Women on TV

Every now and then I watch TV, as opposed to DVD or streaming.   And sometimes a woman catches my eye.  The most recent is Christine Ko, the hot Asian chick on “The Great Indoors”, the new show featuring Joel McHale in the main role.  The dude from “Community”.  Anyhow.  When she’s on the screen I can’t take my eyes off her. 

Here are more.

Kat Dennings.   “Two Broke Girls”.  She has a nice pair of attitudes.   The show also has Garrett Morris, the token black guy from first generation SNL.   He’s still as funny as ever.

Sofia Vergara / Sarah Hyland / Ariel Winter.   “Modern Family” has not one but three hot babes (Julie Bowen doesn’t do it for me), with Sofia Vergara being one of the hottest women on the face of the planet.   Ever.  What makes her even better is that she can laugh at herself.  Hyland is also cute, and Winter has developed nicely.  Of course they all do well with some superlative writing to support them.  In fact, everyone on that show is fun to watch, though some for other reasons.

Zooey Deschanel.  “The New Girl”.  I don’t watch this much, but Zooey is always fun to see wherever she is.  She has a nice attitude, which helps. 

Aubrey Plaza.  “Parks & Recreation”.  Always the goth chick, perpetually rolling her eyes.  Funny that she was goth in personality but never actually dressed that way.

Mila Kunis & Laura Prepon.  The bodacious duo from "That 70s Show".  Kunis was cuter but Donna was easier to deal with and a better package.  Kunis remains delicious, so Kelso is a lucky guy.  Prepon is now a brunette on "Orange is the New Black", a show I've ignored - until I learned that Prepon is now a brunette on "Orange is the New Black."

Emily Wickersham.  Bishop on "NCIS".  Very cute blonde with big eyebrows that seem to work for her.  Another one who dominates my attention if she's on the screen, but it's a show I never actually watch - I simply catch it on the screen at the gym.

I’d say they’re all attractive, and a few are a bit top-heavy.  But they have a delicious attitude, each somewhat different, which makes them even more attractive than their beauty or body alone would indicate.  

The Melvins

Back to back musical blogs, due to ever more persistent writers block.   But this band merits attention and is not as well-known as Sammy Hagar.

They started in the late 80s, with Buzz Osborne as the only consistent member.    I call him Sideshow Buzz because of his frizzy hair, which is distinctive.  He’s kind of portly but not excessively so.   He plays guitar and sings.  It’s a raspy growl similar to – but distinguishable from – Lemmy.

The Melvins could be considered grunge.   They’re from Washington State, and Buzz is frequently credited with introducing Kurt Cobain to Krist Novoselic and thereby forming Nirvana.  Musically, Black Sabbath are clearly a major influence, but Buzz takes it in a stranger and more oddball, and highly irreverent, direction, more so than Soundgarden or Alice in Chains.

They have 25 studio albums, of which I have Gluey Porch Treatments, Ozma, Bullhead, Houdini, Tres Cabrones, Hold It In, and Basses Loaded.  So far I like what I’ve heard, and I’ll eventually acquire the rest.  Lori Temple Black, Shirley Temple’s daughter, was on the earlier material. 

I don’t have any Fantomas, which is Buzz’ side project with Mike Patton of Faith No More.   Patton’s non FNM stuff – especially Mr. Bungle – is particularly avante garde and experimental, so much so it seems like an elaborate joke on people, like we’re actually not supposed to like it. 

I managed to catch them recently at the Otto Bar in northeast Baltimore.  Entertaining, but not my favorite band.  I guess I’m getting jaded these days and am less impressed with bands than I used to – with Clutch consistently being the most consistently satisfying, mostly because they tour and put out new material at a furious pace.  If you’re willing to see them, you can probably wind up doing so at least once a year.  Anyhow.   

Sammy Hagar

I was sick recently, and having already blogged about being sick – in addition to being generally uninspired – I waited until now to post.   Especially since I finished reading Hagar’s autobiography.

Montrose.   He started out in this band and is on the first two albums.  Highlights are “Rock Candy” and “I’ve Got The Fire”.  According to Hagar, this was his first major break.  But Ronnie Montrose was insecure and couldn’t handle a singer getting more attention and credit than him, so he had to leave the band and go solo.

Solo.  He went solo fairly early and amassed an impressive volume of material.  We purchased Street Machine, Three Lock Box, and VOA, the latter having “I Can’t Drive 55”.   Our first ever exposure was “Heavy Metal”, from the soundtrack album, which occurs on Standing Hampton.  Nine on the Ten Scale, the first solo album, has a strange vibe to it, but I enjoyed listening to it.

HSAS.  Hagar, Neil Schon (Journey & Santana), Kenny Aaronson and Michael Shreve.   Only one album, plus a cover of “A Whiter Shade of Pale" that I’d like to hear. 

Van Halen.   Here’s the only times I’ve seen SH live:  on the OU812 and F.U.C.K. tours with Van Halen.  Total of four albums:  5150, OU812, For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge, and Balance.  Of this material my favorite is “Black & Blue”. 

Chickenfoot.   A supergroup with Chad Smith (RHCP), Michael Anthony, and Joe Satriani.  It refers to the peace symbol and is neither sex, drug, nor car related.  Actually damn heavy and well worth listening to.  The second album is deliberately misleadingly titled III. 

The Circle.  Vic Johnson on guitar, Michael Anthony on bass, Jason Bonham on drums.  Another excellent collaboration.  I’d never heard of Vic Johnson before, but he gets the job done well.  The album has an impressive array of covers and his own material, including “Rock Candy”. 

Cars.   He loves cars, especially Ferraris and late 70s Trans Ams.  The car he bought with his first advance from Montrose was a Citroen 2CV.   “I Can’t Drive 55” is one of my favorite songs.  I’m not aware that he actually knows how to work on them, he sings about going fast but nothing more detailed than that.  He shared Eddie Van Halen's mechanic, which is how he got into that band.    

Mexico.  Give him credit – he went down to Cabo Wabo when there was nothing there, and put something there.  Is his tequila any good?  Who knows.  He smoked weed, did acid, but never cared for heroin or beer.  He also admits not being faithful on the road.   What can he say?  He knows he's human.   All too human.

If I have a problem with Hagar it’s his narrow range of topics.  Moreover, much of his material can’t figure out it it’s meant to rock or be commercial.  I suppose you could say he successfully straddles both, but I’d say only a few songs like “Heavy Metal” truly hit the sweet spot. 

The autobiography is actually intriguing.  By nature these things are self-serving, and too many are full of insincere crap, like blaming all mistakes on someone else.   Brian Johnson’s book makes him look like a buffoon – his OWN BOOK – and Ritchie Blackmore’s documentary also makes him look like an arrogant asshole.  Too many oddball stories about Ian Gillan.  But Hagar seems willing to own up to his own mistakes and take responsibility, presumably because he knows that when it comes time to blame someone else – like Eddie Van Halen – it will sound more sincere.  By now we’ve heard about the meltdown, and I suppose some of us may have heard Eddie’s side.  Without having been there in person, I can’t say I can really say for sure, but Hagar puts his case convincingly.