Trouble & Eric Wagner

 

Quite recently I had tickets to see stoner bands The Obsessed and The Skull at Café 611 in Frederick, Maryland.  I listened to both Skull albums on the treadmill, and two Obsessed albums as well.  However, when the day arrived, Friday, August 13, I was driving back from Manassas, to the Beltway (495) ostensibly on my way up to Frederick and suddenly decided not to go.  The Friday traffic was unusually thick, the weather was hot, and I had seen both bands already.

 Later I learned that The Skull had to cancel several shows, including the Frederick show, so they did not play that evening.  On Monday, August 23, I learned that Skull singer Eric Wagner had died of COVID, the underlying issue which prompted the cancellation.  I’m hearing noises which suggest that Wagner was anti-vaxx, which indicates he was NOT vaccinated.   He was 62.

 I’ll hold off on commenting on COVID or vaccination.  By now it seems every day the news lets us know of more unvaccinated victims of COVID – and no apparent fatalities from the vaccines themselves.  Anyhow.

 Sometime around the early 1990s, when Manic Frustration came out, I saw the video for “Memory’s Garden” and was hooked immediately.   This was by a Chicago thrash band called Trouble.   Classic lineup:  Eric Wagner (vocals), Bruce Franklin (guitar) (effecting a Uli Roth persona with long brown hair, mustache and bandana), Rick Wartell (guitar) (effecting a K.K. Downing persona, with long blond hair and playing Flying Vs), Ron Holzner (bass), and Jeff Olson (drums).  The band seems to take thrash as a starting point and add in some psychedelic, hippie vibe into the equation, which sets them apart from other thrash bands.  The earlier material had a quasi-Christian vibe to it, but nothing explicit I could ascertain as overtly religious, more like generic spiritual.  I suppose the absence of references to Satan (or Stan) or Hell, etc. might make them “white metal” merely by comparison with their peers, the primary competitor in question being Slayer.  Well, I can honestly say I was always much more into Trouble than Slayer, and not out of any allegiance to Jesus and his Dad. 

 Discography:  Psalm 9 (prior S/T Trouble) (1984), The Skull (1985) (that name sounds familiar); Run To the Light (1987); Trouble (second S/T album) (1990), Manic Frustration (1992) (probably their peak album); Plastic Green Head (1995); Simple Mind Condition (2007); and The Distortion Field (2013). 

Thereupon I collected the albums and managed to see one of the last Trouble concerts with Wagner on vocals (3/22/07) – then a show with Kory Clarke on vocals (9/18/08).  They have a final album, with Kyle Thomas on vocals (The Distortion Field). 

 Wagner quit Trouble in 1996 but decided not to quit music altogether.  He formed another band, Lid, which put out only one album, In The Mushroom (1997), somewhat less heavier, which includes covers of The Monkees (“Randy Scouse Bit”) and Beatles (“Don’t Let Me Down”) (the latter a bonus track on the 11 song version of the album).  This band features Danny Cavanaugh on guitar, and the BOC-esque bass/drum brother (Joe/Albert Bouchard) duo of Tymothy Reeves on bass and Tommy Reeves on drums.  This band made the album but never played live. 

 After recording a song for Dave Grohl’s Probot project, Wagner decided to rejoin Trouble, which resulted in one more album, Simple Mind Condition.  Then he quit again, for good.  After that, he formed not one but TWO bands, The Skull and Blackfinger.

 The Skull have two albums, For Those Which Are Asleep (2014), and The Endless Road Turns Dark (2018).  In addition to Wagner on vocals, are Lothar Keller (guitar), Ron Holzer (bass), and Jeff Olson & Sean Saley (drums at different times).  Blackfinger has two albums, Blackfinger (S/T) (2014) and When Colors Fade Away (2017).  This lineup is Rico Bianchi (guitar), Doug Hakes (guitar), Ben Smith (bass), and Larry Platz (drums).   I’ve seen The Skull twice in concert, but never saw Blackfinger in concert. They had a brief tour in 2014 (local show for me would have been the Sidebar in Baltimore, 8/2/14, had I known who they were), and they played the Maryland Doomfest at Café 611 in Frederick on 8/25/16.  Ironically, one of my two Skull shows was the 2017 Doomfest at the same venue. 

 I’ve noted multiple times about stoner rock bands’ tendency to simply copy Black Sabbath.  Trouble were a bit heavier, but added in more a psychedelic tinge, as do Lid, The Skull, and Blackfinger.  If you like one of these bands, chances are you’ll like the rest.  For that matter, the last Trouble album, without Wagner, is of comparable quality as well.  Sum total you have an excellent array of heavy music which falls short of being dull or repetitive, at least to my ears. 

