The Formula - AGAIN

 Maybe a broken record, here.  I had a dream the other day that I got the Formula back (1992 Pontiac Firebird Formula 350) and was driving it down the road.  It was VERY fast – as I remember it being – but would need tags and insurance, and a place to park it.  As my 2009 Dodge Charger R/T was totaled in September, I’ve been driving my mom’s Chevy HHR around, and it clearly has far less than 370 HP.  Since I haven’t paid off the Charger, I won’t be buying another one for a few months. 

Blogs:  “The Formula” (11/24/2006); The Beast is Back in Black (5/24/2007); Hello Neon, Bye Bye Formula (1/31/2008); The Beast is Back….Again (3/17/2011); Welcome Back to 1995 (7/31/2015) and More Fire Birdy Stuff (8/24/2018).  Suffice to say I’ve talked about it.  I’ve also mentioned the 1976 Esprit, which I still have; the 1980 Trans Am I had in 2000 and which never ran – even before pulling its anemic 150 HP 301 V8; the 1968 Pontiac Firebird 400 my buddy Phil and I tried buying in Flint, Michigan in fall 1995; and the Pontiac 400 V8 I bought in 1998.  At least this car I had for 17 years.

Both the Chevrolet Camaro and the Pontiac Firebird were meant to compete with the Ford Mustang, a relatively inexpensive 4 seater, 2 door, front-engine rear-wheel drive car of fairly light weight.  The base models started with inline sixes, then V6s, and in some years, 4 cylinder engines (Fox body - 1979-93 - Mustangs and 1982-86 Camaros and Firebirds).  The performance models had a V8 of varying power depending on the years, with the 20th Anniversary Trans Am (1989) having a special turbocharged Buick V6, the same engine as the Grand National and GNX.  The top performance model of the Camaro started out as the SS (Super Sport) and then switched to the Z/28 and IROC.  For the Firebird, that was the Trans Am and the Formula.  Generally the Formula was available with the same engines, transmissions and suspension as the Trans Am but was a bit more subtle.  Even the '73-74 Super Duty Formulas got the Trans Am's shaker hood but not its "Screaming Chicken" hood bird.  I generally prefer the Formula to the Trans Am.  

Sometime in 1992 I acquired a Pontiac catalog which listed all its 1992 vehicles, including the Firebird.  From that I learned that the Formula – much slimmer than the Trans Am, lacking the ground effects package – was available with the 5.7L V8, 240 HP.  But without a decent job, I wouldn’t be buying one any time soon.

November 1992.   My third year in law school, I went from putting books back on the shelf in the law library for $5.50 an hour, 10 hours a week, to working for a real lawyer (Jerry), on real cases, making $10 an hour for 20 hours a week.  This meant I could finally qualify for a new car loan.  I couldn’t afford a Formula 350 ($19,000) but in any case by then, those were all gone.  But I could afford a new Firebird, base, with the 5.0L (TBI) engine.  Black on black, loaded with options (unfortunately including ground effects) it was my first new car.  The 5.0L V8 wasn’t a rocket, but the car could certainly get out of its own way.  Plus it had T-tops.

June 1995.  I was back to earning a full salary working for Jerry, and could qualify for a loan again,  I purchased a used 1992 Firebird Formula 350.  This was in aquamarine, black interior, but with almost no options:  no t-tops (which I didn’t miss), no power windows, no power door locks, but at least it had A/C.  Moreover, the original owner had upgraded with the SLP Package, which added 50 HP.  That included a cool air intake, larger throttle body with air foil, siamesed intake runners, a performance PROM chip and cooler thermostat, 1 5/8” headers, 3” exhaust running from the dual catalytic converters to the muffler, and a freer flowing muffler with both tailpipes going out the same side (driver’s side).

For my part, I had a Jacob’s Ignition system installed; 2800 stall converter with shift kit in the 700-R4 automatic transmission, 3.73 gears in the rear end (10 bolt), and sturdier trailing arms and panhard rod.  I also had installed the TPIS Big Mouth (lower) intake manifold.  I still have the original as well.  

September 1997 to January 1998.  Jerry and I had a client down in Stafford, Tim, who ran a body shop.  Tim wanted more custody with his son, so Jerry took his case in exchange for doing a color change from aquamarine to black.  The car was supposed to be done by late October, but ended up not being done until January 31, 1998.   

12/4/07.   In fall of 2007 I was working for a law firm buried in the woods near Fairfax.  Driving home in the cold, the car spun 180 going around a curve and plunged backwards into the woods.  Somehow I managed to get Tim to fix it up again, though it wasn’t back on the road again in my possession until May 23, 2008. I never did put the decals back on (FORMULA on the doors and rear bumper, “5.7 LITER F.I.” on the hood bulges, Firebirds on the sail panels).

Through much of 2008-2009 the Formula had engine issues which prevented it from passing emissions, until a hot rod shop at Fairfax Circle managed to figure out what was wrong with it and get it running property again. 

