Confess, Maynard

 I put two books on my Amazon Wish List last Christmas, and my Santa-esque brother (my only one, Matt) thankfully got both for me.  The first is Confess, the autobiography of Judas Priest singer Rob Halford, and the other is A Perfect Union of Contrary Things, by Sarah Jensen with Maynard James Keenan, the enigmatic singer for TOOL, plus his side projects A Perfect Circle (APC) and Puscifer.  Confess is told in the first person by Halford himself, and covers the period all the way up to Andy Sneap’s replacement of Glenn Tipton for Firepower, the band’s latest album.  APUCT is in the third person with some direct quotes from MJK himself.

 Confess.  With the exception of original singer Alan Atkins – who left the band long before its first album, Rocka Rolla, was released in September 1974 – and brief replacement singer Ripper Owens, who only sang on Jugulator and Demolition (1995 and 1998), the singer for heavy metal band Judas Priest has been Rob Halford, from Walsall, a suburb of Birmingham, England. 

 Defenders of the Faith.  We received this album, on cassette, for free, in spring 1984 (i.e. their newest album at the time) and immediately got hooked on the band. That summer we picked up Sad Wings of Destiny on vinyl and discovered Early Priest.  When the issue of Halford’s social life came up, we took at face value his denial of homosexuality, but my friend Sean said – back in 1984 – “if he isn’t gay, why is he dressing that way?”  When Halford finally did “come out” in the early 90s, it was hardly a surprise.  Well, whatever.  We still bought Angel of Retribution, Nostradamus, Redeemer of Souls and Firepower, and still went to the concerts. 

 Having said all that, his autobiography is a bit heavy on the gay-ness, roughly 50%.  I wasn’t concerned about his “keeping in the closet”, of cruising and hooking up, of winding up with straights who have sex with men (“then you ain’t that straight!!!! Tiger Guy).  Talk about a heavy dose of TMI.  He could cut it down by half and still tell us all the stuff we care about:  how he joined Judas Priest (long before Rocka Rolla came out), the circumstances of each lineup change (particularly drummers), the background on each album and tour, and the band’s interaction with other metal bands.  Oh, and he loves “Spinal Tap”.  That’s the part I care about, and fortunately it’s here. 

 Gay Stuff.  I don’t want to devote an entire blog to this topic so I might as well address it here.   I am straight and always have been.  I have very few friends these days, and none of them are gay.  I’ve had gay acquaintances but not close relationships.   But what other people do among themselves, as consenting adults, is their business.  I have enough to worry about in my own life without getting bent out of shape about others.  Moreover, most people who bark and bray the loudest against gays usually turn out to be deep in the closet.  Again, I don’t care.

 If there is one part which does bug me, it’s this business of gays being pretentious.   I love watching “Modern Family” (though Sofia Vergara, Ariel Winter, and Sarah Hyland receive most of my attention) and the gay couple, Mitch (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) and Cam (Eric Stonestreet) seem to click all the boxes on gay stereotypes, even to the point of their friends, e.g. Pepper (Nathan Lane).  Of course, the show makes fun of Colombian drug lord culture (Gloria Pritchett, played by Sofia Vergara), goofy magic nerd realtors (Phil Dunphy, played by Ty Burrell), and stupid hot chicks (Haley Dunphy, played by Sarah Hyland), so the ridicule is evenly spread throughout. 

 In any case, Halford’s orientation was already common knowledge when he formally “came out” in the early 90s after leaving Priest, and certainly is now.  So “Confess” is somewhat of a meaningless title.  Anyhow. 

 A Perfect Union of Contrary Things.   Apparently MJK grew up in the Midwest, Ohio & Grand Rapids.  He joined the Army, but though picked to go to West Point itself from West Point Prep, actually decided to go to art school (????) in Michigan, then work in a pet store in Boston, and eventually relocated to L.A., where he worked at another pet store and met guitarist Adam Jones and drummer Danny Carey.  They formed TOOL with bassist Paul D’Amour in 1992.  After only 6 live shows, all as opening acts at microscopic clubs in L.A., somehow they got a record deal almost instantaneously. 

 After Aenima, their second album, TOOL had legal issues regarding their record contract, so MJK wound up with free, idle time, which he spent getting A Perfect Circle off the ground.  At some later point he started his second side project, Puscifer.  He also discovered jiu jitsu and set up a vineyard in Arizona.   ZZZ.

