Not As Good < > Not Good

 

Oftentimes people sometimes confuse the two.  I suppose many of us who are married, and had several different romantic partners over the ages, might acknowledge that the person they settled down with was not their optimal sexual partner – but the person who was, had other issues (e.g. infidelity or general personal incompatibility) which made the current partner the overall optimal one.

 Moving away from relationships, this features for several musical groups.

 GRATEFUL DEAD.  The band began in San Francisco in 1965 and remained active until Jerry Garcia’s death in 1995.  After that time, the surviving band members reformed for several tours, playing the classic material with no new material recorded or released after Jerry died.  Veteran Deadheads will tell you that Jerry’s health issues in 1986 mean that the ’86-’95 version was never quite as good as the ’65-’86 version. 

 A colleague of mine had seen them multiple times before 1986 and never after that.  I invited him to join me for the 2020 show of Dead & Company – Jerry’s place taken by John Mayer, and original members Bobby Weir, Bill Kreutzman and Mickey Hart still on stage, bassist Phil Lesh still alive but too old to tour anymore – at Jiffy Lube Live.  Initially he dismissed this out of hand, but after listening to official recording of the 2019 show, he changed his mind.  [Update 2021: While the 2020 show was canceled due to COVID, we managed to see the show in August 2021, and both enjoyed it immensely, Jerry Garcia's absence notwithstanding.] 

 I’m not in a position to compare Dead & Company with pre-86 Grateful Dead.  My sole experience with Jerry-era Dead was two shows at RFK, 1992 and 1995.  I would say the subsequent shows I saw were comparable enough in quality to make the shows worth attending.

 AC/DC.  Bon Scott died in February 1980, soon replaced by Brian Johnson.   The first two Brian Johnson albums, Back in Black and For Those About To Rock (We Salute You) were top quality and just about as good – in my opinion – as the Bon Scott albums.  After that, the quality dropped dramatically.   Listening to the current album, Power Up, it’s occurred to me that musically, the band is still OK.  The “weakest link” is Johnson’s vocals, accurately described as “Marge Simpson”.  Of all the available singers, Brian Johnson is the best they can find?  Fortunately the band plays Bon Scott material and plenty of songs from Back in Black.  But later material from Blow Up Your Video through Stiff Upper Lip seriously straddle the distinction between “not as good” and “not good”. 

 Black Sabbath.  For their part, Sabbath have their classic Ozzy Osbourne era, followed by two excellent albums with Ronnie James Dio, then a slew of albums which aren’t nearly as impressive.  However, I listened to Eternal Idol and Headless Cross, both with singer Tony Martin, and found them enjoyable enough.  Not quite up to Heaven & Hell or Vol 4, but enjoyable enough.  I’m revisiting TYR right now, and will tackle Cross Purposes, Forbidden, and 13 in the coming weeks.  I can’t say there’s any Black Sabbath album, with any singer, I’d describe as “not good”.  Moreover, on the Cross Purposes tour, they pulled out “Sabbath, Bloody Sabbath”, “The Wizad”, “Into the Void”, and the full “Symptom of the Universe”, including the second acoustic part.  I’ve heard bootlegs from the ‘70s with Ozzy, and even then they weren’t playing the full song.  So give them some credit for putting on an awesome show, even if it wasn’t even Martin’s own material.

 Van Halen.  I haven’t heard the Gary Cherone album (Van Halen III), nor the fourth Sammy Hagar album (Balance), and of course I have heard all the David Lee Roth albums – offhand, I don’t recall much about A Different Kind of Truth, the only post-Hagar DLR album.  I prefer the DLR material, but Hagar’s stuff is good enough to qualify as “not as good” instead of “not good”.  Having said that, also prefer Hagar on his own and with The Circle (with Vic Johnson and Jason Bonham) or Chickenfoot (with Joe Satriani and Chad Smith).  I can’t say I’ve heard anything by Hagar I could call “not good”. 

Wishbone Ash.  Here's a band that's been around since the early 70s.  The classic lineup, for the first four albums, S/T, Pilgrimage, Argus, and Wishbone IV, was Andy Powell (guitar/vocals), Ted Turner (guitar/vocals), Martin Turner (actually not related to Ted) (bass/vocals), and Steve Upton (drums).  After IV the various band members left, leaving Andy Powell the only original member.  The classic lineup reunited in the late 80s for Nouveau Calls, but soon Powell was left by himself again, at this point I don't know why.  By the time I got into them and was looking to see them live, (2000), Powell remained the only original member of the band.  I chose to see the band anyway, and lo and behold, it was a worthwhile experience.  Of course, Powell's lineup plays plenty of classic tunes, and the current group puts out new material of competitive quality.  Maybe not as good as the first four, but certainly "good enough". 