The Grateful Dead

 

Generally I try to avoid repeating myself.  With regard to this band, I already mentioned them in several previous blogs:  Jam Bands (11/14/08), Augustus “Bear” Owsley Stanley, III (9/8/17), Grateful TOOL (8/30/19), Not As Good <> Not Good (5/7/21) and Bootlegs Revisited (5/21/21).   This would be my first explicit blog on the band itself, so Bear with me if there is some repetition. 

Back in high school in Paris, France (1982-1986) was when I developed my core musical preferences:  heavy metal.  Our first concert was AC/DC, along with Twisted Sister, Deep Purple, DIO, Accept & Dokken, Motley Crue and Metallica.  Iron Maiden & Judas Priest were also on the radar as mandatory listening for any heavy metal fan, though I didn’t get a chance to see them until college.  The famous Judas Priest show at the Capital Centre in Maryland - the parking lot scene filmed in "Heavy Metal Parking Lot", was in May 1986, when I was still in Paris.  We didn't return to the US that summer until July.

Curious about this popular band, the Grateful Dead, I bought Reckoning at the record store.  With a name like this, and consistent skulls & skeletons in the imagery, I’m thinking, “this album will be bonecrushingly heavy!” Here goes….

Err, no.   Not even close.  WTF??? “Dire Wolf” begins an acoustic set, and I didn’t even finish that.  I gave the album to my friend Sean C., only getting the CD eons later.

College was spent at College Park, Maryland, from 1986 to 1990, surrounded by potheads and offered acid and other substances – all politely declined, alcohol being my sole form of mind-altering for those four years.

I managed to get into law school – George Mason – but my legal career got off to a slow start.  Summer after my second year, 1992, was spent putting books back on the shelf at the law library and NOT with a clerking.  Thus my prior blanket rejection of psychedelics was overcome by curiosity.  But now I was no longer in an environment where such things were easily obtained.  Solution, offered by college buddy Ken?  Try the parking lot at a Grateful Dead concert.  Thus RFK Stadium, home of the Washington Redskins, June 1992.  Fortified with two white paper squares putting me off into a multicolored, prismatic, parallel dimension where this music was now tolerable, I fully enjoyed the two sets, capped off with “Baba O’Riley” and “Tomorrow Never Knows”.  And thus began my journey into the Dead….

Who Are These Guys?  The band started out in the San Francisco Area in the mid-60s.  The classic lineup is Jerry Garcia (lead guitar, vocals) (RIP), Bobby Weir (rhythm guitar, vocals), Phil Lesh (bass, vocals), Ron “Pigpen” McKiernan (keyboards, vocals) (RIP), Bill Kreutzman (normal drums), and Mickey Hart (weird drums).   Pigpen died in 1972, replaced by Keith Godchaux, who died in 1980, replaced by Brent Mydland, who died in 1990 – prompting the “cursed keyboardist” concept for the band.  Keith was joined by his wife Donna Godchaux, who sang.  So if you see a woman on stage, it's 1972-79 era Dead.

Style.  The band takes folk and country music as a baseline and adds in various elements.  One is obscure and more offbeat lyrics, thanks to lyricist Robert Hunter, and similar to Blue Oyster Cult.  The subject matters veers off considerably from traditional country music, which tends to be fairly simple and straightforward.  The other deal is jamming.  Songs run into each other, there is extensive improvisation, and even the dreaded interminable drum solo, “Drums >> Space”.  They play a fair amount of covers.    

Acid Tests.   Few bands are as closely associated with lysergic acid diethylamide, LSD, as the Grateful Dead.  In the mid-60s, before LSD was banned, concerts would be organized in warehouses and other venues so the audience could consume from a communal vat of spiked punch, enjoying the trip together with kindred souls and a sympathetic community.  The Dead served as the house band for these acid get-togethers, more fully described in The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, by Tom Wolfe.  In London, Syd Barrett era Pink Floyd served the same function.  Though LSD and marijuana are not, strictly speaking, absolutely necessary to enjoy the band’s music, it certainly helps – and it helped me in the first place (as noted above).  LSD was banned in 1966, shutting down the Acid Tests, though the trend seems to suggest that this might change.  Oregon has already decriminalized ALL drugs; whether legalization will follow remains to be seen.  Anyhow.  It became common knowledge to avoid eating or drinking in their presence, as they were known to dose people at random.  When they appeared on Playboy After Dark, they spiked the punch.

