Confess, Maynard

 I put two books on my Amazon Wish List last Christmas, and my Santa-esque brother (my only one, Matt) thankfully got both for me.  The first is Confess, the autobiography of Judas Priest singer Rob Halford, and the other is A Perfect Union of Contrary Things, by Sarah Jensen with Maynard James Keenan, the enigmatic singer for TOOL, plus his side projects A Perfect Circle (APC) and Puscifer.  Confess is told in the first person by Halford himself, and covers the period all the way up to Andy Sneap’s replacement of Glenn Tipton for Firepower, the band’s latest album.  APUCT is in the third person with some direct quotes from MJK himself.

 Confess.  With the exception of original singer Alan Atkins – who left the band long before its first album, Rocka Rolla, was released in September 1974 – and brief replacement singer Ripper Owens, who only sang on Jugulator and Demolition (1995 and 1998), the singer for heavy metal band Judas Priest has been Rob Halford, from Walsall, a suburb of Birmingham, England. 

 Defenders of the Faith.  We received this album, on cassette, for free, in spring 1984 (i.e. their newest album at the time) and immediately got hooked on the band. That summer we picked up Sad Wings of Destiny on vinyl and discovered Early Priest.  When the issue of Halford’s social life came up, we took at face value his denial of homosexuality, but my friend Sean said – back in 1984 – “if he isn’t gay, why is he dressing that way?”  When Halford finally did “come out” in the early 90s, it was hardly a surprise.  Well, whatever.  We still bought Angel of Retribution, Nostradamus, Redeemer of Souls and Firepower, and still went to the concerts. 

 Having said all that, his autobiography is a bit heavy on the gay-ness, roughly 50%.  I wasn’t concerned about his “keeping in the closet”, of cruising and hooking up, of winding up with straights who have sex with men (“then you ain’t that straight!!!! Tiger Guy).  Talk about a heavy dose of TMI.  He could cut it down by half and still tell us all the stuff we care about:  how he joined Judas Priest (long before Rocka Rolla came out), the circumstances of each lineup change (particularly drummers), the background on each album and tour, and the band’s interaction with other metal bands.  Oh, and he loves “Spinal Tap”.  That’s the part I care about, and fortunately it’s here. 

 Gay Stuff.  I don’t want to devote an entire blog to this topic so I might as well address it here.   I am straight and always have been.  I have very few friends these days, and none of them are gay.  I’ve had gay acquaintances but not close relationships.   But what other people do among themselves, as consenting adults, is their business.  I have enough to worry about in my own life without getting bent out of shape about others.  Moreover, most people who bark and bray the loudest against gays usually turn out to be deep in the closet.  Again, I don’t care.

 If there is one part which does bug me, it’s this business of gays being pretentious.   I love watching “Modern Family” (though Sofia Vergara, Ariel Winter, and Sarah Hyland receive most of my attention) and the gay couple, Mitch (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) and Cam (Eric Stonestreet) seem to click all the boxes on gay stereotypes, even to the point of their friends, e.g. Pepper (Nathan Lane).  Of course, the show makes fun of Colombian drug lord culture (Gloria Pritchett, played by Sofia Vergara), goofy magic nerd realtors (Phil Dunphy, played by Ty Burrell), and stupid hot chicks (Haley Dunphy, played by Sarah Hyland), so the ridicule is evenly spread throughout. 

 In any case, Halford’s orientation was already common knowledge when he formally “came out” in the early 90s after leaving Priest, and certainly is now.  So “Confess” is somewhat of a meaningless title.  Anyhow. 

 A Perfect Union of Contrary Things.   Apparently MJK grew up in the Midwest, Ohio & Grand Rapids.  He joined the Army, but though picked to go to West Point itself from West Point Prep, actually decided to go to art school (????) in Michigan, then work in a pet store in Boston, and eventually relocated to L.A., where he worked at another pet store and met guitarist Adam Jones and drummer Danny Carey.  They formed TOOL with bassist Paul D’Amour in 1992.  After only 6 live shows, all as opening acts at microscopic clubs in L.A., somehow they got a record deal almost instantaneously. 

 After Aenima, their second album, TOOL had legal issues regarding their record contract, so MJK wound up with free, idle time, which he spent getting A Perfect Circle off the ground.  At some later point he started his second side project, Puscifer.  He also discovered jiu jitsu and set up a vineyard in Arizona.   ZZZ.

