeless powder.  Smokeless powder, as opposed to black powder, made no smoke, was three times as powerful, and overall much better.  It definitely made black powder weapons obsolete and pushed everyone to upgrade immediately.  The initial Lebel round was 8x51mm round nose, “Balle M”. 

1888 Commission.  The first rifle in 7.92x57mm (aka 8mm Mauser) - with smokeless powder.  This had an internal box magazine instead of a tubular magazine.  This was actually NOT a Mauser rifle, but is of historical significance because it established the caliber.  The Germans mass-produced this design in a panic before the kinks were worked out.    

Belgian Mausers.  These were Mauser’s first response to the Lebel.  Fabrique National (FN), the famous Belgian arms maker, produced the 1889 model Mauser, in 7.65mm and it came into service in 1892.  This was the first design to use a charger (clip which holds 5 rounds together).

Spanish Mausers.  The next design, in 7mm (7x57) Mauser, M1893.  The 5 round box magazine was double-stacked, so the bottom was flush with the bottom of the rifle. 

Turkish Mausers.  The Turks initially ordered 71/84s chambered in their own black powder caliber, then switched over to M1889s in their own smokeless powder caliber, 7.65x53mm (actually the same as the Argentinians used), and by WWI had switched over to 8mm Mauser.    

 

Spanish-American War (1898).  I mentioned this earlier; the US forces were using the Krag-Jorgenson bolt action rifle and were unhappy with its performance relative to the Mausers the Spanish were using.  The 7mm Mauser round had a higher muzzle velocity and flatter trajectory than the .30-40 caliber of the Krag, moreover, the Mauser could be loaded by stripper clips while the Krag had to be loaded round-by-round.  At San Juan Hill, the normally outmatched Spanish (who surrendered without a fight on Puerto Rico) gave the US a bloody nose they would not forget – thanks to the damn Mausers.

            Note that these 1893 model Spanish Mausers also saw service during their civil war from 1936-39, in addition to Kar98Ks supplied by the Germans contemporaneously.  The MG34 made its combat debut in Spain.   

Boer War (1899-1902).  The Boers got their hands on Mauser rifles, similar to the Spanish 1893 models.  They also captured Lee-Enfields from the British. 

China.  The German troops fighting against the Boxer Rebellion in 1900 brought along the Gewehr 98.  During the Warlord Period (1911-1927) many of the Chinese warlords imported Mausers or made them under license in China.  They were so numerous in China that “Mauser” became the word for rifle.  As noted below, Mao equipped many of the “volunteers” in Korea (1950-53), who themselves were leftover Nationalist armies, with leftover Mauser rifles.

**         The Poles, Czechs, Bolivians, Paraguayans, Argentines, and Persians also have a well-known association with Mausers.

WWI:

Gewehr 98.   First used by German troops in the Boxer Rebellion in 1900.  Bolt action with straight bolt handle, breach loading, smokeless powder, 5 round internal box magazine, with a bayonet lug, in 8mm Mauser: It was upgraded to the spitzer design bullet in 1905.  This was the Imperial German Army’s standard weapon in World War I, and as such was Mauser’s first mass-produced and successful design.  Since it was so long, they also developed a carbine version of it, which became popular not merely with the cavalry, but also the storm troops.

1903 Springfield.  While not made by Mauser, it was copied from them.  After the Spanish-American War, the US wanted a decent bolt-action like the Spanish Mauser, and decided to copy the design.  Mauser sued them, so they had to pay the Germans a royalty.  But the Springfield wound up as an excellent weapon and well-liked by the troops.  They repaid the Germans the favor when they went “over there” and shot these rifles at the Huns in 1918. 

Later Designs (WWII)

Kar98K.  In the mid-1930s, as Germany re-armed, the weapons whizzes decided to split the difference between the Gewehr 98 and the carbine and make one model in between the two in length.  This became the standard infantry rifle of the Wehrmacht (and Waffen SS) and remained in production throughout WWII.  Not only Mauser but other manufacturers combined to produce around 14 million of them by 1945.  In addition to the shorter length, the other major change from the earlier Gewehr 98 is that the Kar98K’s bolt handle is turned down.  This is the model I have, built in 1942 by Steyr, possibly using camp workers from Mauthausen.  Oops.

The following three designs were not Mauser, but worth discussing as they’re related to this topic.

Gewehr 43.  This was designed by Walther, not Mauser, but is significant nonetheless.  Remarkably, after all this time (1943), the Germans finally got around to developing a semi-auto rifle – long after the US perfected the M1 Garand and the Soviets had (not quite) perfected the Tokarev SVT-40.  It didn’t work as well as expected, and they didn’t produce nearly enough (400,000) to replace the Kar98K or make a difference on the battlefield.  After the war the Czechs used it as a sniper rifle.  Nowadays they’re hard to find, and expensive when you do:  I saw one at a gun show in Chantilly, and the asking price was $2400.  This model has a 10 round detachable box magazine. 

