Cheese

Ok, enough about music and movies.  How about a truly breathtaking, utterly earthshaking and important topic, around which all our lives revolve? 

Cheese.

Here are my thoughts.

Swiss.   The holes are interesting.  But the cheese isn’t.  Too bland, not enough flavor.

Parmesan.   Excellent on pasta.  What I like is that I can go into one of these upscale supermarkets, pick up a brick of this stuff, and smell it.  MMMM.  And then go buy the green Kraft can.

Cheddar & White Cheddar.   Among my favorites.  The funny thing is that I associate cheddar with Cracker Barrel and the US, but I’ve found cheddar in France.   I guess the French like all sorts of cheese.

Pepper Jack.   Whether it’s jalapenos or habaneros (my favorite), this is becoming even more my favorite.  If I find a stick of habanero jack I’ll buy up the stock right there.  Now I'm seeing it with ghost peppers as well. 

Pizza & Mozzarella.   Of course pizza is my favorite food, and mozzarella seems almost uniquely suited to pizza.  Up in Belgium, the Raymond Hotel had a weird mozzarella pizza we’ve never had anywhere else.  AAFES chef, what is your recipe?   Share with the world!

Weird Smelly Soft Shit.   Camembert or the spreadable cheeses, anything fancy and pretentious I don’t care for.  Blah.

Provolone.  Almost exclusively on steak & cheese subs (Homer drooling).   For that matter, I don't care for "American" cheese, and really don't like it when subs use this cheese instead of provolone.  American cheese really is too bland for my liking.  

Cubes.  Rutters has these pepper jack cheese cubes in the small clear plastic box.  If I stop by there on my way up to NJ, I’ll try to score one of these.  Washed down with another Rutters exclusive, Canada Dry Black Cherry Wishniak.  I saw cubes at BJ’s, but only as a variety pack with regular cheddar and Swiss.  Nope, just pepper jack.

Cracker Barrel.  Probably the best brand.  Now they have presliced AND sticks.  Someone smart works there, thank God.

Thoughts on Women

Thinking.   So far as I can tell, men think in linear terms: A > B > C, 1 > 2 > 3.   Women think in non-linear terms:  A > bread > Friday.  We get in trouble for assuming the opposite sex thinks the same way we do.  They don’t.  And since we don’t think the same way we’re in a poor position to predict their behavior no matter how well we know them.  Certain trends based on familiarity are the best we can do.  Men seem to be better than women at acknowledging that this difference exists, but as noted we’re limited in our ability to compensate for it. 

Relative vs. GF/Wife.   I don’t recall ever having any major problems with my mom, sister, or any female relatives.   All of them treat me fairly and honestly.  Which is a sad and strong contrast to my experience with women in a romantic context.

I’ve really had three major relationships, with women I’ll identify as LC, GG, and LS.   Each of these had their ups and downs and the first two are over as romantic relationships, though I remain on friendly speaking terms with LC.  I won’t complain about any of them, though I will comment as I see fit.

Honesty & Consistency.  Consistency is sadly a concept I rarely see recognized or followed by women, particularly women in a romantic relationship.  The most egregious example was when I was with GG in Bucharest.  Her husband – who she was supposedly in the process of divorcing – apparently had a GF on the side back in Holland.  This pissed her off big time.  Mind you, she also had a French BF who she was living with before, AND a Romanian BF who was himself married.  In addition to me.  So for awhile she had FOUR different men at the same time.  Then again, I suppose I should mark her down as the extreme end of inconsistency.

For men, so far as I can tell, 5% are scrupulously honest:  they would tell the truth about literally anything, even if it meant going to prison or dying.  At the other extreme are 5% who are hopeless liars, lying about everything, even when the truth is actually more favorable than the lie.  In the middle are the 90% who are mostly honest but lie occasionally when it’s in their best interests to do so for compelling reasons, e.g. to avoid jail or being killed.  They apply this honesty to friends and relatives equally to GFs or wives.  Perhaps marginally less honest with strangers or adversaries.  

For women, that 5% scrupulously honest do not exist.  Nope.  I’d say women are almost scrupulously honest (95%) with their male relatives (brothers, fathers, sons, etc.) and fairly honest (70%) with their husbands or boyfriends.  With strangers and adversaries that number drops to below 50%.  

