"Super" Heroes

Recently I caught Woody Harrelson’s “superhero” film, “Defendor”.  Add that to the other three films featuring a “superhero” who has NO super powers.

First:  Batman and Iron Man.  Unlike Superman, Spiderman, Wonder Woman, the Fantastic 4, the Avengers, etc., these two have no intrinsic super powers.  Really, their “super powers” are “so f**king rich they can buy Batmobiles and flying armor”.  What’s funny is that we’ve yet to see a real billionaire, like Bill Gates or Warren Buffett, do anything like this.  Jeff Bezos, where is your Bezomobile?  Anyhow.  So what does a would-be superhero without any huge amount of money – a regular guy – do?

Defendor (2009).  Woody Harrelson becomes Defendor (spelled with an “o”).  He puts on a black costume with a duct taped D and paints a black mask over his face – not even a cloth mask he can take off.  Kat Dennings, the hotter of the Two Broke Girls, plays a hooker who befriends him.   Defendor is a bit “not there” and isn’t particularly good at fighting.  He believes “Captain Industry” is the bad guy who needs to be taken down.  There is a corrupt cop, Dooney (Elias Koteas), and his sometime boss (Michael Kelly, who we recognize from “House of Cards”) helps him out.  Overall I found it mostly frustrating and “when will this be over”?  Dennings is eye candy but Harrelson getting his ass kicked in Toronto doesn’t really make for a compelling story.

Watch it once and then go back to a regular Marvel or DC superhero movie.

Super (2010).  Rainn Wilson becomes the Crimson Bolt.  He’s trying to save his wife (Liv Tyler) from the clutches of an evil drug dealer (Kevin Bacon – in another film) while assisted by Libby (Ellen Page) who becomes his sidekick.  He’s inspired by Holy Avenger (Nathan Fillion).   He’s remarkably effective notwithstanding his complete lack of superpowers or even special skills. 

Watch it once and then go back to a regular Marvel or DC superhero movie.

Kick-Ass (2010).  I reviewed these two earlier (1/24/14) so I'll keep the reviews brief.  Refer back to the prior blog post for more detail on these.

Aaron Taylor-Johnson becomes Kick-Ass.  And does so again in the sequel, Kick-Ass 2 (2013).  In the first film he’s up against legitimate bad guy Mafia boss Frank D’Amico (Mark Strong), and allied with Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage), a former cop turned Batman without much in the way of actual super powers or gadgets.  Big Daddy has been training his daughter as his sidekick, Hit Girl (Chloe Grace-Moretz).   Things get very nasty and violent.

There’s an equally nasty and violent sequel, Kick-Ass 2, in which D’Amico’s son (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) becomes the Motherf**ker to avenge his father.  This was the film which got publicity when Jim Carrey, who plays Colonel Stars & Stripes, heavily bad-mouthed the film after it came out.  Hit Girl retired to focus on a normal social life at school, leaving KA to recruit another team of nobodies to help him.  For his part, Motherf**ker recruits his own team, including the remarkably impressive Mother Russia.  

Like the first one, it has a heavy dose of violence.  I’d say it’s rare sequel which equals or exceeds the quality of the original.  I have NOT read the source material comic books, so I can’t comment on how faithful the movies are to the books, nor on their relative merit or lack thereof.

Unlike the other two, I got these two on DVD, and as you might imagine, I can recommend them, IF you can tolerate a “Scarface” level of violence.   

Women on TV

Every now and then I watch TV, as opposed to DVD or streaming.   And sometimes a woman catches my eye.  The most recent is Christine Ko, the hot Asian chick on “The Great Indoors”, the new show featuring Joel McHale in the main role.  The dude from “Community”.  Anyhow.  When she’s on the screen I can’t take my eyes off her. 

Here are more.

Kat Dennings.   “Two Broke Girls”.  She has a nice pair of attitudes.   The show also has Garrett Morris, the token black guy from first generation SNL.   He’s still as funny as ever.

Sofia Vergara / Sarah Hyland / Ariel Winter.   “Modern Family” has not one but three hot babes (Julie Bowen doesn’t do it for me), with Sofia Vergara being one of the hottest women on the face of the planet.   Ever.  What makes her even better is that she can laugh at herself.  Hyland is also cute, and Winter has developed nicely.  Of course they all do well with some superlative writing to support them.  In fact, everyone on that show is fun to watch, though some for other reasons.

Zooey Deschanel.  “The New Girl”.  I don’t watch this much, but Zooey is always fun to see wherever she is.  She has a nice attitude, which helps. 

Aubrey Plaza.  “Parks & Recreation”.  Always the goth chick, perpetually rolling her eyes.  Funny that she was goth in personality but never actually dressed that way.

Mila Kunis & Laura Prepon.  The bodacious duo from "That 70s Show".  Kunis was cuter but Donna was easier to deal with and a better package.  Kunis remains delicious, so Kelso is a lucky guy.  Prepon is now a brunette on "Orange is the New Black", a show I've ignored - until I learned that Prepon is now a brunette on "Orange is the New Black."

Emily Wickersham.  Bishop on "NCIS".  Very cute blonde with big eyebrows that seem to work for her.  Another one who dominates my attention if she's on the screen, but it's a show I never actually watch - I simply catch it on the screen at the gym.

I’d say they’re all attractive, and a few are a bit top-heavy.  But they have a delicious attitude, each somewhat different, which makes them even more attractive than their beauty or body alone would indicate.