Bar Exams

Yet again, writer’s block hits me this week, as practically any subject I’d care to hit I’ve hit before.  Here goes.

I graduated from George Mason University School of Law (GMUSL) – now Antonin Scalia School of Law – in May 1993, with Ruth Bader Ginsburg, just months before joining the US Supreme Court, as our commencement speaker.  I do not recall her speech, and I’m led to understand from an unnamed classmate (also male) that the speech was directed at the half of our class who shared Ms. Ginsburg’s gender, i.e. not me.

Fortunately, I was employed by an attorney (Jerry) at the time, so my next task, Juris Doctor (law degree) in hand, was to pass the bar exam.  My comrade Greenside and I drove down to Roanoke on a Monday in July 1993, to endure two days of bar examin-ing, in suit & tie, no less.  Not sure if it’s still required, but back then, the Virginia bar required you to actually dress up to take the exam.

Virginia.  July 1993.  Tuesday was the essay portion – three hours in the morning, three in the afternoon, 10 short essay questions.  Wednesday was the Multistate portion, all multiple choice, for which on any given question you had 25% of getting it right even guessing at random.

Maryland.   July 1993.  Greenside would not be taking the Maryland exam because he lives down in Virginia Beach.  So I flew back on Wednesday night, driving up to Timonium, Maryland near the state fairgrounds, to take the Maryland essay exam on Thursday morning.  Unlike Virginia, Maryland does not require formal business attire.  Their essay portion was 2 hours and 15 minutes morning and afternoon, and very long, multi-part essay questions.  With that, I was done.   Jerry and I went on to handle a three day jury trial in US District Court in Baltimore – a drug dealer suing cops for police brutality.  Not a sympathetic client.  Anyhow. 

Results?  In October 1993, I received the news:  I had FAILED the Virginia bar exam, by mere points.  On reconsideration, the bar examiners insisted that I had still failed.  I would have to take the February 1994 exam.  D’oh!

In November 1993, I received the GOOD NEWS that I had PASSED the Maryland bar exam.  In early December 1993 I took a mandatory professionalism class in downtown Baltimore, and on December 16, 1993, in Annapolis, Maryland, I was sworn into the Maryland bar.  I was now an attorney – albeit only in Maryland.

February 1994.  The next Virginia exam was down in Norfolk.  To make matters worse, they had completely changed the format from July 1993: now it was long, detailed essay questions (75%) followed by fill-in-the-blank questions (25%), though working with Jerry I knew most of the answers from practical experience.   However, due to the new format, the bar review courses (BAR/BRI, etc) were useless, and simply advised everyone to study as much as possible and hope for the best.

On returning to the office the following Monday, I got the bad news from Jerry that he was laying me off.  D’oh!  He gave me the month of March as severance – full pay, don’t have to work – but that was it for the time being.  I now had a surplus of free time.  I bought a textbook on auto mechanics and went from being clueless about how cars worked to being able to pass ASE exams and taking classes at NOVA-Alexandria, right next door to where I live today.

In April, I came back from wherever I had been during the day, to find a small envelope in my mailbox, from the Virginia Board of Bar Examiners.  It was their ecstatic pleasure to inform me that I had somehow managed to PASS the February 1994 Virginia bar exam.  “Await further instructions”.   That meant another mandatory professionalism course – I recall Judge Bach, of the Fairfax County Circuit Court, telling us the story of an attorney who insisted her criminal client “studied at George Mason University School of Law”, only to have to admit that the defendant wasn’t actually a law student, he merely read books in the law library.  Way to go, counsel. 

On June 6, 1994, in downtown Richmond, Virginia, I swore into the Virginia Bar.  Now I was finally licensed in Virginia – albeit without a job.  That December, Jerry hired me back, and that lasted until May 1998, at which point Jerry got hired by a huge law firm that didn’t want me, and he closed the firm.

Waive-Ins.   Aside from actually taking a state’s bar exam, you can waive in, if you’ve been practicing somewhere else for some time.

DC.  I waived into DC in 2012.  That involved a brief, informal meeting with DC lawyers at the courthouse on Indiana Ave.  They were impressed enough to recommend my admission, and a few months later I was sworn into the DC Bar. 

I’ve had only a few DC cases to date.  As yet, the majority of my experience (60%) is in Virginia (plus admission to the US District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia) with the balance (38%) in Maryland, also admitted to the US District Court for the District of Maryland.  I never got around to being admitted to the US District Court for the District of Columbia.   Note that being admitted to state bar does NOT give you admission to the federal courts in that state.  You have to be sponsored by an existing member, and formally admitted.  My primary purpose in doing so is to handle bankruptcy cases, which are 100% federal law.

New York.  Avoiding that notoriously difficult NY bar exam, I waived in.  In December 2013 I failed to impress a three lawyer panel in Albany of my merit and character.  I appealed that decision, and in December 2014 I went back up to Albany for a formal hearing, which Jerry attended over the phone, testifying as to my character.  This panel, a different trio of lawyers, felt considerably better about me and recommended my admission.  In June 2015, I went back up to Albany a third time and swore into the New York Bar.  

As yet I have had NO NY clients and have yet to set foot in any courtroom in New York.  My inclination would be to sit in and listen, but with my current relationship status (no longer romantically linked to anyone in Fort Lee, New Jersey) and the COVID drama – which is pushing many court appearances online to avoid the virus – that looks extremely unlikely for the near future.

“Suits”.  While I’m on the topic, I’ll bring up this TV show.  It takes place in Manhattan, New York, and covers a major law firm in the city which exclusively hires Harvard Law School graduates.  Meghan Markle, who plays Rachel Zane, wound up marrying Prince Harry.  Yes, that guy.  The main character is Mike Ross (Patrick J. Adams), who apparently has photographic memory:  he need only read a page one time and can remember it verbatim.  For some reason, he could NOT get into law school or get a J.D., however, he took and passed the bar exams, fraudulently doing so for other applicants who presumably did have law degrees but weren’t nearly as astute at taking exams (you know, like the exams you have to take in law school).  He’s hired by the firm’s senior partner, Harvey Specter (Gabriel Macht) as an associate (employee attorney on salary, not a partner).   Again, not only is Ross not a licensed attorney in ANY jurisdiction (least of all New York) he doesn’t even have a law degree.   Of course, they have to keep this a major secret.  I’ve finished season 1, and so far I’ve seen at least one episode where he appears IN COURT, in front of a judge, representing a client as an attorney.   He also has to attend a Harvard Law School alumni function and of course, no one recognizes him.  The utter implausibility of the entire premise doesn’t completely undermine its entertainment value, so I suppose I may continue watching….