Sadly, the women I dealt with were not completely honest with me.  I’m not talking about times at which we might have been fighting, arguing, or on bad terms, either broken up or about to break up.  I mean at the peak time at which we were on best terms, intimate, in love, and considering marriage.  Even at those times I could not count on 100% honesty from these women.  To encounter incomplete honesty at the optimal points in the relationship is disconcerting. 

Notwithstanding the sad circumstances under which some of these relationships have ended, I still look upon all of them favorably.  April 2006 in Bucharest was fun.  Five trips to Rio de Janeiro were enjoyable.  Trips to L.A. (2010) and Paris (2017) were also enjoyable and unforgettable.  I will not complain.  However, I would warn my male readers to always use your brain and never let love turn it off.  And I also bring this up to admonish my female readers to critically examine their own behavior relative to their loved ones and not solely focus on whether their male companions are treating them fairly or honestly.  It’s a two way street.

Fu Manchu & Mos Generator

Yes, another concert entry, immediately after the THC one posted last week.  It’s not my practice to blog about literally every show I go to, unless I feel something special is worth noting, as I do here.  I have no prior blog on Fu Manchu in particular.

By the way – about the Sword show two days before at the Baltimore Soundstage.   This a band who are fairly competent and astute on streaming/MP3/CD/vinyl/8 track whatever, but their stage presence is borderline catatonic.  Lead singer John Cronise simply stands there and sings and plays his Firebird I, and the other band members likewise do little but play their instruments.  I would advise against seeing this band live.  By now I’ve seen them several times and they tend to put me to sleep.  The highlight of this show was running into a friend and suitemate I hadn’t seen since college at UMCP (1886-1890).

Two days later I caught Mos Generator (opening) and Fu Manchu (headliner).   MG are from Seattle and remarked that this is their first concert appearance in DC.   They’re a three piece, Tony Reed being the singer/guitarist.  He was wearing a Trapeze (Glenn Hughes) shirt, and had tattoos of Iron Maiden, Ace Frehley, Black Sabbath’s first album cover, and the King Crimson Court Face.  The remarkable thing about this is that I had an MG album, The Late Great Planet Earth, which I hadn’t listened to for some time.  I listened to it again with the show coming up and apparently had forgotten how good the band were.  They have a new album, Shadowlands, due out next week, from which they played a few songs.  The latest release is Abyssinia, also high quality.  This band approaches, if not exceeds, the quality of Fu Manchu.

The show was at the R’n’R Hotel on H Street in northeast DC.  It’s a small club with a rectangular standing-room only floor area, though upstairs (out of line of sight of the band) there are seats, a bar, and the concessions area.  I’m getting older (aren’t we all?) and standing for long periods of time is getting more tedious and less tolerable than it used to be.  Getting up close to the band is more apt to make the standing a bit easier.

Normally I write off the opening act as a band easily forgotten.  Not so here.   MG were high octane, heavy duty, and I actually liked them more than Fu Manchu.   By all means Czech them out.

FU MANCHU came on and were as happy and energetic as always.   Frontman/rhythm guitarist Scott Hill, the only constant member, thanked us all for coming out on a weeknight.  Lead guitarist Bob Balch and bassist Brad Davis were solid – I was on Davis’ side of the stage.  The drummer is Scott Reeder, NOT the left-handed bassist Scott Reeder.  Scott Hill is the only original member, but by now Balch and Davis have been with the band since the mid-90s, i.e. close to the beginning.  They know the material and appear to enjoy playing it.

Discography: (full studio albums): No One Rides For Free (1994), Daredevil (1995), In Search Of… (1996), The Action Is Go (1997), Eatin’ Dust (1999), King of the Road (2000) (my favorite), California Crossing (2001), Start The Machine (2004), We Must Obey (2007), Signs of Infinite Power (2009), Gigantoid (2014), and newest release Clone of the Universe, featuring Alex Lifeson of Rush on extended jam instrumental “Il Mostro Atomico” – the set closer though unfortunately Mr. Lifeson is apparently not participating in live performances of this song, notwithstanding his own band’s permanent retirement from touring.  Maybe he has Trailer Park Boys engagements to hono(u)r.    

I got into the band thanks to a former friend whose name rhymes with Ren, back around 2001.  Prior shows I had the pleasure to attend were:  DC, February & September 2002 (California Crossing tour); Baltimore, October 2004 (Start The Machine tour); Jaxx in Virginia, March 2007 (We Must Obey tour); DC, September 2010 (Signs of Infinite Power tour); DC, May 2014 (Gigantoid tour), and this most recent show.

