The Last Kings of France

A weird confluence yet occurs.  I had been planning on posting this last week, yet the Caps’ Stanley Cup victory over the Las Vegas Golden Knights was a more pertinent and timely subject, whereas French kings who haven’t reigned since 1848 were somewhat less so.  Then, in the interim, Netflix saw fit to send me Disc 2 of Season 2 of PBS Masterpiece Victoria, featuring the improbably babacious Jenna Coleman as the young Queen Victoria.  Episode 2 of this set chronicled the Queen’s quest to France to persuade French king Louis Phillippe not to marry his son to the Spanish queen.  Victoria reigned from 1837 to 1901, LP from 1830 to 1848, so the period 1837-1848 was an overlapping period.  Given that this segment takes place around the time of the conception of her third child, Alice, born April 1843, it must have been summer of 1842. 

Louis Phillippe was played by Bruno Wolkovich, but he looked a bit like Bryan Cranston.  No matter how faithfully the man portrays LBJ or other characters, I will always fondly think of him as Walter White.  “England is not the danger.  I AM THE DANGER”.  Anyhow.  I would hope more substantial elements of my own life fitted together as conveniently as Netflix rentals and blog entries, but that’s a matter for me to take up with the Man Upstairs on my usual Sunday visits to the area’s Catholic churches. 

In addition, I’ve been reading Les Miserables (in English) and it’s been dredging up the July 1830 Revolution. This was the three day trouble which evicted Charles X and put in Louis Phillippe.  At the same time I wondered whatever happened to Louis XVII.  Thanks to Wikipedia, here we go again…

Louis XVI.   Supporter of our cause of independence, L16 had the bad luck to be King when the Shit Went Down in 1789.  However, it wasn’t until January 21, 1793 that he met the Guillotine in the Place de la Concorde in Paris. 

Louis XVII.   Knowing about L16 and L18, I always wondered why there was no L17.  It was because although he existed, he never reigned as king.  Born in 1785, he was 4 years old when the revolution broke out in 1789 and 8 when his father was executed.  By that time he was kept under guard nonstop and generally mistreated.  He died of tuberculosis in 1795 at age 10, most likely due to being kept in unsanitary conditions.  Usually we think of princes and princesses leading lives of utmost comfort, being spoiled and told they’re gods, etc., but in his particular case he had the misfortune of growing up during a revolution, among some pretty rough characters who really disliked the royalty.  We don’t even know what he would have been like as king.  Truly tragic.

Anyhow.

Louis XVIII (1814-1824).  L16 had two sons, but both of them died before they could actually take the throne.  L18 was L16’s younger brother and next in line by French rules of succession.  L16 was deposed by the Revolution, which was followed by the First Republic, then the First Empire (Napoleon), finally winding down with Napoleon’s first defeat in 1814.  L18 had fled France and bounced around from various palaces until 1814, when he came back to Paris with the victorious Allied armies which had defeated Napoleon.  The Allies wanted France to be a constitutional monarchy and found L18 an acceptable candidate, as well as the actual heir to throne, so they installed him.  Aside from Napoleon’s 100 day return with its dramatic conclusion at Waterloo, after which Napoleon was more securely detained, L18 was the king from 1814 to 1824. 

He served without much drama or problem until his death in 1824.  He never got along with his wife – mutual disgust – and had no children.  He wasn’t particularly brilliant or skillful and had no notable redeeming qualities, so as a monarch he was somewhat mediocre.  Having said that, mainly Louis XVIII’s job was to manage France so it neither invaded Europe again nor collapsed into chaos, and as such he did it properly.  He was the last French king whose reign ended with his death.

Charles X (1824-1830).   L18 died in 1824 without children, so his younger brother Chuck – also L16’s brother - took over at that time.  His most notable accomplishment was beginning the French invasion of Algeria, though that didn’t become complete until 1875.  He didn’t seem to have much in the way of people skills or political savvy, so by 1830 he pissed everyone off enough to cause the Three Days of July (27, 28, and 29), referred to in Les Miserables.   He was forced to abdicate and his cousin, Louis Phillippe, took over as a constitutional monarch.