Albums.  The core studio albums are:  Grateful Dead (self-titled), Anthem of the Sun, Aoxomoxoa, Live/Dead, Workingman’s Dead, American Beauty, Skull & Roses, Europe ’72, Bear’s Choice, Wake of the Flood, Mars Hotel, Blues For Allah, Steal Your Face, Terrapin Station, Shakedown Street, Go To Heaven, Reckoning, Dead Set, In The Dark, Dylan & The Dead, Built To Last, Without a Net.  The band also issues various special live shows (Cornell ’77, Closing of Winterland, Rockin’ the Cradle (Egypt ’78)) and there are about 40 Dick’s Picks, and almost 40 Dave’s Picks, which are especially favored bootlegs recorded by the band itself.  These are in addition to, not instead of, the bootlegs which are still out there, but it seems that many bootlegs seem to eventually wind up as official releases. 

Actually, at this point the band releases recordings of the shows themselves on their website, so along with bootlegs of prior shows, I have recordings of the shows I’ve actually been to…

It must have been around 2000 when I started actually listening to albums, starting with Anthem of the Sun and American Beauty, which remain my favorites.  Eventually I wound up getting them all, though I’m more apt to listen to the live releases than the later studio albums. 

Bootlegs.  Probably no band is as associated with bootlegs as the Dead.  Notwithstanding their record company’s insistence otherwise, the band encouraged fans to tape the shows, and many fans brought top quality recording equipment.  The bootlegs circulated widely and vastly expanded the band’s fan base.  As noted above, the band plays different sets each night, meaning that no two shows are the same, and even the same song might be played faster, slower, longer or shorter, etc. 

Spinoffs.  The Jerry Garcia Band, Phil Lesh & Friends, and Ratdog (Bobby Weir) are probably the best known.  Garcia and Weir had a fair amount of solo albums, but the Dead would play their solo songs as well as GD songs – and covers.  My impression is that you were more likely to hear Dead songs at a Ratdog show than a JGB show. 

Tours.  Initially they were playing clubs and concert halls, e.g. the Fillmore (S.F.), the Fillmore East (NYC), Winterland, etc. and worked their way to playing stadiums in the 80’s.  Jerry Garcia had a major health breakdown in 1986, but somehow returned to touring.  Sadly, the band wasn’t making enough money from album sales and needed to tour to support themselves, plus the touring personnel also depended on the income for their survival.  In 1995 Garcia died, which initially put the whole thing down.  However, they resumed again afterwards, first as The Dead, more recently as Dead & Company, with Bobby Weir taking over as de facto leader of the band.  As of today, him, Kreutzman and Hart remain the solo original members touring with them, now that Phil Lesh has gotten too old to tour with them.

Part of the fun of the shows is that unlike most bands, who play the same songs every night, the Dead change their sets – you never know what you’ll hear.  Deep cuts?  Covers?  Your favorite song?  It’s anyone’s guess.  That being the case, following the band around on tour actually makes sense.  Other jam bands, such as Phish and Widespread Panic, do the same.  Pearl Jam and Clutch are the only two non-jam bands I’m aware of which do the same. 

Shakedown Street.  Whenever the band plays a venue with a large parking lot – like a football stadium – a vast tailgating scene will emerge long before band even takes the stage, colloquially referred to as Shakedown Street among the fans.  Food and drinks, tie-dye t-shirts, knockoff t-shirts, and of course the usual array of cannabis, fungus, and lysergic goodies are often available – though RFK 1992 was the only show where I actually scored anything.  Depending on the state, the police might be overt or apparently completely absent.  If you don’t know anyone who sells dope, a Dead show is a good place to look.

Personal Experience.  By now I’ve attended 8 shows, 2 with Jerry Garcia still alive: 

1)         RFK Stadium, DC 6/20/1992; Grateful Dead Concert Setlist at Robert F. Kennedy Memorial Stadium, Washington on June 20, 1992 | setlist.fm

2)         RFK Stadium, DC 6/25/1995 (raining, see second set); Grateful Dead Concert Setlist at Robert F. Kennedy Memorial Stadium, Washington on June 25, 1995 | setlist.fm

3)         Merriweather Post Pavilion, Columbia, MD 6/18/03; The Dead Concert Setlist at Merriweather Post Pavilion, Columbia on June 18, 2003 | setlist.fm

4)         Nissan Pavilion, Bristow, VA 8/15/04; The Dead Concert Setlist at Nissan Pavilion, Bristow on August 15, 2004 | setlist.fm

5)         Verizon Center, DC 4/14/09; The Dead Concert Setlist at Verizon Center, Washington on April 14, 2009 | setlist.fm

6)         Jiffy Lube Live, Bristow, VA 6/22/17;  Dead & Company Concert Setlist at Jiffy Lube Live, Bristow on June 22, 2017 | setlist.fm

7)         Jiffy Lube Live, Bristow, VA 6/26/19; Dead & Company Concert Setlist at Jiffy Lube Live, Bristow on June 26, 2019 | setlist.fm

8)         Jiffy Lube Live, Bristow, VA 8/18/21.  Dead & Company Concert Setlist at Jiffy Lube Live, Bristow on August 18, 2021 | setlist.fm

Oddly, both #1 and #8 began with “Cold Rain & Snow”, but by #8 I was in the position of recognizing most of the songs.  At #1 the only song I could recognize was “Casey Jones”. 

