Election 2020

 One day early this week, but not about Christmas.  What can I say?  Birth of Jesus in Bethlehem, Christmas carols, presents, Santa Araya, etc.  Too much about Christmas is common knowledge and too obvious to discuss.  I don’t bring anything different or special to the table to make a blog entry worthwhile.

Ah, but this last election.  

First off:  BIDEN WON, TRUMP LOST.  The electorate is 1/3 Republican, 1/3 Democrat, and 1/3 independent.   It’s possibly ¼ Republican, ¼ Democrat, and ½ independent.  Either way, neither the Republicans nor the Democrats have enough of their own voters to elect the President without the assistance of independents, most of whom are in the middle.  If your candidate’s popularity has dropped to the point where your own party members are supporting the other candidate, that’s a bad sign. 

Second.  I voted for Jo Jorgenson, not Trump or Biden.  I live in Virginia, which has become bluer than it was in 2016, when it voted for Hillary Clinton.  The governor, Ralph Northam, is a Democrat.  Both US Senators, Mark Warner and Tim Kaine, are Democrats.  The state legislature in Richmond, the General Assembly, is now majority Democrat.  Sure, there are plenty of Republicans and Trump 2020 signs in Virginia, but not as many as Democrats and Biden-Harris signs.

Jorgenson got 1% of the vote, and won no states.  That doesn’t surprise me.  She has no political experience as an elected official – unlike two term New Mexico governor Gary Johnson – and there’s really no reason for anyone to vote for her except because she happened to be the LP candidate.  Ideally the LP should pick candidates like Johnson who would qualify as major party candidates, but obviously I didn’t choose her.  We’ll see what happens in 2024. 

Third.  This business of “interference 2016” vs. “interference 2020”.   The 2016 interference alleged was that the Russians leaked unflattering information about Hillary Clinton which induced some people to vote for Trump instead.  I don’t recall a single allegation that the Russians tampered with voting machines or absentee and/or mail-in ballots, and for that matter I don’t recall anyone actually determining how many erstwhile Hillary voters switched their votes to Trump in swing states, thanks to this leaked information, pushing the election in his favor.   The more plausible explanation is that Hillary Clinton was less popular than she believed herself, and with her heavily favored to win the election anyway, the only people intensely motivated to vote were people who drank the Trump Kool-Aid (actually, it was Flavor-Aid in Jonestown).

Fourth.  I’m hearing lots of people on the Book of Faces and elsewhere expressing skepticism about the legitimacy of the election and insinuating that Trump’s allegations of fraud are legitimate.  Apparently they have more evidence than Trump’s own attorneys.  More evidence than Trump’s own attorney general, Bill Barr, who advised the President to concede the election.  More evidence than Mitch McConnell (R-KY) or Pat Robertson, who likewise accepted, however reluctantly, Biden’s victory.  Not a single judge, least of all the US Supreme Court, which is 5-4 conservative (Trump’s own three appointees, Barrett, Kavanaugh and Gorsuch, plus Alito and Thomas), accepted these arguments.  Likewise with lower courts, many of whose judges are likewise conservative.  These judges have consistently chastised Trump’s lawyers for filing suits without any evidence to support them.  Trump apparently believes that all you have to do is file a suit and you win the case – bullshit and arrogance are acceptable substitutes for evidence.   This vast conspiracy of judges seems to disagree.

Moreover, there’s a runoff election in Georgia, and both Lindsay Graham and Mitch McConnell won re-election.  If the Democrats learned how to manipulate the elections, common sense dictates they would have made Rand Paul the senior senator from Kentucky and made sure to flip the Senate. 

I’m not surprised Biden won.  I’m surprised the margin wasn’t even higher.  Many Republicans and independents only voted for Trump in 2016 because they couldn’t stand Hillary Clinton.  Joe Biden is considerably less arrogant and unlikeable among non-Democrats.  It reached the point where many high profile Republicans were endorsing Joe Biden.  I didn’t hear any high profile Democrats endorsing Trump.  If there was any chicanery going on, logic suggests it was on the Republicans’ part.  Some recounts were seeing Biden’s lead getting bigger, not smaller.   The absentee ballots were clearly Biden supporters who wanted to make sure that Trump did not win a second term.  Trump’s own voters assumed he would win re-election and simply voted as usual on election day.  Not only that, although absentee voting started weeks before, many states have rules prohibiting these votes from being counted before election day, instead of being counted when they came in and added to the election day votes to reach the final outcome.  So I knew we wouldn’t know the true outcome on election night.  Whether that changes by 2024, we’ll have to see.   In the meantime, enjoy 4 years of Joe Biden.

Live Stream!!!

 

This weekend my writer’s block was cured, but on Saturday, meaning I missed my (self-imposed) Friday deadline.  As before, I remain incredulous that my weekly ramblings suffice to engender anyone else’s attention, but since they do, I’m happy to continue, to the extent I can come up with anything remotely worth discussing.

By now we’re all painfully aware of the COVID crisis and how it has made a major impact in our lives.  For those of us who enjoy live music, that’s been even worse.