By the way.   I’ve been to Place de la Bastille and seen the July Column.  All I knew about it is that it stood where the infamous prison had been.  Long before Haussmann & his boss Napoleon III expanded the city to its current 20 arrondissement size in the 1860s, the inner rim of arrondissements would place Bastille at the southeast edge of the city limits, straddling numbers 4, 11, and 12.  The prison was demolished, replaced first by a fountain (1793-1813) then by a huge plaster elephant, described in Les Miserables.  That stood until 1846.  LP had the July Column erected in 1840, meaning that between 1840 and 1846 both the column and the elephant were there.  Set the Delorean for 1843…. 

Louis Phillippe (1830-1848).   When I lived in Paris, I was oblivious to this man.  When I returned last fall to Paris, I recognized him at Versailles and the Louvre – in paintings, not in person (our personal encounter at the Louvre was none other than Madame Macron herself, France’s First Lady).  He took over from C10 and lasted until another revolution, the famous 1848 revolutions which sprung up around Europe, the Communist Manifesto being released at that time.  He’s got the mutton chops, huge belly, and fancy pants of the mid-1800s – a French version of the famous John Bull personification of England.

He was a colonel in the French army in the early revolutionary period, apparently of strong bravery and good skill.  Bravo!  But during the Terror (1793) he had to flee overseas.  Thus began the Louis Phillippe Tour:  Switzerland, Germany, Scandinavia, Finland, then a 4 year US tour including Philadelphia, NYC, Boston, and meeting A’Ham and G’Wash.  Then off for a brief Cuban jaunt, followed by 15 years in England from 1800 to 1815.  With his cousin L18 on the throne he would have been safe to return to France again. 

With the July Revolution of 1830, LP took the throne.  He tried to be unpretentious and humble, but he identified too much with the bourgeois, and his policies favored them over the poor.  Ultimately France was caught up in the same revolutionary fervor of 1848 which swept across Europe, with socialism and communism finally expressly articulated in Marx’s Communist Manifesto.   He discreetly abdicated and moved to England to finish off his life in peace – having survived no less than seven assassination attempts during his reign. 

For those of you more intrigued, by all means check out Episode 5 of Season 2 of PBS Masterpiece Victoria, which should give you a nice show of interaction between Queen Victoria and Louis Phillippe.  Nothing that would make Prince Albert jealous, however…

Hockey

I had been planning to discuss the last Kings of France, but when the Capitals won the Stanley Cup Finals in game 5 against the Vegas Golden Knights last night, I decided this topic was more timely.   Those of you sitting on the edge of your seats dying to know about Louis XVIII, Charles X, and Louis Phillippe, will have to wait a week.  Hockey was not a big thing in France from 1814 to 1848.  Sorry.

Despite being from the DC area, I’ve never been much of a Capitals fan.  They’re affectionately known as the Caps.  I’d suppose they might be referred to as the Craps in Las Vegas, were it not that this word means something quite different in that city due to its main source of income.   

They share the same venue, the Verizon Center, as the basketball team, the Wizards.  That team was formerly known as the Bullets, until the crybabies whined that the name was a sad reflection on DC’s unsuccessful experiment with gun control.  I’d have renamed them the 9mm Jacketed Hollowpoints, but no one asked me. How many people died in DC because the basketball team was named the Bullets?  How much magic has occurred in DC since they renamed the team?  Zero on both counts.  Anyhow. 

I’ve been two a total of TWO hockey games in my life.  In the late 70s, a group of my young male colleagues were treated to a game at the Capital Centre in Largo, Maryland, between the Caps and the now-deceased Colorado Rockies.  I can’t remember who won the game, but I recall being modestly entertained.   Since we moved to Paris soon thereafter, any interest in seeing hockey in person would have been curtailed by its absence in Paris. 