Incidentally, very early on, 75% of Fu Manchu was Eddie Glass, Mark Abshire, and Ruben Romano – they left to form Nebula, who sound remarkably similar to Fu Manchu.   I managed to see that band in June 2001 (Mercury Lounge with Ren), in DC in March 2006, and DC again in August 2008.  After a lengthy hiatus it looks like Eddie has resurrected Nebula and is playing some shows in California.  Romano currently has a band called the Freeks.  Not only that, stoner god Brant Bjork was on several albums too.

I would say that FM are a bit more energetic onstage and clearly enjoy performing, particularly for crowds as appreciative as the RNR Hotel audience, including myself, were that night.   The other redeeming factor is that the band has a GROOVE, you know what I’m saying?  I found myself moving my head up and down rapidly, which has been an inclination absent as I’ve grown older and probably a bit more jaded about bands.  I was happy to regain that sensation yet again.

 

Setlist: Eatin’ Dust; Clone of the Universe; California Crossing; Weird Beard; Evil Eye; (I’ve Been) Hexed; Hell on Wheels; Mongoose; Dimension Shifter; Laserblast!; Nowhere Left To Hide; King of the Road (!!!), Il Mostro Atomico; encore: Godzilla (Blue Oyster Cult cover).   By now I’m zone out on “Godzilla”, even when BOC play it – which they do.  Consistently.  And they tour.  Consistently.  Anyhow.

Opening Acts.  As noted, usually they’re bands we don’t care about and don’t even bother to show up early enough to catch them.  However, for the following shows, we considered the opening act of equal importance to the headliner:  Accept (Dokken); Triumph (Yngwie Malmsteen); Clash of the Titans:  Anthrax, Megadeth & Slayer (Alice in Chains, back when Layne Staley was still in the band); Van Halen (Alice in Chains) (same deal, a year later); Kyuss Lives! (The Sword); Clutch (Orange Goblin); Corrosion of Conformity (Brant Bjork); and last night’s show.   On rare occasions we considered the opening act MORE important than the headliner:  Def Leppard (Tesla), Billy Squier (King’s X); Audiovent (Fu Manchu); Foreigner (Don Felder).  Of these, we stayed to watch Def Leppard and Foreigner. 

So it was a great night:  The Fu brought it, as they so often do, but the opening act was also top quality, not just a waste of time before the headliner.  For their sake, I hope Mos Generator reaches the level of becoming a headliner. 

Texas Hippie Coalition

Back in high school in Paris in the early 80s, I discovered heavy metal.  AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourne, Metallica, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, etc.   I’d also heard of this band called the Grateful Dead.

With a name like that, they had to be hardcore metal, right?  And all these album covers with skulls and roses, you know?  So I bought Reckoning, a double live acoustic album, and was …”HUH?”  A helpful friend, Sean C., observed that this material was in fact standard fare for the band and agreed to take this album off my hands.   Decades later, he still has the vinyl I gave him, and I replaced it with the CD version (with extra tracks).  Suffice to say that the Grateful Dead were not nearly as heavy as their name would imply.

Fast forward to 2018 and I found the opposite with regard to this band, Texas Hippie Coalition.  I suspect they wanted everyone to know they smoked weed and wanted a band name which fit tetrahydracannabinol (THC), which we all know is the active ingredient of marijuana and gives it the ability to make you stoned.  All well and fine, but while “Texas” and “coalition” don’t necessarily imply any particular type of music – except maybe ZZTop – “hippie” certainly implies the type of music hippies generally listen to, the #1 being…the Grateful Dead.   So with a name like that, the most obvious implication is that this is a jam band. 

Nope.  THC sound like Pantera mixed with Lynyrd Skynyrd.  They are definitely heavy and brutal.  Mind you, there is no law that says everyone who smokes MJ and listens to music has to listen to the same music.  Rappers love weed.  Deadheads love weed.  Floyd fans love weed.  And metal fans – particularly fans of so-called “stoner rock” (mostly highly influenced by Black Sabbath with about 25% Pink Floyd added in) – also love weed.  Not everyone, of course.  Plenty of us stoner rock fans are happy with a beer or two and don’t need a joint or bong to appreciate even songs like “Sweet Leaf”.  I enjoyed the THC show on Monday night with nothing more than a 16 oz Blue Moon consumed while the last opening act, Kobra and the Lotus, was playing.