2020 Shows.  2019 was capped off with Clutch’s late December show at the 9:30 Club in DC.  2020 was ushered in by Church of Misery, a Japanese stoner rock band, at the Rock’n’Roll Hotel in DC – up there on U Street, a few blocks due east of Union Station.  Next up was UFO – the British band famous for Michael Schenker, “Doctor Doctor” and ‘Rock Bottom” – who I enjoyed at the Tally Ho in Leesburg, Virginia, with my brother, Matt.  Then was Opeth (as mentioned last week), at the Fillmore Silver Spring, in Silver Spring, Maryland, also with Matt – and it was his first Opeth show.  Finally OM – Sleep bassist Al Cisneros’ side band, very much drone-y like SunnO))) – at the Black Cat, right on Fourteenth Street in DC.   

Then the manure hit the oscillating climate control device.

Here are the shows we had tickets to see, and which were cancelled due to the COVID shitshow. 

TOOL, 4/24/20 at Royal Farms Arena in Baltimore, Maryland.

Fu Manchu, 5/6/20 at the Baltimore Soundstage in Baltimore, Maryland. 

King Buffalo, 6/27/20 at the Metro Gallery in Baltimore, Maryland.

King Crimson, 6/30/20 at Wolf Trap, Vienna, Virginia. 

Guns N’Roses, 7/16/20 at Nationals Park in DC.

All Them Witches (ATW), 7/22/20 at the Otto Bar in Baltimore, Maryland.

Roger Waters, 7/30/20, at the Capital One Arena in Washington, DC

Dead & Company, 8/5/20 at Jiffy Lube Live in Bristow, Virginia – with my former boss, Jerry, who hadn’t seen the Dead since …maybe before 1986. 

Judas Priest, 9/9/20 at the MGM Grand in Oxon Hill, Maryland.

Elder, 11/13/20 at the Richmond Music Hall down in Richmond, Virginia.

As you can see, it was some pretty big shows.  Fortunately Bobby Weir, Fripp, Maynard, Halford, Waters, Axl & Slash, are all still alive – Maynard surviving COVID – so hopefully those shows will be back online in 2021 after we get a vaccine that works.  My concern is that if the virus mutates to make the vaccine ineffective, and continues to mutate, we may be looking at a scenario where COVID is effectively permanent.  But let’s hope and pray that this vaccine gets the job done.

Fortunately, despite all this, some bands realized that this Internet thing could let them play a live show and stream it online.  And yes, that has happened.  Here are the live streaming shows I’ve seen so far:

Clutch, 5/27/2020.  Their first live streaming show, called “Doom Saloon”.  An hour, well done.  From Maryland, this band is mostly straightforward rock’n’roll, though the lyrics are somewhat offbeat, and bassist Dan Maines gives a bit a funk step, mixing it up a bit.  Moreover, the band has kept the same lineup all this time:  singer Neil Fallon, guitarist Tim Sult, and drummer Jean-Paul Galter.  If you haven’t heard them already, by all means check them out on Spotify. 

Clutch, 8/7/2020.  Their second show, called “Doom Saloon 2”.  They solicited proposed setlists from the fans and picked one to do.  This setlist had a fair amount of deep cuts.  They also sold T-shirts and recorded the show onto vinyl.

DOWN, 8/29/20.  This is the “supergroup” with Pantera’s Phil Anselmo on vocals, Corrosion of Conformity’s Pepper Keenan on guitar, Crowbar’s Kirk Windstein on guitar, and Pantera’s Rex Brown on bass.  I think the drummer was from Crowbar.  They played their first album, NOLA, in its entirety.  Despite liking DOWN and having all three studio albums, both EPs, and their live album, I had somehow never managed to see them in concert – until now.  They sold t-shirts of the event. 

Crowbar and the Obsessed, 10/3/20.  Crowbar is a thrash band from New Orleans, and the Obsessed features Maryland’s own stoner doom god, Scott “Wino” Weinrich.  This time around he was doing an acoustic set.  Of all these shows, this was my last favorite.

Earthless, 10/17 and 10/24/20.   This is another psychedelic band that does long, extended jams.  Both shows were fine, with different setlists.

Alice in Chains.  On 12/1/20 the Museum of Pop in Seattle, Washington, saw fit to pay tribute to the Seattle grunge band and its late singer, Layne Staley, with a free tribute show of various bands, including Metallica and Mastodon.  The material also covered some later Duvall-era tracks.  The performances were live and streamed in from various sources, all four members of Metallica performing "Would" from separate locations.  

Clutch, 12/18/20.   “Doom Saloon 3”.  Nominally this was supposed to start at 8, but from 8 to 9 what we got was the guys reminiscing over footage of them opening for other bands back in the day, and drummer Jean-Paul Gaster giving us a tour of their home base somewhere in Maryland.  Wagon wheel chandeliers will be sold out now, thanks to him.  The set itself was culled from the most requested songs in all those fan-profferred setlists which weren’t chosen for Doom Saloon 2.   This elicited some displeasure at the absence of deep cuts and obscure tunes, as if the band has some duty to play these songs to the exclusion of fan favorites just so the Old Guard can smugly remark that they recognize tracks which the main base of fans don’t.   Yes, that means don’t hold your breath to hear “Binge & Purge”. 