FG42.   The Fallschirmjager Gewehr (Paratrooper Rifle) was actually a full-auto design in 8mm Mauser, which fired from a 20 round box magazine.  As such it could be considered Germany’s equivalent of the BAR (Browning Automatic Rifle).  However, its light weight meant the recoil was a bitch and it was hard to control.  It was not popular and not many were made.

StG44.  Formerly known as the MP43 (to fool Hitler), and designed by Haenel.  This model fired a shorter version of the 8mm round (7.92x33).   Since it’s a select-fire weapon (semi- or full auto) shooting a shortened rifle round, it’s considered the first assault rifle.  Like the Gewehr 43 it was produced in modest numbers (about 426,000) but unlike that weapon it was highly effective and popular with the troops who received them.  It served to inspire Kalashnikov with his design. 

           

Post-war.   Although Germany lost World War II, VE Day in May 1945 did not stop the Mauser.  All those 14 million Kar98Ks, plus all the variants produced by other countries, remained in circulation.  They were damn good rifles, and the ammo was still available.

Yugoslavia.   Not only did the Yugoslavs inherit tons of Mausers, they even went into business making their own copy, the M48.  Apparently these were still in use as late as the 90’s Balkans wars.  Many of the Kar98Ks sold at gun shows, or by Mitchell’s Mausers, are actually Yugoslav M48s – so check the codes. 

Israel.   How ironic:  the Jewish state used former Nazi weapons to defend itself against the Arab onslaught in 1948.  The Kar98K was the initial standard weapon of the Israeli Army (before they developed the Uzi).

Korea & Vietnam.  The Chinese and Russians had plenty of Mausers left over from WWII, so they shared them with the North Koreans and North Vietnamese.  Back in Paris, one of our friends’ father had served in the US military in Vietnam.  Our friend showed us the Mauser Kar98K his father brought back from that war. 

8mm Mauser.  7.92x57mm, also known in the US as 8mm Mauser, though Mauser itself did not design that particular caliber; it was developed by a commission in 1888 and originally had a round nose, the Patrone 88.  In 1898 the French upgraded their Balle M into a spitzer design, the Balle D, and guess what: by 1905 the Germans also changed to a sharp-pointed “spitzer” design (S-Patrone) and kept with that since.  The US liked that design so much it changed its own .30 caliber round into a spitzer design in 1906, thus “.30-06”.   Chassepot?  Lebel?  Balle D?  Who knew the French could be cutting edge in weaponry?  Bravo for the Chauchat, which changed all that. 

            Although this was for the most common, other calibers were 11mm, 7.62mm, plus some later conversions to .30-06 and .308/7.62mm.  Since the Polish produced their own Mausers, in 8mm Mauser, they actually converted a substantial number of Mosin-Nagants to that caliber as well. 

            In any case, 8mm Mauser is comparable in ballistics to other .30 rounds such as .303 (British), .30-06 (American), 7.62x54R (Russian), and 7.62/.308 (NATO).  It was the caliber used in Germany’s machine guns, the Spandau, the MG08, the MG34 and MG42.  Fortunately it’s still commonly available (I scored some surplus Romanian ammo) but not as cheap as more popular calibers such as .223/5.56mm or 7.62x39 (AK47). 

8mm Kurz.  Although there is only one weapon which fires this round, and I’m not aware of any military which used the StG44 after WWII, apparently Partisan still sells this caliber. 

Accessories.  The Germans made bayonets and rifle grenade launchers for these rifles as well, plus sniper versions.  The WWI sawback bayonet was intended for engineers for cutting, but the Allies didn’t know that: soldiers refused to carry it, fearing nasty treatment if captured with it.  I purchased a standard Kar98K bayonet in Paris in the 80s, long before purchasing my Kar98K in the 90s: but it fit perfectly. 

An excellent source book, to which I referred substantially for this blog entry, is Mauser Military Rifles, by Neil Grant.  

Russell Peters

We finally caught an A-List comedian, at the Borgata Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey:  Russell Peters.  The Canadian of Indian (7-11 Indian, not casino Indian) origin gave a predictably hilarious performance, for about one hour (not the 1.5-2 hour performance we expect from a headlining musical group). 

What can we tell from him?   He was born and grew up in Canada from Indian parents who moved to Canada in the 60s.  They gave him a common name so he wouldn’t be ridiculed.  He’s been back to India several times but seems to prefer Canada (not much of a surprise).  He’s not good at “things that Indians are supposed to be good at”, like computers. 