Brian Johnson and Tony Iommi

Those who know me well, know my favorite two bands are AC/DC and Black Sabbath.

 Rockers and Rollers.  This is the book by Brian Johnson, the singer for AC/DC.  He took over from Bon Scott in 1980 after the latter’s untimely “death by misadventure”.  Now he’s been with the band for over 30 years, well beyond Bon’s tenure.  However, while all the Bon albums were excellent, only the first few BJ albums were of top quality:  Back in Black, For Those About To Rock (We Salute You) and Flick of the Switch.  The band ran out of steam after those three early 80’s albums and have been coasting in neutral ever since, though as a live experience the band remains as energetic, entertaining, and enjoyable as ever.

            Johnson’s book is a loosely collated collection of non-chronological anecdotes.  While he loves cars, he almost never mentions American muscle cars (even though he lives in Florida now): his focus is on the motley array of oil-leaking, short-circuiting, rusty iron which England produces and a handful of luxury cars (some of which are actually English).  Sometimes he races around in sports cars, but never mentions Nick Mason (maybe the Pink Floyd drummer snubbed him somewhere along the line).  He’s never at a dragstrip, he doesn’t seem to know how to work on cars himself, and the racing part seems like an expensive hobby he can now indulge in now that he’s got some money in the bank.  He’s more Tim Allen than Jay Leno.  As a car enthusiast I found the car element of his story extremely disappointing. 

            The non-car portions are marginally more interesting:  a series of rock star anecdotes which are as much about his pre-AC/DC band Geordie as about AC/DC, which gets about as much coverage as Rush did in Neil Peart’s books – with the obvious exception of Roadshow.  One mention each of Cliff Williams and Phil Rudd.  And these revelations: Malcolm drives a minivan?  Angus doesn’t even have a driver’s license?  Who would have imagined that when it comes to horsepower, AC/DC are left behind at the dragstrip by the Beach Boys?

 Iron Man.  Ah, this was MUCH more like it.  The guitarist for Black Sabbath, Tony Iommi, manages to keep the attention of a fan who has already read 99% of the literature available on the band.  Iommi’s account is chronological and makes no pretense of being a car book (!).  What’s even better, Iommi steers clear of simply repeating all the Ozzy stories we’ve already heard over the years, without shunting Ozzy off as some irrelevant nonentity only incidentally responsible for the band’s success.  What does Tony tell us?  In addition to explaining how each Black Sabbath album was made – and not in particularly tiresome detail, mind you – he helpfully discloses a full range of topics of interest to us rabid and/or rancid Black Sabbath fans:

            1.         Exactly what happened to his middle and ring finger and how he solved that problem

            2.         Which bands he was in before Black Sabbath

            3.         What happened in his month with Jethro Tull and his experience at the Stones’ Rock & Roll Circus

            4.         His 4 marriages

            5.         His fun with Frank Zappa

            6.         Why Dio left Sabbath after Live Evil and Dehumanizer

            7.         What was Glenn Hughes’ major malfunction

            8.         What is the problem with Tony Martin and Ian Gillan

            What’s even more remarkable is that Ozzy comes off as extremely sympathetic – as do Geezer Butler and Bill Ward, and even Sharon Osbourne (though I’m puzzled that even now he doesn’t know the story behind Speak of the Devil).  I’m surprised, Ronnie James Dio comes off as less likeable than them.

            Overall, easy to read (big typeface and doublespaced) with interesting pictures and again – well worth the time of anyone who thought they already knew all there was to know.  THANK YOU, TONY.

Guitar Hero/Rockband

Some time ago my brother got a Nintendo Wii, and soon thereafter was playing Guitar Hero with a Gibson Les Paul controller (considerably lighter and smaller than his actual Les Paul Custom).  He played it for some time and enjoyed it, then we forgot about it for the time being.