Band Names.  While I’m on the topic…  THC is not the only band openly expressing its love for the weed.  Of course, Black Sabbath sang “Sweet Leaf”, pot leaves can be seen on the cover of Second Helping by Lynyrd Skynyrd, and of course many rappers like Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, and Cypress Hill are likewise open and notorious about their habits.  Many stoner rock bands make it a point to name themselves accordingly, such as Bongzilla, Weedeater, and my favorite (from Poland), Weedpecker.  The bands vary in how brazen they are about displaying the pot leaf – which itself is fairly distinctive and recognizable by now (and is NOT on Ohio State football helmets, by the way) – on their albums or t-shirts, Brant Bjork these days being the most so, competing with Wino in that regard.  This band’s pot leaf shirt is long sold out. 

As MJ legalization gains momentum I dare say we’ll see more of this.  Eventually I expect the straight edge crowd to follow suit to remind us that not everyone smokes weed.  (No, really?)  Anyhow.

Band. Their prior bassist, John Exall, left the band recently and was replaced by a left-handed guy un-named on the website and in the show, who did a remarkably good job of looking cool and getting the job done.  Whether he earned the right to remain in the band after the tour remains to be seen.  Drums are done by Timmy Braun, twin guitars by Nevada Romo and Cord Pool, and – last but not least - the vocals handled by the large, verbose and unmistakable “Big Dad Rich”, whose mike stand was a double-barreled shotgun.  Like AC/DC, this band has one member who vastly outshines the rest of the band, and BDR is definitely that guy.  In addition to his powerful singing voice and imposing stage presence by sheer mass alone, he loves to tell the audience about his prior career smuggling weed from Mexico and selling it in the US at a profit.

Discography.  Pride of Texas (2008), Rollin’ (2010), Peacemaker (2012), Ride On (2014), Dark Side of Black (2016).  Of these, I purchased the newest and listened to the prior albums on Spotify in reverse order.  Pride of Texas could be considered a de facto Pantera tribute album, released 8 years after Pantera themselves released their last album, Reinventing The Steel.  Mind you, THC made no secret of their love for Pantera, and as fellow Texas metalheads it’s hardly a surprise.   As the band developed the material gets a bit looser and groovier, leaving Pantera not far behind but at least no longer being a verbatim copy anymore.

The point of all this is because on Monday night, April 30, I caught the band live at the Baltimore Soundstage, a small club in downtown Baltimore just north of the Inner Harbor.  Of the three opening acts, I caught the last one, Kobra & the Lotus, essentially a heavy hair metal band with a leather-clad female singer who looks like Britney Spears as a Motley Crue fan. 

With time and money in finite supply, we can’t see every show we want, and usually we end up seeing bands we’ve seen already because we know we’ll enjoy the show.  But every now and then we see a band we’ve never seen before, like this one.  [I say “we” but in fact I saw the show alone.]

I got there a bit early, and before sundown, so I took the liberty of parking on the street and walking around.  Although I’d been to a few shows at the Soundstage before, at those times I arrived just in time for the show, already dark, and wasn’t able to relax and look around.  I briefly cruised through Buns & Nubile in the power plant building, complete with huge smokestacks – no longer active – rising up through the store and up through the roof.  I had dinner at Chipotle (not much different there).  I walked around the pier, which is parallel to where the Pier Six Pavilion is to the east.  I recalled a date back in September 2006 with an annoying Filipino woman – right here at this exact place.  Then once all the random and restless nonsense was out of my system and I calculated that the last opening act was due to go on, I returned to the venue and checked in.

Before a band goes on to play, particularly a headliner, the venue plays songs on the PA specially chosen by the band the prep the audience for the upcoming musical festivities.  These aren’t random songs.  Before Clutch went on at Terminal 5 in NYC in December 2015, a few days after Lemmy had died, they played Motorhead songs in tribute to the fallen Hawkwind bassist.  See next entry…

Clutch.  Oh, this is funny.  I was wearing my Clutch hoodie to the show.  Clutch are from Germantown, Maryland, and with KIX long off the radar, are probably the premiere rock band from Maryland at this time.  THC put the Clutch song “Spacegrass” on the PA before they took the stage.  This is the song that starts off slow and includes lyrics about “Galaxie 5 0 0” and “Jesus on the dashboard” (often deliberately misheard as “Jesus on the dance floor”).  You would think a Baltimore, Maryland crowd would react to Clutch – and this being one of their most popular songs and most commonly played live despite set lists changing every night - but I was the only one in the audience wearing Clutch gear and the only one who recognized the song, prompting a high five from the security guy at the side of the stage – the only other Clutch fan in this place.  Anyhow.