All of Maryland

 

As my Facebook posts show – for those of you paying attention – I’ve been touring around Maryland recently.  I grew up in Montgomery Village and consider the 355 corridor from Gaithersburg down to Bethesda to be my home turf.  As an adult I discovered Baltimore (and have blogged about it in the past).  The rest of the state fell by the wayside until I finally decided to see it all, once and for all.  I’ve lived in Paris, France, visited lots of Europe and Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, so not seeing my home state in its entirety with a surplus of COVID19-inflicted free time struck me an egregious oversight. 

 Moreover, I attended undergraduate college at the University of Maryland, College Park, which is the state university’s main campus.  North and South Hill dorms are named after Maryland counties, whereas the 11 high rise dorms are named after county seats (no Rockville Hall, by the way).  I was in Hagerstown Hall for freshman year, Talbot Hall for sophomore year and fall semester of junior year, then Montgomery Hall for spring semester junior year and all of senior year, plus New Leonardtown apartments for all of summer 1988 and first session of summer 1990, before graduating once and for all.

 Already Knew.   Montgomery, Prince George’s, Frederick, Washington, Howard, Anne Arundel, Baltimore City, Baltimore County, and Charles County.  Back in the 70s our family went to Ocean City twice, but obviously that was some time ago.   Most of my clients are Vietnamese, and you’ll probably find very few of them on the Eastern Shore.  Moreover, much of my practice is divorce, and so long as one of the parties lives somewhere in Maryland, you can file in any county, even if neither party lives in that particular county (so long as both parties agree).  An uncontested divorce in Maryland will have a single hearing before a master, and with the COVID these days, even those hearings are now held over the phone and not in the courthouse.  These days I’ve been filing all of them in Montgomery County.   

 Mission 1.  Garrett & Allegheny Counties (county seats:  Oakland and Cumberland).  The far northwest counties, surrounded by West Virginia and Pennsylvania.  Highly picturesque and aesthetically beautiful.  I’m glad I visited them for the first time ever. 

Mission 2.   Carroll & Harford Counties (county seats:  Westminster & Bel Air).  I had visited my mother in the hospital just southeast of Leesburg, Virginia, took the highway up past Frederick, Maryland, and stopped by Westminster, which is a fairly small, old-fashioned town.  Carroll County is between Frederick County and Baltimore County, bordering on Pennsylvania (the famous Mason-Dixon Line).   Then southeast to the Baltimore Beltway (695), up around northeast to Bel Air, which is just off I-95 northeast of Baltimore; Harford County also borders Pennsylvania in between Baltimore County and Cecil County, the latter being the northeast corner of Maryland, bordering Delaware.  

 Mission 3.   St. Mary’s & Calvert Counties (county seats:  Leonardtown & Prince Frederick).    After passing through Prince George’s and Charles County, you’ll eventually hit St Mary’s County, with lots of farms.  A few days earlier my office manager, Nancy, had me take her down here – just 5 minutes from Leonardtown – looking for live chickens.  No luck, but the way was paved for the Leonardtown mission.  As it happens, in addition to two vacations in Ocean City prior to January 1979, our father also took us on a weekend excursion to Solomon’s Island, which is right across the river in Calvert County, and actually on the way to Prince Frederick from Leonardtown.  Our 1970s trip to Solomon’s Island was a rainy weekend, and our dad took us to a tobacco plantation.  This time around the weather was much nicer, but I simply passed through Solomon’s Island and only spent brief moments in each county seat.  After Prince Frederick, the route took me back up past Lower Marlboro – not exactly next to Upper Marlboro – and eventually back up to the beltway near Andrews Air Force Base.

 Mission 4.   Cecil County, Kent County. Queen Anne’s County, Caroline County (county seats:  Elkton, Chestertown, Centreville, and Denton).  Starting from Elkton, Maryland, close by to Delaware, I went south through the northern portion of Maryland’s Eastern Shore.   I had literally never been here before, even in passing, the closest being passing by on I-95 to/from Delaware and New Jersey.   Highly rural, lots of farms, not much to see here.  The county seats are small and indistinguishable, though Denton likes to brag that FDR came through to give a speech in 1938 or so.    From Denton I returned home over the Bay Bridge and then down I295 to 395 and back to Virginia.

 Mission 5.   Talbot County, Dorchester County, Wicomico County, Somerset County, and Worcester County (county seats:  Easton, Cambridge, Salisbury, Princess Anne, and Snow Hill).   I wrapped this up by visiting Ocean City, albeit briefly.   This route took me across the Bay Bridge to Easton, Cambridge and Salisbury, then the detour to Princess Anne and Snow Hill – neither are off of Route 50, the main highway from the Bay Bridge to Ocean City – then up to Ocean City itself.

 Back on Memorial Day Weekend, 1990, my buddy Phil and I were puzzled that the Cellar, our favorite bar in College Park, was empty on Friday night.  The Cellar’s bouncer suggested that everyone had gone to Ocean City for the weekend.   At the spur of the moment, we left College Park at midnight, drive on Route 50 with no traffic in the middle of the night, and reached Ocean City at 3 a.m.   We slept in the car, only to be woken not by a local cop, but by heavy rain.  When the weather report promised a whole weekend of this, we set off, westbound on Route 50, arriving back in rainy, overcast College Park at noon.  That was the extent of my Eastern Shore travels as an adult, until last weekend’s solo road trip.   