All Them Witches, 12/19, 2 p.m. and 9 p.m.  The two sets were different, but not completely so – about 70% of the material was the same, 30% different.  The combo pack includes a t-shirt, but no actual recording.  ATW do a good job of mixing TOOL and the Grateful Dead, if you can imagine that.  They don’t sound like anyone else, itself a miracle these days.  They’re from Nashville, Tennessee. 

in January there will be a full series of concerts out in the Mohave Desert:  Earthless (1/23), Nebula (2/6), Spirit Mother (2/20), Mountain Tamer (3/6), and Stoner (how’s that for subtle?) a band put together by none other than Brant Bjork and Nick Oliveri.  We’ll see how that goes.  

Benefits.   Most of us prefer live shows, in person, but these live streaming shows do have some major advantages over shows on location.

Logistics.  No driving to DC, Baltimore, or wherever, trying to find parking, then driving back at 1 a.m.  Just turn on your computer and watch (assuming you have an Internet connection); so far all seemed to fit well within my bandwidth.  From the privacy of your own home, you can attend the show wearing as much or as little as you like, and as inebriated or otherwise chemically altered as you see fit, without the issue of how you’re supposed to get home in that condition.  When the show is over, just crash in bed – if that’s your inclination.

No Crowds.  No moshing.  None of this BS where the tallest guy in the club decides to stand front center and block everyone else’s view.  No asshole screaming at Phil Mogg to play “ROCK BOTTOM!!!” through the entire set.  And I’ve yet to see a live stream show sell out.  Mind you, as you can see above, the big shows which would have been at arenas and stadiums haven’t made their way to streaming.

Recordings.  As yet, only Clutch seems to be actually recording these shows, though only on vinyl.  Metallica and Dead & Company are the two current bands (along with Phish and Widespread Panic) who seem to be recording all their latest shows – not just one per tour – and making them available on MP3 or CD. 

If you haven’t already, I would strongly recommend determining which, if any, of your favorite bands have gotten the memo and are live streaming upcoming shows.  Not really a substitute for real shows, but better than spending an hour to ninety minutes surfing Amazon or Facebook. 

Opeth

 

Another Friday with writer’s block, but my Opeth hoodie provided the inspiration – plus I checked my records and verified that I have not yet blogged about this band…per se.  So I can take a break waxing poetic yet again about the PONTIAC FIREBIRD FORMULA 350 and bore everyone about this band from Stockholm, Sweden.

They started out as somewhat of a thrash band with “Cookie Monster” vocals, until singer/guitarist Mikael Akerfeldt either discovered prog bands or finally decided to blend those elements into Opeth’s repertoire.  In fact, they have a full-blown prog album, Damnation, which is still my favorite, though Watershed was the first album I bought.   Live, Akerfeldt is highly humorous and entertaining.  An interview with him turned me on to British 70s prog band Camel, and he is also a big fan of Deep Purple.  The artwork for their show at the Royal Albert Hall in London was done up like DP’s Concerto, and I have a Come Taste the Band (DP Mark IV with Tommy Bolin) tribute shirt. 

Studio Discography:  Orchid (1995); Morningrise (1996); My Arms, Your Hearse (1998); Still Life (1999); Blackwater Park (2001); Deliverance (2002); Damnation (2003); Ghost Reveries (2005); Watershed (2008); Heritage (2011); Pale Communion (2014); Sorceress (2016); In Cauda Venenum (2019).  Still Life is the earliest album I have – never got around to getting the first three.  They are long overdue for a covers album.

As the years progress they get more like a prog band and less of a Cookie Monster band, which is fine by me.  Maybe I’m getting older, but my tolerance for the same old thrash, especially with unintelligible, “Cookie Monster” vocals which winds up being just a bunch of angry noise, gets less and less.  Here’s a band which mixes in prog elements to change things up, and they have a singer who can actually sing. Of the big 4 thrash bands, Joey Belladonna (Anthrax) has the best voice, followed by Dave Mustaine (Megadeth), James Hetfield (Metallica), and finally Tom Araya (Slayer), but even he is singing and you can understand the vocals.  Anyone less intelligible than Araya I zone out about, and unfortunately that does include some of Opeth, particularly the earlier material.  Anyhow.     

I’ve seen them live, five times between 2008 and 2020 (yes, this year).  The band consistently plays well, and Akerfeldt’s humor, as previously noted, is much appreciated.   Be prepared to hear earlier material with about one song from Damnation.      

And if you love buying band merchandise, you’ll love Opeth.  The US webstore doesn’t have a whole lot, but the UK/Europe store – which will ship to MAGA-Land, though the shipping costs are a little higher and you may wait a little longer to receive your stuff – has a MUCH larger selection.   Whoever does their merch is highly imaginative.  Their variant on Sweden’s national team soccer jersey (yellow and blue, of course) is excellent, though as yet I’ve resisted the urge to spend $100 on it. 

Storm Corrosion.  Steven Wilson, the main guy from Porcupine Tree and a producer for prog bands, did a joint project with Akerfeldt – if you like Opeth, you’ll probably enjoy this as well.

The Formula - AGAIN

 Maybe a broken record, here.  I had a dream the other day that I got the Formula back (1992 Pontiac Firebird Formula 350) and was driving it down the road.  It was VERY fast – as I remember it being – but would need tags and insurance, and a place to park it.  As my 2009 Dodge Charger R/T was totaled in September, I’ve been driving my mom’s Chevy HHR around, and it clearly has far less than 370 HP.  Since I haven’t paid off the Charger, I won’t be buying another one for a few months. 