 Guitar Hero/Rockband 101.  You pretend to be a guitar band, with onscreen avatars: with cute chick bass player (sometimes the virtual camera goes up her skirt, which distracts me), scruffy heroin-skinny male lead singer (looks like one of the Gorillaz), and some typical drummer; and your choice of different guitarist avatars.  The overweight punk is hilarious, but I prefer Axel Steel (my favorite), who looks like Bruce Dickinson on steroids.  On GH Legends of Rock you can pick Slash as an avatar – and the choice is nonexclusive, so the bassist can also pick him.  Dueling Slashes?  You bet!

 You can either pick and choose individual songs to play, or you can choose “career mode”, in which you start off playing your back yard, then small clubs, then more respected clubs, larger venues, etc.  The game makes various comic remarks about “setting cars on fire” and other rock excesses which reduce the amount your band gets paid for gigs, but anything like groupies or drugs are strictly off-“camera” as numbers, statistics, and purely abstract elements, and not part of the game experience: no “sex” or “drugs”, just rock’n’roll.

 The controller looks like a much smaller, plastic version of a famous guitar: Gibson SG, Les Paul, Explorer, Fender Stratocaster, Fender Precision Bass (no Rickenbackers), plus some Jacksons, Paul Reed Smiths, and other models.  For Rockband Beatles you can get Lennon’s Rickenbacker, Harrison’s Gretsch, McCartney’s Hofner bass, and Ringo’s Ludwig drums.  I haven’t seen any left handed controllers, though – including the McCartney bass, which is right handed.  And the guitar controllers have whammy bars, even on Gibsons which typically don’t have them on the real guitars.  I purchased a Stratocaster controller for Wii, which I was lucky to find at this late stage in the game’s life cycle.  There are also “skins” (overlays) you can put on the plastic guitars – dragons, CSA flags, Union Jacks, the usual subjects which are available for guitar pickguards.

 As the song progresses, notes come down the screen across a virtual fretboard.   You have to push the correct colored button(s) – out of five – on the fretboard along with the “strum” bar on the guitar body, just as the note hits the line.  There is a whammy bar which fortunately does not cause tuning problems, but I’m unclear if there are any score bonuses to using it.   More crucial is a “meter” which varies from green (doing well!), yellow (caution), or red – at risk for being booed off the stage in contempt and dishonor.  The more accurate your playing, the higher on the meter you stay.  Missing notes results not only in the meter dropping, but an audible gap in the music which is itself fairly annoying.  Although Rockband adds in bass and drums, from a guitar perspective I find Guitar Hero and Rockband to be almost indistinguishable.

 At the higher difficulty levels, the blue and orange buttons (#4 and #5) are combined in awkward and implausible ways, Z# chords only Alex Lifeson knows.  Note: skill at a real guitar – even if you actually do know how to play the song being played – has zero relevance to playing this game.  And Mastery of the Five Buttons will not help you on a real guitar with 6 strings and 22 frets (plus open strings).  It was this disconnect between the game and reality which damped our ardor for the game.

 More recently, Rockband Beatles came out.  We got it and tried it out.  WOW.  Instead of a fake band, RBB has the real Beatles: John, Paul, George and Ringo.  No sign of Pete Best, Stuart Sutcliffe, Jimmy Nicol, George Martin, or Billy Preston; nor any sign of Yoko Ono, although the liner notes imply that she participated to some extent in the game development (perhaps to veto any disruptive on-screen presence).  Moreover, you can progress from The Cavern, to the Ed Sullivan Show, Shea Stadium (’65), Budokan, Tokyo (’66), then Abbey Road studios for the “studio” era, finishing up with the famous January 1969 rooftop concert.  The Shea Stadium and Budokan scenes feature the 60’s era screaming female audiences (black hair in Japan), while the otherwise sterile studio sessions at Abbey Road are enhanced with dazzling psychedelic visuals.  Despite not having any potentially hostile audience members in the studio (perhaps Yoko Ono, off camera) the game still pulls the plug on you mid-train wreck if you drop too low into the red zone.  And on the rooftop, you can see various confused people down on the street looking up – bankers and barristers going about their business on the streets of London.   No screaming teenage girls in this part of the game.  Amazing!  In fact, the graphics are so good on this, that I find them a bit distracting and I enjoy watching others play the game so I can simply watch the extra stuff.  It’s that good. 

 Impressed with that, I decided to check out the other band-oriented varieties. There are, by now, several non-band collective additions, including, but not limited to, GH 3, World Tour, Smash Hits, and GH5, the most recent, and several similar Rockband collections, all of which feature the “house band” playing covers.  Among the band-specific games, although none are nearly as impressive as the Beatles game, they vary in execution.