 Awhile back I read the autobiography of Brian Johnson, the singer for AC/DC (Rockers and Rollers), and blogged about it (back in 2012).   I also blogged when Axl Rose took over on the recent tour.  Brian Johnson’s voice has been accurately described as “Marge Simpson”, and of all the band members, he’s clearly the band’s weakest link.  Whether it was 1980, 1990, 2000, 2010, or 2020, Angus could find any number of singers, either professional or undiscovered in a club somewhere, who could do better than Brian Johnson. 

But to get back on topic:  Johnson’s autobiography actually made me like him LESS.  And same deal with Maynard’s.   Goes to art school instead of West Point?   Jiu jitsu and wine?  The utter pretentiousness of the book is off the chart, yet this is not a critique or expose, it’s supposed to be HIS story. 

 In fact, it does such a spectacular job at making him appear pretentious that I begin to wonder if that wasn’t the whole point all along.  Of course he’s pretentious.  He’s Maynard.  Listen to TOOL lyrics and you’ll figure that out.  The book just adds into the whole equation, a Fibonacci spiral….

 Will I stop listening to TOOL or going to their shows?  Of course not.  Same deal with seeing AC/DC live even if Marge Simpson is still their singer.  And Halford’s private life is not my concern, his music is.  These people are imperfect humans just like I am and their music is still top quality.   Sometimes, though, you find your heroes have clay feet.  And life goes on. 

Hearing Aids

Recently we caught AC/DC on what will probably be their last tour.   A concert originally scheduled for March 2016 was postponed six months to September, and longtime vocalist Brian Johnson was replaced – for this tour – with infamous Guns N’Roses singer Axl Rose.  It turns out that Johnson, who had weathered 36 years of touring with AC/DC, lost his hearing not from touring, but from his side hobby racing cars.  D’oh!   Contrast that with Pete Townshend, whose hearing loss is directly related to those full power Marshall stacks behind him.

My hearing has always been subpar, even before we moved to Paris in 1979, and well before we started going to concerts (1984).   I’ve never seen The Who in concert – was never that much of a fan.   I’ve seen Motorhead a few times, but the loudest concert was actually Y&T at Jaxx in 2002 – that was actually painfully loud. 

Originally my ambition was to attend the US Military Academy, aka West Point, and become an Army officer.  Life had other plans:  my hearing was below military specifications.   This also disqualified me from ROTC, the National Guard – as a private – and even JAG (military lawyers) as the JAG recruiters refused to waive the hearing requirement even for a non-combat role.  

Eventually I wound up getting hearing aids, the newest set of which I finally got today.   This pair can be calibrated and tweaked by – guess what? – an app.  We’ll see how they work.  The prior set, also purchased from Costco, lasted about five years before the left one crapped out.

I recall one set which fit in the ear itself, filling up the entire space.   The next set went down inside, with a small antenna to pull them out.  The current format is behind the ear with a bud going into the ear canal, plus a small rubber earpiece. 

With eyesight, glasses or contact lenses will bring you back up to 20/20 vision.  Unfortunately, hearing aids are not the same.  They take  you from abysmal hearing just up to marginally less than bad.  However, they do make a big difference.   Listening to music, for one, is a remarkably more pleasant experience with them, as they pick up the higher frequencies I’d otherwise miss.  Without them, music is muddy and dull.    Plus hearing all the awful noises my car makes as it gets older is another benefit.  And of course, hearing people talk, especially if they’re not standing right in front of me. 

 

The other major necessity is being able to hear in court:  the judge, the witnesses and/or parties, and opposing counsel.  Lately more courts have hearing assisted devices (e.g. Fairfax and Loudoun), but unfortunately this is more the exception than the rule.  I had a trial in Loudoun County a few years ago and the device worked perfectly in a huge courtroom: I could hear the Judge, the witnesses, the attorneys, everyone.  Hopefully the new ones will help for those courts, the majority, which don’t.   We’ll have to see.

Brian vs Axl

Recently I had the immense good fortune to experience what will possibly be the second to last AC/DC concert, and the last in my area, at the Verizon Center in DC.  Many thanks to my brother Matt, who took me to the show.  Amen!

The concert was originally scheduled for March 17, but had to be postponed when singer Brian Johnson was advised by his doctor to quit touring or lose his hearing.  After much confusion, the band agreed to have the infamous, erratic, and heretofore unreliable Guns N’Roses singer W. Axl Rose take over.  This was even more remarkable as he had also reconciled with his former GNR bandmates Slash and Duff McKagan, and was touring with the revamped GNR at about the same time.  So there was ample speculation as to whether this would work.  Now we know.