Blogs:  “The Formula” (11/24/2006); The Beast is Back in Black (5/24/2007); Hello Neon, Bye Bye Formula (1/31/2008); The Beast is Back….Again (3/17/2011); Welcome Back to 1995 (7/31/2015) and More Fire Birdy Stuff (8/24/2018).  Suffice to say I’ve talked about it.  I’ve also mentioned the 1976 Esprit, which I still have; the 1980 Trans Am I had in 2000 and which never ran – even before pulling its anemic 150 HP 301 V8; the 1968 Pontiac Firebird 400 my buddy Phil and I tried buying in Flint, Michigan in fall 1995; and the Pontiac 400 V8 I bought in 1998.  At least this car I had for 17 years.

Both the Chevrolet Camaro and the Pontiac Firebird were meant to compete with the Ford Mustang, a relatively inexpensive 4 seater, 2 door, front-engine rear-wheel drive car of fairly light weight.  The base models started with inline sixes, then V6s, and in some years, 4 cylinder engines (Fox body - 1979-93 - Mustangs and 1982-86 Camaros and Firebirds).  The performance models had a V8 of varying power depending on the years, with the 20th Anniversary Trans Am (1989) having a special turbocharged Buick V6, the same engine as the Grand National and GNX.  The top performance model of the Camaro started out as the SS (Super Sport) and then switched to the Z/28 and IROC.  For the Firebird, that was the Trans Am and the Formula.  Generally the Formula was available with the same engines, transmissions and suspension as the Trans Am but was a bit more subtle.  Even the '73-74 Super Duty Formulas got the Trans Am's shaker hood but not its "Screaming Chicken" hood bird.  I generally prefer the Formula to the Trans Am.  

Sometime in 1992 I acquired a Pontiac catalog which listed all its 1992 vehicles, including the Firebird.  From that I learned that the Formula – much slimmer than the Trans Am, lacking the ground effects package – was available with the 5.7L V8, 240 HP.  But without a decent job, I wouldn’t be buying one any time soon.

November 1992.   My third year in law school, I went from putting books back on the shelf in the law library for $5.50 an hour, 10 hours a week, to working for a real lawyer (Jerry), on real cases, making $10 an hour for 20 hours a week.  This meant I could finally qualify for a new car loan.  I couldn’t afford a Formula 350 ($19,000) but in any case by then, those were all gone.  But I could afford a new Firebird, base, with the 5.0L (TBI) engine.  Black on black, loaded with options (unfortunately including ground effects) it was my first new car.  The 5.0L V8 wasn’t a rocket, but the car could certainly get out of its own way.  Plus it had T-tops.

June 1995.  I was back to earning a full salary working for Jerry, and could qualify for a loan again,  I purchased a used 1992 Firebird Formula 350.  This was in aquamarine, black interior, but with almost no options:  no t-tops (which I didn’t miss), no power windows, no power door locks, but at least it had A/C.  Moreover, the original owner had upgraded with the SLP Package, which added 50 HP.  That included a cool air intake, larger throttle body with air foil, siamesed intake runners, a performance PROM chip and cooler thermostat, 1 5/8” headers, 3” exhaust running from the dual catalytic converters to the muffler, and a freer flowing muffler with both tailpipes going out the same side (driver’s side).

For my part, I had a Jacob’s Ignition system installed; 2800 stall converter with shift kit in the 700-R4 automatic transmission, 3.73 gears in the rear end (10 bolt), and sturdier trailing arms and panhard rod.  I also had installed the TPIS Big Mouth (lower) intake manifold.  I still have the original as well.  

September 1997 to January 1998.  Jerry and I had a client down in Stafford, Tim, who ran a body shop.  Tim wanted more custody with his son, so Jerry took his case in exchange for doing a color change from aquamarine to black.  The car was supposed to be done by late October, but ended up not being done until January 31, 1998.   

12/4/07.   In fall of 2007 I was working for a law firm buried in the woods near Fairfax.  Driving home in the cold, the car spun 180 going around a curve and plunged backwards into the woods.  Somehow I managed to get Tim to fix it up again, though it wasn’t back on the road again in my possession until May 23, 2008. I never did put the decals back on (FORMULA on the doors and rear bumper, “5.7 LITER F.I.” on the hood bulges, Firebirds on the sail panels).

Through much of 2008-2009 the Formula had engine issues which prevented it from passing emissions, until a hot rod shop at Fairfax Circle managed to figure out what was wrong with it and get it running property again. 

12/8/2012.   I was working at the office on Saturday and my Formula had an engine fire.  The car wound up in a towing lot in Stafford, the engine wound up in a machine shop in Fairfax.  Efforts to fix the Formula without an engine went nowhere and I eventually simply signed off on the title to Billy, who owned the towing lot.  The engine was rebuilt by a machine shop, but I ran out of money halfway through the rebuild.  In February 2013 I purchased a brand new Honda Civic.  On January 22, 2015, I traded the Civic in for a 2009 Dodge Charger R/T.  

On September 1, 2020 I had an accident which resulted in the Charger being totaled – less than a year left on the loan.  As of now I’m driving my Mom’s Chevy HHR, as noted above.  I stopped by the machine shop and made another payment on the Chevy V8.  