 This time around I was alone and reached Ocean City around 5 p.m. on a sunny, warm, Saturday afternoon.  I hit the main drag from Route 50, drove north up to the Carousel Hotel, and spent about 5 minutes there looking around, and 5 minutes on the beach in street clothes.  It looks like the hotel is in the same shape and condition it was back in the late 70s when we visited it.  I took I 90 west to Route 50 and was home in about 2.5 hours.

Maryland ranks 42^nd in the US in size, and 19^th in population.   Leaving aside Baltimore, which is six times more populated than Columbia, the second largest city, only Ellicott City (Howard), Frederick (Frederick) and Rockville (Montgomery) are county seats in the top 10. 

Who Was Prince William?

On Wednesday morning I had a return date (status hearing at which trial date is set) in Prince William County General District Court in Manassas, Virginia.   Upon completing my actual legal business it finally occurred to me to ask, after having practiced in Northern Virginia in general and PWC itself in particular since 1994, “who was Prince William?”  And with the county itself dating back to 1731 (before even the American Revolution), it obviously cannot be named after Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, the older son of Prince Charles and Lady Diana, born in 1982. 

Prince William County, Virginia.  Named after Prince William (1721-1765) (the Duke of Cumberland, buried in Westminster Abbey in London), third youngest son of King George II of England (predecessor to the more infamous King George III who reigned during our Revolution).   His own notoriety extended to the Jacobite Rebellion in England and some action in the Seven Years War – better known to us as the French & Indian War.  The Jacobite Rebellion (1745) was the last of a series of revolts which attempted to return the prior Stuart dynasty to the throne of England, Scotland, and Wales, which had been taken over by the House of Hanover, which lasted until Queen Victoria.  She was married to Prince Albert, of the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, and her son Edward VII took over in 1901.  He died in 1910, and George V took over.  In 1917, at war with Germany, they decided to change the name from Saxe-Coburg & Gotha to Windsor, so Edward VIII (1938), George VI (1938-1952, played by Colin Firth in "The King's Speech"), and Elizabeth II (1952 to present) are all monarchs of the House of Windsor, though tracing ancestry back to George I (1714-1727) who famously spoke more German than English.  Rumors of Queen Victoria having a German accent - though her own husband was German - are apparently not true.  However, her eldest grandchild was none other than Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany.  (See my blog post on the Hohenzollerns back on 1/6/17.)    
  

The major two areas in Prince William County are Manassas and Woodbridge, the county seat and courthouse being in the former.   Downtown Manassas is actually fairly small.  The courthouse has a cafeteria in the basement, the Juvenile & Domestic Relations Court (child support between unmarried parents, spousal support outside divorce, and domestic abuse cases) on the ground floor, General District Court (civil cases under $25,000, misdemeanors and traffic cases) on the first floor, and Circuit Court (civil cases over $25,000, felonies, divorces) on the second floor).  The courthouse is fairly new, but I could not ascertain when it was built.  It predates my own ascent to Virginia bar-dom in 1994, so I’m guessing sometime in the 1980s or early 1990s.  The Manassas battlefield, where the various Bull Run battles of the Civil War took place, is also here, as is Jiffy Lube Live, formerly Nissan Pavilion, a large concert venue, somewhat of a semi-outdoor pavilion similar to Merriweather Post Pavilion in Columbia, Maryland.  I recognize PWC police handling security at the concerts. 

John & Lorena Bobbitt.  I’d consider these the PWC court’s most famous trials. This was the famous couple – the wife cut off her allegedly abusive husband’s “Little Brother” which was successfully re-attached.  Each was charged with crimes (A&B for her, rape for him) and each was actually acquitted. 

Fairfax (City) and County.  Named after Thomas Fairfax, 6^th Lord Fairfax of Cameron (1693-1781).  He actually lived in Virginia and developed those lands.  His estate at Greenway Court, Clarke County, Virginia (far west in the boondocks near West Virginia) seems to be nominal by now. 

Arlington County.  Named after Henry Bennet, the First Earl of Arlington (1618-1685).   English nobleman.  This is the Virginia county which, if you look at its dimensions, appears to be the lower southwest quadrant of the District of Columbia.   DC is split into four quadrants, divided north-south by Independence and Constitution Ave., and east-west by North and South Capital Streets, which are slightly off-center of the apex to the east by a few blocks.  “Southwest” is actually fairly small, because most of what we would think of as southwest is actually Arlington County, Virginia, ceded back to Virginia in 1846.  I lived there from 1990 (graduating from University of Maryland, College Park) until 2004 (moving to my current whereabouts, not far away in Fairfax County).   Note:  for those 14 years I was never called for jury duty in Arlington County.  Immediately upon moving to Fairfax County in October 2004 I received a jury duty summons, which I successfully evaded being a practicing attorney in Fairfax County.

Arlington County’s most famous building is the five-sided Pentagon.   Maybe you’ve heard of it.

Loudoun County.   Named after John Campbell, Fourth Earl of Loudoun (1705-1782).  A contemporary of Prince William, even served under him in the Jacobite Rebellion.  The county seat is Leesburg.  I’ve had numerous cases in the courthouse there. 

By the way.  In front of the courthouse is a Confederate statue.  We’ll see how long that lasts, but if you’re out to get rid of Confederate statues, Virginia in general and Richmond in particular will be a big task.  My own assessment is that the Confederates attempted to secede in April 1861 with the express intention, consistently maintained by all the major Confederates, of retaining their “peculiar institution” of slavery.  Any other issues of “states’ rights” are therefore irrelevancies added decades after the fact retroactively to justify a rebellion when slavery was long discredited and nowhere close to being a popular cause.  That being the case, we really have no legitimate reason to celebrate or treasure the rebellion.  Having said that, we might want to allow “these people” (as Robert E. Lee might put it) the prerogative to keep Richmond itself as the exclusive territory in which any such statues and memorials can remain out of sheer historical significance. 

Richmond (City).  The capital of Virginia and of the Confederacy (1861-65) is actually named after another city, Richmond, near London, England.  No biography here. 

Virginia (Commonwealth of).  So far was we can tell, it’s named after Queen Elizabeth I (Cate Blanchett), often referred to as the Virgin Queen. 