The band went on around 9 p.m. and played for a solid two hours, not counting the encore.  Now that the tour is over I can disclose the setlist without ruining it for anyone:  Rock Or Bust, Shoot To Thrill, Hell Ain’t A Bad Place To Be, Back in Black, Got Some Rock’n’Roll Thunder, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, Rock’n’Roll Damnation, Thunderstruck, High Voltage, Rock’n’Roll Train, Hell’s Bells, Given The Dog A Bone, If You Want Blood (You Got It), Live Wire, Sin City, You Shook Me All Night Long, Shot Down in Flames, Have a Drink On Me, T.N.T., Whole Lotta Rosie, Let There Be Rock, and (encore) Highway to Hell, Riff Raff, and For Those About To Rock (We Salute You).  The last show in Philadelphia added “Problem Child” to the encore.

As the setlist indicates, the band dipped deep into its Bon Scott repertoire to our immense surprise and satisfaction; as Matt noted, in Johnson’s absence the band was free to play more of Bon Scott’s material.   I found Axl’s inter-song banter somewhat unintelligible and obtuse – similar to Ian Gillan – but his vocals and delivery were spot on, both for the Johnson material, but also for the Scott material, though with regard to the latter he appeared to be doing his own impression of Johnson singing Scott’s material.  Well, I can’t and won’t complain.

Brian vs. Axl.  Let me start by saying that I have always been somewhat ambivalent about Axl Rose.  With regard to his singing ability, Rose has a refreshing variety of singing styles, not just one.  Appetite For Destruction, Use Your Illusion (I & II), and GNR Lies, (and, for that matter, Chinese Democracy) show his impressive range – leave aside his myriad attitude problems and other eccentricities, as a singer he is VERY good.  

Contrast this with Brian Johnson, who from Back In Black to Rock Or Bust has a grand total of ONE singing style, a raspy shriek which has not improved over the years.  He could not sing “Ride On”, much less “Patience”, “Used to Love Her”, “Sweet Child O’Mine”, or “Estranged”, and his delivery of Bon’s songs is barely adequate and NO improvement.  So as singers, Axl is clearly superior to Johnson.

As musicians?  By that I mean, showing up on time, getting along with your bandmates, cooperating in the studio and on tour, and overall doing what you have to so the band puts out albums and tours effectively.  By that standard Johnson was clearly superior.   Axl, for all his talent, seemed to degenerate into a spoiled child for many years.  Chinese Democracy took far too long to come out and was at best mediocre when it did, although Use Your Illusion should really be condensed down to one superlative, classic album instead of two albums with some excellent songs and lots of inane filler.  It took Axl all this time to surgically remove his head from his ass and get back with Slash and Duff, each of whom were capable of putting out material and touring with other bands while Axl was …doing what?  

Meanwhile, Brian Johnson sang on Back in Black, For Those About To Rock, Flick of the Switch, Fly on the Wall, Blow Up Your Video, The Razor’s Edge, Ballbreaker, Stiff Upper Lip, Black Ice, and Rock Or Bust, and until his doctor pulled the plug on him, reliably toured all those albums without any fuss or bother.  I suppose his blue collar upbringing in Newcastle instilled a strong work ethic which I have to admire.  As a musician, Johnson clearly beat Axl.

As persons?  I read Johnson’s book, Rockers and Rollers.  This was written BY him (with some assistance), not an expose by someone else intended to make him look bad.  Yet it makes him look bad.  He prattles about Geordie (like we care), his rare mentions of AC/DC are put-downs of Angus and Malcolm, and he brags about racing cars as a hobby – without mentioning Nick Mason.  Overall somewhat of a jerk, but even so, not nearly as petulant and spoiled as Axl.  In that regard I’d call him a bit better than Axl. 

When the AXL decision was announced, a substantial outcry went up.  Axl? In AC/DC?  I suspect 90% of that opposition was because it appeared that Johnson - who up to this point was 100% reliable, as noted above, for 36 years - was being summarily dismissed due to factors beyond his control and the heretofore ne'er-do-well, spoiled child Axl was given the job in his place.  Certainly, viewed in that context it looks unfair to Johnson and an equally inequitable windfall to Axl.  "The show must go on" sounds awfully harsh, but recall that Johnson replaced Bon in mere months, so he was also the beneficiary of his predecessor's bad luck.  But I believe that, notwithstanding his prior track record, Axl delivered the goods and got the job done.