 Awhile back I read the autobiography of Brian Johnson, the singer for AC/DC (Rockers and Rollers), and blogged about it (back in 2012).   I also blogged when Axl Rose took over on the recent tour.  Brian Johnson’s voice has been accurately described as “Marge Simpson”, and of all the band members, he’s clearly the band’s weakest link.  Whether it was 1980, 1990, 2000, 2010, or 2020, Angus could find any number of singers, either professional or undiscovered in a club somewhere, who could do better than Brian Johnson. 

But to get back on topic:  Johnson’s autobiography actually made me like him LESS.  And same deal with Maynard’s.   Goes to art school instead of West Point?   Jiu jitsu and wine?  The utter pretentiousness of the book is off the chart, yet this is not a critique or expose, it’s supposed to be HIS story. 

 In fact, it does such a spectacular job at making him appear pretentious that I begin to wonder if that wasn’t the whole point all along.  Of course he’s pretentious.  He’s Maynard.  Listen to TOOL lyrics and you’ll figure that out.  The book just adds into the whole equation, a Fibonacci spiral….

 Will I stop listening to TOOL or going to their shows?  Of course not.  Same deal with seeing AC/DC live even if Marge Simpson is still their singer.  And Halford’s private life is not my concern, his music is.  These people are imperfect humans just like I am and their music is still top quality.   Sometimes, though, you find your heroes have clay feet.  And life goes on. 

The GRATEFUL TOOL

My topic for today had been aesthetics, but it looks like the release of Fear Inoculum, the fifth and latest TOOL album, and my receipt thereof as normally scheduled for 8/30 (thank God!), has provided me with a compelling topic.   In particular, the behavior of TOOL fans in the days leading up to the release brought to mind another fan base, that of the Grateful Dead.

Both bands have a fairly rabid base of fans who often behave irrationally, sometimes to the point of fanaticism.   With Jerry Garcia’s passing in 1995 the fervor over the older band has subsided.  With the exception of bassist Phil Lesh, the oldest surviving member, who is apparently too old to tour these days, the remaining members Bobby Weir (guitar and vocals), Bill Kreutzmann (drums) and Mickey Hart (percussion) accompanied by John Mayer, continue to tour without releasing new material.   I’ve seen a few shows and the fan base appears to be 70% old enough to have seen the band back with Jerry Garcia in 1995 or earlier.   Myself, I managed to see the band in 1992 and 1995, catching the very tail end of the original era, then a few more times more recently after the band reunited after Garcia’s death to play again. 

TOOL don’t have cursed keyboardists (Ron “Pigpen” McKiernan, Keith Godchaux, or Brent Mydland) and only one personnel change, original bassist Paul D’Amour replaced by current bassist Justin Chancellor around the time of the second album, Aenima.   The remainder of the band is charismatic frontman Maynard James Keenan (aka “MJK”), guitarist Adam Jones, and drummer Danny Carey.  Albums #1, 3 and 4 are Undertow, Lateralus, and 10,000 Days, plus EPs Salival and Opiate, partially live.  As my meme notes, TOOL do not have a proper live album as such.  By way of comparison, Clutch, who have been around the same length of time as TOOL, have put out 12 studio albums between Transnational Speedway League (1993) and Book of Bad Decisions (2018). 

Both bands give a unique live experience.  The Dead play two full 90 minute sets with a 30 minute intermission, and its famous “Drums/Space” jam with Kreutzmann and Hart is in the second set.  Every set is completely different, and you might even hear covers.  The light show is nice but not as impressive as TOOL’s.

TOOL sets are 80% the same night by night with 2-3 slots changing up.  With only 4 albums to choose from, and a principled objection to playing covers, the repertoire is limited.  The Dead had 13 studio albums from 1967 (self-titled) to 1990 (Without a Net), some of them effectively live albums, and a fair amount of covers thrown in. 

Maynard affects weird stage costumes which are mostly wasted as he sings in back of the stage, next to Carey, in darkness.  The band are overshadowed by their elaborate Alex Grey imagery behind them, which melts sound and vision together into an organic whole.   Both bands are strongly associated with not merely cannabis but also Hofmann/Sandoz inspired psychedelics, but such substances are helpful but not necessary to enjoy the experience of the live spectacle or the music itself.