12/8/2012.   I was working at the office on Saturday and my Formula had an engine fire.  The car wound up in a towing lot in Stafford, the engine wound up in a machine shop in Fairfax.  Efforts to fix the Formula without an engine went nowhere and I eventually simply signed off on the title to Billy, who owned the towing lot.  The engine was rebuilt by a machine shop, but I ran out of money halfway through the rebuild.  In February 2013 I purchased a brand new Honda Civic.  On January 22, 2015, I traded the Civic in for a 2009 Dodge Charger R/T.  

On September 1, 2020 I had an accident which resulted in the Charger being totaled – less than a year left on the loan.  As of now I’m driving my Mom’s Chevy HHR, as noted above.  I stopped by the machine shop and made another payment on the Chevy V8.  

Sadly, circa 2020, Firebirds of all years are very rare.  When I took classes at NOVA Alexandria in 1995-98, I spoke with a fellow Formula 350 owner who had been living in L.A. at the time he bought his own ’89 model.  He actually saw it built at the Van Nuys factory which was making F-bodies back then (up to 1992).  He said they were making 3-4 Camaros for every Firebird.   By now all third generation Firebirds (1982-92) are at least 28 years old, and they only made Formulas from 1987-1992 of those years; the mid-model from 1982-86 was the S/E, somewhat like the 1970-81 Esprit.  Oddly, on the rare occasion I find someone selling an 1988-92 Formula in decent condition, they’re asking at least $10,000 for it. 

Dragstrip.  I took the car to Maryland International Raceway (MIR) once, on a hot summer day when no one else was at the track.  The best I could do, after dropping the tire pressure in the rear tires, was mid-14s in the quarter mile.  Then I learned about 75/80, up near Frederick, and took it up there a few times.  By that time I had it down to 14.28, around 99 mph.  The original owner, shortly after installing the SLP package, had it doing high 13 second quarter mile times.  Though I never took the Charger, rated at 370 HP, there, according to the specs, those are the same times a stock Charger R/T will do.  Go figure.

More Firey Birdy Stuff

This weekend, I went down to Stafford to try to get my Firebird Esprit up and running, and drive it back up to Northern Virginia.  The brakes were not cooperative and the engine, even with a new battery, resisted starting and running.  Leaving it in a field outside for months at a time is apparently not calculated to make a 70s muscle car start up easily.  I also found all the parts I had bought earlier and which were never installed as the floor pan job never quite got done by the guy supposed to do it – who is now resting in peace (that demise being very recent and not the reason for the delay). 

The 70s.  I had vague awareness of “Smokey et le Bandit” but did not actually see the movie when it came out.  No one I knew had a performance car, let alone a Trans Am Special Edition, the black & gold model Burt Reynolds drove.   Sadly, having been born in 1969 I was too young at the time to appreciate all those cars.  Now I take special delight in watching TV and movies from that time and observing those cars in the background, someone’s daily driver which happened to be captured on film.

Summer of 1988.   Although I received my driver’s license in 1986, due to college parking logistics I wasn’t able to actually purchase a car until 1988.   My quest for a Trans Am was cut short when my parents bought me a car – a 1984 Chevy Cavalier.   4 doors, great gas mileage, and relatively reliable.  That lasted until summer 1991 when my sister totaled it driving through the neighborhood.  In her defense, she had only started to learn to drive at that time.

Fall of 1992.  My first new car: 1992 Pontiac Firebird. I finally got a job earning enough to buy a new car.  I wanted a Formula with the 5.7L V8 (350) but they were long sold out – and out of my price range anyway.   But I got this one, brand new, from King Pontiac in Gaithersburg, Maryland.  Black on black, t-tops, power windows and door locks, and a 5.0L V8 which got the car running.  My only modifications were a performance chip.  I sold this to my boss after buying the Formula.

Spring 1994.   Car training.  NOVA & ASE.  Upon returning from Norfolk in late February after taking the Virginia Bar (again) I got a nasty surprise:  LAID OFF.  Now I had a surplus of free time and a conscientious desire to spend it wisely apart from the obvious job search.  Not having any prior knowledge of auto mechanics and no suitably skilled friends or relatives, I taught myself using a high school textbook followed by adult education courses, finally AUT courses at NOVA Alexandria.  I learned enough to pass the ASE exams on engine repair, automatic transmissions, and manual transmissions.   This also allowed me to do minor work on my own cars, such as oil changes, ATF changes, differential fluid changes, and brake work.   For anything more complex, I brought to mechanics, either local shops or the dealer.  By this point I could talk to the mechanic and understand what he was talking about.  So I’d say this was well worth the effort to learn, even if I never worked as a mechanic.  Hell, I even ordered the factory service manual for the ’92 base Firebird, which also applied to the Formula, same model year.

June 1995.   1992 Pontiac Firebird Formula “350”.  After a three year quest I finally had this.  Not black (yet), but blue-green metallic with a black interior.   A rare “Formula 350” without power door locks, power windows, etc. – a stripped down model for which the only option was the 350.  However, the first owner did put the SLP package on it: larger throttle body with an airfoil, Siamesed intake runners with a cool air kit, 1 5/8” headers, 3” exhaust, performance chip and cooler thermostat, for a total boost of 50 HP from 240 to 290.  Later I added a 2800 stall converter, shift kit, and 3.73 gears in the rear. 