Brian vs. Bon.  Maybe a bit unfair, but I’ll do it anyway.  Bon’s voice was much better than Brian’s, by far.  No contest.  In terms of material, look at the Bon albums.  High Voltage (US/Europe and Australian), TNT (Australian), Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (US/Europe and Australian) Let There Be Rock, Powerage, and Highway to Hell.  All decent albums, with the last three being superb classics.   Six albums from 1975 to 1979 – just four years. 

Brian Johnson’s era has 10 albums from 1980 to 2014, 34 years.  Of these, one classic, two are very good, and the rest are highly mediocre, including two stinkers, Fly on the Wall and Blow Up Your Video.  Fortunately for us fans, the band mostly tended to ignore the crap in concert, giving up sets which were 40% Back In Black, 40% Bon Scott, and only 20% new stuff no one wanted to hear.  

Fortunately, this time around, Axl & Angus – supported by Stevie Young, Cliff Williams, and Chris Slade – played plenty of stuff we wanted to hear.  With the cannons roaring, this band literally went out with a bang.    

Brian Johnson and Tony Iommi

Those who know me well, know my favorite two bands are AC/DC and Black Sabbath.

 Rockers and Rollers.  This is the book by Brian Johnson, the singer for AC/DC.  He took over from Bon Scott in 1980 after the latter’s untimely “death by misadventure”.  Now he’s been with the band for over 30 years, well beyond Bon’s tenure.  However, while all the Bon albums were excellent, only the first few BJ albums were of top quality:  Back in Black, For Those About To Rock (We Salute You) and Flick of the Switch.  The band ran out of steam after those three early 80’s albums and have been coasting in neutral ever since, though as a live experience the band remains as energetic, entertaining, and enjoyable as ever.

            Johnson’s book is a loosely collated collection of non-chronological anecdotes.  While he loves cars, he almost never mentions American muscle cars (even though he lives in Florida now): his focus is on the motley array of oil-leaking, short-circuiting, rusty iron which England produces and a handful of luxury cars (some of which are actually English).  Sometimes he races around in sports cars, but never mentions Nick Mason (maybe the Pink Floyd drummer snubbed him somewhere along the line).  He’s never at a dragstrip, he doesn’t seem to know how to work on cars himself, and the racing part seems like an expensive hobby he can now indulge in now that he’s got some money in the bank.  He’s more Tim Allen than Jay Leno.  As a car enthusiast I found the car element of his story extremely disappointing. 

            The non-car portions are marginally more interesting:  a series of rock star anecdotes which are as much about his pre-AC/DC band Geordie as about AC/DC, which gets about as much coverage as Rush did in Neil Peart’s books – with the obvious exception of Roadshow.  One mention each of Cliff Williams and Phil Rudd.  And these revelations: Malcolm drives a minivan?  Angus doesn’t even have a driver’s license?  Who would have imagined that when it comes to horsepower, AC/DC are left behind at the dragstrip by the Beach Boys?

 Iron Man.  Ah, this was MUCH more like it.  The guitarist for Black Sabbath, Tony Iommi, manages to keep the attention of a fan who has already read 99% of the literature available on the band.  Iommi’s account is chronological and makes no pretense of being a car book (!).  What’s even better, Iommi steers clear of simply repeating all the Ozzy stories we’ve already heard over the years, without shunting Ozzy off as some irrelevant nonentity only incidentally responsible for the band’s success.  What does Tony tell us?  In addition to explaining how each Black Sabbath album was made – and not in particularly tiresome detail, mind you – he helpfully discloses a full range of topics of interest to us rabid and/or rancid Black Sabbath fans:

            1.         Exactly what happened to his middle and ring finger and how he solved that problem

            2.         Which bands he was in before Black Sabbath

            3.         What happened in his month with Jethro Tull and his experience at the Stones’ Rock & Roll Circus

            4.         His 4 marriages

            5.         His fun with Frank Zappa

            6.         Why Dio left Sabbath after Live Evil and Dehumanizer

            7.         What was Glenn Hughes’ major malfunction

            8.         What is the problem with Tony Martin and Ian Gillan

            What’s even more remarkable is that Ozzy comes off as extremely sympathetic – as do Geezer Butler and Bill Ward, and even Sharon Osbourne (though I’m puzzled that even now he doesn’t know the story behind Speak of the Devil).  I’m surprised, Ronnie James Dio comes off as less likeable than them.

            Overall, easy to read (big typeface and doublespaced) with interesting pictures and again – well worth the time of anyone who thought they already knew all there was to know.  THANK YOU, TONY.