Sadly, circa 2020, Firebirds of all years are very rare.  When I took classes at NOVA Alexandria in 1995-98, I spoke with a fellow Formula 350 owner who had been living in L.A. at the time he bought his own ’89 model.  He actually saw it built at the Van Nuys factory which was making F-bodies back then (up to 1992).  He said they were making 3-4 Camaros for every Firebird.   By now all third generation Firebirds (1982-92) are at least 28 years old, and they only made Formulas from 1987-1992 of those years; the mid-model from 1982-86 was the S/E, somewhat like the 1970-81 Esprit.  Oddly, on the rare occasion I find someone selling an 1988-92 Formula in decent condition, they’re asking at least $10,000 for it. 

Dragstrip.  I took the car to Maryland International Raceway (MIR) once, on a hot summer day when no one else was at the track.  The best I could do, after dropping the tire pressure in the rear tires, was mid-14s in the quarter mile.  Then I learned about 75/80, up near Frederick, and took it up there a few times.  By that time I had it down to 14.28, around 99 mph.  The original owner, shortly after installing the SLP package, had it doing high 13 second quarter mile times.  Though I never took the Charger, rated at 370 HP, there, according to the specs, those are the same times a stock Charger R/T will do.  Go figure.

Sally vs. Carrie

 

In May 1977, my father took my brother and I to the movie theater at Quince Orchard, Maryland (Gaithersburg) and we finally got to see the first Star Wars movie – well after all our friends had.  In summer 1980, our cousins took us to see “The Empire Strikes Back” in Rockville, Maryland.  And in London, 1983, my brother and I saw “Return of the Jedi” at Leicester Square, with some highly vocal local boys who were kind of annoying.  But imagine our immense surprise when the bounty hunter taking Chewbacca in to Jabba the Hutt, and unfreezing Han Solo from his carbon freezing, takes off the helmet to reveal it’s… Princess Leia.  Soon after, the heretofore fully-clothed Leia now appeared in a highly provocative bikini – aka “Slave Leia” and a common sight in cosplay circles.  I think I speak for all males out there when I say that Carrie Fisher was definitely a knockout in that attire.

 Around the same time “Star Wars” came out, another popular movie came out.  In this film, a charismatic rogue, “Bandit”, drove a 1977 Pontiac Trans Am Special Edition eastbound from Texarkana to Georgia, distracting the police from a large rig carrying 400 cases of Coors beer further east than it could legally be sold at that time.  He picked up an attractive girl, “Frog” (Sallie Field) who was escaping from a wedding (Snowman, observing her bridal gown flying out from the Trans Am’s t-tops: “what’s she wearing now?”).  Her father-in-law-to-be, played by Jackie Gleason, wasn’t too pleased at this change of plans and took to pursuing the couple well outside his jurisdiction – as one angry local cop reminded him. 

 Sally Field and Carrie Fisher are two beautiful actresses who I sometimes confuse with one another: they are both very cute, somewhat short, and have iconic roles.   Field (DOB 11/6/46) is ten years older than Fisher (DOB 10/24/56) but remarkably still among us.  Fisher, sadly, passed away fairly recently (12/27/16).  Both are highly attractive, fairly short, and brunette.  Fisher has a famous actress mother, Debbie Reynolds (“The Unsinkable Molly Brown”), and I’m not sure Field’s parents are famous.   They both went on to other roles afterwards.   Fisher served as Sally’s (Meg Ryan) friend in “When Harry Met Sally”, and Field served as Forrest Gump’s mom.  

Camouflage

 Up until World War I, most countries’ military uniforms appeared to have little to do with allowing soldiers to blend into the environment in which they were fighting.  In the Revolutionary War, the British wore bright red coats, even evoking their colloquial name of “redcoats”.  In the US Civil War, Union soldiers wore dark blue.  In World War I, the French started out with dark blue jackets and bright red pants before switching over to light blue, commonly referred to as “horizon blue”.  By that point the Germans had switched from dark blue to field grey and the British had finally discovered khaki.  The US settled on a green color commonly referred to as “olive drab”, though US Marines in WWI wore a darker shade of green.

  During WWII, Germany and the US developed camouflage uniforms.   The Wehrmacht “splinter” pattern is less well known – though prevalent in the original “Inglorious Bastards” film from 1978.  So far as I can tell it was a smock but not a full uniform (except a little-used winter version).  The much-discussed Waffen SS developed a dot pattern in spring and autumn versions, though I rarely see the spring version.  The autumn version started out as a smock and wound up, by 1944, as a full uniform.  By now that dot cammo pattern is an easy way to distinguish SS troops, along with either SS (Sigrune) or Totenkopf black collar patches and their distinctive collar insignia, from private all the way up to the Reichfuhrer SS himself, Heinrich Himmler (who was too young to see combat in WWI). 

 For its part US forces developed a similar pattern, but had to reserve it for Pacific theater operations due to US troops in Europe being mistaken for SS.  I’m not aware the Japanese ever developed a camouflage uniform.  However, you don’t see the US WWII camouflage pattern appear after WWII, Korean and Vietnam War US troops are almost always seen in simple olive drab.

 Woodland camouflage.  By the mid-80s the US switched from olive drab to woodland camouflage as a standard, at least for the Army.   This is green, brown and tan.  By Operation Desert Storm (1991) we’d developed our first desert camouflage variety, later replaced with a slightly different pattern, obviously in desert colors, for the operations in Afghanistan (2001) and Iraq (2003). 