Live.   Big Dad sings.  Nevada and Cord play guitar.  Drummer drums, bassist basses, and Big Dad belts out the tunes and tells us about weed in Texas.  All highly entertaining and worth enjoying at least once in a lifetime.

Make America Great Again?

Yet another salvo on the Trump issue.  That's because I have some more thoughts on this issue.

Putin’s Support For Trump.   Perhaps we’re a bit too caught up on the premise that Putin supports Trump because he believes Trump, having been helped into office by his comrade Vladimir, will reciprocate in some way.  While I wouldn’t entirely put it past Trump to honor some under-the-table agreement hatched at some meeting in Moscow before the election, a much more mundane idea is this.

Putin’s Russia is angling for more power and influence in the world.  It wants to replace the US as the #1 big shot on the world stage.  Its obvious rival therein is none other than the US of A.   He doesn’t need an American run by a Manchurian candidate either brainwashed, corrupt, or blackmailed (though two of these are sadly plausible).  All he needs is a US president who can’t even talk to Fox News people ostensibly favorable to him without compromising half his policy positions.   A weak and incompetent US president is perfect for Putin’s ambitions. 

[Having said that, given the circumstances we certainly should investigate whether Trump is, in fact, a Russian agent.  We’ll see where all this leads…]

Make America Great Again.  This is rather silly.  Aside from Russian spies or Islamic terrorists, is there anyone in the US who doesn’t want America to be great again?  Did all those people vote for Hillary because they thought she would ruin the country?   Even if Bernie Sanders’ idea of a “great” America resembles Denmark or Sweden, at least he and his supporters are sincere in their ideals – if somewhat misguided (!). 

By the way, speaking of Hillary Clinton.  It’s clear to me that she represents everything that non-Democrats hate about Democrats.  Arrogant, full of herself, confident she knows better than anyone else and that anyone who disagrees with her is an idiot.  She had no charisma, no charm, and no redeeming values.  Hillary weaseled her way to the nomination, pure and simple.  [FYI I voted for Gary Johnson in 2016 and have NEVER voted Democrat in any election, going back to my first in 1988].  The parties were supposed to put forward their best candidates, instead we got their worst.  This 2016 election was as if the last Super Bowl had been between the New York Giants (3-13) (even the hapless Lions hit 9-7) and the Cleveland Browns (0-16).  That would have been a game, huh?

Anyhow.

We have no issue rejecting ads promising to increase our penis size by 3” (probably a plastic extension measuring exactly 3”) or Viagra/Cialis pills at a mere fraction of what the pharmacist charges (probably placebos).  An offer to sell us the Brooklyn Bridge should be just as easily dismissed.  “Make America Great Again” is just as empty. 

The question is not whether we want America to be great again.  The question is why on GOD’S GREEN EARTH anyone believes that Donald Trump, of all people, could possibly make this happen.

Let’s examine who is making this promise.  While Trump himself has never filed personal bankruptcy, plenty of his companies have.  He no longer owns the Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City.  His airline, college, and meat business all went under – under strong charges of fraud.  Although Trump claims he never settles cases, he does so all the time.  He’s screwed up lots of real estate deals, including one for the upper west side of Manhattan.  He inherited his money from his father, and has less money today than if he simply invested his inheritance in a mutual fund.  Trump’s wealth came from his father and his own dumb luck at not losing it all, not from any brilliance or business savvy.  If it were Mark Cuban, Warren Buffett, Ross Perot, or other far more capable business magnates, I’d be more inclined to believe “Make America Great Again” to be a plausible promise.  From Trump it’s nothing more than cow manure.   Though at least cow manure is actually good for something.

I’ll repeat my earlier point about Trump’s golfing.   If what he accomplishes in the Oval Office is as likely to make Russia great as the US, I’m all for him spending more time on the golf course than in the White House. 