My cousins are big Dead fans, but since they are much older than me, they enjoyed seeing the band in the 70s, well before I could.  Cousin Jimmy saw the show at Cornell ’77, and saw Egypt ’78 the following year with Eddie and Lori-Ann.  I’m guessing the Dead did NOT tour Taiwan. 

Deadheads.   While I would call myself a fan, I don’t consider myself a Deadhead.  I’m not nearly as obsessed by the band, I still like and prefer heavier bands – AC/DC and Black Sabbath remain my favorites – and I have never followed the band on tour.  But if they come by my neck of the woods, Jiffy Lube Live, I’ll make it a point to see the show – and did catch the most recent show.  

Citroën

 

This is the famous French car maker, which is still in business today.  I can’t say I’ve ever driven one, even in Paris, but we certainly saw plenty of them there.  Our family cars when we lived there were a Chrysler-Simca (simple front wheel drive economy car) and a Peugeot 505. 

 Citroën has three very famous models.

 Traction Avant.  1934-57.  Unit body construction (as opposed to body-on-chassis, started with the Model T), four wheel independent suspension, front wheel drive, plus rack & pinion steering.  My 1992 Firebird Formula still had recirculating ball steering – uses a Pitman arm; GM switched to rack & pinion for the fourth generation F bodies (1993-2002).   All these innovations made the TA innovative for its time.  The models and engines were 7A (1.3L I4), 7B (1.5L I4), 7C (1.6L I4), 11CV (1.9L I4) and the 15/6 (2.8L I6).  No V8 models, apparently.

 Deux Chevaux (DCV).  1948-90.  A wagon designed to be pulled by two horses – actually originally designed to be used by farmers and doctors in rural areas.  It was developed before WWII and about to be released when the war broke out – and Boulanger, the company president, refused to allow the Germans to make it during the occupation, thus its eventual release came several years after the war ended.

This had an air-cooled flat two cylinder engine in front, with front wheel drive – the initial model engine put out all of 9 horsepower (!!).  Fairly cheap and easy to produce, 3.8 million made in France alone over the decades; counting all the different variants produced overseas, the total tally runs to 9 million.  Naturally we saw plenty of these in Paris.  Back when I worked at Trak Auto in Falls Church, Virginia, I saw under the hood of one which made it to the US.  Actually it was sold here as well, but the tiny engine made it difficult to compete on our major highways. 

Arguably this is the French equivalent of the Volkswagen Beetle.  The 2CV also featured the first radial tires, made by Michelin.  Like the Model T, there were truck delivery variants, as the platform was extremely versatile.  There was also a Sahara version, with a completely separate rear H2 engine and transaxle, for off-road use.   The factory was at Levallois-Perret, just outside Paris – right next to Neuilly, where we lived from 1979-84.

 DS. 1955-75.   Front engine, front wheel drive, with a revolutionary hydraulic suspension system and a semi-automatic transmission, although the engine itself is simply an inline 4.  Whereas the DCV is somewhat ugly and utilitarian, the DS is far more stylish and elegant.  

            Hydraulics are usually associated with the brakes.  A master cylinder on the driver’s side firewall is connected to the brake pedal.  With power brakes, there is a large vacuum booster, like a huge donut, in between the master cylinder and the firewall, which dramatically assists braking.  A proportioning valve sends fluid through brake lines to a cylinder at each wheel.  Since fluid, unlike air, does not compress, pressing the brake pedal pushes fluid through the lines to the wheels, stopping the car.  The DS used a hydraulic system to level the suspension, giving superb handling while maintaining decent ride quality – usually the two are mutually exclusive, wherein a car that handles well will have a rough suspension, whereas a car with a soft suspension easy on your ass, won’t handle nearly as well.   The CX model, from 1974-1991, could be considered a successor to the SM (1970-74), itself a successor to the DS.  While the CX had another I4, the SM had a more powerful engine, a V6, and was competitive with other European performance cars.  Oddly, the SM was popular in the US, and even won Motor Trend’s Car of the Year Award in 1972.     

  Awhile back I posted a blog about France’s underrated weapons industry:  the 1886 Lebel, the “75”, the RSC (semi-automatic rifle in WWI), and the MAS-36 (I recently found one in .308 at the gun store in Manassas) [Chris' Blog: Vive Le Fusil Français! (formula57l.blogspot.com)].  It looks like France deserves a similar blog post about its equally underrated automotive industry.  