 Multicam Black.  Recently I developed an affinity for jungle hats, in particular of camouflage variety.  And there’s apparently a new variety out there these days, “multicam black”.  I ordered one, and the label had this eerie description: “Multicam black was developed to meet the unique needs of law enforcement operating in high risk environments. It projects a distinctly authoritative presence appropriate for domestic operations.”  So here’s a camouflage variant expressly designed for domestic military operations against our own civilian population.  I’m not Angela Davis, Bernie Sanders or Tom Morello, but language like that really makes you wonder if the police understand that they are NOT the military when facing US citizens at home.  Even the FBI, training at Quantico – of all places – designate non-target civilians as “the taxpayer”, meaning Special Agents are repeatedly reminded that innocent civilians are paying their salaries.   Having said all that, multicam black is pretty cool, like a goth version of woodland camouflage. 

Friends Revisited

 I initially posted a tribute to a high school friend, but due to his military status, and at his request, I deleted it.  I don’t want to cause him any problems by sharing more information than the general public has a right to know, even if it is positive.  I also note that I addressed the “friends” issue in general back in 2013, so to redo everything I’ll have to reconcile the two to avoid embarrassing friends or repeating my prior blog.  To the friend in question, “das tut mir leid. Entschuldigen Sie, bitte.”  Sadly, circa 2020 he’s the high school friend we meet up with most often. 

 The other high school friend, PH, now lives in Colorado.  He’s never been in the military, but I’ll keep things discreet and refrain from referring to him by name (just initials).  We visited him in Colorado twice, and sometimes his job brought him back to the East Coast, in which case we’d meet up for drinks to catch up. 

 When we grew up in Maryland, we went to Catholic school.  Oddly, none of our neighborhood friends went to that school; all our friends from school lived elsewhere in the Gaithersburg area.  As of 2020 I am not in contact with any of the neighborhood kids anymore.  The nearest neighbor, Paul, went to UMCP initially and I met up with him at the Ellicott cafeteria, but soon thereafter transferred to another college and I haven’t heard from him since.   Of the St. Martin’s crowd, I chat with KR on Facebook but have no other contacts.

 That brings me up to law school.  I’m still friends with JG who lives down in Virginia Beach, and JR who lives near Fair Oaks.  JG has a general practice, whereas JR is mainly in immigration, but licensed in Virginia so he can handle other cases which cross his desk as suit him and his clients.  My close friend JB, with whom I mowed lawns the summer after first year and attended the Grateful Dead at RFK in 1992, moved down to NASCARolina and seems to be doing well there. 

 Question Marks.  My buddy Ken, with whom I went to college at UMCP from 1986-90, disowned me in 2008.  From 1991 to 2008 I visited him in Bloomfield, Ford, and Hillsborough, New Jersey multiple times and attended various concerts with him.  However, in 2008 his wife left him and I made a comment which he took badly.  Everyone else I talked to said the comment was unobjectionable and his reaction was abnormal.   He’s also unfriended me on LinkedIn, of all sites.  I have not physically abused him, insulted him, attacked him, cheated him, or done anything to deserve his contempt.  I just seem to upset him very easily. 

 It’s sad, because Ken turned me on to Blue Cheer, Alice in Chains, King Crimson, and many stoner rock bands, plus he gave me a heads up for the Black Sabbath concert at Richie Coliseum on the Cross Purposes tour in 1994.  More than anyone else I know, he shares my love of obscure and bizarre bands, many of whom he turned me onto.  Sadly, he refuses to even communicate through mutual friends.  Well, that’s his business.  I wish him luck and good fortune wherever he might be. 

 The other is Baron, with whom I went to college.  Here’s a guy who lit up the room and dominated the conversation with an extremely strong personality and immense charisma.  We hung out considerably and got along fine.  After college he moved to New York City and I lost contact with him. 

 What’s strange is that he is completely absent from the Internet, from Facebook, and from LinkedIn.  His background is in finance, not the military or intelligence, so his complete absence from social media is a major mystery.  I’m not aware he had any legal troubles or run-ins with the SEC, which would be the most plausible issues to induce him to keep a low profile.  And he was far from shy or introverted.   

His legacy is “choose to miss out.”  Back when he was a stock broker, he’d have to cold call clients to get them to invest, and naturally not all of them were ready to throw money at him just so he would earn a commission.   But he also had a habit of making an offer which was mostly in his best interest, not yours, and when you declined, he’d shake his head and reply, “sorry you chose to miss out.”   Now we laugh and use the expression whenever we decline similar offers not in our best interests.   

For his sake, I hope Baron is ok, wherever he is, and not in Witness Protection or hiding for any reason.  Maybe he can hook up with Ken – with whom he was friends – and they can share their UMCP memories, such as they might be. 

Without me.      

Vietnam War

 

Yet again I notice a massive oversight:  I’ve done blogs on all those obscure wars no one really cares about, but haven’t addressed this one directly, though I have done so in other blogs.  This war actually occurred in my own lifetime and veterans exist in my presence, though I’m not aware of any relatives who fought.  My uncles were WWII veterans and too old by this time, most of my male cousins were too young, the only one possibly old enough was in college and probably exempt from the draft for that reason.

