Colorado

This will be considerably shorter than my New Jersey blog, as compared to New Jersey (which I’ve been to several times, and several different parts of it) my experience in Colorado was one weekend in Boulder.  As limited as that is, I’ll add in some Colorado-themed issues which deserve note but not their own blogs.

 I visited my best friend from high school, Phil, who lives in Boulder with his female life-companion and two pre-adults.  I was surprised to learn that half of Colorado is mile-high plains, as flat as the eye can see, and only the other half is mountains.  Boulder, Denver, and Colorado Springs lie along the Front Range of the Rockies.

 Boulder itself is trendy, liberal, and New Age.  It’s about 30 minutes northwest of Denver.  It’s the home of the University of Colorado.  Mork & Mindy, the TV show from 1978-84, with Robin Williams and Pam Dawber, took place there.  There’s even a one-off Mexican place called Illegal Pete’s, that has steak soft tacos ALMOST as good as Chipotle (which they do have in Boulder and Denver). 

 We also visited the Rocky Mountain National Park, which features spectacular views of yet more mountains, and some trails you can walk around without being mauled by bears or elks.  Nearby is the Stanley Hotel, built by the Stanley Steamer man (ask Jay Leno, he has one) and the featured location of “The Shining” (Jack Nicholson film way back). 

 Later on we visited Golden, Colorado (just south of Denver), home of Coors, the brewery (largest single-site brewery in the US, if not the world).  They have a free tour, which is very informative – and even includes 4 free beers for those of us 21 and over.   Recall “Smokey and the Bandit”: $80,000 to transport 400 cases of Coors east of Texarkana to Georgia in 18 hours or less.  Adolph Coors was born in 1847, and started the brewery in 1873, so if anything the Austrian dictator was named after him, not the other way around.  The most famous Austrian since him would have to be the Governator of California…get in line, Bruno.

 South Park.  I like this show, but not enough to devote an entire blog to it.  The 4 kids are Stan (blue knit cap), Kyle (green Russian hat), Cartman (fat kid in knit cap), and Kenny (mumbling kid in orange parka).  Stan and Kyle are relatively normal (Kyle is Jewish) while Cartman is obnoxious and unpleasant; Kenny tends to be killed in each episode (“those bastards, they killed Kenny!”).  Other important characters are Chef (voice of Isaac Hayes), Mr. Garrison (gay school teacher with puppet friend Mr. Hat), the blue-haired female Mayor, Officer Barbrady, Ned & Jimbo (Vietnam veteran hunters), Jesus (yes, Himself), Mr. Hankey (a talking piece of poo who comes out at Christmas) and Mr. Mackey, the school counselor (“umm’kay?”).  The theme song is done by Primus (Les Claypool) – who often play it in concert.  Count on the show to tackle sensitive and controversial issues head-on in a very direct and “we don’t care who we offend” manner.  Oddly, I saw the South Park movie (“Bigger, Longer, Uncut”) ages ago with Phil, who predicted (incorrectly) that his unfamiliarity with the show would prevent him from enjoying it: far from it, he was practically falling out of his seat laughing.  I’m really not a fan of “offend people for the sake of offending people”, but don’t mind if there’s some decent message hidden inside for us to find and enjoy – and understand.  Others might not enjoy it, but to me South Park definitely qualifies. 

 Mork & Mindy.  This was Robin Williams’ big break.  He was so spectacular in adlibbing that they let him write much of his own material and adlib much of it.  “Mork” was an alien from Ork, who reported to his superior “Orson” every night.  His assignment on Earth was to investigate the planet and report back.  Mindy was the delicious and attractive Pam Dawber, with whom he lived first as a roommate, and eventually they got married.  I found the other characters (Jonathan Winter, Gina Hecht, etc.) to be nowhere close to as entertaining as Mork and Mindy themselves. 

 Denver Broncos.  I’ve never been a Broncos fan.  I recall watching the Redskins maul the Broncos in the 1988 Super Bowl (42-10), and recall the Cowboys beat them in 1978, the first Super Bowl I remember.  Finally in 1997 they changed their uniforms to the current style, and beat the Packers – John Elway finally got his Super Bowl Ring.  Asked, before the game, what he thought of the Packers’ boasts, Bronco Bill Romanowski simply replied, “we’ll see what happens on the field.”  Sure enough, they beat the Packers that year (w/Brett Favre) and the Falcons the year after…then Elway retired.

 In Phoenix, the city appeared to be a broad plain, amidst a desert, with mountains surrounding it on all sides, but always far, far away in the distance.  In Las Vegas, the city appeared to be in on a desert plain, with mountains lined up on along the West.  In Boulder, the urban areas appeared to be on desolate wintry plains (in December) with a line of huge mountains along the West.  

 There are many other things to do in Colorado, not the least of which is catch a Broncos game, or ski, which will have to wait until my next visit.  I’m long overdue to visit my sister in Phoenix, Arizona, so stay tuned. For now, my verdict on Colorado is: MOUNTAINS and BEER.