Fortunate Life

 Late again, though the Friday deadline is self-imposed, and the next of my readers, whoever they might be, to complain about this will be the first.  So here it is…

 This weekend I watched a film on DVD, “Foxcatcher”, featuring Steve Carell, Channing Tatum, and Mark Ruffalo.  It takes place in the late 1980s in the US, primarily featuring Olympic wrestlers Mark (Tatum) and David (Ruffalo) Schultz, who enter into a bizarre relationship with John DuPont (Carell), heir to the vast DuPont fortune.

 Through the course of the narrative it becomes apparent that something is seriously wrong with DuPont, and he ends up shooting and killing David Schultz for no apparent reason.   Evidently an insanity plea was insufficient to keep him out of prison, where he died in 2010. 

 So here’s this multi-millionaire, with vast resources at his disposal, who nonetheless has all sorts of issues.  Not mentioned in the movie is his riding accident which resulted in him having to have his testicles removed.  And whatever mental issues he had were evidently not being diagnosed, much less treated.

We’ve also seen wealthy and successful celebrities like Robin Williams and Anthony Bourdain fall victim to depression and kill themselves.  These weren’t people who fell into debt or addiction and their whole lives were collapsing around them:  they were rich and successful; Williams was famous for being perpetually cheerful and positive.  What induces them to do this?  Surely a powerful form of depression which eclipses all else and renders reason and religion, plus the strongest anti-depressants modern medicine can offer, impotent. 

 My own life has taken a deep downturn, for reasons I’d rather not go into until everything has finally been resolved conclusively, and it’s been a task to keep a positive attitude.  Fortunately, whatever other problems I may have, the severe strain of depression to which the aforementioned celebrities succumbed is not one of them.  I’m not under indictment or facing imminent criminal charges (that I know of) and thus in that regard I’m arguably better off than President #45.   Actually, his older brother Fred Jr. couldn’t take the pressure of meeting his father’s standards and expectations and slipped into an oblivion of alcoholism and despair.

 I’m neither married nor divorced and have no children, and at this age, short of becoming John Tyler (President #10) I’m unlikely to have any.  To my knowledge, my sole health issues are high blood pressure and high cholesterol, both of which seem to be under control with medication.  I exercise regularly and notwithstanding a prior blog entry to the contrary, am not Jabba the Hut.  I still have my man-eggs, and somehow managed to come out a bit ahead in the puberty lottery.  This is balanced by a suboptimal social life, but I’ve had enough long term intimate relationships that I can’t complain too much. 

 I’ve been a Beatles fan for ages.  In high school I was able to visit the USSR on a school trip in 1983, singing along to “Back in the USSR” in our hotel room in Kiev with my classmates.  McCartney wrote the song in 1968 without ever having visited the USSR; he meant it as a kind of counterpoint to Chuck Berry and the Beach Boys waxing poetic about the USA.  What’s even stranger is that he didn’t make to Russia until 2003, 13 years after the USSR collapsed.  This is Sir Paul McCartney, of all people.  I’m no one special.  How is this possible?

 I was also watching “The Crown”, the story of Queen Elizabeth II.   While Prince Phillip consistently comes off as a jerk, it’s also apparent that his childhood was difficult.  There was that horrible boot camp school up in Scotland, and his bizarre relationship with his sister, who died in a plane crash before WWII and he had to attend her funeral in Nazi Germany, of all places.  Princess Margaret had her relationship with Peter Townshend – confusingly, NOT the guitarist for The Who – sabotaged by royal concerns.  For all their wealth and power, the Royals are restricted in many ways which ordinary people don’t have to worry about; the tabloids at the checkout counter at Giant and Safeway will tell you that..  Fortunately, mortal risks are considerably attenuated since the UK is a parliamentary democracy, in which “supreme executive authority” indeed derives from a “mandate from the masses”, so the head of state is the Prime Minister, not whoever happens to be king or queen at the moment.  But the four Romanov princesses, the Tsar and Tsarina, and the Tsarevitch met a deadly end in Sverdlovsk in July 1918 at the hands of the Bolsheviks.   That boy had the additional affliction of hemophilia.  So not all is necessarily sunny and rosy for royals of any country.

 I’ve handled umpteen divorces as an attorney, but fortunately my own parents remained happily married until my father’s death in 2004 of a stroke at age 76.  My mother died of COVID last winter at the age of 86.  By this time my brother, sister and I were adults – my father lived to see my brother’s two older children born, making him a grandfather.  My mother lived to see my sister pop out two daughters, raising the tally of grandchildren to 5.  My aunts, uncles, and cousins are all – so far as I can tell – decent people.  And I’m on good terms with my brother and sister.  So family-wise, I lucked out as well.

 So here was simply my daily affirmation… and life goes on.

Baseball

 

I mentioned this back in 2011, in a blog about lots of different sports, for which I devoted a paragraph to baseball.   Attending quite a few games in the recent past, an update may be in order.