 Rockband AC/DC.  No sign of the real band, so far as I can see.  It’s a fake cover band playing AC/DC songs, half Bon Scott era and half Brian Johnson era.  At the end of each song you “widdly widdly” at random to mimic Angus Young’s tiresome song-enders which add musically meaningless minutes to each song (which combined could be at least another whole song).  Likewise, “Let There Be Rock” features 2 minutes of “da DAH DAH” riffing until closing it up. 

            I was not impressed.  Since this is a band with unique stage presence, Angus Young in his schoolboy outfit, Bon Scott and Brian Johnson as lively, charismatic singers, and various props such as the inflatable Rosie, the Hell’s Bell, and the FTATR cannon, relying simply on a generic cover band is a particular disappointment.

 Guitar Hero Van Halen.  Eddie’s here in his late model short haircut and Peavey-style guitar.  The drummer bears a passing resemblance to brother Alex. I don’t recognize the bassist, but it’s clearly not Michael Anthony; apparently they subbed in Wolfgang Van Halen whose only claim to fame is being Eddie’s son.  The avatar singer is supposed to be David Lee Roth, but in short hair and a shirt and jeans, he bears absolutely no resemblance to any DLR we might recognize from the classic DLR era.  This is despite the fact that all the songs come from his time, i.e. Van Halen through 1984; none of the songs are from the Sammy Hagar albums or later.  Boo hoo – although I like Sammy Hagar, both as a rock celebrity (that is, he seems like a regular guy with no ego problems) and a musician, count me in the multitude of VH fans who prefer Roth.  My biggest problem with GHVH is not the absence of Hagar – or even Anthony – but that the singer doesn’t resemble the long-haired Crazy Dave we’re familiar with.  

            Having ripped them on the presentation, I’ll give them huge credit on the song selection, though; not only the DLR focus, but they picked the very best ones: “Mean Street”, “Unchained”, “Hear About It Later”, “And the Cradle Will Rock”, “Cathedral” and “Intruder>>Pretty Woman” and even “Eruption”, which can be played without the double-tapping.

 Guitar Hero Aerosmith.  Too bad I’m not a big Aerosmith fan, as this was very well done.  On the career mode, you play two non-Aerosmith cover songs (e.g. “Dream Police” or “I Hate Myself For Loving You”) as the stock Guitar Hero house band (including Axel Steel!) then play as Aerosmith themselves for two songs and an encore.  You progress from Nipmuc high school, their first gig, to Mike’s Kansas City (in NYC), to the Orpheum, all venues with special significance in the band’s history.  In between songs the band members talk about their memories of that show or time; they are remarkably articulate and charming.  Unlike the Van Halen game and its curious lineup deficiencies, this features the full band we know and like: Steven Tyler, Joe Perry, Brad Whitford, Tom Hamilton, and Joey Kramer.  I’m glad they include my favorite song, “Uncle Salty”.

 Guitar Hero Metallica.  Also well done, also the full band, though with Robert Trujillo on bass – I don’t see any career mode with Cliff Burton, Dave Mustaine or Jason Newsted as alternate members.  Unfortunately the Load/Re-Load/St Anger/Death Man-getic era is heavily represented, about 40% of the material.  I do recall seeing the band on the Load tour, and Hetfield made some remark like, “you people [audience] like the old shit, don’t you?”  Perhaps I’m not the only one who isn’t that impressed with the later material.  Anyhow, this was well done and recommendable to anyone who likes Metallica.

 I’d love to see GH/RB Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, Pink Floyd, or King Crimson, but some of these bands would need a keyboard controller which I’ve yet to see; though seeing how the guitar controller works, a keyboard controller would be closer to how the real instrument works than the guitar controller is.  Rockband added in bass and drums.  I have no interest in DJ Hero. 

 No one’s asked me, but here are some ideas I have:

Guitar Hero WHO:  You can throw your guitar up in the air for extra points, demolish your drum set, or forfeit your hotel security deposit.

Guitar Hero Pink Floyd: Start off with Syd, strum the same chord throughout the whole song; have a whole middle era segment in Pompeii; late 70s (Dark Side, Wish You Were Here, Animals) with inflatable pig; then play The Wall show.

Rockband Deep Purple: The band members change DURING the set.  Wait? Is this Rockband Rainbow or Whitesnake?

Rockband Beach Boys: Unlock the bonus level in which Charles Manson joins the band – whether they like it or not. 