The sad irony of impeachment is that even if, somehow, that happens, we still wind up with Mike Pence as President.  Would anyone have voted for him as a Presidential candidate?  Who knows – and we may well find out in 2024.  In the meantime we have to simply hang on for the ride.  “May you live in interesting times…”

Happy 420

Yeah, more weed jokes.  But not from me.   I’ll just offer up more observations on the topic.

4:20 & 4/20.   It’s not just Hitler’s birthday, it’s the alleged time and/or date to toke up.  Really, you can toke up at 4:19, 4:21, or any other time of day, and any other day of the year.  By now it’s so well known it’s not even special or unique. 

Stoners have a bad habit of assuming because they’re stoned and find literally everything funny, that everyone else will too – and find their nonstop laughter and amusement endearing.  Nope.  Please, laugh at everything responsibly.

New Jersey.   Despite the promises now-Governor Phil Murphy made during his election campaign last fall, weed is still not legal in the Magic Garden State.  Remember, he’s the governor, not the NJ state legislature, so he doesn’t pass laws, he simply refrains from vetoing laws which Governor Fatso would have nixed.   As for when the legislature will pass anything, we’ll have to wait and see.

Decriminalization vs. Legalization.   Chuck Schumer (D-NY) has indicated he’ll try decriminalizing MJ at the Federal level.  In Virginia, decriminalization is what Ralph Northam promised.  A step short of legalizing, it means possession of modest amounts, typically under a half ounce, becomes merely a civil offense.  In Virginia, possession of a half ounce – a large amount for personal use but too small to be Costco quantity (try more like a pound) – is still a Class 1 misdemeanor, i.e. the worst misdemeanor short of a felony.   Doing so at a Federal level would get the FBI and DEA off everyone’s ass, nationwide. 

The following states have decriminalized marijuana: Delaware, Connecticut, Maryland, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Rhode Island

By the way, we associate Federal drug enforcement with the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA), but the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) is also actively investigating and prosecuting drug offenses.  It seems the two agencies had a brief turf war but eventually reached an agreement: the FBI hassles us at home, and the DEA goes outside the US. 

Anyhow.  Decriminalization is NOT legalization.  The latter exists in several states right now, the pioneer being Colorado.  In that state, officially sanctioned dispensaries sell recreational marijuana.  An adult – and you don’t even have to be a Colorado resident – can go in and purchase modest amounts of high quality, THC-laden marijuana with colorful names like Ghost Trainwreck, Green Crack, Soul Diesel, OG Kush, Girl Scout Cookies, AK-47, and so on.  [Maybe the Trump crowd would be more tolerant if someone named a strain AR15.]

The following states have LEGALIZED recreational marijuana:  Alaska, California, Colorado (the first), Maine, Massachusetts, Nevada, Oregon, Washington State.   Leave it to the District of Columbia (Washington, DC) to screw things up:  possession and growing is legal, but buying and selling is not.  Either you live there and figure out how to grow it yourself, or you play games bartering with people.  The MA law is in effect but their dispensary system is not yet operational – they hope to have it going by fall 2018.  They will sell to non-residents but all weed has to be smoked in MA.   How about a reboot of Cheers?  Woody would be the perfect budtender. 

Outside the US, Uruguay was the first country to legalize recreational MJ.   Canada did so recently, but their system isn’t online yet.  FYI, weed is NOT legal in North Korea.  What is are some hemp cigarettes with no THC, and which the locals will not sell you.   

Medical vs. Recreational.  Marijuana has two major ingredients:  THC and CBD.  THC is the active ingredient which gives it psychoactive effect and makes Pink Floyd albums so awesome.  CBD is what cures cancer.  Recreational strains emphasize THC and ignore CBD, whereas medical strains have almost no THC and instead maximize CBD. 

The medical laws vary.   The more liberal laws simply allow a doctor to issue a prescription for MJ if he/she believes you have some condition for which it would help.   California’s law, passed back in 1996, was this type, which acted in some ways as de facto legalization.   Other states were stricter, specifically narrowing this to certain unpleasant conditions like cancer, epilepsy, and other nasty diseases which most people don’t have.  Moreover, they often limited the patient to CBD oil which has no THC – i.e. you can’t get high off it.

Flower vs. Edibles vs. Hash.  Generally we think of MJ as the leafy herb people smoke in joints (horrendously inefficient), pipes, bongs, or more recently, vaporizers. 