 First off, I never attended a baseball game as a kid, back when the Orioles were playing in the prior stadium.  My family weren’t big on sports.  No Redskins games at RFK, nor any Bullets games at the Cap Centre (RIP).  We may have seen one hockey game there, the Caps vs. the Colorado Rockies. 

 A few years ago my buddy Dave and I saw the Orioles play against the Yankees at Yankee Stadium.  We were up high and behind home plate.  I recall we had a good time, but Dave felt the PA was a bit loud – “Abu Gharib level”. 

 More recently my brother has tickets to the Washington Nationals, whose stadium, brand new, is in Southwest DC near the Navy Yard, a few blocks away from the War College.  We saw at least one World Series game vs. the Astros, but the final game was in Houston – which we still watched, with everyone else, at the Nats stadium.   Lately I’ve been attending more of the current season games, and his seats are well situated, upper deck over by third base.  You get a good view of the field and you’re high enough up that the fans are less inclined to verbalize their thoughts and comments, incessantly so, to the players down below. 

 Last weekend we saw the Nats play the Orioles at Camden Yards.  We had been to Hammerjacks twice, then M&T Bank Stadium next door for the Metallica concert in May 2017, but never to Camden Yards.  A good experience, except for a heckler right behind us, a Nats fan, who would NOT SHUT UP.  You know, the kind of guy overly impressed with his own wit and verbosity, the kind of asshole who can’t enjoy the game without ruining the whole experience for everyone else around him.  At a concert this would be the 6’5” jackass who insists on standing front and center, blocking everyone else’s view and insisting that he has the right to stand wherever he wants.  Or the mosher who wants to smash into everyone else instead of watching the band itself. 

 I found the food at Nats Stadium to be aggressively bland, like deliberately bad and overpriced as “the experience”.  The pizza at Camden Yards was good, and it’s hard to screw up a bottle of Pepsi.  I suppose the “CHARGE!” and “MAKE SOME NOISE!” exhortations to the crowd are less objectionable elements of the experience.

 Race!  The Nats have four mascot-type “Presidents” with oversized heads race against each other. They seem to be George Washington (#1), Thomas Jefferson (#3), Abraham Lincoln (#16) and Theodore Roosevelt (#26).  For the Nats I would recommend they use the full range of 45 Presidents racing against each other.  Hell, have Grover Cleveland (#22) race against himself (#24).  Come on, pick some more obscure or oddball presidents for the race.  William Henry Harrison vs. his grandson Benjamin Harrison!  John Adams vs. his son John Quincy Adams!  George H.W. Bush vs. GWB!  Andrew Johnson vs. Lyndon Johnson!  Kennedy vs. Nixon!  Gerald Ford and Joe Biden stumbling after each other!  FDR in a wheel chair!   Have Alec Baldwin play Millard Fillmore – or Trump.  I’m sure that will push his buttons. 

 Impressions.  We all know how the game works, so here are my little tidbits.

1.         Time.  Football, basketball, hockey and soccer are all timed.  Aside from overtime, you know when the game will end.  NFL games last 3 hours, except for the Superb Bowl, which lasts 4, due to that halftime nonsense no one really cares about.  But baseball goes by innings.  It’s not over until the ninth inning – or extra innings if the game is tied.  Again, even when timed games go into overtime, the overtime is timed… know what I’m saying?  We saw the England vs. Italy game go to penalty kicks. 

2.         Ninth inning.  I was intrigued by this.  If the team at bat in the top of the inning finishes the ninth still losing, the game ends there.  If the team at bat in the bottom of the inning scores so much as one run more than the other team in the bottom of the ninth, the game ends there.

 3.        Fouls as strikes.  Here’s what really annoys me.  Fouls count as strikes, but not as the THIRD strike.  This means the batter can literally hit as many foul balls as he likes.   I’d rather speed the game up by allowing a foul ball to cause a strikeout.

4.         Scoring on defense.  Basketball, hockey and soccer don’t really have offense and defense; whichever team happens to have possession is on offense.  In football, a fumble or interception, especially when the team on offense is way back on its own side of the field, can be run in for a touchdown.  With baseball, there’s no way for the team on the field to score.  Its best case scenario is strikeouts or fly balls.  But we still have to wait for all those damn foul balls.

 As an adult, I haven’t played any baseball.  As a kid, we played in the youth leagues in Gaithersburg, which uses a pitching machine which put the ball straight across the plate.  Not sure I recall any batters being hit or walked.   More fun, though, was the Intellivision baseball game.  

Kevin Smith

 

By now I’ve seen all of Kevin Smith’s films, starting with “Clerks”. 