Rockband Black Sabbath: Ozzy doesn’t lose points for mumbling lyrics, forgetting them, or singing them in the wrong order. 

Guitar Hero Led Zeppelin: between phases in career mode, as a bonus you can unlock the fantasy sequences from “The Song Remains the Same”;

Guitar Hero Grateful Dead: Be ready for songs that go on for hours.  Remember that “South Park” Warcraft episode? 

Finally, Rocksmith.  Someone actually bothered to rig a game which can be used with an actual guitar, and I've played it.  Unfortunately I don't have an xBox360, and the selection of songs was very weak.

Black Is The Color

It’s time for another somewhat esoteric and abstract discussion, this time about something pretty vague: the color black.

For a long time, it’s been my favorite color. I can’t explain why; I suppose it’s just a matter of taste. I’m not even a goth, nor have I ever been.


Cars. I had my Formula painted black in 1997-78 (from its original dark aqua metallic), and having seen Knight Rider, it’s clear that few cars suit the color as well as a ’92 Firebird Formula, with its sleek body and asymmetric hood. It suits the car even better than it does ’76-81 Trans Ams, especially the Special Editions (aka “Bandit models”) as I’m not a big fan of black & gold. Car manufacturers report that black is consistently a popular color, ever since the Model T, which of course was only offered in black. Unfortunately for cars, black is the color least forgiving of dents, dings, and other imperfections – and white is the most forgiving, which is why pickups and utility vans are so often white. Any car looks best in black, but it’s most alluring and flattering for performance cars.


Guitars. My Gibson Explorer and Fender Stratocaster are both black. I’d have bought my Gibson SG in black too, but that particular model, the ’62 Reissue, was only available in cherry. Since Stratocasters have been available in solid colors – after the two-tone sunburst they originally came in, in 1954 – since 1956, black has been the one color, year after year, which has always been available. Eric Clapton’s famous Strat is black, and the color is now available for his signature model. The Les Paul Custom is traditionally black, although it’s available in other colors as well, notably white and silverburst (favored by Adam Jones of Tool).


Race. I suppose as a white person, my own preferences are irrelevant, but I prefer the term “black” to describe that race, better than the alternatives. Obviously “colored” and “negro” are out of fashion, yet “African-American” seems a little too stilted. Those of us of European descent don’t refer to ourselves as “Polish-American”, “German-American”, or “Irish-American”, etc., especially since with such heterogeneity among not only whites but also multi-racial mix these days, it would be cumbersome, inconvenient, and really stupid for any of us who aren’t complete pedigrees to insist on that. Of course, black people are more brown (aside from some from deep, dark Africa), but aside from albinos, white people aren’t really “white” (more like pink), and Asians aren’t really “yellow” either. I’ve heard the expression “oreo” (black on the outside, white on the inside); is there a “snowball” (white on the outside, black on the inside)? Or a “twinkie” (yellow on the outside, white on the inside)? Or “egg” (white on the outside, yellow on the inside)? We could go on with these food/race analogies for awhile. Be that as it may, I think as a racial description, black is best: it’s simple, descriptive, and devoid of value-judgments.


Music/Songs. “Fade to Black” by Metallica, “Back in Black” (song and album) by AC/DC, “Paint It Black” by the Rolling Stones, not to mention Metallica’s self-titled fifth album, are just a few examples. Ritchie Blackmore tended to dress in black, but for some reason rarely favored black guitars. Black Sabbath also comes to mind. Then there's Spinal Tap....


Clothing. The black uniform of the Allgemeine SS (General SS) of Nazi Germany comes to mind, but these days, an all-black uniform is most likely the province of hair dressers. “Dieter” from Sprockets is long over…. I have a black suit, a black dress shirt, a black tie, and dozens of black t-shirts collected over the years of going to metal concerts, though I can’t say I wear black much more often than any other color.

Still Not on DVD

Two movies are STILL not out on DVD.