 Golf.  My brother likes to play golf, a hobby I don’t share – my preference is shooting guns at the range.  So sometimes they pair him up with a partner.  One time his partner wound up being an elderly veteran.  My brother asked him, “WWII?” which prompted Mr. War Guy to respond, “how old do you think I am?  No, Vietnam.”  Well, with the war 40 years ago and no children serving, that means US Vietnam war veterans (enlisted men, NCOs and junior officers) would be at least 60-70 years old by now; senior officers and generals would be long dead.  By now the WWII veterans are dead, and absent magic, so would be our AEF and Civil War veterans as well.  As noted earlier, the last veterans of the Franco-Prussian War (1870-71) died in the early 1950s.

 Draft.  This was the last war for which we actually drafted soldiers – we switched to a volunteer military in 1973.  The Selective Service is still in existence and I happily registered when I turned 18 in January 1987, but my subpar hearing kept me out of West Point, ROTC, JAG, and the National Guard.   

 Movies.  There are plenty of movies about the war. I don’t think I’ll try to mention all of them, but those of them that I will mention, I will cite chronologically in the narrative.  I’m also seeing some Vietnam War segments in “The Umbrella Academy”, to the point where the character (Klaus, #4) is still wearing his combat uniform back home far away from combat.   See below….

 Background.  Among other items which French Emperor Louis Napoleon, aka Napoleon III, accomplished between 1848 and 1870 – the biggest being expanding Paris to its current 20 Arrondissement size and giving us those wide avenues – the other foreign policy “thing” he did outside Mexico was taking “Indochina” from China and making Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia a French colony.  Hanoi and Saigon received a French treatment, the latter becoming the de facto “Paris of Southeast Asia” – just as Beirut was the “Paris of the Middle East” and Bucharest fancies itself the “Paris of Eastern Europe”. 

 During WWII the Japanese took Indochina away from France, while the Germans took France away from France.  We sent advisors to Vietnam to help a communist guy, Ho Chi Minh, train his own rebels, the Viet Minh, to fight against the Japanese.  They did so with the understanding and expectation that after the war, Vietnam would become independent, but the US saw fit to give it back to France.  A new guerilla war broke out, and by 1954 the Viet Minh had defeated the French at Dien Bien Phu.   Promised elections never materialized, so by 1956 Vietnam was separated into North (communist) and South (pro-US, another mish-mash corrupt democracy). 

 By the late 1950s the North Vietnamese began a campaign to take over South Vietnam.  [Movie:  “The Quiet American” with Brendan Fraser and Michael Caine.]  The US sent advisors, but not ground troops.  [Movie: “Go Tell The Spartans” with Burt Lancaster].  By late 1963 the guerilla war was going poorly for the North Vietnamese until Ngo Dinh Diem was assassinated.  This threw the South Vietnamese regime into turmoil and allowed the North Vietnamese to get back on track.

 Gulf of Tonkin & Ia Drang.  By 1964 the communists were on the verge of winning the war.   President Johnson got US forces sent to Vietnam by 1965, with the first encounter between US ground troops and the NVA at Ia Drang.  This deployment was the only strategic surprise we enjoyed against the North Vietnamese.  [Movie:  “We Were Soldiers” with Mel Gibson].

 Tet 1968.  [Movie:  “Full Metal Jacket” with Matthew Modine and Adam Baldwin.  This is actually my favorite Vietnam War movie.]  The story had been that the war was going great (from 1965-68) and we were winning.  We really had not much idea how many forces the North Vietnamese Army (NVA) and Viet Cong (VC) had, just a vague estimate, so comparing what we understood to be enemy casualties – the body count – with what we believed was the enemy’s troop strength, came up with a fairly arbitrary assessment of our progress.  In January 1968, during the Vietnamese New Year holiday time (analogous to Chinese New Year) the North Vietnamese launched simultaneous attacks across South Vietnam.  Half of Hue was taken, and VC guerillas even infiltrated the US Embassy compound in Saigon.   Eventually all those gains were wiped out with heavy casualties, putting the NVA/VC so far behind that it would take until 1972 to rebuild to the point of making another general offensive.   But the huge surprise of a general offensive when Westmoreland, McNamara, and the President had been telling the American people that the enemy was on its last legs killed the administration’s credibility – the sad irony being that in the aftermath of the offensive the NVA/VC were in fact in a very weak position.  [Movie: “Platoon”].

 Westmoreland out, Abrams In.   “Seek & Destroy” vs “Clear And Hold”.  [Movie:  “Hamburger Hill”].   Part of the problem was that US General Westmoreland was using a strategy called “seek and destroy”.  US/ARVN units would seek out enemy forces, engage them, push them away, then leave the area, which would be reoccupied by the enemy in our absence.  Unless we knew for certain that we had literally killed all the enemy soldiers, this strategy was doomed to failure.

 In 1969 General Westmoreland was replaced by General Abrams.  Abrams had a better idea:  after clearing a village or area of enemy troops, hold it with a garrison force and move to the next province over.  Now you’ve secured the area.  Overall this works better, but with one major catch:  it takes a lot of troops, both US and ARVN, to make it work.  From 1972-73 we were drawing down troops, leaving the ARVN to fight by themselves.  The South Vietnamese didn’t have enough troops on their own to make “clear and hold” work. 