Now on to Maryland…

Prince George’s County.  The day after my status hearing in Manassas, I had a personal injury trial in PG County District Court, located in the county seat of Upper Marlboro, Maryland.  The county is the Maryland one bordering DC to the east.  Upper Marlboro is fairly small and is just a few blocks deep. I passed by Lower Marlboro, maybe 10-20 miles south, on my way back up from the Solomons Island area on a recent road trip. 

Named after Prince George of Denmark (1653-1708) (also Duke of Cumberland and also buried in Westminster Abbey in London).   His claim to fame was being the husband of Queen Anne of England – the sister of Mary, wife of William of Orange (as in “William & Mary University”).   Thus he was around the same time as Louis XIV of France. 

Montgomery County.  Named after Richard Montgomery (1738-1775, buried in NYC), a Revolutionary War general who died in the war.   County seat is Rockville, and it’s Maryland’s most prosperous county, bordering on DC to the west.  I lived in Montgomery Village from 1969 to 1979 – the first ten years of my life.

On a school trip as a kid we went to the District Court.  Years later I practiced there as an attorney, though a newer building has recently opened up.  I practice in the next door Circuit Court building quite often, in fact filing all my uncontested divorces there.    

Frederick (City and County).  Unclear exactly who the second largest city in Maryland (and its county) is named after, though Calvert (below) is one candidate.

 

Baltimore (City and County).   Name after Cecil Calvert, the Second Baron Baltimore (1605-1675).   He was effectively the governor of Maryland from 1632 to 1675, though unlike Lord Fairfax he stayed in England during this time.

The city itself is by far the largest city in Maryland.  The City and County are separate, with the county buildings, including the District and Circuit Court buildings, in Towson, which is just inside the Baltimore Beltway (695) off York Road.  The city court buildings can be seen now and then in “The Wire”, which not only takes place in Baltimore but is actually filmed there as well.

   

Then you’ve got Sir Lord Baltimore, a British rock band from the early 1970s.  Not sure if they ever actually toured Baltimore, Maryland.   

Maryland.  Named after Henrietta Maria of France (1625-1669), wife of King Charles I, a Stuart monarch executed in the English Civil War, and mother of King Charles II.   We pronounce the state’s name “Marilynd”, like Marilyn Monroe.  I attended the University of Maryland, College Park (main campus) from 1986 to 1990 and graduated with a B.S. in general business and a B.A. in government & politics, a double degree (156 credits) and not a double major.  With my mother’s recent move to Herndon, Virginia from Frederick, Maryland, that means no more relatives living in Maryland anymore. 

Hopefully that should satisfy our curiosity – to the extent anyone cared.  I did.  Did you?

Rockville Pike aka Route 355

We discovered Miller’s NJ Alehouse in Paramus, on Route 4.  They have a fantastic chicken cheesesteak.  As it was, I found there are two Miller’s Alehouses in the DC area:  one in Sterling, Virginia, the other on Rockville Pike (355) in Rockville, Maryland, where Shakey’s Pizza used to be (so far as I know the only remaining Shakey’s is in L.A., and I went there in summer 2010).   Anyhow.  Here’s a blog which serves as a HEY YOU to my readers from Montgomery County, Maryland, and former classmates at St. Martin’s. 

Wishing to visit my mom in Frederick, I decided to avoid 270 and take the long way, up 355.  At this point in its life, 355 is called Rockville Pike.

Rockville.   This is the county seat of Montgomery County, Maryland, and the location of its courthouse complex.  The old red brick building is still there, a “newer” concrete block dating from the 1930s (the former District Court), a brand new District Court building across the street, and a newly expanded Circuit Court building next to that.  The original courthouse was Hungerford’s Tavern, a real tavern.  Imagine if the local Hooters or Buffalo Wild Wings served as a courthouse.   Mind.  Blown.

Wisconsin Ave./Rockville Pike/355.  What we think of as 355 is actually VERY old.  It used to be called Rock Creek Main Road, and stretched from what became Washington, DC, all the way to Frederick.  In June 1863, Confederate forces stopped by Rockville on their way up to get their asses kicked at Gettysburg.

It starts out under the Whitehurst Freeway in DC as Wisconsin Ave., goes up the hill, and proceeds northwest to Friendship Heights, in Maryland.   Further stops:

1.         Chevy Chase.  Not the actor.  No idea why they both have the same name.  This is a densely developed urban area with lots of fancy stores, including Mazza Gallerie and Saks Fifth Avenue.

2.         Bethesda.  Home of the Naval Hospital, where I was born in January 1969.  The Chinatown bus stops here, on its way to/from Arlington, VA to NYC, and we stayed here for a bit in summer 1990 waiting for our sea shipment to come over from Paris. 

3.         White Flint Mall.   Now it’s kind of run down and half empty.  I took my LSAT prep classes there in fall 1989.  There seems to be a mattress store every block around here. 

4.         Downtown Rockville, including the courthouse complex.  Rockville Mall was closed in 1994.  There’s some new development here and a movie theater.

5.         Gaithersburg.  Where we used to live (actually, Montgomery Village) and includes Lakeforest Mall, still alive.

6.         Germantown.  Home of Clutch.  The Cider Barrel is still there, but it has been closed the last few times I went past it.  Check out “Opossum Minister” on From Beale Street To Oblivion, as it seems singer Neil Fallon used to live in Montgomery Village.

7.         Clarksburg.   Here the road is two lanes and winds through old houses and no particular development.

8.         Hyattstown.   Likewise.  Now it’s a country road, going up and down hills with farms on either side.  And it’s 2016.   

Leaving Montgomery County…

9.         Urbana, first stop in Frederick County.   75/80 Drag-A-Way is closed down.  I brought my Firebird Formula here several times in the late 1990s.

10.        Frederick, passing by Francis Scott Key Mall, and ending at Route 26. 

Of course, driving this way takes time, but it’s also extremely calming and therapeutic.  Part of the fun is remembering what something used to be.

1.         Drive-in Theater on Hungerford Drive.  Gone.  The Giant across the street used to be a Hechingers.  My dad was big time into hardware, so whereas Best Buy and Barnes & Noble are my current favorite stores, Hechingers (old days) and Home Depot (more recently, up to his passing in 2004) were his temples.