AC/DC “Let There Be Rock”. I mentioned this film earlier in my blog. This was a film that came out in Paris in 1979, showing one of the band’s last performances with original singer Bon Scott, at the Zenith. This place is up far northeast Paris, and we’ve seen several concerts there, unfortunately not this particular one.
AC/DC were touring their album Highway to Hell, possibly the best of their original Bon Scott albums. By now Brian Johnson has been with the band for 27 years, far longer than Bon Scott, but somehow Bon is the classic singer. The movie not only shows the band in concert – in top form – but also has several interviews with various band members. Bon gets to show his abundant charm, wit, and Scottish accent, even speculating that if there was a war, AC/DC could put on concerts for the troops. Malcolm Young, the rhythm guitarist, kicks a soccer ball around a field. Phil Rudd, the drummer, drives a Porsche 928 around a lake, chased by a biplane. Angus Young, the lead guitarist, even has a few words to say and scribbles a cartoon of himself.
This is one of the better rock movies out there, of a great band, playing a great concert, at the peak of their career, with some stunning extra footage in the middle. WHY is this not on DVD??

Beatles, “The Compleat Beatles”. A fantastic documentary, narrated by Malcolm McDowell, best known for his performance as Alex in the film “A Clockwork Orange.” The band’s history is told from Liverpool, the early days at the Cavern and in Hamburg, the rise of Beatlemania, the transition period of Revolver, the masterpiece Sgt Pepper, and even their breakdown and breakup are well-told. George Martin, the producer, is articulate and eloquent; various other musicians – including Billy Preston and the Beach Boys – give their two cents worth, and the way the whole thing is put together is fantastic, even without any actual interviews with any of the band members themselves. It’s stunning how they make it work even without John, Paul, George or Ringo involved.
We can now see the low-budget monstrosity “Magical Mystery Tour” on DVD (as Monty Python might put it, all the imperfections of the original film are now in crystal digital clarity!!). We can see the extended idiotic music video with great music but a stupid plot, known as “HELP!” on DVD. But when it comes to the best possible documentary on one of the best possible bands....it’s still VHS.
Why, when much lesser product by each band is out on DVD, are these two films still stuck on VHS? It’s oversights like this that force us to keep our VCRs instead of switching over completely to the DVD format. Argggh!!!!!!!!

TOOL and Concerts

On Friday, June 8, 2007, I saw Tool in concert at the 1^st Mariner Arena in Baltimore, formerly known as the Baltimore Arena.  They played for two hours with no encore, and pretty much played the songs as they are on the albums, with over half the set from their newest (and in my opinion best) album 10,000 Days: Jambi, Stinkfist, Forty-Six and 2, Schism, Rosetta Stoned, Flood, Wings 1&2, Lateralus, and Vicarious.  9 songs in two hours = 13 minutes a song!  Since the running time for the studio versions of the songs comes up to less than an hour and a half, some of the songs were obviously extended.  I had to endure Friday rush hour traffic, including a substantial detour off 95 North, and the venue was NOT air conditioned, which the hot, humid June weather made quite noticeable.

 I’m not going to claim that I didn’t enjoy the show, because I did.  These guys are talented musicians and I like their music.  And they focused on the album of theirs which I like the most.  But it prompted me to consider certain things.

 This was concert 134 for me, since October 1984.  Tool was clearly worthwhile as I had never seen them before and had no idea what to expect – even though I’ve known of this band since 1992 when their first album, Undertow, came out, and their first single, “Sober” dominated the airwaves and MTV.  I don’t know why I ignored them for so long, as I liked “Sober” and hadn’t heard anything by them that I didn’t like.  I guess I just never got around to getting into them, and it took Maynard’s “we’re not worthy” worshipping at the altar of King Crimson to get me to pay attention to them. 

  OK, so seeing Tool was a good idea.  But why bother going to a concert at all?  Just to see the band play?  Why is that important?   You can hear the music at home – any song you want, not just the greatest hits the band wants to shove down our throats tour after tour (“the fans demand it”, they claim.  Which fans?  They never asked ME).  Maybe because seeing a band play live gives you an experience you don’t get at home.  Every band claims to be great live, but they clearly differ in this.

 At one extreme are bands like Rush, who go onstage and play every song, note-for-note, exactly as it is on the album, with no improvisation, no jamming, and no unexpected gems popping out.  Alex and Geddy pretty much stay on their sides of the stage and play.  Neil gets his drum solo, though I find drum solos so dull that as far as I’m concerned, they don’t really count as “improvisation”.  More like “cure for insomnia.”   A reviewer made similar remarks about Boston, noting that from a distance, for all we knew these were cardboard cutouts of the band members; he wished Tom Scholz would sneeze or bend over to tie his shoelace so we could see it was a real, living human being up there.  For bands like this, there doesn’t appear to be any dramatic improvement over simply staying at home and listening to whatever album you want to hear – especially older ones they never play live!!! – such that you should feel compelled to pay $60 for a ticket, endure the crowds and parking lots, and see them again for the xth time. 