The second game was in March 1991 when I was visiting my high school buddy Sean in Ottawa, Canada.  He correctly ascertained that a visit – however brief as a weekend, as mine was – would not be complete without a hockey game.  We watched – and enjoyed – a game between the Ottawa ‘67’s and the Sudbury Wolves.   As enjoyable as the experience was, it did not compel me to see any further games of any teams.   Then again, my most likely reason to visit a hockey arena is to see a band play, not watch a hockey game.

What I know.  This will be brief.

1.         It takes place on ice, in a venue which probably also holds basketball games.  Not at the same time (though that might be more entertaining).

2.         It began in Canada in the late 1800s.  The NHL began in 1917, but the NHL had its major expansion in the late 1960s.  Up to that point it was essentially six teams:  the Montreal Canadiens, the Toronto Maple Leafs, the Boston Bruins, the Chicago Black Hawks, the Detroit Red Wings, and the New York Rangers.   All of Toronto's championships date from this era.    

3.         Like basketball, and unlike football and baseball, there’s no real offense and defense, those switch with whoever has possession of the puck.

4.         The goal is to hit the puck into the opposing goal past the goalie.

5.         Trophy.  It’s big and tapers down to a large base.   Joe Elliott learned this the hard way, but we all know what a major hockey team Sheffield United is, right? 

6.         Goalie.  He wears a mask, so he looks like Jason from Friday the Thirteenth. 

7.         Penalty box.  Generally the sport is fairly brutal (“I was at a bar and a hockey game broke out”).  If you are TOO brutal you wind up in the penalty box for some time, meaning your team is now down by one player.

8.         Finals.  Best of 7.   Probably a reason I’m not a fan – I prefer this one-and-done stuff like the NFL playoffs and Superb Bowl, where every game is effectively game 7.

9.         Canada is the country most associated with hockey, but competitive players come from Russia and Eastern Europe as well.  There was a player named Satan, which I found amusing. 

10.        The Miracle on Ice.  The US is typically not competitive in Olympic Hockey.   Oddly, despite 5 World Cup victories, Brazil has ZERO gold medals in Olympic soccer.  Anyhow.  In 1980, at the Winter Games in Lake Placid, NY (we had boycotted the Summer Games in Moscow) we managed to beat the Soviet team and win the gold medal.  And there was much rejoicing. 

I realize there is a certain amount of subtlety to any sport where you have to skate on ice, but so far as I can tell, ultimately hockey is still about smacking the puck into the opposing goal, which you do skating on ice and knocking your opponent out of the way without being sent to the penalty box.    

Eddie Murphy

Recently, the criminal action against Bill Cosby reached a verdict:  guilty of sexual assault.  And this is apparently not the first or only victim.  As yet he has not been sentenced, but that hearing will be coming up soon enough.   So we’ve moved beyond mere allegations to an actual conviction by a Pennsylvania jury. 

This reminded me of Eddie Murphy’s earlier comedy routine in which he made fun of Cosby chastising him for using foul language in his comedy act (Raw, 1987).   This is the one which starts with Murphy (as Cosby) declaring that, "I would like to talk to YOUUU [dramatic pause] about the things that you say [another dramatic pause] in your show."  To date, Murphy’s only crime has been an accusation, which fell short of a criminal act, much less a conviction, of picking up a transvestite, Shalimar Seluli, in 1997.  Murphy’s story is that he was only giving the person a ride.  Given his history of heterosexual relationships and no other accusations of similar behavior, I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. Think of him as an unsuccessful Uber pioneer.

According to deposition transcripts of civil actions against Cosby for similar behavior, this pattern of behavior goes back to the 1970s.  So it was going on when Cosby criticized Murphy.  SMH.

Anyhow.  I still consider myself a big fan of Eddie Murphy even though his more recent track record of performances has been less than it was back in the 80s, when he was at his peak. 

Basics.  Born in Brooklyn and grew up on Long Island.  Consider him a New Yorker.  Amen.

Saturday Night Live.  He was on the show from 1980 to 1984 and among its best stars at the time.  His major characters were Buckwheat (“O-tay!”), Gumby, and Velvet Jones.   I’m ambivalent about SNL.  I’d say the quality of the actors generally exceeds the quality of the writing, and Eddie Murphy is no exception.