2.         Burger Chef gone.   Now it looks like they’re ALL gone.  If they can bring Roy Rogers back from the brink of extinction, why not Burger Chef?  Or Red Barn?  Yeah, I know – all those horrendously unhealthy burgers and fries we used to eat back then.  Now everything is “gluten-free” and “healthy”.  We’re still dying, though.  Why is that?

3.         King Pontiac is now just King Buick GMC.   The King farm is still behind it, and my dad told me stories about their family.  I bought my first new car, a 1992 Firebird there, on November 22, 1992.  Reed Brothers Dodge, across the street, is still around, and is apparently one of the older car dealerships in the area. 

4.         Montgomery College is still around.  However, I had no occasion to go there, we went to UMCP.  Why no Montgomery County campus of University of Maryland?

4.         Lots of Asian food places too, almost as many as mattress stores.  Is there a connection?

5.         Chafitz – the TV and appliance store - is gone.  It’s a mattress store now.  Or a liquor store.

6.         Phineas, a prime rib restaurant, is gone.  That’s were my parents revealed to us, in September 1978, that by January 1979 we’d be living in Paris.  And my Dad wouldn’t have to mow lawns anymore.

7.         Congressional Plaza.  Now it’s fancied up, but that is apparently one of the older shopping centers.

8.         Shakey’s.  As noted, it’s gone, now a Miller’s Alehouse.  The Toys R Us across the street moved down to Nicholson Lane, and Montrose Road and that area is getting a huge development of high rises to make the older condo building (the Forum?) look small and lost by comparison. 

9.         St. Martin’s Catholic Church & School.  It’s at a crossroads with Summit Ave. – who figured that thing out?  We went there as kids, and I remember many Christmas masses there.  I still go there occasionally, out of sheer nostalgia.  Mind you, it’s a church and not a cathedral.  The pastor joked about reading it called that in the local paper, and remarked, “I missed the part when they made me a bishop…”

            I went to school here from first grade until fall semester (1978) of fifth grade, as did my brother.  At the time we left for Paris, January 1979, my sister was too young for school.  The first and second grade building is now closed up and used for storage.  The third through eighth grade building is completely gone, replaced by a different one.  Now my memories of recess and playing at the school are receding into oblivion, but I can remember the church, its basement, the school buildings, and the rectory across the street with its large field in front.  When I passed by they were selling Christmas trees on that lot.

10.        Corner with Montgomery Village Ave.  The Holiday Inn is still there, as is Lakeforest Mall.  Gaitherstowne Square is still there too.  The A&P is now something else.  For that matter, the A&P in Fort Lee, NJ only recently turned into an ACME, as did the Pathmark in Edgewater.  I point this out because ACME doesn’t sell beer, but A&P did.  At least the one in Fort Lee.  GF would refer to it as “The A and the P”.

11         From Gaithersburg up through Germantown and most of the way to Frederick, as noted before, are incredibly rural, and at that point the memories drop off from the past.  By the time we were kids 270 (70-S) was in place, so our few trips north of Gaithersburg were on the highway.  Besides which, 355 had long since stopped being called Rockville Pike, i.e. Hungerford Drive north of downtown Rockville.

Enjoy it up and down, thankfully as Montgomery County’s main commercial road it is unlikely to disappear any time soon.

The University of Maryland

I’ve addressed Maryland itself in an earlier blog, but have yet to discuss its University, which is where I went for undergrad from Fall 1986 (F86) to Summer 1990 (SS90).

College Park.   UMCP is the flagship campus, located northeast of DC within the Beltway, straddling Route 1.   The campus is actually fairly large, and continues to grow.  The northeast section has a huge agricultural zone full of long barns, the kind you find at agricultural fairs.  My dad told me that UM was quite advanced in agricultural technology, something about breeding better Thanksgiving turkeys or juicier pigs.  Something like that. 

There’s also UM-Eastern Shore, UM-Baltimore Campus, UM-Baltimore County (Catonsville), and UM-University College.  UM-UC covers the overseas operations around the world, primarily on-base education at US military bases.  The Munich campus closed in 1992.  From what I understand, although California’s state university system dwarfs Maryland’s, excluding UM-UC, if you add in UM-UC, Maryland’s system exceeds California’s. 

History.  The campus began in 1856, with Morrill Hall as the oldest – and it looks it, almost “H.P. Lovecraft Hall”.  It turned into Maryland Agricultural College (MAC), with mandatory ROTC, until it finally renamed University of Maryland in 1920. 

Majors.  I started out as a government & politics (GVPT) major, with most of my classes in LeFrak Hall.  By sophomore year I realized that business and government complemented each other, so I added a second curriculum of general business (BMGT) to get a second degree, for 156 credits in 4 years.  To do this I had to take summer courses after sophomore year (1988) and two more courses after spring semester of senior year (1990), but still managed to do it, so I could start law school in Fall 1990 at George Mason.  I actually applied for the University of Maryland law school, but was not accepted.  My diplomas, a B.A. in GVPT and B.S. in BMGT, are dated August 1990, with the commencement ceremony in December 1990.

Dorms.  The UCMP campus has 9 high rise dorms (plus 2 low-rise), of which I was in Hagerstown Hall for my freshman year (F86/S87).   The North Hill dorms were somewhat run down when I was there; I knew people in Somerset Hall, and a friend of mine – not an asshole – lived in Wicomico Hall.   I moved to Talbot Hall for sophomore year (F87/S88) and fall of junior year (F88), then to Montgomery Hall (South Hill) for spring (S89) and senior year (F89/S90).   Plus there are Old Leonardtown and New Leonardtown apartments on the other side of Route 1, just behind Frat Row.  I stayed in New Leonardtown during summer school, SS I&II 1988, and SSI in 1990.   As you can see from the pictures, the campus is sprawled out and very attractive.  Brief bits of “National Treasure II” (the Quad) and “St Elmo’s Fire” (Frat Row) are filmed at UMCP. 