 Over the Border.  Another problem was that, politically, neither Johnson nor Nixon could justify a comprehensive campaign of invading North Vietnam, destroying the NVA up there, and conquering Hanoi.  Even if we succeeded in clearing all of South Vietnam of the NVA and VC, what then?  We’d have to keep US troops in South Vietnam indefinitely.   If you want the war to end, and for us to be able to bring our troops home, you are going to have to invade North Vietnam and decisively defeat the North Vietnamese Army.   And if you can’t do that, you’ve entered a war you will never win.  So what’s the point?

 Easter Offensive 1972.  As noted, the Tet Offensive depleted the NVA/VC to the point where it took until 1972, four years later, for them to launch another one.  At this point we still had troops in VN but were drawing them down.  Even so, the ARVN managed to hold off the NVA and this offensive was another failure.

 April 1975.   By now, the US troops had gone and US support for South Vietnam was at its lowest.  The North’s patience was rewarded when the ARVN collapsed and NVA forces were able to overrun South Vietnam and crash the gates into Saigon, which fell by April 30.  By now it was GAME OVER for South Vietnam.

 Office.  I work with Vietnamese clients.  Half of them are named Nguyen, the rest Tran, Huynh, Pham, Phan, Luu, etc.  They come mostly from South Vietnam, Saigon in particular (no one is going to call it Ho Chi Minh City).   It’s rare that I get any clients from North Vietnam, though my office manager is originally from north of Hanoi – she was a little girl when the Japanese occupied her part of the country. 

 M16s & Helicopters.   The two biggest flavors which distinguish this war for us Americans are the M16 rifle – taking over from the M14 – and helicopters bringing troops in and out of battle. 

 At the risk of doing NORML more favors, I’ll bring up this issue.  I’ve been watching “Band of Brothers” and “The Pacific”, both of which take place during WWII and focus on US soldiers in Europe and the Pacific.  Almost all of them smoke.   As noted in a prior blog, I do not and never have.  Barring personal experience and not having any friends who do smoke, I gather that nicotine calms and relaxes you without impairing your judgment.  Sure enough, these soldiers seem very relaxed after a cigarette but can function and talk normally.  Any long-term health issues are eclipsed by a concern of surviving the next battle and the war as a whole.  They have more immediate concerns than lung cancer.

 Vietnam is the first war where you see US soldiers smoking marijuana.  When Napoleon sent his troops to Egypt, alcohol was absent due to Egypt being a Muslim country.  However, hashish, which is highly concentrated cannabis, was available and rapidly proved very popular with the French soldiers, who persisted in enjoying it despite Napoleon’s express prohibition.  They even brought it back to France with them.  In “Platoon”, Sgt Elias (Willem Dafoe) and his supporters enjoyed marijuana.   There was even a real-life soldier, Peter Lemon, who had blazed up in a firebase, just when the enemy decided to attack.  He fought just as well as anyone else and even won a medal – the Congressional Medal of Honor.  https://www.warhistoryonline.com/war-articles/medal-of-honor-peter-lemon-was-high-on-marijuana-he-single-handedly-fought-off-two-waves-of-vietcong.html

 

Well, that ends my long-overdue analysis of this controversial and fairly recent US conflict….

Courtney

I started off the morning with no blog topic in mind and a third of three discs of “Two and a Half Men”, Season 5, to finish watching so I could send it back to Netflix – and finish season 5 as well.  At this stage in the show Charlie Sheen is still there, playing Charlie Harper, and Alan Harper (Jon Cryer).   Their mother, Evelyn (Holland Taylor) is going to be marrying a rich older man, Teddy Leopold (Robert Wagner), who has an adult daughter, Courtney (Jenny McCarthy), as seductive and provocative as she ever is.  Eventually we learn what’s really going on.

 Her name, though, reminded me of my own first love, Courtney Weller.  This was back at St. Martin’s in Gaithersburg, 1977-78, when we were in fourth grade (Ms. Duffy’s class), and about 9 years old.  There’s not much you can do when you’re only nine, sex obviously being out of the question.  But a date at Shakey’s Pizza in Rockville (now a Miller’s Alehouse) and a brief kiss, were the extent of the romance.  For some reason I got upset with her in fifth grade (fall 1978) and our family moved to Paris in January 1979 (spring semester).  I believe my fifth grade class, including Courtney, gave me a card that spring, but thereafter I lost touch with my St. Martin’s classmates.  For that matter, I don’t know if any of them wound up at University of Maryland College Park, which would have been the most plausible college destination.

 There’s a unique film, “There’s Something About Mary”, in which the protagonist, Ted (Ben Stiller) decides, decades after his prom date goes horribly wrong, to track down the girl, Mary (Cameron Diaz).  He hires a sleazy private detective, Healy (Matt Dillon) who tracks her down to Florida.   For his part, when Healy sees how attractive Mary is, he reports back to Ted that the girl is overweight, etc., and Ted sensibly takes the report as a fraud and goes down to see her for himself.   I think most of us are familiar with this, right?   Well, I can’t say I’m sufficiently motivated to track down Courtney.   Is she married with grandkids?  Or lonely somewhere in Maryland?  If she resembles Jenny McCarthy I’d be highly surprised.   Who knows?