Edibles are weed-infused cookies, brownies, gummies, etc.  The MJ has to be specially treated into butter or oil and then cooked normally into food you can eat.  The effects come on in two hours – instead of relatively instantaneously for smoked herb – but are 4 times what you could expect for the smoked version.  This has screwed up people who had never smoked and suddenly munched down on cookies and wondered what happened.  Even experienced smokers are warned to start slowly and take into account the two hour delay.  A major benefit of edibles, however, is not having smoke and smell everywhere.   With more places banning indoor smoking these days – e.g. literally everywhere in DC – that makes edibles more convenient.

At the top end is hash, wax, shatter, etc., essentially highly concentrated marijuana.  This can be consumed in a bong or special pipe.   See The Hasheesh Eater, by Fitzhugh Ludlow (1850s account by a verbose New Yorker).  It’s available wherever legal marijuana is available and probably best for those who have “been there, done that” and ready to maximize their MJ experience. 

Vape Shops.  These have sprung up like wildfire.  It seems every time I drive down the street I notice a new vape shop open.  Ostensibly these are for tobacco smokers who use vape pens and vaporizers to smoke their traditional herb, but they sell bongs and other items which are almost exclusively associated with marijuana.  Do NOT refer to marijuana, even if you’re buying a bong. 

Other drugs.  California is now debating legalizing – or at least decriminalizing – psychedelic mushrooms.  These are usually psilocybe cubensis – though there are lots of different psychoactive varieties – and considerably stronger than marijuana.  Mushrooms are a good approximation of LSD, though not exactly the same;  mushrooms sometimes induce nausea and other unpleasant physical effects which are absent with LSD.  Both cause intense hallucinations when consumed in sufficient quantity.   Even if these were fully legalized for recreational use – an outcome I’d consider optimistic even for California – the sheer intensity of these drugs makes them much less appealing and desirable relative to marijuana.

Heroin.   Rather than go on about meth, ecstasy (MDMA), cocaine, etc. I’ll simply head to the top.  Heroin is by its nature physically addictive.  Bayer invented it in 1895 as a safe, non-addictive alternative to morphine, only to find it was neither.  It was criminalized in the US in 1924.   As too many people have found out the hard way, you can die of a heroin overdose – which is not true of marijuana.

Despite that, I would argue that heroin should be legal.  While legalizing it would not make it non-addictive, it would be safer, though not completely safe.  The #1 thing making heroin dangerous, though, is its illegality.  Available cheap, in known doses and quality, the risk would be brought down to manageable levels.  As a practical matter, I would argue that demand for cheap, legal, top quality heroin would still be a fraction of demand for any other drug, especially marijuana. 

Moreover, if heroin can be legalized, all those drugs between marijuana and heroin could also be legalized.  The biggest concern for doing so is the consensus – an unproven assumption but taken as irrebuttable fact – that if you legalize something, literally EVERYONE will do it.  Legalize gay marriage, and overnight all these happily married heterosexual couples will abandon their opposite-sex spouses and hook up with same-sex partners.  Legalize cocaine and everyone will snort it.  Legalize heroin and we’re all stabbing our arms with needles.  Legalize LSD and we’re all flying jumbo jets into rainbows.  You get the idea. 

I know several people who live in Colorado.  How many of them smoke marijuana? NONE.   I don’t know anyone who left their opposite sex spouse to go get married to a same-sex partner simply because their state suddenly legalized gay marriage.  I know nobody – myself included – who would even try heroin if it were legalized tomorrow.  And if you really think about it, very few people actually would.  

   

For those of you who do toke, enjoy today while it lasts.  And tomorrow, and the next day….

Uber

By now most of us know what this is, even if we’ve rarely used it as a passenger and never as a driver.  So my point here is not so much to de-clueless everyone, rather simply to offer my own opinion and thoughts on this issue.

For those of you living in caves without Internet access and thus unable to read my Facebook blogs, Uber is a ridesharing app that lets ordinary people arrange transportation from other relatively ordinary people (non-cab drivers) using their own private vehicles.  No direct payment occurs as the rider pays through online banking to Uber, and the driver gets paid the same way through Uber.  It relies on GPS and smartphones, so if you have neither, you might have a problem.  However, you can call and arrange Uber for someone else, e.g. an older parent without a cell phone.