Sophomore and junior years meant 4 different roommates, all 4 being unpleasant experiences.  Freshman year was Mike, who was fine; and senior year I had a huge single, in a suite with a bunch of guys I got along with fine.  Aside from Gene and I, they were all Theta Chi brothers (Gene, where are you?).  By the way, my brother also went to UMCP, a year behind me, and during my senior year – his junior year – he was also in Montgomery Hall, in the middle section.  My sister went to UM, had to drop out when she and her first husband moved to Arizona, and came back later and finished that off.  So our family has no less than three UMCP graduates.

Terps.  Our mascot, technically the Terrapins (a small aquatic turtle which no one fears) and personified by Testudo at sports events.  UMCP won the NCAA basketball tournament in 2002.  Neil O’Donnell was our QB while I was there, before going on to the Steelers.  Someone said our lacrosse program was supposed to be good.  I have no clue.  We were in the Atlantic Coast Conference, competing with UVA, WVU, Wake Forest, UNC, NC State, Duke, and Clemson, but now we’re in the BIG 10, a group I’ve ignored because until recently, UM was not part of it.  I can’t say I follow Maryland that zealously – if there’s a game on a TV at the gym I’ll pay attention. 

In all the time I was at UM living on campus, I maybe went to two football games at Byrd Stadium and one basketball game at Cole Field House – my usual reason for visiting either was to jog (Cole) or get horribly sunburned (Byrd Stadium).  Richie Coliseum was where we saw concerts:  Black Sabbath in 1994, and Megadeth earlier. 

Diamondback.  The school newspaper.  I remember the comics:  Clyde (Al Via), Pat Schaefer, plus the overindulgent Eric Dunn & his “aren’t I cool?” crap.  After I graduated Aaron McGruder started off his own strip which later became The Boondocks.  And there were our competing editorialists, Eron Shosteck (the GOP point of view, somewhat of a minority at uber-liberal UMCP, where you could fit the College Republicans in one room), and Dave Bitet, giving us the Opposition perspective, since the White House was in Republican hands during my time at UMCP – 1986-1990, i.e. Ronald Reagan and then George H.W. Bush, the father of the none-too-popular George W. Bush and his politically flailing brother Jeb. 

Alumni.  Jim Henson (Muppet guy) is the most famous.  I suppose Larry David (Seinfeld & Curb Your Enthusiasm) is #2, followed by the guy who wrote The Wire (David Simon).  Carly Fiorina, Connie Chung, and Oprah’s friend Gayle, are also UMCP alumni.  

Baltimore

I covered Baltimore before, briefly, in my Maryland blog (6/25/10), but if Hagerstown and Frederick deserve their own blogs, why not Baltimore?

It’s the biggest city in Maryland, located 30 minutes northeast of DC on 95, Route 1, and the Baltimore-Washington Parkway.  On my trips to NJ/NY, Baltimore winds up being right around the 1 hour mark of a four hour drive, the quarter mark, so to speak.  It has its own beltway, 695, which I’ve been around mainly to get to Towson.  Not one but two tunnels, Harbor and Fort McHenry, provide a bypass for traffic going to or from DC to NY.

 

Most recently I saw Clutch at the Shindig Festival at Carroll Park, which is over in western Baltimore near where the Montgomery Park building is; another Clutch show, back last July, put me up Charles Street to another part of town for the free Artscape Festival.   Baltimore is a city I learn by bits and pieces, as I’ve never lived or worked there.  Mainly it’s been concerts at Hammerjacks (ages ago) and the Ram’s Head Live in the downtown area (again, thanks to Clutch), or less often legal work.   The Circuit Court building is ancient – turn of the century style – and the downtown area features in “Die Hard 4”, masquerading, highly unsuccessfully, as Washington DC.   No one who has ever been to either city, much less both, would ever mistake one for the other.  “And Justice For All…” is another legal drama in Baltimore.  The other city Baltimore reminds me of, due to the heavy dose of monuments and fancy nineteenth century buildings, is Richmond, Virginia.

History.  Founded in 1729 as a town, named after Lord Baltimore (note: the band Sir Lord Baltimore are actually from Brooklyn, New York), it became a city in 1796 and incorporated in 1851.  It’s the site of Fort McHenry, the subject of Francis Scott Key’s famous song, “The Star Bangled Banner,” which of course is our poorly-sung national anthem.  Notable B-moreans are Edgar Allen Poe and H.L. Mencken.   The city boomed after the Baltimore & Ohio Railroad opened in 1835.  During the Civil War a few riots persuaded the US to occupy the town.  I remember in school some of the more pedantic jerks used to snivel about George Washington not being the first President, facetiously citing several prior Presidents of the Continental Congress (or Congreff, as Woody might say), which was the provisional US government from 1773 to 1789.  Likewise, from December 1776 to February 1777, it was the capital of Bourgeois Revolutionary Soviet of America, as I like to call it. 

It suffered a fire in 1904, and riots in the Civil War, 1877, and 1968.  The Inner Harbor area, probably the nicest and most upscale neighborhood – where I’ve been on dates – was refurbished in the early 80s.  The city still has its share of crappy neighborhoods.  There’s a red light district close to Ram’s Head Live.  The harbor itself is fairly large – so much so that two tunnels have to bring traffic under it.

Which leads to my question:  why are there TWO tunnels?  The Harbor Tunnel opened in 1957; this is the tunnel I remember our family going through on trips to NYC and Long Island in the 1970s.   Apparently this wasn’t enough (though I don’t remember heavy traffic in the Harbor Tunnel), so they tied up 95 with the Fort McHenry Tunnel in 1985.  After that they renovated the Harbor Tunnel and opened it up again in 1990.  The Harbor Tunnel is fed by the 895 bypass, which hooks up to 95 at either end.  To me they’re pretty much the same, but I usually wind up taking the Harbor Tunnel by default and the Fort McHenry Tunnel just out of sheer boredom and variety.

National Bohemian is the city’s beer, although it’s not brewed in Baltimore anymore (NC and GA).  It’s now owned by, and tastes like, Pabst (which earned its Blue Ribbon at the Chicago World’s Fair in 1893).  It’s called Natty Bo and has a one-eyed, mustachio’d mascot, Mr. Boh…who is rather distinctive even if the beer itself isn’t.