Much of his routine involves making fun of whoever is in the first two rows, particularly if they’re mixed race or Asian.  We were several rows back, so we were safe in the darkness.  To that extent his routine has some improvisation, except that by now he can probably count on a certain ethnic mix in the audience – we saw lots of Indians, which was not a surprise.  Although he does make fun of Indians – particularly his parents – other targets are Chinese and Koreans.  According to him, Russian sounds like “talking backwards”. 

You’ll never get anywhere accusing an Indian of being cheap, he says.  The Indians simply consider this being smart.  Chinese are #2 in cheapness, with Jews a long distant third.  “I don’t know how they got that reputation,” he says, “as they’re nowhere near the same class of cheapness as Indians and Chinese.”

We’d seen several of his comedy specials on Netflix and YouTube, so we had some idea of what to expect, but if anything he’s gotten even funnier. 

By the way, a few months ago we caught a comedy night at a local club off 8^th Avenue in Manhattan.  This was a hole in the wall with no A-list comedians.  Even so, all of the comedians were funny and none were atrocious.  Whether we’ll be able to recognize them in a few years if and when they finally break it big, who knows.  Aside from a drafty window behind us, the show was definitely enjoyable.  

The Most Important Man of WWII

Hitler?  Stalin?  Churchill? Roosevelt?  Patton? Rommel?  Perhaps none of the above.   Perhaps it was…Richard Sorge.

December 1941.  The Nazi hordes were knocking on the doors of Moscow.   German General Heinz Guderian advised Hitler that if Moscow fell, it would be game over for the USSR.   The Germans assaulted the Soviet capital from the south and west, and almost took it.  Almost.

Stalin was uncertain about bringing troops from the east back west to face the Germans, because he was concerned about Japanese plans in Manchuria (northeast China), which had traditionally been an area of mutual interest and conflict between Russia and Japan, going back to the Russo-Japanese War in 1905. 

A German reporter in Tokyo, Richard Sorge, was ostensibly a German spy working for the Nazis.  Unbeknownst to the Germans, he was actually a double agent reporting back to Moscow.  And what he reported was that the Japanese actually had their hands full to the south and had no immediate plans in Manchuria.   This left Stalin free to transfer 15 infantry divisions, 3 cavalry divisions, 1700 tanks, and 1500 planes – including some very hardcore Siberian troops who were virtually immune to bitterly cold weather – westward to defend Moscow. 

Arriving in the fierce snowstorms of December 1941, these troops slammed into the Germans, smashing them away from Moscow.  The following spring, ignoring Guderian’s advice to resume the attack on Moscow, Hitler sent his forces southeast, towards the Caucasus and a city named Stalingrad.   That battle ended in February 1943 with the surrender of the Sixth Army, and by April 1945 the Red Army was in Berlin.

What might have happened, had Sorge not informed Stalin of Tokyo’s military intentions?  Very possibly, the Germans might have taken Moscow in December 1941.  From there, they could have consolidated their hold on the Russian capital and won the war on the Eastern Front. 

Having done so, Hitler could also transfer troops west to handle any possible Allied invasion of France.   The D-Day invasion might have been called off altogether, or attempted and failed.  It’s difficult to imagine a scenario in which the Germans win the Eastern Front war but still lose against the Allies (although that’s exactly what happened in World War I).   Most alternative history stories featuring a victorious Germany – In the Presence of Mine Enemies (Harry Turtledove) and The Man in the High Castle (Philip K. Dick) – assume that Germany defeated the Russians. 

This being the case, that makes Richard Sorge one of the most important men of World War II.  However, he did not live to see the VE Day in May 1945.  The Kempetai (Japanese secret police) became suspicious of him, arrested him, and tortured him.  Naturally he confessed.  Stalin refused to trade for him (note that Stalin also refused to trade with the Germans when his own son was captured by them), and the Japanese hanged Sorge in November 1944.  In the Japanese movie “Spy Sorge”, he’s played by Iain Glen, best known as Ser Jorah Mormont on HBO’s Game of Thrones.  

The White Album

It seems the Beatles album everyone goes nuts for is Sgt Pepper, but myself, John Lennon, and Charles Manson have a different preference, the self-titled double album released in November 1968, better known as simply the White Album.

My introduction to the album came from the “Blue Album” compilation, The Beatles ’67-70.  But only three tracks, “Back in the USSR”, “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”, and “Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da” made it onto that compilation – barely the tip of the iceberg. 

I did get it on vinyl – the American version, in stereo.  It included 4 portrait photos of the band and a poster, one pic showing John naked on a bed.  See that once and then fold up the poster forever.  Most of the material was written when the band was in India, but recorded in the UK when they returned.  Ringo quit the band briefly, later persuaded to return. 