 Clerks (1994).  Shot in black & white, somewhere near Red Bank, New Jersey, which is east central Jersey not far away from Sandy Hook.   Dante (Brian O’Halloran) has to open the quickie mart on a day he’d normally have off, because another employee either quit or called in sick, prompting Dante’s persistent gripe of “I’m even supposed to BE HERE today”.  His buddy Randall (Jeff Anderson) runs the video rental store next door, stocked full of VHS tapes – remember those? – including a fairly wide selection of obscure and exotic porn titles.  Outside Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith himself) sell dope, although, true to his name, Silent Bob says nothing and Jay does enough talking for the two of them.

 Not much happens, aside from Dante’s ex-GF hooking up with a stranger under highly unpleasant circumstances.  

 Mallrats (1995).  Now in color, taking place in a NJ mall (though actually filmed in Minnesota).  Jay & Silent Bob are back, but the main characters are TS (Jeremy London), Brodie (Jason Lee), and Shannon (Ben Affleck).  Shannon Doherty is in here too.  There’s a Truth or Date “The Dating Show” game show at the mall at the end. 

 Chasing Amy (1997).  Clueless guy Holden (Ben Affleck) chases after average looking girl, Alyssa (Joey Lauren Adams) who is lesbian and constantly reminds him of it.  Lots of talk about sex but no nudity.  The whole thing seems to be mainly an excuse for lots of characters to talk about sex.  Jason Lee is here as Banky Edwards.   

 Dogma (1999).  Anti-religious film featuring Alanis Morisette as God.  Jay and Silent Bob are here, but the main characters are two fallen angels, Bartleby (Ben Affleck) and Loki (Matt Damon) (their first pairing in a Kevin Smith film) who seek to upset everyone and get back into Heaven.  George Carlin, Chris Rock, Salma Hayek, and Alan Rickman are here as well, meaning we now have more famous cast members.   I wasn’t offended, more like bored; instead of the movie thinking itself clever for talking about sex nonstop, we have a film thinking itself clever for talking about religion nonstop. 

 Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001).  J&SB found out a movie will be made by Miramax about their comic book characters, Bluntman and Chronic – the comic itself written by Holden (Affleck) and Banky (Jason Lee) - without their knowledge or consent.  They go out to L.A. to stop it, over the course of which all sorts of colorful people, including cameo appearances by various actors, occur, including (among others) Carrie Fisher (playing a nun) and Mark Hamill.  Finally they wrap everything up flying around busting up all the yahoos who insulted them online.  This is one I should watch again.

 Jersey Girl (2004).   No sign of Jay & Silent Bob, but Ben Affleck is here, playing a single father in New Jersey trying to raise his baby daughter after his wife (Jennifer Lopez) dies in childbirth.  Liv Tyler plays the video store clerk who becomes his subsequent romantic interest.  Essentially KS is trying his hand at a chick flick, at which he does a fairly competent job.  But it’s nowhere near as irreverent and messed up as his other films.

 Clerks II (2006).   Now in color, taking place at a fast food place called Mooby’s.  Dante and Randall are back, Randall being just as annoying as ever – even to the point of booking a “donkey show” (whatever horrendous thing you might imagine, it’s in that ballpark).  Rosario Dawson plays the manager and is very nice in that role.  

 I’d say the highlight is an epic debate between Randall supporting the “Star Wars” movies and Elias (Trevor Fehrman), the naïve and probably virginal cashier, along with a sympathetic customer, supporting Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy.  By the way, why would anyone watch “Fellowship”, “Twin Towers”, and “Return” a different number of times??  It’s a full trilogy.  Anyhow.

 Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008).  This time there’s something more, Zack (Seth Rogen) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks) agree to make a porno together, ostensibly to test the common theory – first articulated, to my knowledge, in “When Harry Met Sally” – that men and woman cannot be friends AND share intimacy. 

 Cop Out (2010).  KS tries his hand at “cop buddy movie” with Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan as the duo.  Mexican drug lords are involved, as is a rare baseball card.  Oh, and Seann William Scott (aka “Stifler” from the “American Pie” films) is here as a bank robber.  A fair amount of violence, but I’d say Smith gets credit for checking the box here on this genre.

 Red State (2011).  Smith asks himself, have I made a horror film?  No?  Well, here goes.  Michael Parks plays a charismatic but criminally insane cult leader who lures teenage boys with a “milfy” woman in a trailer who drugs them, the next thing they know they are ritual sacrifices for a bizarre cult.  Not much fun here, the usual BS of horror films being nasty for the sake of being nasty.  Well, he did that job. 