Sports.  The Cleveland Browns relocated in 1996 and became the Baltimore Ravens, an obvious tribute to Edgar Allen Poe.   They won the Super Bowl last year against the 49ers, and back in 2000 against the NY Giants:  Ray Lewis was on both teams.  The Colts relocated to Indianapolis in 1984, having started up in Baltimore in 1951.  The Colts beat the Cowboys in 1971, after having lost to the upstart Jets (led by Joe Namath) in 1969.  The baseball team, the Orioles, date from 1954 and won the World Series in 1967, 1970, and 1983.  I've passed by Camden Yards countless times but have never been to an Orioles game; the same with passing M&T Bank Stadium and never seeing the Ravens play.

Poe.   Seeing as they didn’t reference Mencken when renaming the Browns, I’d say Poe is more important to Baltimore then H.L.  Frank Zappa was born and grew up in Baltimore – I saw Zappa Play Zappa at a “rename a Baltimore city street after the musician” free festival – but moved to L.A. with his family in 1952 when he was 12 years old.  Poe himself had a rocky life and moved several times, living in Baltimore several times before dying there in 1849.  No other city – not Richmond, not Boston – seems to lay as much claim to him as Baltimore does.  

Hagerstown, Maryland

I had a divorce case in Washington County, Maryland, this morning and had to go to the county seat, Hagerstown, for the hearing.  There’s something odd about this village.

The city is 30 minutes west of Frederick on US 70.  My first trip there was December 2004 when my father suffered a stroke.  A chapter 7 bankruptcy hearing, a minor traffic case, and now this divorce – all work-related issues - were the only reasons to go back there again.

US70 west of Frederick passes some incredibly scenic areas.  Huge valleys open up and you can see for miles on end; unfortunately that part of the drive lacks a “scenic view” stop, so you have to take in the view as you drive.  I can’t say it’s “breathtaking” (e.g. Elaine Benes or ugly baby) as I suffered no respiratory lapses due to the view.  But it’s nice to see, which isn’t something you can usually say about a drive on an interstate.

The town itself is fairly small and OLD.  Very few buildings appear to be newer than the 1960s, and the majority seems to date from the Civil War or turn of the century.

History.  Founded in 1762 by Jonathan Hager as Elizabethtown, renamed Hagerstown in his honor in 1813.  As it was not only a road and railroad hub but on the way from the Shenandoah Valley to Gettysburg, the city was a frequent target during the Civil War.

Many towns in the US date from well before the Civil War, but in most cases the “downtown” area has been developed and surrounded by so many later buildings that the CW era portion is practically nonrecognizable.  NYC is a clear example of this:  the Wall Street district, despite its irregular streets, is mostly modern skyscrapers, e.g. the World Trade Center.  DC, Boston, and Philadelphia are the same.  I couldn’t identify an “old town” Los Angeles, apart from some residential neighborhoods north of Wilshire Blvd. which obviously date from the 1920s. When the filmmakers made “The Last Samurai” (Tom Cruise movie) which takes place in Yokohama, they had to literally recreate the 19^th century Yokohama on a set, because modern-day Yokohama was far too developed and modern.

So the challenge becomes to find the city which is the least changed from its 19^th century format.  Paris, France, actually is a good example of this, as even the Eiffel Tower is an 1889 addition, with very few modern elements:  the Pompidou Centre and the Tour Montparnasse.   Richmond (Virginia!) also comes close to this, but its Broad Street still has a fair amount of new, big buildings; that’s another city which I’d like to visit at my leisure, but so far I’ve only been there on business and pressed for time to return home.

What makes Hagerstown unique is that the old part of town is largely unmolested and sits by itself in the valley.  You don’t have to drive though a modern city to find it, you drive up Route 40 and...there it is, the OLD, NAKED, CITY.  Voila. 

The Renaissance Fair

Last weekend I went to the Maryland Renaissance Festival for what must have been the third time.  As always, I had a good time, especially since the weather was spectacular and the crowds were cooperative – not excessive, and entertaining in their own, sometimes unintentional, manner.

 Renaissance.  This would merit its own blog entry, but I’ll keep it brief.  This is essentially a European thing.  Literally “rebirth”, it marks a major change in European history, when the Catholic Church lost its iron grip on the continent, allowing science and reason became predominant.  It was political writers of this era, particularly John Locke, who inspired the Founding Fathers to reject the divine right of King George III to rule the colonies and rebel against English rule and start up a brand new republic which we know of today as the United States.  The Renaissance began roughly around the 15^th century and continued until the Industrial Revolution in the early 19^th century.

 Maryland’s RennFair is in Crownsville, right outside Annapolis, at a permanent site, designed to resemble a 16^th century English village, Revel Grove.  The fair has been held annually in the late summer, early fall, since 1977.

 There are a few “free” events:  sword swallowers, jugglers, and acrobats, even short parodies of Shakespeare plays; by now I’d imagine his material is public domain.  The most famous exhibition is the joust, which I saw a few years ago:  a pair of fully armored knights on horseback charging at each other in lanes facing each other, attempting to knock each other off their horses with huge lances (presumably this variety is not fatal). 

 But 80% of the “spectacles” are vendors selling a variety of Renaissance themed items.  The huge turkey legs – which we commonly imagine Henry VIII gnawing upon – are here, and they sell mead, which seems to taste like a cross between beer and cider.  Other vendors sell clothing, jewelry, glass, honey, hats, walking sticks, magic wands (a la Harry Potter), swords (wooden mock swords and real steel ones), armor, armored lingerie (!!!), woodprints and maps, even furniture.  In fact, the event might be more accurately described as a Renaissance Mall, since the “we’ll sell you stuff” element is about 90% of the festival and only 10% is actually free (net of the admission fee for the fair itself, of course).   A few years ago I rode on an elephant, which has a huge platform on top and wallows around a small circle slowly; it’s not very comfortable as you sit with your legs spread wide apart.  It was interesting enough for one shot, but not worth doing more than once – especially since it’s not free and has a long line anyway.