48 Hours.  His first major role, while he was still on SNL.  He and Nick Nolte try to track down a criminal (James Remar).  Entertaining and worth watching. 

Beverly Hills Cop.  Now there are three, with a fourth due out.  His character is from Detroit but goes to L.A. to solve crimes, assisted by the uptight locals, Judge Reinhold being the more amusing of the two.  Serge was also funny.  I’m not as much a fan of the films as others might be, but I still like them.

Trading Places & Coming to America.  These are my two favorites.  In “Trading Places” he teams up with SNL comrade Dan Aykroyd and Jamie Lee Curtis to take down the Duke Brothers.  In “Coming to America” he teams up with Arsenio Hall to find a suitable bride to be his queen.  Where?  In Queens, of course. 

Stand-up.  I never had the pleasure of attending his shows and being stunned speechless by his bad language, but two of them made it to high quality performances caught on VHS/DVD:  Raw (1987) and Delirious (1983). 

Shrek.   Although his more recent films have been poorly received – though I haven’t seen the “Dr Doolittle” ones – he’s been stellar as Donkey in the “Shrek” films.  Hell, l like Donkey far more than Shrek (who, let's face it, is essentially just a big green asshole), and I’m sure many others feel the same way.

Dreamgirls.  I saw this once and forgot about it.  He actually has a dramatic role he does extremely well, similar to Adam Sandler’s performance in “Spanglish”.   Worth checking out for him alone, though his character is second tier in terms of importance.

Vs. Richard Pryor.   Murphy cites Pryor as a major influence.  For that matter, he also cites Cosby.  As for Pryor, I’ve never been a fan of his and don’t really care for any of his comedy or movies.  He seemed more mean spirited than funny.  I will make one exception and strong recommendation, though:  check out “California Suite” (1978), which has him teamed up against Bill Cosby.  While there are plenty of other stellar teamups in this film, e.g. Maggie Smith (Professor McGonegall from “Harry Potter”) & Michael Caine, Jane Fonda & Alan Alda,  Walter Matthau & Denise Galik, I thought the Cosby vs. Pryor matchup was the funniest.   

Cheese

Ok, enough about music and movies.  How about a truly breathtaking, utterly earthshaking and important topic, around which all our lives revolve? 

Cheese.

Here are my thoughts.

Swiss.   The holes are interesting.  But the cheese isn’t.  Too bland, not enough flavor.

Parmesan.   Excellent on pasta.  What I like is that I can go into one of these upscale supermarkets, pick up a brick of this stuff, and smell it.  MMMM.  And then go buy the green Kraft can.

Cheddar & White Cheddar.   Among my favorites.  The funny thing is that I associate cheddar with Cracker Barrel and the US, but I’ve found cheddar in France.   I guess the French like all sorts of cheese.

Pepper Jack.   Whether it’s jalapenos or habaneros (my favorite), this is becoming even more my favorite.  If I find a stick of habanero jack I’ll buy up the stock right there.  Now I'm seeing it with ghost peppers as well. 

Pizza & Mozzarella.   Of course pizza is my favorite food, and mozzarella seems almost uniquely suited to pizza.  Up in Belgium, the Raymond Hotel had a weird mozzarella pizza we’ve never had anywhere else.  AAFES chef, what is your recipe?   Share with the world!

Weird Smelly Soft Shit.   Camembert or the spreadable cheeses, anything fancy and pretentious I don’t care for.  Blah.

Provolone.  Almost exclusively on steak & cheese subs (Homer drooling).   For that matter, I don't care for "American" cheese, and really don't like it when subs use this cheese instead of provolone.  American cheese really is too bland for my liking.  

Cubes.  Rutters has these pepper jack cheese cubes in the small clear plastic box.  If I stop by there on my way up to NJ, I’ll try to score one of these.  Washed down with another Rutters exclusive, Canada Dry Black Cherry Wishniak.  I saw cubes at BJ’s, but only as a variety pack with regular cheddar and Swiss.  Nope, just pepper jack.