Passenger.   I’ve used it a few times, more often lately to get to concerts in DC in neighborhoods where parking is nonexistent.  It also allows you to drink or consume mind-altering substances which would normally preclude driving.  (No comment).  It also helps people from out of town, they simply punch in their origin and destination and let the Uber driver worry about how to get from one to the other.  In between the issues of parking, driving, navigation, etc. I’d say that Uber is quite practical for many people – myself included. 

It’s available overseas:  my brother used it in Paris, while we simply took the Metro and RER. 

Driver.   Lately I’ve been driving more often.   I never considered myself a cab driver and don’t watch much “Taxi”.  As a practical matter, being an Uber driver makes you a de facto cab driver, albeit driving your own car. 

Uber tells you how to get to where you’re picking up your passenger, and once picked up, how to get to where they’re going.  It’s not perfect:  it’s told me to go through construction barriers and chain link fences.  Not to worry, though: if you have to detour, Uber will readjust and send you where you’re going by an alternate route.  Sometimes there’s a lag, though.

You accumulate a balance and can cash out fairly efficiently.  I’ve yet to ascertain whether I’m earning more in fares than spending for gas (89 octane for a 370 HP 5.7L V8 which gets 15 mpg in city driving) but my subjective impression is that yes, I am – though (Judas) Prius drivers undoubtedly have a better margin than me. 

Meeting new people is really not the thing for me.  Half my rides keep quiet and focus on their cell phones, others actually engage me in conversation.  I’m driving a 2009 Dodge Charger R/T with Flowmaster mufflers, which sometimes elicits comments from male passengers.   It’s unlikely any female passenger would notice if I was driving a Hellcat (700 HP).    Incidentally, your car has to be a sedan or an SUV, so Corvette, Camaro, Mustang and Challenger drivers need not apply.

For me the most fun part is finding new parts of town I might otherwise never visit.   Southeast DC in particular has been dramatically built up and is much more upscale.   That’s an adventure in itself.  But it’s also fun when the trip returns to familiar neighborhoods like the 14 Street corridor, Adams Morgan, and my own part of Northern Virginia. 

Most often I wind up picking up someone in Northern Virginia, taking them into DC, and getting a new trip set up before I’ve even dropped off the first passenger.  Eventually a DC passenger asks to be taken to suburban Maryland or Virginia and my shift ends – until I get ANOTHER fare just blocks from home.  Very often DC winds up being back-to-back fares, but the stop-go nonsense means the return on investment is less than you’d hope for.  The ideal fare is from DC out to somewhere in the suburbs.  But I can’t always count on that. 

Uber passengers can POOL, which means I’m picking up a series of passengers and dropping them off.  Pooling is cheaper for them, but unfortunately likewise less lucrative for me.  An ideal arrangement is a series of passengers, not a pool.  Shrug.

PEEVE.  Sometimes I arrive at the location and my passenger is nowhere to be found.  No-shows are fairly common, though thankfully not the majority of instances.  The other issue is when my passenger is a block away OR on the other side of the street.  Hint: it’s easier for a passenger to cross the street and get into the car, than it is for me to drive around the block, especially somewhere like DC.

PEEVE 2.  Some of DC’s streets are still not in good shape.  The city streets are nominally well set-up – numbered streets run north-south, lettered streets run east-west, state streets are diagonal, with the city bifurcated into NE/NW/SE/SW by Independence & Constitution Ave. & the Mall (north-south) and North and South Capitol Streets (east-west).  Much of what we’d think of as “SW” is actually Arlington County, Virginia, so SW DC is fairly small. 

Despite that, there are way too many dead ends, one-way streets, circles, confusing intersections, and so forth, which seriously compromise the city’s otherwise sensible format.   When it comes to planning the exceptions, I suspect DC paid the least expensive and least qualified person, e.g. Mayor Barry in a highly compromised state, to handle this. 

Long term, I’d wonder if less people wind up buying vehicles altogether and begin relying upon Uber. I don’t see it as practical to commute every day, but we’ll see.  I tried signing up for NYC as well, but Uber won’t let you be registered in multiple metropolitan areas simultaneously.  For that matter, I don’t know if DC includes Baltimore.  I dare say I’ll find out.  I’m also curious about the maximum range:  “take me to Hawaii”. 

one way to find out….