 Costumes.  About 50% of the festival attendees – leaving aside the park employees themselves – seem to come in costume.  Jack Sparrow, a popular character, was absent this year, as was Henry VIII.  Kilts are very popular – “yes, I’m Braveheart!”  Some doofuses wore top hats to complement costumes which were otherwise mostly correct; they seem to be less concerned with being authentic and more concerned with looking cool.  I see very few people dressed as peasants; the affair is 95% “chiefs” (kings, queens, princes, nobles) and 5% of the 99% (Mitt Romney was absent).  Vikings, Picts, and Ravens fans are also common.   I don’t see many “Crusaders”, and have never seen a Saracen.  If you’re of Japanese descent, perhaps a samurai or geisha would be the appropriate costume.  Women seem to love dressing up as much as men do, particularly to wear provocative bodices pushing their boobs up and almost out.  Buxom wenches, I presume.  A meat market?   The Society for Consenting Adults?  Overall, the Food Court Druid brigade is well represented at the fair.  And fortunately the Black Plague (as mentioned earlier), while a completely period-appropriate ingredient, is absent from the Fair.  Best to focus the positive, I would say.

 Opie & Anthony.  Years ago, when they were still on regular non-satellite radio, this pair described their visit to the NY area fair (perhaps the one in Tuxedo).  Opie talked about being in line for mead or a turkey leg, and the vendor – dressed in costume – broke character and recognized him.  “Mead for m’lord or lady, as you wish – HEY, OPIE, MAN!  I love your show!”  

Frederick vs. Fredericksburg

[Revised on 10/26/21]

I’ve actually had a fair amount of experience in both cities, which are not too far away from each other in distance as well as spelling (I can’t comment on Harrisburg, PA vs. Harrisonburg, VA).  They both have Civil War angles.

 Frederick, Maryland.  By modern, contemporary internal combustion engine motor car traveling northwest from DC by 270, this town is approximately 1 hour, with Gaithersburg as an approximate halfway point.  It is the second largest city in Maryland, after Baltimore, which tells you how small Annapolis is.  270 comes up from the southeast, then splits to 70 west to Hagerstown (and eventually to California) and east to Baltimore, 15 north to Gettysburg, PA, and south to Leesburg, VA, and 340, which goes down to Harper’s Ferry, West Virginia – so it’s very much a centerpoint.

            I recall when we were children, still living in Montgomery County, MD, before our big move to France in January 1979, our parents would take us to Frederick occasionally, mainly Frederick Mall, which had a “Time Out” (video arcade).  I’ve been back to that mall, which is pretty small, not particularly upscale (they have a NASCAR store and a beauty supply store) and set up on a cross format.  As of 2021 the mall seems to be closed, but Francis Scott Key Mall is still there. 

            The Civil War angle is two battlefields: Monocacy and Antietam, of which the latter is a crucial battle in 1862:  McClellan’s rare victory against Lee’s early incursion into Maryland persuaded Britain & France not to recognize the Confederacy, sealing its eventual doom.  In Turtledove’s timeline, Lee manages to smash McClellan at Camp Hill, PA, and the Confederacy wins the Civil War.  Monocacy is a battle dating from 1864, in which Lee attempted to draw off Union forces from their attack on Richmond by a CSA excursion up into Maryland which could threaten either Baltimore or Washington.  But Union commander Lew "Ben Hur" Wallace managed to delay the Confederate advance by a day, giving the Union enough time to reinforce Washington, which made the excursion pointless - and thus Monocacy was a Union victory.  What passes for what remains of the battlefield straddles 355 as it runs up to Frederick, a series of markers and a Second Empire House.  My brother and I visited the battlefield recently with our high school comrade John, another excellent meeting with him.  

            Frederick has a large supply of old houses and buildings dating from the Civil War and earlier, but not nearly as run down as Winchester.  The downtown district is very nice, including Evil Tower Park, a pedestrian river zone, and even Cafe 611, a club where I've seen a few stoner rock shows including, but not limited to, Corrosion of Conformity.  back in 2007 I saw Blue Cheer at Krug's Place, getting my picture taken with Dickie Peterson (Facebook profile picture of me and him, RIP).  

            In 2003 or so, my parents sold the three-level single-family house we grew up in, in Montgomery Village, and moved to a similar sized apartment in Frederick.  This forced us to drive another half hour northwest to visit them and more to the point, instead of being in Montgomery Village, where we grew up, we’d be in Frederick, of which we had the merest memories (as noted above).  However, Frederick is not a bad place, and we’ve yet to exhaust its potential.

 Fredericksburg, Virginia.  Many confuse the Maryland town I just mentioned with this city, more or less due south of Washington and half way between Washington and Richmond, right off 95.  Unlike Frederick, which has no river (judging by all the water towers, it must be sitting on an impressive network of natural springs) Fredericksburg sits on the Rappahannock.  The rivers in Virginia all seem to run from the mountains in the northwest (West Virginia) southeast to the Atlantic Ocean, and the Rappahannock is no exception. 

            The Civil War angle:  various battles at the city itself and around it, as Union forces attempted to batter their way down to Richmond. 

            Ages ago, probably the early 90s, my best friend’s sister Kathy briefly went to Mary Washington College (now University), which is located in Fredericksburg.  However, our treks here were solely to either move her in, or move her out, and we didn’t venture forth into the old town itself.

            Later on, back in 1997-98, my car was being repainted – color change from blue-green to black – at a body shop in Falmouth, which is south Stafford, on the north bank of the Rappahannock across from Fredericksburg.  Tim, the painter dude, and I would sometimes go into Fredericksburg and have a beer at some of the taverns in the old town.  However, as with Frederick, this is a town whose antique charm and sights have yet to be fully explored by yours truly, another task to accomplish when surplus time allows.

             I had my 76 Firebird in an outdoor lot at Falmouth for some time before bringing it back up here.  

 Finally, I have driven from Frederick to Fredericksburg (or rather, Richmond); the trip from Frederick to Richmond is 3 hours.