Cracker Barrel.  Probably the best brand.  Now they have presliced AND sticks.  Someone smart works there, thank God.

Thoughts on Women

Thinking.   So far as I can tell, men think in linear terms: A > B > C, 1 > 2 > 3.   Women think in non-linear terms:  A > bread > Friday.  We get in trouble for assuming the opposite sex thinks the same way we do.  They don’t.  And since we don’t think the same way we’re in a poor position to predict their behavior no matter how well we know them.  Certain trends based on familiarity are the best we can do.  Men seem to be better than women at acknowledging that this difference exists, but as noted we’re limited in our ability to compensate for it. 

Relative vs. GF/Wife.   I don’t recall ever having any major problems with my mom, sister, or any female relatives.   All of them treat me fairly and honestly.  Which is a sad and strong contrast to my experience with women in a romantic context.

I’ve really had three major relationships, with women I’ll identify as LC, GG, and LS.   Each of these had their ups and downs and the first two are over as romantic relationships, though I remain on friendly speaking terms with LC.  I won’t complain about any of them, though I will comment as I see fit.

Honesty & Consistency.  Consistency is sadly a concept I rarely see recognized or followed by women, particularly women in a romantic relationship.  The most egregious example was when I was with GG in Bucharest.  Her husband – who she was supposedly in the process of divorcing – apparently had a GF on the side back in Holland.  This pissed her off big time.  Mind you, she also had a French BF who she was living with before, AND a Romanian BF who was himself married.  In addition to me.  So for awhile she had FOUR different men at the same time.  Then again, I suppose I should mark her down as the extreme end of inconsistency.

For men, so far as I can tell, 5% are scrupulously honest:  they would tell the truth about literally anything, even if it meant going to prison or dying.  At the other extreme are 5% who are hopeless liars, lying about everything, even when the truth is actually more favorable than the lie.  In the middle are the 90% who are mostly honest but lie occasionally when it’s in their best interests to do so for compelling reasons, e.g. to avoid jail or being killed.  They apply this honesty to friends and relatives equally to GFs or wives.  Perhaps marginally less honest with strangers or adversaries.  

For women, that 5% scrupulously honest do not exist.  Nope.  I’d say women are almost scrupulously honest (95%) with their male relatives (brothers, fathers, sons, etc.) and fairly honest (70%) with their husbands or boyfriends.  With strangers and adversaries that number drops to below 50%.  

Sadly, the women I dealt with were not completely honest with me.  I’m not talking about times at which we might have been fighting, arguing, or on bad terms, either broken up or about to break up.  I mean at the peak time at which we were on best terms, intimate, in love, and considering marriage.  Even at those times I could not count on 100% honesty from these women.  To encounter incomplete honesty at the optimal points in the relationship is disconcerting. 

Notwithstanding the sad circumstances under which some of these relationships have ended, I still look upon all of them favorably.  April 2006 in Bucharest was fun.  Five trips to Rio de Janeiro were enjoyable.  Trips to L.A. (2010) and Paris (2017) were also enjoyable and unforgettable.  I will not complain.  However, I would warn my male readers to always use your brain and never let love turn it off.  And I also bring this up to admonish my female readers to critically examine their own behavior relative to their loved ones and not solely focus on whether their male companions are treating them fairly or honestly.  It’s a two way street.

Fu Manchu & Mos Generator

Yes, another concert entry, immediately after the THC one posted last week.  It’s not my practice to blog about literally every show I go to, unless I feel something special is worth noting, as I do here.  I have no prior blog on Fu Manchu in particular.

By the way – about the Sword show two days before at the Baltimore Soundstage.   This a band who are fairly competent and astute on streaming/MP3/CD/vinyl/8 track whatever, but their stage presence is borderline catatonic.  Lead singer John Cronise simply stands there and sings and plays his Firebird I, and the other band members likewise do little but play their instruments.  I would advise against seeing this band live.  By now I’ve seen them several times and they tend to put me to sleep.  The highlight of this show was running into a friend and suitemate I hadn’t seen since college at UMCP (1886-1890).