 At the other extreme is the Grateful Dead, where every night was a different set, they frequently played covers, and often had guest musicians – and you could expect a jam.  Moreover, they might play a familiar song in a different way, faster, slower, heavier, etc.  Even so, a Dead concert had a format you could count on: two sets divided by an intermission, with “drums/space” in the second set, a de facto second intermission as most of us don’t really care to watch Mickey and Bill square off against each other yet again.   But here again, you’re getting something completely different than what you could expect at home.  I don’t have an entire stadium parking lot of stoned hippies, selling dope and clever Calvin & Hobbes toke-off vs. Bart Simpson t-shirts at my apartment!  Somewhat more of an incentive to get off your butt and over to RFK, Nissan Pavilion, or Merriweather.

 In the middle are bands like AC/DC, Deep Purple, and Blue Oyster Cult.  You can expect certain songs are going to be in the set, but they leave room for jams and you get an experience you don’t get by simply sitting at home listening to the music on your stereo.  Ian Gillan talks alot during the show, though much of what he says doesn’t seem to make a whole lot of sense; his introductions to songs are somewhat obtuse.  Eric Bloom can usually be counted on to make a few clever offhand remarks.  In this regard, Jethro Tull are probably one of the better bands: Ian Anderson not only jumps around with his flute, far more spry than you would imagine a man his age would be, but also very clever and witty with the onstage chat.  He’s one singer where you DON’T think to yourself, “shut the fuck up and play more music!”

 Concert Crap. One element I could do without are these “call and response” sections.  Metallica, Judas Priest, and Iron Maiden are worst at this.  15 minutes of “seek and....” “SEEK AND DESTROY!!!” “Very good!  Again!”  which could have been 2-3 songs.  Thanks!  I came to hear music, not to scream lyrics I’ve known for years at a band who also know them (or do they need 10,000 screaming idiots to remind them?).  MOSHING is another idiocy.  Whoever came up with that concept deserves a lobotomy, though I wonder if it would really make much of a difference.  Then there are these “food court druids”, especially at metal shows (Marilyn Manson comes to mind).  You know the type.  They can’t simply wear a t-shirt and jeans; they have to dye their hair black, white, purple, or other weird colors, have some tattoos and piercings, and wear some sort of really outlandish outfit (e.g. those black trench coats or fishnet stockings) and you can tell they take themselves SOOOO seriously.  It’s a whole IMAGE and PERSONA they’re cultivating.  Anyone wearing KISS makeup – or anything close to the full costume – at a KISS show definitely qualifies (has anyone ever seen anyone pretending to be Eric Carr or Vinnie Vincent?).  What are you, a General in the KISS Army?  Give me a break.  Finally, there’s the complete asshole who can only enjoy himself if he gets totally tanked and yells, screams, bumps into people, and makes a complete ass of himself; his “concert experience” consists of ruining it for everyone else around him.  At least potheads and Deadheads don’t do this.  Moshing at a Dead show?  I don’t think so.

 Venues.  I’ve gone to a fair amount of shows at clubs, which are an amazingly good deal.  Several times cheaper than a stadium show and no bad seats in the place – none of this business of paying $80 for a seat up in section 30,000,000 where you need the Hubble Telescope to see the band, AND the sound quality totally sucks.  Plus at the club shows the band frequently hangs around to sign autographs with the 30 fans it has left.  Good luck trying to meet Mick or Keith at the stadium concert.  Finally, you’re not stuck in a huge parking lot, breathing that fragrant aroma of carbon monoxide, for an hour trying to get out.  The trick is to show up in between the last (completely incompetent) opening act and the headliner.  Woo hoo!

 T-shirts.  When we were younger we’d eagerly snap up as many as we could.  We didn’t have many, so we wanted to accumulate a collection.  As years went by, and we can’t wear the Judas Priest or Metallica shirt at the office (and we have 3-4 of each anyway) AND the prices went up, it got to the point where you look and go, “do any of these $35 shirts reach out and blow me? Otherwise forget it.”

 I still go to concerts.  But I no longer have the youthful enthusiasm, unlimited energy, and clueless tolerance for inane bullshit and idiocy that I had when I was 15.   Life goes on. “Plus ça change, plus c’est le meme chose.”