305 vs. 350.  The 5.0L V8 came up in the late 70s to save gas.  It has a smaller bore than the 350 (3.74 vs. 4.0) but the same stroke (3.48), but the smaller bore severely compromises the breathing and makes the engine highly resistant to performance mods.  The earlier 327, with a 4 inch bore and 3.25 inch stroke, breathes easier and revs higher than the 350, so that engine does respond to modifications.  In any case, the 350 remains the top small block Chevy V8 and should be considered the prime choice for anyone building a performance V8 made by Chevrolet.  That engine has the widest variety of support even today.  My Formula was MUCH faster than the base Firebird.  The original owner had it doing high 13s at the quarter mile dragstrip, while the best I could do – before the trans mods – was low 14s, with trap speeds of 95-98 mph.  I even came third place in a drag race when my practice runs spilled over into the actual eliminations and my opponents redlighted.  That track, 75/80 south of Frederick, Maryland, has since closed down. 

Late 1995:  1968 Pontiac Firebird 400.  I had extra money, enough to buy one of these: a hard top.  Nowadays the ‘69 Camaro gets most of the attention, directly inspiring the current version of the Camaro.   The ‘67-69 models started out with OHC 6, including the Sprint model with a QuadraJet; had a mid-range model with a 326 or 350 cubic inch V8 (either two barrel and single exhaust, or the 4bbl & dual exhaust HO model) going up to the 400 model with its GTO engine and faux hood scoops.  Of course the 400 was my preference.  I preferred the hard top, but the convertible was also intriguing.  I also preferred the automatic version (3 speed TH400) over the manual (4 speed).  

My buddy Phil and I took the bus from DC to Detroit, only to find – guess what? - the car wasn’t drivable and no flatbed trucks available to bring it back.   The carb wasn’t working properly and the ignition switch came through the left hole where the stereo knob would be if the stereo was still in it.  We had to rent a car at the airport to get to his place, and then simply drove it back to DC.  A shame, because it was in good shape body-wise and was a real 400 hardtop (white, green interior, automatic).   

Other cars I looked at: a 1974 Trans Am SD455 in DC, red with white interior, in extremely rough shape; a black-on-black ‘72 Firebird Formula;  a gun metal gray ‘67 Firebird 400 hardtop with no proper tags, so we had to just tool around the neighborhood; a white ‘68 400 convertible in better shape, out near Chantilly, I drove from the guy’s house to 28/50 with the top up, then back with the top down, my dad following behind to watch; and a pair of GTOs, ‘68/69, one in particularly rough shape.    

Generally these cars had the skinny steering wheel, slablike “bucket seats”, spongy brakes (some four wheel drum with no power booster); AM radio; wallowing handling; varying amounts of rust and decay.  

I also test drove a few Formula 350s (87-92) and lost out on a ‘89 350 black on black with T-tops (a rarity with the 350) which I missed out on when the guy sold it to someone else an hour before I called him back.  

1998.  Color change.   We had a client, Tim, down in Stafford, who took the blue-green Formula in September 1997 and converted it to black by January 1998.  Oddly, black paint is the least forgiving of flaws and the most difficult color to switch to – including the door jambs and under the hatch.  I never did end up putting the decals back on. 

1999.  Pontiac 400 V8.  Some time after that I acquired this engine, all by itself, from a shop which had taken it out of a 70s Trans Am.  Apparently something was wrong with it.  I bought it not to put into a car but simply to take it apart for my own amusement.

First the carburetor (QuadraJet), which I also disassembled, cleaned, and rebuilt.  Then the intake manifold, valve covers, water pump, timing chain cover, timing chain, and distributor.  Then the cylinder heads themselves, which had probably never been off, taking a breaker bar to get all 10 bolts loose from each.  I dissembled the heads and cleaned the valves, putting them apart by cylinder, all 16 (intake & exhaust x 8).  Flipping it upside down on the stand, and taking off the oil pan, I took out the pistons, and finally the crankshaft itself.  Sure enough, the crank and block were unusable and we threw them away.  Everything else usable was cleaned, painted, and included with the 1980 Trans Am sale mentioned below.

2000.  1980 Trans Am SE.  In May 2000 my comrade Tim located this car at a towing auction.  It was black on tan with a normally aspirated (non-turbo) 301 V8.  We could never get it running.  His buddy had a 70’s Pontiac full-size with a running Pontiac 455, but sold that car before I could buy it – but not before he and I had already pulled the 301 from the Trans Am.  D’oh!  When that happened I decided to, and did, sell the ’80 TA. 

2012.  That December the Formula went up in flames, becoming literally a Firebird.  The car was totaled.  I held on to it but eventually had to conclude it was a lost cause.  The engine was pulled and rebuilt while I still held hope of resurrecting the car, so now I’m trying to sell that on eBay.  I was forced to replace the Formula with a brand new Honda Civic, which I later traded in, back in 2015, for the current 2009 Dodge Charger R/T.

 

2013-Present. 1976 Firebird Esprit.  I mentioned this in an earlier blog, and above. We’ll see what happens to it in the future – if anything.