Back in the USSR.  In March 1983 our school trip took us to the USSR – back when it still was the USSR.  I brought my Walkman (remember those?) and several tapes, including this one.  We all gathered in our room at the Hotel Bratislava in Kiev and listened to this one.  I seem to recall we even sang the chorus to “Rocky Raccoon”. 

Side 1.  “Back in the USSR”, “Dear Prudence”, “Glass Onion”, “Ob-La-Di, “Ob-La-Da”, “Wild Honey Pie”, “The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill”, “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” (with guitar by Eric Clapton), and “Happiness Is A Warm Gun”.   Of these, the opener and “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” are my favorites.  “Happiness” took awhile to grow on me, but I eventually accepted it.

Side 2.  “Martha My Dear”, “I’m So Tired”, “Blackbird”, “Piggies”, “Rocky Raccoon”, “Don’t Pass Me By”, “Why Don’t We Do It In the Road?”, “I Will”, and “Julia”.  RR used to be my favorite at first, but I immediately liked “Don’t Pass Me By” and got hooked on “I’m So Tired” on the Russia trip.

Side 3.  “Birthday”, “Yer Blues”, “Mother Nature’s Son”, “Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except For Me And My Monkey”, “Sexy Sadie”, “Helter Skelter”, and “Long, Long, Long”.   “Helter Skelter” is my favorite, one of the heaviest songs the Beatles ever recorded: thank you, Paul.

In fact, I liked “Helter Skelter” so much, that for a long time I never got around to listening to Side 4 [the same reason I ignored side two of Led Zeppelin IV, after the final track of side one].  I mean, how could they top “Helter Skelter”? 

Side 4.  “Revolution 1” [much slower than the single version of “Revolution”, which I prefer], “Honey Pie”, “Savoy Truffle”, “Cry Baby Cry”, “Revolution #9”, and “Good Night”.  #9 is one of the Beatles’ worst songs, and Yoko Ono’s role in this is probably why.  As annoying and unlistenable as R#9 is, your reward for continuing to the end is the delightful “Good Night”, sung by Ringo.  Nowadays with CD players and iTunes you can simply > to “Good Night”, but with vinyl you’re rarely motivated enough – even by R#9 – to get off your ass and move the needle. 

In addition to the trip of seeing Tony Iommi play guitar with Jethro Tull, and an excellent performance of “A Quick One” by the Who, another advantage of watching the Rolling Stones’ Rock’n’Roll Circus is to see “Dirty Mac” (Lennon, Clapton, Keith Richards on bass, and Mitch Mitchell on drums) play “Yer Blues”, although the usually talented Clapton completely drops the ball on the solo.  The Stones’ own performance is actually pretty good.  Brian Jones was still there, Keith plays a Les Paul Custom, and Mick has yet to degenerate into his androgynous persona of the 1970s.  They’re promoting Beggar’s Banquet, but the material is solid. 

Helter Skelter.  We can’t do this without mentioning Manson, can we?  Vincent Bugliosi, the L.A. prosecutor who put Manson and his family behind bars, studied Manson’s views extensively to develop his theory on the case.  Why did Manson order his followers to murder Tate & her friends, and the LaBianca couple?  Since Manson himself did not murder anyone, Bugliosi had to have some sort of explanation for a conspiracy.

            Manson believed that a race war was inevitable between blacks and whites in California.  The blacks would win, of course, but they needed some encouragement.  Manson hoped that attacking affluent whites, while having his lunatics scrawl “PIGS” and such on the walls, would convince whites that blacks were behind this and stoke up white hatred for blacks.  Instead, everyone just realized the killers were crazed lunatics, regardless of what race they were.  By the way:  Manson’s plan was that after the blacks took over, they would be clueless on how to rule.  The Manson family, having hidden out in Death Valley while the war was going on, would emerge safely, confront the blacks, and put them in their places telling them to “go back and pick cotton”.  Yes, that was what the Beatles supposedly told Manson in “Helter Skelter”. 

Sgt Pepper is an excellent album.  And coming right after Revolver, it blew people’s minds.  Hell, I can even enjoy “Within Without You” (though when it comes to Harrison’s Indian-flavored material, I prefer Revolver’s “For You To”).  The White Album is all over the place.  While it has two of the worst songs (“Wild Honey Pie” and “R#9”) it also has some of their best, including “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” and “Helter Skelter”.  I suppose after being treated to a concept album, this heterogenous mix is a letdown; I beg to differ – leave consistency to concept albums and allow the rest to be enjoyed as they were meant to be, as a collection of songs which may have nothing to do with each other but share excellence.  To me it’s an epic masterpiece, and deserves more recognition and respect relative to Sgt. Pepper.   Enjoy.