Musically I’d describe the Grateful Dead as country music made by hippies with an infinite supply of LSD.  Oddly, country music fans don’t seem to like the Dead and vice versa.  Thanks to lyricist Robert Hunter, the words are more along the lines of Blue Oyster Cult than Blake Shelton.  TOOL are more like Pink Floyd morphed into as heavy as they could possibly be – David Gilmour pumped with steroids.  But unlike many of their peers, TOOL have a singer, Maynard, who ACTUALLY SINGS.  Yes, Cookie Monster is not in this band. 

Sadly, the fans of each can, as noted above, be somewhat obtuse.  With TOOL currently touring and putting out new material – as glacial as that now seems to be, with 13 years separating 10k Days and Fear Inoculum – the TOOL crowd is far more front and center than the Dead fans are. 

Maynard vs. Jerry.   Garcia was really non-objectionable.  Both had side projects:   MJK has A Perfect Circle and Puscifer, both of which go in one ear and out the other.  Garcia had the Jerry Garcia Band, who I saw in 1991 before even seeing the Dead themselves.  Maynard can be somewhat arrogant at times.  He runs a vineyard, produces a wine – Caduceus, which I haven’t bothered to overpay for as I’m not a wine fanatic – and loves guns, which doesn’t bother me.  To hear TOOL fans talk, though, Jones, Chancellor and Carey are session musicians who guest on TOOL albums to help out Maynard.  

I’d say the #1 fault of Deadheads is only listening to the Dead.   I was at a Dark Star Orchestra (DSO – one of the top Dead tribute bands) show at the 9:30 Club in DC wearing a Pink Floyd shirt and got a dirty look.  At the very least, Dead fans should listen to Pink Floyd.  Beyond that I can’t say that Deadheads are annoying enough to draw too much negative attention to the band itself.  Actually, Garcia himself said in a Playboy interview that the band is apolitical by nature and Republicans can listen and come to the shows.   Can’t imagine Trump at a Dead & Company show.  Or at a TOOL show, for that matter. 

I’m a member of the TOOL Army, but only joined recently and only got into the band when 10,000 Days came out and the band voiced its support for King Crimson.  All four shows I saw were 10K Days tour shows.   The fans can be a little pretentious, to say the least, like latter day Beatles fans.  The biggest issue I have is the fans who didn’t wait for 8/30, didn’t order the expensive, fancy Fear Inoculum package, illegally downloaded the album and were bursting forth with their reviews of it.   Yes, those of us who waited felt a little superior – rightfully so.

Revision 9/1/19.  As of now I’ve been able to listen to Fear Inoculum in its entirety three times, though as yet not the video itself; prior to that I heard “Descending” at the Fairfax concert (5/24/17) and “Descending”, “Invincible” and “Chocolate Chip Trip” at the Hampton show (5/10/19).   My assessment?  Excellent quality, comparable in quality to the prior four albums.  Six major songs ranging from 10:05 to 15:44 in length: “Fear Inoculum”, “Pneuma”, “Invincible”, “Descending”, “Culling Voices”, and “7empest”.  It’s TOOL people.

The Facebook Reaction from the TOOL CULT appears to vary as follows:

1.   Best album ever, naming my next child “Fear”

2.   Good, but not better than [prior album] – instigating massive debate on relative merits of the 5 albums

3.   Good, but breaking up the Fibonacci spiral of quality improvement and year intervals of 1/3/5/5/13 from Opiate to the current album.   Sorry.

4.  Good, but not worth the 13 year wait.

5.   Good, but not worth $40 for that damn CD packaging

6.   Sounds too much like TOOL

7.   Sounds too much like A Perfect Circle

8.   Not enough Maynard

The rest of you are welcome to join the cult or slam us as idiots for worshipping these four mortals whose music is inexplicably given such reverence.   You know, like us who worship Neil, Tim, Dan and Jean-Paul in Clutch.   Sadly, much of the contempt thrown as us TOOL fanatics is coming from the Maryland cult, as if these two bands, of admittedly much different styles and certainly far different productivity and stage shows, are necessarily mutually exclusive.   I say we can worship both Maynard AND Neil.   AMEN, brothers.