Two days later I caught Mos Generator (opening) and Fu Manchu (headliner).   MG are from Seattle and remarked that this is their first concert appearance in DC.   They’re a three piece, Tony Reed being the singer/guitarist.  He was wearing a Trapeze (Glenn Hughes) shirt, and had tattoos of Iron Maiden, Ace Frehley, Black Sabbath’s first album cover, and the King Crimson Court Face.  The remarkable thing about this is that I had an MG album, The Late Great Planet Earth, which I hadn’t listened to for some time.  I listened to it again with the show coming up and apparently had forgotten how good the band were.  They have a new album, Shadowlands, due out next week, from which they played a few songs.  The latest release is Abyssinia, also high quality.  This band approaches, if not exceeds, the quality of Fu Manchu.

The show was at the R’n’R Hotel on H Street in northeast DC.  It’s a small club with a rectangular standing-room only floor area, though upstairs (out of line of sight of the band) there are seats, a bar, and the concessions area.  I’m getting older (aren’t we all?) and standing for long periods of time is getting more tedious and less tolerable than it used to be.  Getting up close to the band is more apt to make the standing a bit easier.

Normally I write off the opening act as a band easily forgotten.  Not so here.   MG were high octane, heavy duty, and I actually liked them more than Fu Manchu.   By all means Czech them out.

FU MANCHU came on and were as happy and energetic as always.   Frontman/rhythm guitarist Scott Hill, the only constant member, thanked us all for coming out on a weeknight.  Lead guitarist Bob Balch and bassist Brad Davis were solid – I was on Davis’ side of the stage.  The drummer is Scott Reeder, NOT the left-handed bassist Scott Reeder.  Scott Hill is the only original member, but by now Balch and Davis have been with the band since the mid-90s, i.e. close to the beginning.  They know the material and appear to enjoy playing it.

Discography: (full studio albums): No One Rides For Free (1994), Daredevil (1995), In Search Of… (1996), The Action Is Go (1997), Eatin’ Dust (1999), King of the Road (2000) (my favorite), California Crossing (2001), Start The Machine (2004), We Must Obey (2007), Signs of Infinite Power (2009), Gigantoid (2014), and newest release Clone of the Universe, featuring Alex Lifeson of Rush on extended jam instrumental “Il Mostro Atomico” – the set closer though unfortunately Mr. Lifeson is apparently not participating in live performances of this song, notwithstanding his own band’s permanent retirement from touring.  Maybe he has Trailer Park Boys engagements to hono(u)r.    

I got into the band thanks to a former friend whose name rhymes with Ren, back around 2001.  Prior shows I had the pleasure to attend were:  DC, February & September 2002 (California Crossing tour); Baltimore, October 2004 (Start The Machine tour); Jaxx in Virginia, March 2007 (We Must Obey tour); DC, September 2010 (Signs of Infinite Power tour); DC, May 2014 (Gigantoid tour), and this most recent show.

Incidentally, very early on, 75% of Fu Manchu was Eddie Glass, Mark Abshire, and Ruben Romano – they left to form Nebula, who sound remarkably similar to Fu Manchu.   I managed to see that band in June 2001 (Mercury Lounge with Ren), in DC in March 2006, and DC again in August 2008.  After a lengthy hiatus it looks like Eddie has resurrected Nebula and is playing some shows in California.  Romano currently has a band called the Freeks.  Not only that, stoner god Brant Bjork was on several albums too.

I would say that FM are a bit more energetic onstage and clearly enjoy performing, particularly for crowds as appreciative as the RNR Hotel audience, including myself, were that night.   The other redeeming factor is that the band has a GROOVE, you know what I’m saying?  I found myself moving my head up and down rapidly, which has been an inclination absent as I’ve grown older and probably a bit more jaded about bands.  I was happy to regain that sensation yet again.

 

Setlist: Eatin’ Dust; Clone of the Universe; California Crossing; Weird Beard; Evil Eye; (I’ve Been) Hexed; Hell on Wheels; Mongoose; Dimension Shifter; Laserblast!; Nowhere Left To Hide; King of the Road (!!!), Il Mostro Atomico; encore: Godzilla (Blue Oyster Cult cover).   By now I’m zone out on “Godzilla”, even when BOC play it – which they do.  Consistently.  And they tour.  Consistently.  Anyhow.

