The Formula - AGAIN

 Maybe a broken record, here.  I had a dream the other day that I got the Formula back (1992 Pontiac Firebird Formula 350) and was driving it down the road.  It was VERY fast – as I remember it being – but would need tags and insurance, and a place to park it.  As my 2009 Dodge Charger R/T was totaled in September, I’ve been driving my mom’s Chevy HHR around, and it clearly has far less than 370 HP.  Since I haven’t paid off the Charger, I won’t be buying another one for a few months. 

Blogs:  “The Formula” (11/24/2006); The Beast is Back in Black (5/24/2007); Hello Neon, Bye Bye Formula (1/31/2008); The Beast is Back….Again (3/17/2011); Welcome Back to 1995 (7/31/2015) and More Fire Birdy Stuff (8/24/2018).  Suffice to say I’ve talked about it.  I’ve also mentioned the 1976 Esprit, which I still have; the 1980 Trans Am I had in 2000 and which never ran – even before pulling its anemic 150 HP 301 V8; the 1968 Pontiac Firebird 400 my buddy Phil and I tried buying in Flint, Michigan in fall 1995; and the Pontiac 400 V8 I bought in 1998.  At least this car I had for 17 years.

Both the Chevrolet Camaro and the Pontiac Firebird were meant to compete with the Ford Mustang, a relatively inexpensive 4 seater, 2 door, front-engine rear-wheel drive car of fairly light weight.  The base models started with inline sixes, then V6s, and in some years, 4 cylinder engines (Fox body - 1979-93 - Mustangs and 1982-86 Camaros and Firebirds).  The performance models had a V8 of varying power depending on the years, with the 20th Anniversary Trans Am (1989) having a special turbocharged Buick V6, the same engine as the Grand National and GNX.  The top performance model of the Camaro started out as the SS (Super Sport) and then switched to the Z/28 and IROC.  For the Firebird, that was the Trans Am and the Formula.  Generally the Formula was available with the same engines, transmissions and suspension as the Trans Am but was a bit more subtle.  Even the '73-74 Super Duty Formulas got the Trans Am's shaker hood but not its "Screaming Chicken" hood bird.  I generally prefer the Formula to the Trans Am.  

Sometime in 1992 I acquired a Pontiac catalog which listed all its 1992 vehicles, including the Firebird.  From that I learned that the Formula – much slimmer than the Trans Am, lacking the ground effects package – was available with the 5.7L V8, 240 HP.  But without a decent job, I wouldn’t be buying one any time soon.

November 1992.   My third year in law school, I went from putting books back on the shelf in the law library for $5.50 an hour, 10 hours a week, to working for a real lawyer (Jerry), on real cases, making $10 an hour for 20 hours a week.  This meant I could finally qualify for a new car loan.  I couldn’t afford a Formula 350 ($19,000) but in any case by then, those were all gone.  But I could afford a new Firebird, base, with the 5.0L (TBI) engine.  Black on black, loaded with options (unfortunately including ground effects) it was my first new car.  The 5.0L V8 wasn’t a rocket, but the car could certainly get out of its own way.  Plus it had T-tops.

June 1995.  I was back to earning a full salary working for Jerry, and could qualify for a loan again,  I purchased a used 1992 Firebird Formula 350.  This was in aquamarine, black interior, but with almost no options:  no t-tops (which I didn’t miss), no power windows, no power door locks, but at least it had A/C.  Moreover, the original owner had upgraded with the SLP Package, which added 50 HP.  That included a cool air intake, larger throttle body with air foil, siamesed intake runners, a performance PROM chip and cooler thermostat, 1 5/8” headers, 3” exhaust running from the dual catalytic converters to the muffler, and a freer flowing muffler with both tailpipes going out the same side (driver’s side).

For my part, I had a Jacob’s Ignition system installed; 2800 stall converter with shift kit in the 700-R4 automatic transmission, 3.73 gears in the rear end (10 bolt), and sturdier trailing arms and panhard rod.  I also had installed the TPIS Big Mouth (lower) intake manifold.  I still have the original as well.  

September 1997 to January 1998.  Jerry and I had a client down in Stafford, Tim, who ran a body shop.  Tim wanted more custody with his son, so Jerry took his case in exchange for doing a color change from aquamarine to black.  The car was supposed to be done by late October, but ended up not being done until January 31, 1998.   

12/4/07.   In fall of 2007 I was working for a law firm buried in the woods near Fairfax.  Driving home in the cold, the car spun 180 going around a curve and plunged backwards into the woods.  Somehow I managed to get Tim to fix it up again, though it wasn’t back on the road again in my possession until May 23, 2008. I never did put the decals back on (FORMULA on the doors and rear bumper, “5.7 LITER F.I.” on the hood bulges, Firebirds on the sail panels).

Through much of 2008-2009 the Formula had engine issues which prevented it from passing emissions, until a hot rod shop at Fairfax Circle managed to figure out what was wrong with it and get it running property again. 

12/8/2012.   I was working at the office on Saturday and my Formula had an engine fire.  The car wound up in a towing lot in Stafford, the engine wound up in a machine shop in Fairfax.  Efforts to fix the Formula without an engine went nowhere and I eventually simply signed off on the title to Billy, who owned the towing lot.  The engine was rebuilt by a machine shop, but I ran out of money halfway through the rebuild.  In February 2013 I purchased a brand new Honda Civic.  On January 22, 2015, I traded the Civic in for a 2009 Dodge Charger R/T.  

On September 1, 2020 I had an accident which resulted in the Charger being totaled – less than a year left on the loan.  As of now I’m driving my Mom’s Chevy HHR, as noted above.  I stopped by the machine shop and made another payment on the Chevy V8.  

Sadly, circa 2020, Firebirds of all years are very rare.  When I took classes at NOVA Alexandria in 1995-98, I spoke with a fellow Formula 350 owner who had been living in L.A. at the time he bought his own ’89 model.  He actually saw it built at the Van Nuys factory which was making F-bodies back then (up to 1992).  He said they were making 3-4 Camaros for every Firebird.   By now all third generation Firebirds (1982-92) are at least 28 years old, and they only made Formulas from 1987-1992 of those years; the mid-model from 1982-86 was the S/E, somewhat like the 1970-81 Esprit.  Oddly, on the rare occasion I find someone selling an 1988-92 Formula in decent condition, they’re asking at least $10,000 for it. 

Dragstrip.  I took the car to Maryland International Raceway (MIR) once, on a hot summer day when no one else was at the track.  The best I could do, after dropping the tire pressure in the rear tires, was mid-14s in the quarter mile.  Then I learned about 75/80, up near Frederick, and took it up there a few times.  By that time I had it down to 14.28, around 99 mph.  The original owner, shortly after installing the SLP package, had it doing high 13 second quarter mile times.  Though I never took the Charger, rated at 370 HP, there, according to the specs, those are the same times a stock Charger R/T will do.  Go figure.