Tusk (2014).  Hold on, I need to make ANOTHER messed up horror film.  And Michael Parks, you were so good as the cult leader, I’ll bring you back as a serial killer.  Nasty Wallace (Justin Long) has a podcast show in L.A. with his buddy (Haley Joel Osment) in which they comment on YouTube videos.  One video featured a guy from Canada accidentally cutting his leg off with a samurai sword.  Wallace goes to Canada to interview the guy, only to find he killed himself.  Not wanting the whole Canadian adventure to be a washout, he takes up an offer posted on the men’s room wall of the local tavern and finds – thanks to two Colleens at the “Eh-to-Zed” convenience store – “the guy”.  The man regales Wallace with strange tales at his remote mansion, only for Wallace to be Qaaluded, Cosby-style, waking up surgically modified into a walrus (!!!).  Unable to speak, Wallace is highly dissatisfied with this turn of events.  Not such a great story.   Johnny Depp is here, almost unrecognizable, as Guy Lapointe, an investigator with Surete Quebec, the French-Canadian province’s version of the FBI. 

 Yoga Hosers (2016).   Those two Colleens – Harley Quinn Smith, daughter of Kevin Smith himself, and Lily Rose Depp, daughter of Johnny Depp himself – are back, this time the focal point of something closer to a comedy than a horror film, and so is Guy Lapointe.  It turns out there were Canadian Nazis during WWII, and they are still around, in the form of a small, intelligent hot dogs with pickelhaubes.  It’s all fairly stupid and messed up, but nowhere near disturbing as “Tusk”.  And everyone says “aboot”.   It’s Kevin Smith’s homage to Canada.

 Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019).   Yes, they’re back again, somewhat older.  Kevin Smith plays himself AND Silent Bob.  The two lost their identities, so to speak, and go to Comic-Con to win them back.  Many of the prior characters are back as well.  Somewhat of a repeat of “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back”, and another one I should revisit.

 Oddly, he has some actors like Ben Affleck and Jason Lee play different characters in the same universe.  Matt Damon comes and goes.   I was more a fan back when I was younger and less excited these days.  Having said that, the only two I feel are true stinkers are “Red State” and “Tusk”. 

Lupin

This is a two season series on Netflix about a “gentleman thief” in Paris, modern day, avenging his father’s death against a wealthy and corrupt Parisian family, the Pellegrinis.  It’s live action, though there was a Japanese animated version awhile ago, using Lupin’s grandson as the main character. 

 In 1995, as a young teenage boy in Paris, Assane Diop befriends a young white boy Benjamin, a blonde girl, Claire, who winds up as his wife and the mother of his son Raoul, and a brunette girl, Juliette, whose father is very rich and powerful.  Assane’s father Babakar, from Senegal, is very intelligent and honest, and works for Juliette’s father Hubert. 

 The Pellegrinis hit a rough patch and Hubert decides to pull a fast one.  They own an incredibly expensive necklace, laden with diamonds, supposedly worn by Napoleon’s wife, Josephine.  Hubert arranges the necklace to be “stolen”, pockets the insurance money, and frames Assane’s father for the crime.  Juliette persuades Babakar to plead guilty, assuring him that his prison sentence will be light, but since the necklace was “never recovered”, Babakar is sent to prison for life.  In prison, he supposedly kills himself, but leaves clues to Assane to suggest he was innocent, and thus his subsequent “suicide” was really murder.  In all of this, a corrupt Parisian cop, Dumont, assists Hubert in making certain the police do not ask any inconvenient questions.    

 As an adult, Assane embarks on a campaign to avenge his father, to reveal the truth, and to see that Hubert receives the justice he deserves.  To do so, he draws inspiration from the Lupin stories, about a fanciful “gentleman thief”, Arsene Lupin (Arsène Lupin - Wikipedia).  Although Lupin himself is fictional, the stories themselves do exist.  Babakar gave him the stories as a young boy.

 Naturally, he catches the attention of the cops, and Dumont attempts to make sure his subordinates chase down Assane and leave Hubert alone.  But one cop, Guedira, ascertains the Lupin angle and starts reading the books as a way of predicting Assane’s next move.  Despite Dumont’s efforts, he begins to unravel the truth and sympathize with Assane. 

While Hubert has no qualms about having various thugs and criminals kill whoever gets in his way – including Babakar – Assane is notable for sharing Lupin’s refusal to kill anyone.  Moreover, often times Assane will eventually return an item he stole, in a sense simply borrowing it.   His friend Benjamin, now an art dealer and fence, is his closest confederate.  For her part, Claire loves Assane but resents his unconventional lifestyle – he comes and goes apparently at random, completely unreliable.

Except for an episode in Le Havre, the port city at the mouth of the Seine on the English Channel, the series takes place in Paris.  The Louvre starts out as the focal point, later we see the Catacombs and Chatelet.  I watched it in French with English subtitles.  For simple stuff and short sentences, I was ahead of the subtitles, but longer, more complex dialogue quickly spoken left me reliant on the subtitles.