Opening Acts.  As noted, usually they’re bands we don’t care about and don’t even bother to show up early enough to catch them.  However, for the following shows, we considered the opening act of equal importance to the headliner:  Accept (Dokken); Triumph (Yngwie Malmsteen); Clash of the Titans:  Anthrax, Megadeth & Slayer (Alice in Chains, back when Layne Staley was still in the band); Van Halen (Alice in Chains) (same deal, a year later); Kyuss Lives! (The Sword); Clutch (Orange Goblin); Corrosion of Conformity (Brant Bjork); and last night’s show.   On rare occasions we considered the opening act MORE important than the headliner:  Def Leppard (Tesla), Billy Squier (King’s X); Audiovent (Fu Manchu); Foreigner (Don Felder).  Of these, we stayed to watch Def Leppard and Foreigner. 

So it was a great night:  The Fu brought it, as they so often do, but the opening act was also top quality, not just a waste of time before the headliner.  For their sake, I hope Mos Generator reaches the level of becoming a headliner. 

Texas Hippie Coalition

Back in high school in Paris in the early 80s, I discovered heavy metal.  AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourne, Metallica, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, etc.   I’d also heard of this band called the Grateful Dead.

With a name like that, they had to be hardcore metal, right?  And all these album covers with skulls and roses, you know?  So I bought Reckoning, a double live acoustic album, and was …”HUH?”  A helpful friend, Sean C., observed that this material was in fact standard fare for the band and agreed to take this album off my hands.   Decades later, he still has the vinyl I gave him, and I replaced it with the CD version (with extra tracks).  Suffice to say that the Grateful Dead were not nearly as heavy as their name would imply.

Fast forward to 2018 and I found the opposite with regard to this band, Texas Hippie Coalition.  I suspect they wanted everyone to know they smoked weed and wanted a band name which fit tetrahydracannabinol (THC), which we all know is the active ingredient of marijuana and gives it the ability to make you stoned.  All well and fine, but while “Texas” and “coalition” don’t necessarily imply any particular type of music – except maybe ZZTop – “hippie” certainly implies the type of music hippies generally listen to, the #1 being…the Grateful Dead.   So with a name like that, the most obvious implication is that this is a jam band. 

Nope.  THC sound like Pantera mixed with Lynyrd Skynyrd.  They are definitely heavy and brutal.  Mind you, there is no law that says everyone who smokes MJ and listens to music has to listen to the same music.  Rappers love weed.  Deadheads love weed.  Floyd fans love weed.  And metal fans – particularly fans of so-called “stoner rock” (mostly highly influenced by Black Sabbath with about 25% Pink Floyd added in) – also love weed.  Not everyone, of course.  Plenty of us stoner rock fans are happy with a beer or two and don’t need a joint or bong to appreciate even songs like “Sweet Leaf”.  I enjoyed the THC show on Monday night with nothing more than a 16 oz Blue Moon consumed while the last opening act, Kobra and the Lotus, was playing.

Band Names.  While I’m on the topic…  THC is not the only band openly expressing its love for the weed.  Of course, Black Sabbath sang “Sweet Leaf”, pot leaves can be seen on the cover of Second Helping by Lynyrd Skynyrd, and of course many rappers like Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, and Cypress Hill are likewise open and notorious about their habits.  Many stoner rock bands make it a point to name themselves accordingly, such as Bongzilla, Weedeater, and my favorite (from Poland), Weedpecker.  The bands vary in how brazen they are about displaying the pot leaf – which itself is fairly distinctive and recognizable by now (and is NOT on Ohio State football helmets, by the way) – on their albums or t-shirts, Brant Bjork these days being the most so, competing with Wino in that regard.  This band’s pot leaf shirt is long sold out. 

As MJ legalization gains momentum I dare say we’ll see more of this.  Eventually I expect the straight edge crowd to follow suit to remind us that not everyone smokes weed.  (No, really?)  Anyhow.

Band. Their prior bassist, John Exall, left the band recently and was replaced by a left-handed guy un-named on the website and in the show, who did a remarkably good job of looking cool and getting the job done.  Whether he earned the right to remain in the band after the tour remains to be seen.  Drums are done by Timmy Braun, twin guitars by Nevada Romo and Cord Pool, and – last but not least - the vocals handled by the large, verbose and unmistakable “Big Dad Rich”, whose mike stand was a double-barreled shotgun.  Like AC/DC, this band has one member who vastly outshines the rest of the band, and BDR is definitely that guy.  In addition to his powerful singing voice and imposing stage presence by sheer mass alone, he loves to tell the audience about his prior career smuggling weed from Mexico and selling it in the US at a profit.

Discography.  Pride of Texas (2008), Rollin’ (2010), Peacemaker (2012), Ride On (2014), Dark Side of Black (2016).  Of these, I purchased the newest and listened to the prior albums on Spotify in reverse order.  Pride of Texas could be considered a de facto Pantera tribute album, released 8 years after Pantera themselves released their last album, Reinventing The Steel.  Mind you, THC made no secret of their love for Pantera, and as fellow Texas metalheads it’s hardly a surprise.   As the band developed the material gets a bit looser and groovier, leaving Pantera not far behind but at least no longer being a verbatim copy anymore.

The point of all this is because on Monday night, April 30, I caught the band live at the Baltimore Soundstage, a small club in downtown Baltimore just north of the Inner Harbor.  Of the three opening acts, I caught the last one, Kobra & the Lotus, essentially a heavy hair metal band with a leather-clad female singer who looks like Britney Spears as a Motley Crue fan. 

With time and money in finite supply, we can’t see every show we want, and usually we end up seeing bands we’ve seen already because we know we’ll enjoy the show.  But every now and then we see a band we’ve never seen before, like this one.  [I say “we” but in fact I saw the show alone.]

I got there a bit early, and before sundown, so I took the liberty of parking on the street and walking around.  Although I’d been to a few shows at the Soundstage before, at those times I arrived just in time for the show, already dark, and wasn’t able to relax and look around.  I briefly cruised through Buns & Nubile in the power plant building, complete with huge smokestacks – no longer active – rising up through the store and up through the roof.  I had dinner at Chipotle (not much different there).  I walked around the pier, which is parallel to where the Pier Six Pavilion is to the east.  I recalled a date back in September 2006 with an annoying Filipino woman – right here at this exact place.  Then once all the random and restless nonsense was out of my system and I calculated that the last opening act was due to go on, I returned to the venue and checked in.

Before a band goes on to play, particularly a headliner, the venue plays songs on the PA specially chosen by the band the prep the audience for the upcoming musical festivities.  These aren’t random songs.  Before Clutch went on at Terminal 5 in NYC in December 2015, a few days after Lemmy had died, they played Motorhead songs in tribute to the fallen Hawkwind bassist.  See next entry…

Clutch.  Oh, this is funny.  I was wearing my Clutch hoodie to the show.  Clutch are from Germantown, Maryland, and with KIX long off the radar, are probably the premiere rock band from Maryland at this time.  THC put the Clutch song “Spacegrass” on the PA before they took the stage.  This is the song that starts off slow and includes lyrics about “Galaxie 5 0 0” and “Jesus on the dashboard” (often deliberately misheard as “Jesus on the dance floor”).  You would think a Baltimore, Maryland crowd would react to Clutch – and this being one of their most popular songs and most commonly played live despite set lists changing every night - but I was the only one in the audience wearing Clutch gear and the only one who recognized the song, prompting a high five from the security guy at the side of the stage – the only other Clutch fan in this place.  Anyhow.

Live.   Big Dad sings.  Nevada and Cord play guitar.  Drummer drums, bassist basses, and Big Dad belts out the tunes and tells us about weed in Texas.  All highly entertaining and worth enjoying at least once in a lifetime.